Tough Guy

I pushed into the recording studio, rubbing at my eyes. Matt huffed, “You’re late, Haner. I let Zacky go ahead and record some backing vocals in your spot since he was here on time.”

“Hey, cut me some slack. Four year olds are not fun to deal with all night.” I groused. I’d had to watch McKenna and her best friend the night before so that my parents could both work. Brent had been god-knows-where doing something retarded without a doubt.

“They’re four. You scare them into being good-“

“My little sister has me twisted around her little finger and she knows it. Scaring her would never happen. Besides, you know it’s going to take more time to record Zacky’s vocals than it will take to do my part of the song. Why not go ahead and get the stress out of the way?” I smirked at him.

He shrugged, “We usually try to get more done in the afternoon than in the morning because you’re all lazy asses. Plus we have bass auditions this afternoon.”

“Oh, shit, I forgot. How many are scheduled to come in?” I grabbed the paper off the soundboard in front of him and he frowned at me. He was entirely too use to being in control.

“Only four, and only two of those could be serious. The other two are kind of not right for us, one cause it’s a girl. No, I’m not being sexist, I’m just thinking how miserable she’d be on tour with us. Four men and one chick? She’d either kill us or run screaming by the end of the first week. Although, you and Zacky might be more comfortable with a chick around . . .” He smirked.

I glared at him, “Look, we need to talk. You have issues. I’m aware that you and Zack use to fuck around and play at being a couple when you could get the rod stuck up your ass to detach. I know that you think you’re better for him, even closeted, than me. But you’re going to have to get over it. Zacky and I are together and whatever problem you have with me needs to take a damn hike out of our relationship.”

“Talking implies I get to put my two cents in too. I don’t really give a fuck if you’re involved. Not caring too much because I know one damn thing that you aren’t aware of, Haner.” Matt stood up, “Zacky’s a man whore. He’ll get tired of you like he got tired of me and want to fuck anything else that has big muscles and a big dick. That’s fine. He’s still my best friend . . .and I still think he’s sexy as hell. Would I date him again? Never in a million years. Do I want him to date you? Fuck no. Do I care if he dates other people? Nope.”

“Then why not me?” I asked.

“Because something about you makes me crazy when I see you two together. I can’t explain it and I don’t really care to. I just don’t like the fucking idea. Plus, I still think you’re a pansy.” He smirked, “Albeit, a beast of one, but one at heart anyway.”

“I swear the next time you call me a pansy, I’m going to wipe the floor with your greasy ass head.” I growled just as Zacky stepped out of the recording booth.

Matt groaned because he’d missed the entire session, “Zee, buddy, I have no clue how you did. Give me five minutes to listen to it, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Hey, baby.” He bent to kiss me, “I wish you could have been here this morning.”

I smiled at the little pop kiss. It was the closest we’d come to kissing yet and had only been happening the last few days although we’d been officially together for weeks. “Why, what happened this morning?”

“Matt had to break his car window to get in and I thought he was going to cry.” He laughed, “He left his keys in the ignition and they have the studio keys on it.”

“I have a studio key, why didn’t you guys just call me?” I frowned.

“We did. Thirty two times. I tried to tell Matt you sleep like a rock and we should just take my car and come to your house to wake you up, but he said . . .well, nevermind.” I could kind of imagine how he would have reacted to coming to my house.

He took the headphones off, “You did good, Zacky. How come you can’t do that well normally?”

“I don’t know. I liked this song a lot. It was fun.” He shrugged, “So when do the bassist auditions start?”

“Two.” He sighed, “So we have like three hours to record Brian’s part, get Jimmy done, and then mine.”

“Easy peasy.” I shrugged and went to grab my guitar, “Count me in over the headset, Zee.” Even though I played lead, a lot of times Zacky played the intro to our songs and I came in with tearing riffs and sweeps.

Jimmy was nursing a hangover, but even with that he was an awesome drummer. It never ceased to amaze me how great he really was. I loved watching him almost as much as I loved watching Zacky play. Watching Matt sing was another experience altogether. We were looking for a bassist who was equally as fascinating to us all. We watched each other during the bassist auditions all that day. Not one of them, even the girl bassist, was like that. Zacky finally sighed, “Guys, there was one more guy but I told him no. I could call him and get him to come in, see if he’s even a little bit better.”

“Who’s that?” I frowned.

“My little brother’s friend Johnny. He’s a kid, younger than us but he’s good.” He sighed.

“No way. He can’t be more than a freshman in high school. That would be too weird. Maybe we can find someone to go on tour with us when we’re finished recording and I’ll just record the bass parts.” Matt shrugged, “I’m good enough and I should be . . .I wrote them.”

We all looked at each other and nodded. This was true. Matt was more than capable of recording the bass parts and finding someone to go on tour with us wouldn’t be that hard. I mean, any one of them could play the parts they just didn’t feel like they belonged to the group. So we picked out one guy who was exceptionally good, but not great, and had him come in for practices two times a week.

I pulled Zacky down onto my lap when we were finally done, “What do you say we go eat and go to the movies?”’

“Um, sounds good.” He leaned back into me, “But what about your little sister? Isn’t she supposed to spend the night tonight?”

“So we’ll go get her, grab a bite to eat, and go to a kid-friendly movie.” I laughed a little, “Unless I can convince Mom and Dad that she doesn’t need to come over tonight.”

“Good luck on that one.” He smirked, “Yeah, come on, let’s go.”

“Zack, can I speak to you for a moment?” Matt asked when we stood up. Zack kissed me quickly and nodded, following him out of the room.

I wanted to eavesdrop and see what that was about but that would make me seem way too interested in Matt. I was more interested in how he’d try to twist things with Zacky. Jimmy smiled sympathetically at me because he knew what was going on.

We were right though. A few moments later, Zacky came in and got his car keys and cell phone. He didn’t look at or speak to me, simply walking out. I frowned and got up to follow him. Matt put one hand on my chest and pushed me back, “He doesn’t want you running after him, Brian, so don’t try it.”

“Fuck you, Matt. I don’t know what you said to him but get your god damned hands off of me before I break every single one of your fingers.” I glared at him and grabbed his hand to fling it away.

“Fine.” He stood to the side and waved, “Go ahead.”

I hurried out the door toward Zacky’s car and caught the door before it shut. He glared up at me, “What do you want, Haner?”

“I want you, Zacky, and I want to know what’s going on.” I frowned down at him. We had known each other for months now and it was the first time he’d called me “Haner” or any form of anything not friendly or affectionate.

“Like you don’t know. Matt told me what you said. I’m not a whore, Brian, and if all you wanted was a piece of ass all you had to do was go down to the street corner.” He shut the door.

I smacked the window with my hand, “I didn’t fucking say that! Matt said you were a man whore. I’d never say that about you. I don’t want just sex.”

He rolled the window down, “Matt wouldn’t say-“

“Oh yes he fucking would. Think about it, Zacky. I haven’t even tried to kiss you, really kiss you, yet. If I were just using you for sex, wouldn’t I have taken it farther by now? We’ve known each other for months. Wouldn’t I have tried to have sex with you already?” I frowned down at him, “Not that it matters, because if you’re going to believe Matt so whole-heartedly, knowing he hates me outside of my guitar skills, then we never stood a chance anyway.”

He sighed and shut his car off, getting back out, “I shouldn’t have run. I should have thought about it for five seconds. Matt was my boyfriend of sorts for a while, Brian, and has been my friend since we were tiny. I can’t just brush off the things he says. It’s hard for me to not take him seriously.”

“Well, I don’t know what to say then.” I shrugged.

He stepped closer to me, “Can’t we just say fuck it, act like this didn’t happen, and go out tonight?”

“Um, no.” I shook my head, “Mostly cause I’m madder than hell and need to cool off. Give me a kiss, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He brushed his lips over mine, “Brian, I really am sorry.”

“I know, baby. I’m going to leave and go get McKenna.” I left without another word to either him or Zacky. It was sad that my first relationship in about a year and a half was so easily fucked up by someone whose opinion shouldn’t have even mattered!

*****

“Brian!” My little sister squealed and I lifted her above my head another time, watching as she giggled and reached to pull my hat off my head in retaliation.

I laughed a little, “Have you had fun, munchkin?”

“Yep.” She grinned when I swung her down onto my hip, “I wuv my brother Brian!”

“I love you too, squirt. Mommy and Daddy will be here in a few. Why don’t you go and get your Lovey-Bear and watch cartoons?” I suggested when the doorbell rang.

“Okay!” She kicked down and ran off.

I smiled and went to answer the door. Imagine my surprise to see Matt standing there. I arched an eyebrow at him, “What the fuck do you want?”

“Brian! Bad word!” My little sister hissed from beside of me.

I looked down at her, “McK, baby, didn’t I tell you to go watch cartoons?”

“But, Bri-an, I can’t find Lovey-bear.” She pouted up at me.

Aw. Even I couldn’t be hateful to that, not even with Matt standing there smirking at me. I sighed, “Alright, baby girl, let’s go find it. Come in, stay there . . .I don’t really care.”

I took McKenna by the hand and lead her around the house, looking under the couch and in the dining room, and in the kitchen. Matt chuckled and I looked up to see him pointing at the bookshelf that held as many CD’s and DVD’s as it did books, “Is that your Lovey-bear, kiddo?”

“Yep. I can’t reach it.” She pouted again.

He scooped her up and held her steady to get it off the shelf, “How did it get there?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged, “Brian, cartoons, puh-lease?”

“Sure thing, baby girl.” I turned the tv on to Blue’s Clues and laid her down on the couch. She pulled the thin afghan over herself and snuggled up to her bear.

Matt smiled and patted her head before motioning with his head toward the dining room. I turned the tv up a little so that if we started arguing she wouldn’t hear us, “What’s up?”

“I’m sorry I tried to fuck with you and Zack. I’m sorry I got involved at all.” He shrugged, “And I’m sorry I’ve been treating you like shit. I heard you’re looking for a work out partner cause Jimmy is drunk like ninety-percent of the time.”

I laughed a little, “And you’re volunteering for the job? Matt, you fucking hate me. You think I’m a pansy-ass. Why would you want to go into a gym with me for several hours a day?”

“Because I don’t really care if you’re a pansy. I want Zacky to think I’m at least trying to get a long with you. Not because I want back in his pants or want him with me again, but because he use to respect me. I fucked that up when I messed with you guys last night. We talked about it and I came to realize my first step in earning Zack’s trust and respect again is to try to give you mine. He cares about you now so I need to learn to. No matter how much of a fag you really are.”

“Ugh! Matt,” I sighed and pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose, “I know that you’re gay. We’re practically the same size. We like the same music. We like a lot of the same shit. We want to fuck the same guy! How do you get off on a calling me a fag?”

He reached out and pulled on a lock of my long hair, “Because, princess, it makes you look like I imagine you would right before you bust a nut. All red-faced, veins popping out, face scrunched up . . .its sexy as hell. Get over it, fag.” He winked at me.

I growled and knocked his hand away, “Asshole. And I thought I wasn’t your type.”

“You’re not, but that doesn’t mean my dick doesn’t like you. Sorry, pansy, but I can’t control that part of my anatomy. It likes what it likes.” He grinned and leaned in a bit, “And you with your pretty cheekbones and big brown eyes make it stand to attention with barely a blink.”

I pushed him back, “Matt, man, you’re treading on thin ice. Alright, you want to do this the way you want to do it. We’ll play nice for Zacky’s sake. I’ll even pretend to think you’re smoking hot because everyone else does. You can come to the gym with me and show off. I don’t care. But if you can’t cool it on the pansy shit, the deal is off.”

He rolled his eyes, “Fine, but that takes the fun out of it, pansy.”

I reached out to punch him and he laughed, side stepping it, “I couldn’t resist! I’m sorry! But hey, I have to say . . .seeing you with the kid in there? Kinda reminds me of why I liked Zacky so much . . .he was homey and comfortable with kids and kinda soft to my hard, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” I smiled, “He makes it so that I don’t have to struggle with being a hardass all the time. I can be the hardass. He can be the softer one.”

He nodded and smiled back, “You get it, which is fucked up because you’re the last person I’d want to get it. Well, when are your parents coming to get her?”

“Soon, why?” I frowned.

“I figured we could hit the gym if you want to.”

“That’s okay. I think I’m going to go spend some time with Zee, make sure we’re all cool now that you guys are all cool.” I shook my head, “Tomorrow after the studio?”

He nodded, “Sounds good.” He looked at me for a moment and offered a large hand. I did the usual handshake with him that I did with Jimmy and pounded our chests together. He sighed and stopped to kiss McKenna on the forehead, showing me he wasn’t the tough guy he made out to be, before leaving the house. The ounce of tenderness he’d shown my little sister was my hope that our deal would stick.