Get off the Ledge and Drop the Knife

*Gerard's POV*
I threw on one of my many leather jackets and headed out the door. I walked in the opposit direction of the train station and towards Starbuck's, hoping to get a visit in with Bert and some coffee. I was happy to see that he was indeed working this morning.

"Hey, Bert. You know what I want," I greeted him, a warm smile on my face.

"It's not me, is it?" he mumbled.

"Pardon me?" I asked, unsure of what I heard.

"Nothing," he replied sharply, finally looking up at me. "What, no Frank today?"

"Nope," I began, "Headed off to work, which really isn't the appropriate place for him."

"Oh," Bert smiled a bit, "Something happen between you two?"

"Yes. We ened up making out in front of my co-workers."

His smile faded, "Oh."

"But hey, I have a while before work. Wanna catch up?" I invited him.

"Not sure. Mornings are busy."

"Aw, c'mon, Bert," I flashed a toothy grin.

"Okay." I led him to an empty table.
"So, tell me a bit more about Frank," he prompted.

My eyes light up. "Frank is absolutely amazing. He's beautiful, inside and out. He makes me feel alive again. He gives me a purpose, which I was sorely lacking. He understand me like no one else. He makes me feel secure," I gushed like a school girl with a crush.

Bert's expression never changed. "Oh yeah? And what's this purpose?"

"To save his life."

His expression changed drastically. He was mad. "Yeah? What about my life? When did you try to save it? Was I nothing, Gerard? You have Frank on this high fucking pedostal. What about me? I gave you no purpose? I gave you no life? What, did I make you feel like shit?" he explosed in front of everyone.

I was shocked and angry. "Where is this coming from, Bert?"

"Really, Gerard? Are you forgetting out relationship?"

"No, Bert. I can't forget...." I let my sentence drift off. It was a fucked up relationship.

"You make our relationship seem like shit!" he yelled.

"Because it was shit! What did we spend our time doing? Getting high, that's what! If we weren't snorting coke, we were popping pills or smoking weed! We called ourselves nothing and we became nothing. We damaged ourselves as humans. I almost died because of that shit! What, you don't remember? You have to remember! You're the one that slit my wrists! And I let you, because I was just that fucked up."

"Because I loved you, Gerard! And I still do. And I wanted it to be forever and always."

"That's not what I want. And it's too late. I love Frank."

I stormed out, leaving Bert and the crowd shocked. I tried to forget those days. Remembering them only made my scars hurt.

Of course I don't love Frank though. Not yet, anyway. I just had to punch Bert in the heart the way he punched me.