Tough Guy

“Welcome to the party, let’s get this shit started!” Matt boomed out and turned around to me. I was sweating under the stage lights and playing with all I had in me already. I huffed, reached to wipe the sweat out of my eyes and tore into our first song. It was our album party and we were going to play some of our new stuff and quite a bit of our old before joining the party.

At this time, our party consisted of Matt’s “girlfriend”, Jimmy’s, our parents and brothers (mine and Zacky’s though he’d be leaving soon to go home before any hard drinking started), and Matt’s boyfriend-which cracked me and Zacky up. The fact that Matt had a boyfriend was almost as funny as the fact that he brought him to the same party as his girlfriend. We sat around after we had played, drinking and laughing amongst our friends and family and watched as the thin, squirrelly little guy he had brought made goo-goo eyes at him.

Finally, Val stood and kissed Matt soundly, making Zacky cringe and me act like I was gagging a little, “I’m going to go. I have some modeling stuff I have to do tomorrow.”

“Face shots.” I muttered in Zacky’s ear, causing him to grin a little at me.

My mutter must have been louder than I thought because Matt glared at me but kissed her again, “Okay, babe, I’ll see you in a few days then.”

“Okay. Bye, guys! You did great!” She waved and left to our cheerful good-byes.

As soon as she left and our parents all scrammed, Matt stopped neglecting the guy he’d brought. He pulled him into our circle, “Guys, Leana, this is Donnie. Donnie, this is Leana Silver, Jimmy Sullivan, Zack Baker, and Brian Haner.”

The thin guy waved, “Um, hi!”

I wanted to say “aw!” but refrained from it and gave a little wave, tipping a beer bottle up. Zack nodded, and Jimmy shook his hand, probably giving him the warmest welcome he’d had all night.

Leana smirked at him, “You know, you didn’t have to keep quiet all night. We would have talked to you and shit. Just cause you’re Matt’s dirty little secret doesn’t mean shit to us.”

Jimmy laughed a little, “Baby, that’s not nice. He’s not Matt’s dirty little secret. We all know about him. He’s Matt’s stand in for either Brian or Zacky. At the moment, I’m not sure which, though from the looks of it . . .Zacky. No offense, but you’re not manly looking enough to be a stand in for Brian.”

Donnie’s face colored and dipped into Matt’s shoulder. Showing how much of a tool Matt could be sometimes, he neither comforted Donnie nor asked them to stop. His face did go red and he did fidget but he didn’t speak up. Not even when Leana giggled and said Val must be the stand in for me then.

I sighed, “Guys, let’s give it a break. Donnie’s new. We might scare him off.”

“And you’d care why?” Zacky smirked.

“Cause it’s not his fault Matt wants him for a variety of reasons and we haven’t been friendly or nice to the guy. I’m sorry, Donnie. What do you do for a living?” I decided to chat him up.

“It’s okay, I think I understand. I, um . . .I professionally dance.” He shrugged, folding his hands in his lap.

“I really hope you don’t mean in like a gay bar or as a drag queen.” My eyebrows went up, “Not that it wouldn’t be hot as hell, it’s just odd.”

“No, no! I’m a ballet dancer. I came to study musical composition in L.A. this year so I can write my own compositions and choreograph them when I go to dance for ABC next year.” He spoke quickly and softly and Matt’s eyes finally gravitated toward him, his lips quirking up in the corners. He kissed Donnie’s cheek, making the guy blush again.

“A ballet dancer, hum? How did you meet Matt?” Zacky suppressed a grin.

“Composition and Theory let out early one day and I sort of fell flat on my ass when I walked into him on my way out the door.”

All eyes turned to Matt. What was he doing at a Composition and Theory college course?
He shrugged, “I was trying to audit; that teacher doesn’t allow it. Let’s face it, we’re fucking kick ass musicians but not one of us can write a score that looks half-way intelligent.”

“I can teach you guys.” Donnie offered, “It’s not as hard as I thought it would be and-“

“I took that class at MIT and didn’t learn shit.” I groused, “But then again, the teacher is a bit of a douchebag.”

“Full on douchery, I agree.” He nodded and I grinned a little at him.

Immediately, Matt’s arm pulled him closer and he leaned in to kiss him, “That reminds me, you have a douchebag lesson tomorrow kinda early. Want me to run you home?”

He sighed in mock disappointment, “Sure, cause this has been such an emotionally exhausting night.”

Matt chuckled, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know she’d stay all fucking night. I figured she’d make an appearance, get introduced, and scram.”

“An attention whore like that?” Zack laughed, “I could have told you better than that. Next time, you won’t invite the cover story to a family and friends affair.”

“She is a good cover story though! And the record executives were supposed to be here for the signing, remember?” Matt growled.

“Whoa, chill, baby.” Donnie muttered, “It’s okay, guys, I really did understand. Guys like Matt aren’t comfortable with the thought that they like to bang a guy like me-“

“Wrong!” Zacky, Jimmy, and Leana chorused.

Matt groaned and covered his face, “I said, let’s go, Donnie. There’s a reason why I don’t let guys I’m dating meet this fucking weirdos I call friends.”

“Cause we totally freak his boyfriends out and like, totally, make him ashamed of being gay. Cause you know we’re so like unaccepting like.” I put on my fakest, almost-female voice and as lame as my comment was, Donnie cracked up like a hyena.

Matt kissed him to shut him up, shot us all a warning look, and drew him out the door. Immediately, Zacky burst into giggles.

Leana’s eyebrows raised, “Zee, we figured you’d be upset with that whole thing there. I mean, you guys were almost broken up before we even knew you two were dating and he practically fondled this kid right in front of us.”

“Nah. Because I understand that Matt is working on being more comfortable with his own self. That is fine with me. Do I think we’ll get back together? Absolutely not. Do I want to? I’m not gonna lie and, Brian, baby, I’m sorry, but I do. Sometimes, I really want to be Matt’s somebody but then I step back and I look at it. He doesn’t know who he is and what he really wants. He picks guys that are stereotypical to what people seeing him would think he’d be with, not what he’s really physically attracted to . . .like Brian.” Zacky smirked.

Our half-drunken friends nodded and agreed that Zacky was right. He rolled his eyes at me and I kissed him lightly, “I understand what you’re saying, Zee. And I’m cool with you sometimes feeling that way cause sometimes, I wanna screw Matt so damn bad.”

He laughed out loud and winked at me, “Well, baby, when that sometimes hits I’m always available for you.”

I growled lowly in my throat and leaned forward to kiss him hard, a major contrast to my sweet, understanding boyfriend smooches. He moaned into my mouth and a beer can hit my shoulder. I glanced up to see Jimmy laughing and Leana giggling madly. I sighed, “Come on, Zee, let’s go get busy.”

He laughed, his nose scrunching up, and took my hand, “Sounds like a good idea.”

The next morning, I barely remembered me and Zacky having sex but I liked waking up to him laying on my chest, his easy breathing stirring the hair that flopped down over his forehead. I smiled and leaned in to kiss him on the forehead, snuggling him closer to me. He mumbled my name and his hand came up to rub at my chest sleepily before blinking up at me. I sighed, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“I don’t think you did, but if you’re talking about kissing me? I’d rather wake up like that everyday at all hours of the day so it’s okay.” He smiled up at me with his eyes sleepy and his hair mussed.

I grinned a little, “Okay, good. Um, how are you feeling?”

“A little sore but if I didn’t expect that I’d be nuts. What about you?” He mumbled, snuggling back into me.

“I’m good, baby.” I yawned and gave him a small squeeze, “Are you going to start spending more nights with me?”

“Probably, though I can’t promise that. I mean, I really want to, but you know how it is.” He sighed.

I did know how it was. He wanted to be with me and be loved, but he wanted to be free to do his own thing too. We were so different that staying with each other would be difficult and we had to do it enough during tour. “Yep, but let me up, babe. I need to pee.”

He slid off of me and sat up while I took off for the bathroom. A few moments later, I peeked into the bedroom, “Wanna shower with me?”

“Um, does this mean sober sex?” He asked with a grin.

“Hell yeah.” I laughed, “Now get your ass in here, Vengeance.”

“Coming.” He hopped up and raced for the bathroom, joining me in the shower with a laugh.
As I slid into him for the second time in twenty-four hours, I had to try to make myself enjoy the sensation of him tightening around me and his moans filling the shower. I had to keep from wishing I was the one being pounded into the shower wall by his best friend. I was only able to do that when he arched back, pulling himself up right to drive me into him as far as I could go and pulled my head down to his. He moaned into our kiss rather loudly and painted the shower wall with cum. Seeing him do that drove me over the edge and I was glad our mouths were practically sealed together because if they hadn’t there was no guarantee it would have been his name on my lips.