Oh Baby Let Me In

December 27nd, 1999
Saturday;afternoon

The basement door clicked shut, and I didn't dare let out the breath I was holding until I heard Gerard's footsteps descend the stairs. When a slight bang was heard, followed by a 'Fuck!', I knew he was far enough from the door that he wouldn't hear me.

I let out a shaky breath, realizing that I had been holding it longer than intended, and gripped the edge of the chair I was sitting in.

I was scared, mostly because what had just happened in the kitchen in the last five minutes was almost exactly the dream I had last night.

Almost.

They both started out with Gerard in the kitchen -- in his underwear to be exact-- drying the dishes like it's what he does everyday.

But the ending was just a little different.

Instead of it ending with Gerard leaving the room, and me sitting here twiddling my thumbs aimlessly, it ended with those God-forsaken boxers he was wearing thrown halfway across the kitchen and me groaning so loud that I had woken myself up in the process. I think I had been more upset to the fact that the dream had ended before my fantasy was finished then realizing that I had a huge problem that wasn't going away anytime soon. Laying there for nearly half of an hour, trying so hard to get it to just GO. AWAY on its own. And when it didn't, I had to take matters into my own hands -- literally -- and for about the seventh time in the past two weeks, spent the rest of my night down at the washing machine.

But that dream had felt so real it was unbelievable. Well, as real as I could imagine at least. It's not like I had done anything like what I have been dreaming about the last few days with anyone. I suppose I think that's the reason why it's been happening almost every night.

I'm turning into a horny teenage kid.

--finally.

And for my best friend's older brother at that.

I shook my head as I rested my head onto the table in front of me. The more I continued to sit here and think about that oh-so-amazing dream and just the way I had envisioned Gerard and oh god I really needed to stop or this could end up awkward if someone walked in.

I sat up, breathing as normally as I could, and attempted my best to calm myself down before pushing myself from my seat. Clamping my eyes shut tight, I paced back and forth alongside the table, willing myself to in fact calm down, because ugh right now nothing seemed to be working.

Groaning lightly, I cursed myself for wearing such tight pants today. I lent my elbows on the table, my face pressed into my upturned palms.

Knowing I was completely worked up about thoughts of my best friend's brother in the middle of his kitchen didn't stop me from reaching down, and attempting to relieve myself of some of the pressure in my pants. Though as I went to 'do my business in the middle of the fucking kitchen', a noise from behind the basement door knocked me out of my crazy, suddenly horny stage, and as I heard Gerard ascending the stairs, my 'problem' was gone quicker than you could say 'holy shit'.

As I heard the handle of the door jiggle, and the door begin to open, I ran and slid across the linoleum floor on my sock covered feet, and reached for the plate of cookies that Mrs. Way had set out earlier. I ripped off the cling wrap and tossed it in the trash next to the counter just as I heard Gerard close the door behind him.

I turned to face him, cookies in hand, hoping to make it look like I hadn't been sitting in the kitchen the entire time he was downstairs, and as I did so, I watched as a few tumbled right off the plate and onto the ground. Gerard literally jumped as the sound, spinning to face me.

"Jesus, you scared the shit out of me," he breathed, shaking his head lightly. I made quick eye contact before breaking it, because I'm pretty sure I was just envisioning him naked not three minutes ago.

He was completly clothed now, which made me a bit sad inside.

The bright green and red sprinkles that had decorated the Christmas tree cookies were scattered all over the ground, and I felt really stupid just standing there staring down at them. So I set the plate back down on the counter, sunk to my knees and began sweep up all the little sprinkles into my hand, because I knew if I didn't, they'd be stuck to my socks and I didn't feel like having multicolor socks.

"Frank, just leave it. I got it."

I looked up as Gerard set down a few wrapped objects down on the table, and made his way to the small closet near the basement door. He extracted a bright yellow broom and a small dust pan and made his way towards the mess. He held the objects up and smiled. "These might make this easier."

I nodded quickly, and stood up as he began to sweep. What was already collected in my hand was thrown into the trash, along with what Gerard picked up from the floor. He smiled at me as he dumped the pan into the trash, and I shivered.

I seriously felt like I was in one of those girly movies or something.

"Could you guys hurry up?" Mikey's voice entered the room, and I turned to look at his flustered face. "Mom's got a big one she hid from me on Christmas! She won't let me open it until you two get in here, so move it."

"Say please, Michael," Gerard tutted, crossing the room to return the broom to the closet, a smirk falling across his lips, and I had to look away, putting my attention back on the plate of cookies.

"Please," Mikey emphasized, rolling his eyes as he turned from the doorway. "..asshole."

Gerard snorted from inside the closet, emerging just in time to hear Mrs. Way say "Michael! Language."

++

"Thanks Mom."

I buried my face into my sweatshirt -- alright not my sweatshirt, but that's not the point -- as I watched Mikey attempt to smile as he pulled pair after pair of tighty-whities out of the huge gift that his Mom had hid from him. He had looked so excited as he ripped the bright red paper off the box -- cleaning it up and shoving it into a garbage bag Gerard had just brought out almost instantly knowing I would spaz out if he didn't -- but as he peered into the box, it changed very quickly.

Mikey continued to keep that 'I'm-not-really-happy-but-is-pretending-to-be' face as he stared down at the contents of the box, but soon his mom's laughter made him break contact.

"Well don't look too enthused or anything," she shook her head, leaning back in the loveseat, reaching her arm behind it and extracting two identically wrapped gifts. "The box was a joke from your father dear." Mr. Way was stuck in Chicago during Christmas due to snow delay, but managed to send a few joke gifts; underwear for Mikey, and socks for Gerard.

Mikey rolled his eyes, but smiled nonetheless, as he reached forward from his spot on the floor, and snatching up the outstretched gift.

"Why do you always have to spoil him Mom?" Gerard mumbled as he stretched his legs out onto the coffee table in front of him, the large art set with practically anything you'd ever need sat next to his feet. I sat on the opposite side of the couch -- which really felt a whole lot smaller right about now -- still engulfed in his sweatshirt. I'm actually a bit upset that he hasn't asked for it back, just because it doesn't have that cigarette, apple shampoo, Gerard smell anymore. Maybe if he took it back for a day or something, but then I'd want it back.

Cause I really like that smell.

I almost fell off the couch as the other small box, identical to the one Mikey was ripping apart fell into my lap. I looked up at Mrs. Way, eyes a bit wide in protest to the gift, because she really didn't need to, but she just shook her head and smiled. I returned it.

Slowly, I ripped the paper away and opened to box, grinning as I pulled out another winter hat -- one with the strings and obnoxious poofy ball on top -- and quickly pulled it on my head.

"Oh aren't you two cute!" Mrs. Way cooed, sighing as she smiled between Mikey and I. That's when I noticed we had the same hat on top of our heads. Mikey rolled his eyes, but laughed and smiled as he pulled at the strings.

"Too adorable," Gerard laughed, shaking his head. Looking over at him, I noticed he had those couple of gifts he had carried upstairs sitting on his lap.

After a many, many pictures taken by Mrs. Way of Mikey and I in our hats was when Gerard grabbed at the gifts, and I was surprised when he handed one to me.

"Merry Christmas," he smiled, handing me the newspaper wrapped gift, shrugging as I looked down at it surprised. "It's all I had to wrap it in. And it's nothing really -- well, I mean, it's something, but it's not a big deal or anything," he rambled, ending his sentence with another shrug and smile.

I felt my face heat up, but I don't think, or at least didn't hope he saw, as I dropped my eyes to the badly wrapped gift in my hands. It's the thought that counts, right?

Very curious to what was inside the small, thin present, I ripped away at the paper, trying to hide my grin at the to:frankie written in sharpie on the front, and my eyes grew as I saw what it was.

When Mikey said that Gerard could draw, I never thought he was this good. This actually--looked like me. I could feel my eyes almost bugging out of my head and I looked at all the details of not only me, but of Princess.

I smiled, and was pretty much amazed at how much it looked like her since he's only seen her once. He even put in her little dog bone collar with her name on it.

My smile changed to a grin as I saw that I was wearing his sweatshirt in the picture. It wasn't in color, but the stitching in the arms was the same, and I had honestly never seen another sweatshirt that looked like it.

I held in the urge to launch myself at him, thanking him repeatedly because ohgod this was amazing. Also because Mikey beat me to it.

"Gee!" Mikey began laughing almost hysterically as he threw himself in between us on the couch. I peeked over his shoulder at the drawing, and a laugh escaped my lips also. Unlike my picture, his wasn't as life like, but more of a caricature of him with a lighsaber.

"You're a nerd, so I thought I'd give you a lighsaber to make you look a bit cooler," Gerard laughed, ruffling Mikey's hair as he passed the picture to his mom's outstretched hand.

"Ha ha," Mikey mimicked, pushing away Gerard's hand and himself up from the couch, heading for the wrapped gifts across the room we had brought in earlier.

Gerard looked over at me and Mrs. Way beckoned for the picture in my hand, and I smiled at him, holding eye contact as long as I could, willing myself to just say 'thank you' because fuck, he really didn't have to do that.

I licked my lips, my mouth opening because the words are right there but Mikey dropping the larger of the two boxes in Gerard's lap broke our eye contact.

I closed my eyes, and blew the air out of my nose. I was so damn close.

"Open it, open it, open it!" Mikey chanted, squatting down next to the couch, resting his chin on the arm, eyes wide. At the store, he couldn't for the life of him figure out what to get his brother, but after a few suggestions, and many, many stores, we finally found 'the best present ever!' as Mikey said.

Gerard huffed, and sat up straighter, dropping his legs from the table. Mrs. Way set the pictures down on the table, getting interested in the box sitting on Gerard's lap, because usually she's the one that buys the gift from Mikey to his brother, but this year she didn't have to.

He pulled the paper away from the box quickly, practically squealing when he could read what the box said. "You didn't?!"

Mikey had sat up straighter, a grin across his face as he raised the second box from behind the arm of the couch. Gerard lunged for it, though was much more careful knowing what was inside it.

"I've wanted a hamster for like, five years!" Gerard laughed, crumpling up the used paper and tossing it into the bag across the room, staring down at the small box that had small breathing holes in the sides. That small box sat on top of the cage that his hamster would be living in.

He slowly opened the small box, and reached his hand into it, extracting the small squeaking hamster that I had picked out at the pet store. He had a stripe on the top of his small head, and I thought he was the cutest out of all of them.

“Frank picked it out,” Mikey spoke, running his pointer finger on top of the hamsters head.

Gerard was grinning the biggest I've ever seen, and when he reached across the couch with his free hand and tugged me against him so hard that I practically fell into his lap, and I could faintly smell that apple shampoo again, my smile probably matched his.