Headphones

“She just doesn’t treat him right,” I sighed, my chin in my hand. Carly and I watched Ian and Lucy walk across the plaza and sit at one of the benches near the large oak tree. I felt bad talking about Lucy that way; she was my best friend. And you don’t fall in love with your best friend’s boyfriend.

“Why do you say that?” Carly asked. Carly, my other best friend, is on the only one I ever told about my feelings towards Ian. I glanced over at her; her long blonde hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, and her baby-blue eyes searched mine for an answer. I turned back and watched Ian laugh at something Lucy said. I pushed a curly lock of caramel hair out of my eyes and sighed again.

“She blows him off all the time. She told me that she’s thinking of getting back together with Chad.” Chad was Lucy’s ex and, although she didn’t like to admit it, she was still in love with him. Lucy was bipolar when it came to dating, in a way. Sometimes, like right now, she could lose herself in Ian’s arms and love him with all she had. Other days, meaning most, she would blow him off and make up some excuse about why she couldn’t go out with him, and then cry into her pillow because she heard that Chad was dating some girl from college. It didn’t make sense to me.

“Aren’t you exaggerating a little bit there, Jen?” Carly asked. Carly wasn’t a fan of Lucy, and most of the time she wouldn’t hesitate to express her feelings. Lucy often told me how she couldn’t believe that I was friends with, “a loser wannabe like Carly”. Carly was more out-there, and was often in trouble because she told another kid off for something. Whereas Carly was the outspoken and wild one, Lucy was the prep. It probably doesn’t need mentioned, but Carly and Lucy didn’t get along. I was the glue that held them from snapping apart like a rubber band, or simply going for each other’s throats. I don’t’ have any hesitation that in a heartbeat Lucy would attempt to claw Carly’s eyes out with her manicured nails.

Lucy had her good sides too, though. She and I had been best friends since fifth grade, when I had almost lost it at a spelling bee and Lucy told me to “suck it up and spell”. I was always grateful for her reassurance, even though I had still lost when I misspelled disagreement. When by herself, Lucy was the life of the party, and so sweet and outgoing it was hard to tell she was the same person when at school.

Then Chad came along and decided to ruin Lucy’s life. Chad, a soft-eyed black-haired beauty, waltzed into Lucy’s life, stole her heart, and then ditched her for the next pretty cheerleader. I remember comforting Lucy for weeks upon weeks. Even though she now has Ian, I still have to comfort her at night because I could hear her whimpering in the bed next to mine.

I ripped my eyes away from the smiling couple and looked up at our stone boarding school. This was the rich, fancy school that public schools kid made fun of. It wasn’t the school that juvie kids went to, but the ones that had so much money they wanted to get away from their parents. I wasn’t like that, but instead on a full scholarship because of my good grades and all-around good personality. I hadn’t told many people that, only Carly and Lucy, because everyone else had money and I didn’t want to be a complete outsider. Lucy and I were roommates, but Carly was only a few doors down if I needed to bunk in her room to get even a little bit of sleep from the crying Lucy. The plaza sat outside the school doors, with picnic benches and nature around. Everybody ate out here when it was nice, since we didn’t’ have a real cafeteria. Groups of students sat on the thick grass or on the picnic tables. It was Saturday, so most kids were visiting the nearby town or inside the rec rooms, playing video games.

“No, I’m not exaggerating,” I said, returning my thoughts to the conversation at hand. “She’s thinking of getting back together with Chad.” Carly rolled her eyes.

“Why does that not surprise me?” Carly asked. “After she finally gets someone that likes her for her and not her body, she ditches him like a pair of twice-worn Pradas.” Carly shook her head then laughed at her own rich-girl joke. Carly was on scholarship as well; only a select few of us were, and it was good to have a friend that wasn’t rich. How Carly got a scholarship after all of the trouble she caused was still beyond me.

I looked over at Lucy and Ian again, but my gaze focused on Ian. Ian, with his ruffled dark-brown hair and startling baby blue eyes. Ian, with his gentleness and all around love. Ian, the boy I had fallen in love with and the boy Lucy had snatched before I could open my mouth and tell her my feelings.

I watched as Lucy popped a grape into Ian’s mouth then turned his face to kiss her. They kissed passionately, Lucy clinging to him. I was disgusted. Multiple times I had almost told her the truth about my feelings for Ian. It wasn’t just a schoolgirl crush like Lucy would probably think. It felt deeper. I was probably being naïve, since a girl of eighteen wouldn’t know the difference between love and true love, but it didn’t feel like puppy love. It felt stronger than the love I felt for Orlando Bloom back when I was fourteen. Every time I saw Ian my heart would race, my palms would get sweaty, and this tickly feeling would come into my stomach and cause me uncomfortable stomach flops. I played off my nervousness by nodding at Ian and having small conversations while he waited for Lucy.

One of the worst parts about Lucy dating Ian was her confessions about everything they did. One night she came in near midnight, a dreamy smile on her face for the first time in a while. I was still up, working on a History essay due at the end of the week. Of course, Lucy hadn’t done hers. I had asked her what had happened, and she had gone into a long spool of her romantic date with Ian, and how he had snuck her into his room, but I stopped her there.

“I don’t want to hear any more,” I said, my stomach flopping but not in the way it did around Ian.

“Why not? It was so dreamy, and he is so good in-”

“Lucy, I don’t want to hear it.” I had given her a hard glare, and she had immediately shut up. We hadn’t talked about Ian since then.

I couldn’t help but thinking that I would be so much better for Ian. I wouldn’t send mixed signals like Lucy did. Ian had to notice that she was distant during most of their dates.

The worst part about Lucy dating Ian, though, was the guaranteed fact that once Lucy and Ian broke up, I wouldn’t go out with Ian. It was just awkward to date someone your best friend previously did. It’s just not something anyone should do, let alone me. It would just rip my friendship with Lucy apart. Even though Lucy was a pain in the ass sometimes, she was my best friend and my longest friend, and I wouldn’t do anything like that to hurt her, even if it meant receiving my own happiness.

“Yeah, well, nothing we can do about it now.” I said. We gathered our food (we had just finished eating lunch), and dumped everything into the trash. Carly stopped me with a hand on my arm. I spun around and looked at her patiently.

“You know, if your heart calls for Ian, there’s nothing that can stop it.” Carly looked me in the eyes. “If Lucy was your true friend, she wouldn’t care that you are in love with Ian.” A small voice in the back of my mind agreed. I nodded and we made our way into the building.