Tough Guy

“Would you two shut the fuck up?” I growled at Zacky as he and Matt argued about them going out at a bar tonight again. Matt wanted us all to stay in and rest because we were having a hard two or three weeks and were exhausted. It was our first night off since the two at the hotels a little over a month ago. We’d be going home in two more weeks, so why couldn’t Zacky wait? Because he wanted to get drunk again, that’s why. I was starting to think he was turning into an alcoholic.

Jimmy was all up for going out because he was out of coke, but he wouldn’t say it out loud. He just turned his decision if he was going out over to Leana, who thought Matt was right. I did too, no matter how bored of the bus I was. I wanted to stay in mostly cause Matt was pretty much in a constant state of arousal here lately and I was greatly rewarded for agreeing with him, even if I acted like I didn’t sometimes.

“Why do you care if we argue? You know you’re just gonna stay here, bent over in the bunks, playing the bitch again.” Zacky smirked at me.

“Yeah, well, I might be the bitch but at least I get laid. I don’t have to drink myself into a stupor to deny the fact that nothing in any state is interested.” I smirked back.

Matt’s eyebrows snapped together, “Brian, you’re not the bitch.”

I raised my eyebrows, “My ass doesn’t realize that.”

Jimmy burst out laughing and Leana giggled when Matt’s face colored red and he looked sheepish. He came over to me, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Look, if Zacky wants to go get drunk, let him. He’ll be the one regretting it tomorrow night.” I shrugged.

He rubbed my arms, “It’s not about that. It’s about how he’ll play tomorrow, exhausted and hung over. One part of our sound is off and we all suffer.”

“I won’t be off. I’m never off. Your precious baby here fucks up more than me.” Zack spat venomously, “Shut up. I’m going out.”

I rolled my eyes as he stormed off the bus. Matt suggested we watch a movie in the lounge and went to get one out of the cabinet in our bunk. He came back with some movie he loved and I resigned myself to watching it again. I stretched out on the couch with my legs over his since he sat in the middle and his large palms massaged my thighs through my basketball shorts. Leana and Jimmy were talking to her parents and planning on cooking since we were stationary for a few hours. With Zack gone and Jimmy sober, it was quiet and peaceful, which was rare.

As the movie went off, Matt patted my thigh, “Do you honestly think you’re the bitch?”

“I’ve never once buried my dick in you, so yeah.” I nodded.

He rolled his eyes, “Being a bitch isn’t all about bottoming, Brian. I’m the bitch, clearly.”

I arched my eyebrows at him and I heard Leana and Jimmy get quiet in curiosity.

“Think about it. Everything I do, I do with hopes of getting laid. All you have to do is threaten to withhold sex and I’m crawling to do your bidding. I only have sex with you the way you like it: loud and rough. I never ask you for blow jobs or to do anything more than you’re willing and ready to do at the moment you’re willing and ready to do it. You’ve heard the expression ‘pussy-whipped’? I am far and beyond ass whipped.” He shrugged nonchalantly and patted my stomach, “Now, since we’re not doing anything and the movie’s gone off, I’m going to go jogging at this park across the road. Do you want to go with?”

He dropped a bomb on me that he thinks he’s the whipped one and then wants to jog through the park? WTF? I blinked at him, “Um, yeah, but if you plan on killing me the first time around tell me now.”

“I’ll go easy on you tonight.” He shrugged, “But tomorrow, be ready to run your ass off.”

“He can’t do that!” Jimmy cried from the “kitchen” of the bus.

We both looked at him.

“You’d become emo without Brian’s ass. You just said so!” He smirked.

Leana smacked his shoulder and rolled her eyes. I laughed and Matt pushed my legs to the floor, “Let’s go, princess.”

“Asshole.” I muttered and followed him up and out the door. Matt jogged like I played guitar-with an ease and a grace I didn’t expect. I found myself lagging behind just to watch him. He’d stop to let me catch up and shake his head at my inefficient way of breathing. He had tried to teach me over and over how to breath so that jogging a few feet didn’t leave me exhausted but I didn’t get it. Or maybe I did, but I was too busy watching him to pay attention to how I was breathing.

He jogged over to a bench, “Sit down before you collapse, babe. I shouldn’t have asked you to come without knowing how long this trail was. I figured, a mile at best.”

“Feels like five.” I gasped out and eased down onto the bench.

He took off a shirt not even touched with sweat and wiped my drenched face with it before pulling me forward so that my head was down instead of straight up. I could breathe easier after a few moments and sat up, “Thanks.”

“No problem. You looked like you were about to pass out. Come on, we’ll just walk the rest of it.” He pulled me up.

“Fuck no, let’s just slow down. Take a few more breaks, okay?” I stretched a little, “You shouldn’t have to walk because I’ve been lazy for the last twenty-odd years of my life.”

He laughed a little, “I wouldn’t say lazy. I’d say intentionally slow. Come on.” He nodded forward and we started out at a lighter, slower jog. After about five or ten minutes, he stopped and I did too, bending over to catch my breath. A run that would have taken Matt about thirty minutes took us an hour and a half but he wasn’t bitching. I figured he would be and asked him about it. He shrugged, “I would have if you had invited yourself. I knew you weren’t as in shape as me and chose to ask you to jog with me anyway. Besides, you’re a pansy, remember? I’ve learned to expect it.”

I shoved him lightly, “I’ll show you pansy one of these days, Matt Sanders.”

He grinned at me, “You do, every night.”

I stuck my tongue out at him as I opened the bus doors. He laughed and leaned in to kiss me, “Yeah, keep teasing, see how far that gets you.”

I smacked his chest with my open palm and he rubbed it with a wince. I laughed too then and climbed up onto the bus. Zacky was laying passed out on the couch and I could hear Jim and Leana screwing in the bunks. Matt pulled me out by the back of my shirt, “I need to find a shower and so do you. Let’s just go to a hotel for the night. We have the time and we know what time to be back.”

“True.” I followed him down the road to a cheap motel.

For the first time in like a little over two months, we didn’t have sex as soon as we were alone. Mostly because I was exhausted but also because Matt was in a “fuck it” kind of mood. He took the quickest shower I’d ever seen him take and then spread out on the bed on his stomach, watching tv. I took a much longer one, using the hotel’s shampoo and then realized a problem. “Dude, all I have to wear is my sweaty jogging clothes.”

“Shit. I didn’t really get sweaty so I just put my shorts back on. Alright, wrap a towel over you and I’ll go get you some clothes. Just shorts and boxers?” He arched an eyebrow at me.

I nodded and wrapped the towel around my waist. I was a little surprised he volunteered to go get me some. Normally, he would have laughed his ass off about me having to wear dirty clothes or go buck naked. When he came back with a pair of my boxers but his shorts, I sort of laughed and took them from him. He grinned a bit, “The idea of you running around in my shorts is kinda sexy.”

“I see.” I slipped them on and let him lay down. I straddled his ass and rubbed his back. He looked over his shoulder at me and frowned. I leaned forward and kissed him between his eyebrows, “What are you frowning for?”

“What you being so nice for?” He countered.

“You played nice going and getting me some shorts so I figured I’d rub your back. If it doesn’t feel good, I’ll stop-“

“No, it feels awesome. I just . . .I went and got you shorts because I couldn’t stand the thought of you running around naked. Not that I would have a problem with it but if someone peeked in the window or burst in the room . . . damnit, I don’t want anyone else seeing your dick, okay?” He finally groaned out.

Aw! I leaned forward and kissed his neck, “Thanks, none the less.”

“You’re welcome, baby.” He muttered and I growled lowly in his ear. I finished rubbing his back and he rolled over, tipping me onto the mattress. He rolled over yet again to press us together, “Why exactly do you get mad when I call you baby?”

“Why do you?” I smirked at him.

“Cause I’m not-cause it’s. . .damnit, I just don’t like the nickname is all. I like babe, I can deal with you being sarcastic and calling me princess right back, and I like it when you get all huffy and call me Shads. Baby just isn’t something I like to be called.”

“Well why do you call me that?” I looped my arms around his neck.

He sighed, “Because you’re my baby?”

I laughed and pushed him away from me, “Fine! Whatever. Can you turn off the light?”

“Got it.” He reached over me and flipped the light off. I wasn’t expecting him to cuddle with me when a). we had a huge bed and b). we hadn’t had sex so there was no need. However, after about ten minutes, he pulled me to him and buried his face in my hair. I laughed out loud and picked up the hand that was laying on my hip and pulled it around my stomach. He laughed into my hair and pulled me closer.

When we woke it was to realize neither of us had set our alarms and there was someone hammering at the door. Matt got up and threw the cover off me, “Shit, baby, put on your shoes. We’re late.”

“Damn it.” I yawned and grabbed my socks and shoes from beside of the door as Matt let our manager in the room.

Her eyes roamed his expansive chest, which was still bare, “Uh . . . think you guys can make it to the bus in five minutes?”

“Can we have seven? I’m a faster runner than him.” He pointed at me.

Her eyebrows shot up, “Um, sure. Next time you guys are going to take off, let-“

He shut the door in her face and slipped on his socks and shoes too. He grabbed my hand and ran toward the office. Pitching the key on the desk, he said, “Room 13, Sanders, we’re checking out.”

The girl at the counter didn’t have a chance to respond as we ran toward the bus. I could see the manager boarding it just ahead of us and groaned. Matt pulled me a little harder and we ran onto the bus. I collapsed on the couch and Matt ran to get a bottle of water. Instead of drinking it, he poured it over my head. I laughed a little and shook my hair. Zack was sitting at the table, looking hungover and disgruntled. Jimmy was on the other end of the couch from me, drinking coffee and Leana didn’t seem to be in the lounge. The manager cleared her throat, “Seriously, if you guys are going to go somewhere all night, then you need to let us know somehow. We’re now behind schedule by about an hour, an hour in which you guys can’t get back.”

I rolled my eyes, “We’ll speed. In fact, I know we will. I’m driving. Let me up there.”

Matt laughed and Zacky finally snapped, “You two are fucking us all up. I’ll drive.”

“Oh, no you won’t. You’re hungover.” The manager shook her head, “It is Synyster’s turn to drive, let him. I’ll follow behind you.” She ran off to get into her little car and I went up front to start up the bus.

Zacky followed and sat beside of me huffily. After we were on the interstate, I looked over at him, “What’s your fucking problem?”

“You and Matt act like you can do no wrong. You’re an hour late to pull out and it’s all shits and giggles.” He folded his arms in front of him, “If that had been me or Jimmy, you would have went off!”

“Well, that might be true, we don’t know. I expect you guys to get pissed when we’re late or whatever. I do not expect you to come in drunk, collapse on the couch, and wake up with a pissy hang over. We left because you were passed out and Jimmy and Leana were having sex in the bunks. We figured everyone needed their space after all. Sorry if it fucked with anyone’s happy little drunken world.” I smirked at him.

“I’m not always drunk. Just most of the time.” He mumbled after a few moments.

“Yeah, lets think about that.” I turned to look at him, “Whats happening with that?”

“You nailed it on the head, Bri.” He turned to look back at me, “I’m lonely. You and Matt have each other. Jimmy and Leana are in their own happy little world-“

“Only cause she ignores the fact that he’s coked outta his head.” I smirked back.

He nodded, “But nevertheless, he has her. I’m alone, like always. Even when I was dating Matt, I was essentially alone cause he couldn’t function as a boyfriend.”

“To be fair, last tour we were glued at the hip. I get you, man, I understand. But getting drunk every night? Not a good way to meet guys.” I reminded him.

“Shit, I’m to the point male or female I do not care.” He gripped.

I pretended to be shocked. I figured Zack was a die-hard fairy! He smacked my arm and then smiled, “Truthfully? I’d love someone who fucked with my head as much as you and Matt fuck with each other’s. Every since I first saw you two around each other, I envied that. Everyone I date treats me like I’m fragile and dramatic. I love to joke around. I don’t get it.”

“You need to date someone more like you and less macho.” I shrugged.

“Speak for yourself, Haner.” Matt said from behind us.

I flipped him off over my shoulder and he chuckled. I looked at him through the rearview, “What’s up, babe?”

“I brought you a soda and some junk Jimmy picked up for you.” He set them both close to me, “Since you didn’t eat dinner or breakfast.”

“Thanks.” I smiled over at him, “What did you eat?”

“I haven’t yet. I’ll eat when we stop again.” He bent in close and kissed me beside of my ear, “Have fun driving, I’m going to go write some lyrics.”

“Okay, baby.” I smirked when he growled but squeezed my shoulder, muttering a “pansy ass mother fucker” at me.

Zacky snorted at me, “See? Even when you’re bugging the shit out of each other, you’re happy about it.”

I laughed a little, “I guess we are. We live to torture each other. Okay, so where are we going? I hate reading maps.”

“Not the next exit, but the next. You’ll be there in about four hours.” He laughed, “Going the speed you’re going, more like three.”

“Alright.” I followed his directions. A few times, Matt came up to check on us. Every time, he left laughing, because when Zee dropped the dumbass jealousy shit, he was actually a great friend and awesome to be around. We could laugh and joke and play around without missing a beat and our closeness from last tour was slowly returning-without the touchy-feely stuff.

When we finally pulled into the venue, I stood and stretched before hopping out of the bus. Matt was there kissing me almost before I got turned around. I laughed and pulled back, “What’s up with that?”

“You were up front for the past like five hours. I wanted a kiss. Now, I’m going to go stuff my face and get ready for sound check.” He kissed my cheek and ran off.

I wiped my cheek, shook my head, and went to get changed. I was pulling a hat down over my hair, which was getting a little long, and was about to let Zacky do my make up since he was standing around doing nothing and had already done Jimmy’s and his own, when Matt came back onto the bus. He was angry looking. I arched an eyebrow at him, “What’s wrong?”’

“We have to get a bassist soon. I wish that little dweeb we’d auditioned before tour had told us he couldn’t travel with us. What did he think we needed him for?” He groaned.

I handed an eyeliner pencil to Zacky and sat on the edge of the bunk, “What are you going on about?”

“We’re going to get kicked off the tour if we can’t find a bassist. I know we only have two weeks left but it looks really bad to get kicked off.” He huffed.

“Why haven’t they mentioned this before?” Zacky asked and nudged me to look up.

I did and he finished smearing my make up to his satisfaction.

Matt shrugged, “I guess no one noticed a difference in our sound. Can your brother’s friend come on tour for the last couple of weeks?”

“I’d bet, we’d just have to fly him out. I’ll go call him. Tell your honey how gorgeous he looks.” Zacky commanded, pointing at me.

I laughed and Matt grinned, “I don’t have to tell my honey how gorgeous he is. He’s conceited enough for both of us. Just go call him, Vengeance!”

Zacky went to his bunk to find his phone and Matt sighed before getting up and handing me the pale cover up that me and Zacky both wore, “Go light on it and the eyeliner, but you can put it on me if you want.”

“Really? I thought that shit was for pansies.” I smirked at him.

“I just want to see if it looks good. I won’t be wearing it much, that’s for sure.” He smirked back, “Besides, I’m curious if seeing me in it does the strange things to you it does to me.”

“Ha! That’s why you hated me wearing it!” I laughed hard and leaned in to kiss him.

He pushed me back, “Don’t you dare smudge those lines down my face, Synyster fucking Gates.”

I simply shook my head, “Sit down, tilt your head up and hold still.”

He did the best he could. Holding still wasn’t his strong point. He kept rubbing his hands up my thighs and sighed whenever I tried to get him to stop. When I finally was done, I kissed his pouty bottom lip, “You’re officially the hottest thing to scream on stage.”

“Thanks.” He laughed, “Now let’s go shock the guys.”’

“Gladly.” I followed him out.

Jimmy horse laughed from his seat on the bus steps when Matt jumped over him. I simply pushed past him. He finally controlled himself, “You know you’re wearing make up right? It wasn’t like some lost bet right?”

“No, I told him to do it. I know I look stupid, right?” He sighed.

I glared at Jimmy non-too-subtly. He shook his head rapidly, “No, no, it looks fine. Come on, Leana, let’s go to the venue.”

Matt slung an arm around me and lead me over behind them. We were almost there when a heavy weight hit my back and threw me forward. Matt caught me and I caught Zacky’s legs. He was squealing something but in my surprise it took me a while to realize what that something was.

“He said yes! He said yes! He’ll be at our next show before we are, his mom and dad are going to fly him out!”

Matt laughed, “That’s great. What’s his name?”’

“Jonathan Seward.”

“Cool, we’ll be ready for him.” Matt grinned, “Now get off my boyfriend’s back before you break it. I stress it enough as it is.”

I dead stopped. It was the first time Matt had referred to me as his boyfriend out loud to someone that wasn’t me. Zacky slid to the ground and walked away silently. I kissed Matt as passionately as I could, “I think I’m going to go see what’s eating him, but . . .ah . . .”

His eye brows shot up, “Yeah?”

“You’re amazing.” I muttered and headed in the other direction.

I found Zacky playing with the strings on his guitar, tuning it backstage. I took it from him silently and tilted his head up. He had huge tears welling up. I wiped them quickly, “Zee, man-“

“What makes you so fucking special that he can actually admit it about you?” He sniffled.

“I don’t know, but, man, you’re going to have to get over Matt. You two didn’t work out and it was his fault, he knows that. You know that. It had nothing to do with you. It would do you a lot of good to go out and find a guy that is as into you as you are him. I’m sorry that we hurt you and continue to hurt you.” I sighed.

He nodded, “I understand, but I can’t help it sometimes. I wanted to Matt to be in love with me so bad that I couldn’t see that he couldn’t be in love with me. Alright, go tune up and let the techies do the sound check. I’ll be okay.”

“Good.” I messed up his hair to get him to glare playfully at me before taking off for the other side of the stage.

The show that night went great and we left that venue on no sleep and an adrenaline rush over the bassist that would be joining us in a little under fifteen hours. It was Zacky’s turn to drive and I felt bad that no one was keeping him company like he had me. I asked Matt if he cared if I did. For the first time, he showed an ounce of jealousy, “Do I care? Hell yes, but I understand why you want to. As long as you wait until I fall asleep, I won’t be bothered by it too much, okay?”

“Okay.” I sighed and stood, “Want me to warm you up something? You’ve only ate once today.”

“No, I don’t. Come here.” He pulled me down on the couch beside of him, “You don’t have to do those things for me. You aren’t a bitch, remember?”

“Yeah.” I sighed and stretched out across the couch to watch the movie he had in.

Matt finally yawned after about an hour and smacked my leg, “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

I smacked his arm back, “Why should I?”

He turned and poked his bottom lip out at me, “Please?”

“Fine.” I laughed and followed him into the bunks. I watched him as he got comfortable, stripping down to mostly naked and curling up under a thin sheet. He liked having the body of a fucking god but hated anyone else seeing it almost nude, which struck me as funny. He had no reason at all to be ashamed of his body.

When he was finally asleep, I crept out of bed so as not to wake him up and joined Zacky up front. He sniffled a bit, showing how sleepy he was, “Hey, man. Matt let you out of your cage?”

I laughed, “Yeah. He fell asleep, but I told him I was going to come hang out with you when he did.”

He nodded, “That’s cool. I know you hate reading maps, but . . .”

I shrugged and grabbed the map, “Mmmkay. Let’s see where we’re headed.”

I fell asleep on Zacky a few times, I know, but he managed to get us to where we were going without incident. Matt came in and announced that he and Jimmy were going to go to the airport to pick up Johnny. I glanced at Zacky, “Unless Zee wants to sleep, why don’t him and Jimmy go? Me and you can go hit the gym.”

His eyes lit up, “Really? You aren’t too sleepy.”

“Nah, I napped on and off. Besides,” I glanced pointedly at Zack, “he already knows Zack’s brother so it might make him more comfortable.”

Matt got it and Zacky agreed to that logic. As they left and I went to put on clothes I could lift weights in, I wanted the next couple of hours to hurry up and pass. I was curious to know what Johnny was like!