Tough Guy

“Get the fuck off of me!” Matt was yelling right outside of the bunk window.

I peeked out of it to see Jimmy on his back and Matt laughing. Jimmy slid down and Matt jokingly pushed him before telling him he had to go see if I was awake since they were back. I tried to see which one Johnny was but I couldn’t see him out there. When Matt came on the bus, I hollered to him that I hadn’t ever gotten to sleep.

He peeked in and could see why. I was hard as rock and still wet from my shower. He grinned, “Cover your junk, Haner, we have a young’un on the bus now.”

I rolled my eyes, “He is over eighteen right?”

“I guess. He doesn’t look over twelve though.” He smirked.

“As long as he’s legal, I don’t care if he gets of audio porn. Come here.” I grabbed his arm and pulled him to me for a long, hard kiss.

He palmed my dick and rubbed it, jacking me off until I came. I snickered when he wiped me up with one of his dirty shirts and tossed it in the plastic bag we were keeping our laundry in until we could get to another Laundromat. He smirked, “God, you’re never getting to sleep tonight. No one is.”

I laughed a bit, “Come on, introduce me to Johnny.”

“I can’t. Him, Leana, and Zacky went to get food. I had them pick us up a couple of salads okay?” He simply stared at me, challenging me to bitch.

I did. “I hope to hell you’re hungry cause I’m not going to eat that rabbit food.”

“Rabbit food is better than no food.” He grinned though, “I’m not totally joking. I got them to order you a burger too.”

“So I’m only partially clogging an artery today?” I grabbed a pair of jeans up and wondered if I should get dressed for the show now.

“You need to be ready to go straight on as soon as we get done eating. Apparently Johnny knows a few of our songs and what he doesn’t know, we’ll work on teaching him over the next couple of days. He’ll be okay, I think.”

I nodded, “And if he isn’t then he’ll do until we can find someone who is.”

“I really think he’s going to fit in. And I really think him and Zee have hit it off. They were laughing and joking around . . .actually they kind of reminded me of you two last tour.” I could tell from the way he didn’t look at me that he was afraid I would be jealous or something.

“That’s great. Zacky deserves someone like that. Alright, let’s get out there. I think I hear Jimmy screaming Leana’s name, which means they’re probably at least thirty feet away.” I sat up and after a moment, looked over at him, “You know it’s not just sex with us right? That I’m not going to suddenly want Zacky back?”

He bit his lip and shrugged, “I, uh, guess. I kinda figured you’d get over me eventually.”

“Not a chance.” I shook my head. That was the closest I could get to telling him I was falling in love with him despite the fact that I didn’t want to.

He smiled and it was a huge, dimpled, beautiful sight. He leaned in and kissed my cheek chastely, “Right back at you. Pansy.”

I stuck my tongue out at him and followed him out to where Leana and Zacky and a short guy with spiky hair and a nose ring that I was guessing was Johnny were sitting food out of three plastic bags. When we stepped out, Leana bit her lip to hold back a laugh and handed me a salad and a fork. I glared but she finally giggled and handed me a box too.

Zacky snorted, “He’s trying to convert you, Bri-Bri.”

“Never happening. I like my arties clogged and my taste buds satisfied. What’s up?” I nodded at Johnny, “I’m Brian.”

“The elusive Synyster Gates.” He nodded, “I’m Johnny Seward.”

“Cool. Welcome to the family.” I smirked and Matt chuckled. I looked over at him in curiosity.

He shrugged, “We’re one fucked up family.”

“Dysfunctional, maybe. Incestual, definitely. But I wouldn’t say fucked up.” I laughed, “Unless Jimmy’s got coke or Zacky’s drunk or you’re on a work-out high.”

“It’s called an adrenaline rush, dork.” He flicked me hard on the nose.

I punched his arm, “I know this, ass, I was just saying . . .never mind, eat your fucking rabbit food.”

He laughed again and turned to dig in.

Johnny whispered something to Zacky just as he was drinking something and he snorted at whatever it was, sending coke spraying all over them both. Jimmy cracked up, “Great first impression, Vengeance.”

He shrugged, still chuckling.

Leana spoke up, “I just want to know what he said that was so funny.”

Zacky nudged him, “Say it, Johnny.”

“No way. They’re huge, I’m short, I’m not that retarded.” He grinned.

“They won’t hurt you, you’re necessary.” Zacky shrugged.

He wouldn’t even look at us, “You’re both so fucking big, I have to wonder who the hell bottoms?”

“Me.” I shrugged, “Matt’s not pan-“

He stopped me with a hard kiss and I pulled back to frown at him. Didn’t he want to play the macho man and let everyone know he was too tough to take?

He squeezed my hand, “I’ve never done it before and I’m not really keen on trying it. I’m not a pain kink like Brian.”

“But Brian’s really, really good at it, Matt. You should try it.” Zacky smirked, “He’s not an asshole about it like some.”

Matt winced because he had already told me several times that Zack had been his first real experience at sex. He’d had one night quickies since high school but he’d been his first all night, all day, all night the next night sexual experience and he’d fucked it all up the first few times. It was my very firm opinion that his times with Zacky would have been exactly what I enjoyed as opposed to what Zacky wanted. I shrugged, “I like the asshole like quality. I’m in it to get fucked, not to be coddled. Matt knows what I like. I’ll learn what he likes when the time comes, if it ever comes.”

Johnny’s head cocked to the side, “You wouldn’t mind if it never came?”

“As long as I’m the only one he’s banging, no, I wouldn’t.” I shrugged again as everyone got quiet.

Finally, Matt excused himself to go put on a different shirt or some such bullshit, throwing his salad in the trash. I frowned, “Did I say something wrong?”

“Brian, for someone like Matt, you basically just told him that you love him. To him, what you said means more to him than the actual words.” Zacky really was Matt’s best friend, “Anyway, go get gorilla boy, we have to get to the stage. Johnny, follow me, okay?”

“That is definitely not a problem.” Johnny smirked at him eyeing him. For the first time ever, I saw the cocky little bitch in Zacky go into hiding and he blushed.

I wanted to shout out how great it was that Johnny was the one to inspire stuff like that in Zacky, but at the same time the urge to find Matt and figure out why he’d really hurried off was greater. I mean, Zacky could not have been right. I may have been falling for Matt but I wasn’t in love with him enough to declare it and that remark couldn’t have been what bothered him, could it?

I found him shifting through his shirts, looking pale and nervous. I folded my arms across my chest, “Want to tell me what’s up?”

“Yeah.” He turned to face me, “I can’t go on pretending, Brian. I can’t let the world think you don’t matter to me, cause you do. I just don’t know how to do it.”

I shrugged, “You’re making progress already. Put a shirt on, babe, and let’s get to the stage. We have the rest of our lives to show the world we’re together, it’s okay.”

“You mean that?” He asked, coming over to hug me.

I held onto him for a moment, “You bet I do. I cannot imagine my life without you, you prick.”

He laughed a little and slid away from me, “Pick me out a shirt. I’m going to go put my lip ring in.”

“Yeah, okay.” I plucked his faded old Metallica shirt out, “This one. And wear your boots?”

“It’s like a hundred-“ He cut off when he saw the look in my eyes. I thought he looked hot as hell in his boots and he knew it, “Fine. Boots it is.”

When he came back out, putting on aviators to cut against the fading light’s glare, he grabbed my hand. After a nervous minute of readjusting our fingers, he sighed, “So if I do something really outrageous tonight, it won’t bother you?”

“Fuck no.” I shook my head, “I’ll be off the walls happy so unless you mind me being happy, hell fucking giddy even, then go with it.”

“Okay.” He nodded.

Our first show with Johnny felt strange but what felt stranger was Matt coming to over on stage and actually hugging me from behind. He sang into my ear for a moment and I leaned into him. I knew he was putting on a show, but it was the most body contact he really had with me as M. Shadows. Sure, there were the not-really-there cheek kisses and the occasional touch but this was prolonged, purposeful contact and it had me riding high.

Before we could go off stage, right after my last solo, Matt stopped Jimmy from starting up Unholy Confession. He turned to look at me, “So, Synyster?”

I arched an eyebrow at him and barely caught a free-mike as it was tossed at me. I fumbled with it for a second, “Um, yeah?”

“I was wondering something.”

“I bet our fans are too. Like what the fuck are you doing?” I laughed.

He grinned, “They’ll get it in a moment, no worries. Right guys?” He pointed to the crowd and they all roared back at us. He smiled smugly, “So like I said, hey, Synyster? You feel like moving in with me when we get home?”

I bet my eyes bulged out of my head, “If you want me to.”

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want you to.” He wondered over to my side of the stage and hugged me to him. I gave him a huge squeeze and he breathed a ‘thank you’ in my ear.

“Glad you finally grew some balls to match that trouser snake of yours. Can we play?” Jimmy asked into his microphone from the back.

“Yeah. Let’s hit this shit!” Matt winked at me and I tore into the song.

Walking back to the bus, Matt walked with his arm around me, talking quietly into my ear. Ahead of us, Johnny and Zacky were talking animatedly and Jimmy was air drumming, hopping in circles and dancing as he did. It seemed like my very good day was a good day for all of us.

Leana asked if we were excited about moving in together in less than two weeks. Matt gulped. He had obviously not thought about the time. I stroked his hand discreetly, “We might not do it right away. We’ll only be home for a month before we head back out again. I’m sure Matt meant when we get home completely.”

“Actually, I kind of meant as soon as possible, I just didn’t think it had occurred to you that it was so soon.” He turned to me, “I’ll understand if you want to wait.”

“No way! The first thing you haven’t been a complete wuss about and you think I’m going to put it off?” I stuck my tongue out at him when his jaw dropped, “Just kidding. I am very proud of you.”

He kissed me and pulled back, “You should be. It’s not like you were going to push me into doing anything.”

“I’ll push you into doing something in a moment.” I mock growled at him.

“Okay, enough.” Leana laughed, “I didn’t think it was going to get a sniping match started. Jimmy, you need to take a leaf outta Matt’s book and move in with me.”

He blinked at her, “Or you could be like Brian and move in with me. Since my new apartment’s bigger than yours.”

“Shut up. I’ve had mine longer. It feels more like a home.” She pouted and Jimmy went into ass-kissing mode.

He pulled her down onto his lap, “Baby, I’ll move in with you if you really want. Thank you for asking me.”

Zacky and Johnny looked at each other, laughed, and did the whipped motion. Jimmy threw a couch cushion at their heads and Leana kissed him until we all just went to the bunks. Before we got back there, Matt reminded me it was his turn to drive. I simply gathered my sheet and pillow up and followed him up front.

He sighed after we’d pulled out, “Babe, I don’t want to pressure you into moving in with me. I know I put you on the spot earlier.”

“You’re not pressuring me into anything except eating healthy,” I snorted, “And with me around you’ll figure out exactly how great junk food can be.”

“Not a chance. I’m not getting fat and jiggly.” He reached over to pat my stomach, “I’ll leave that to you, Haner.”

I laughed and pushed his hand away, “You like my stomach, secretly.”

“Not so secretly.” He smiled a little, “So should we move into a bigger place or just use mine?”

“Depends. Are you going to give up half of your closet for all of my clothes or do we need another bedroom with a separate closet?” I smirked at him.

“I can share if you can.” He shrugged, “Though its pretty queeny of you that you would quite possibly need a whole closet of your own.”

“Yeah, well, we can’t all look good in gym shorts twenty-four seven. Of course, I’m not a freak of nature like you.” I eyed him and he sneered.

“Yeah, yeah, you know you appreciate all my hard work once we get naked.”

“Shit, you don’t have to be naked for me to enjoy it.” I didn’t care to drop the sniping and fussing to let him know exactly what effect he had on me.

He chuckled, “Alright. Um, how long do we have to get to the next venue?”

“We’re about two hours away, actually.” I said looking between the exit sign and the map.

“Cool. Then we can go wake everyone up.” He winked at me and I laughed.

I pulled the sheet up over me, “You’ll have to wake my ass up first. I’m going to sleep.”

“Dillweed.” He muttered but reached over and squeezed my hand.

It barely seemed like an hour later when Matt nudged me, “Baby, let’s go to bed.”

“Nope.” I muttered and rubbed at my eyes. I found my self being swung up and my feet on the floor. He half-assed walked me back to the bunks and stripped my shirt and pj pants off before pushing me into the bunk. I grunted when I landed only for him to push in behind me and snuggle up against my back. I turned to look at him blurrily over my shoulder, “Were you serious about having sex?”

“Um, yeah.” He laughed, “My dick is as-“

“I can feel it.” I grinned and turned toward him. Just as our lips touched, Matt’s cell phone rang.

He groaned and went hunting for it. He found it and flipped it open, “Hey, Dad. I’ll be right back, Brian.”

I nodded and flipped over onto my stomach, knowing I’d probably be more than half asleep when he came back.

I was but I shot up with a bang when he shook me, “Brian, my parents fucking know about us and they’re going to give us a week at home before coming to visit us.”

“What the fuck? How did they find out?” I knew Matt wasn’t ready to tell his parents. His relationship with them was touch and go as it was.

“I don’t fucking know.” He sat down on the edge of the bunk and cradled his head in his hands.

I sat up and rubbed his back, “What exactly did they say, baby?”

For the first time ever, he didn’t growl at me for using that term, “That they knew I was gay and that we were together and they wanted to talk about it. I told them I could talk to them now . . .just go ahead and get the drama over with you know? But Dad stopped Mom from going any further. He apologized for calling so late and told me we’d talk when I got home. I told him I’d be super busy for a week or so and that’s when Mom said she’d give us, meaning you and me, a week to get settled in before coming over.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound that bad, babe. Come on, lay down. Get some rest. You’ll worry yourself to death about this shit if you don’t.” I tugged him downward.

He nodded and scooted the rest of the way into the bunk. I turned over onto my side, figuring he’d want some space. I was wrong. A moment later, he was leeched onto me, his face snuggled into my hair and his arms gripping me hard.

The rest of the day, after we finally crawled out of bed, he was quiet and tense. He went to go take a shower and I stayed on the bus, giving him time to think without me. Zacky nudged me, “What’s wrong with Matt, Brian?”

“His parents found out we’re together.” I mumbled into a can of beer.

His eyes grew wide, “Shit. They just now started accepting Avenged as a real career and let him start coming back around.”

“I know.” I sighed, “Do you think this will be as bad as he thinks it will be? You and Jim know his parents best.”

Jimmy spoke up, “Kim and Gary are awesome when Matt’s not being a dick head. They all love each other. Just be yourself when you meet them for the first time and let Kim know you love Matt. She’ll instantly like you.”

“So despite the fact that they kicked him out as a teenager and the big-rough-guy façade he carries around, he’s basically a momma’s boy?” I grinned at Jimmy who nodded. Oh when this was all over I was totally calling Matt on that one!

He came back on the bus later and framed my face with his large hands, “You know I care about you, right?”

“Yeah, of course.” I looked at him steadily, “Why?”

“Because I’m scared shitless of coming out to my parents so if I act retarded until that’s all over, I’m apologizing ahead of time.” He shrugged and leaned in to kiss me, “So, I’m sorry.”

I laughed a little, “Uh, Matt?”

His eyebrows lifted.

“I’m sort of used to you acting retarded. No apologies necessary.”

He mock-glared at me and I kissed him roughly, “Right, let’s go.”

I decided then and there that I was going to be as supportive as Matt was nervous. From the way he paced and rubbed his hands together, I knew I’d have to work hard at that.