Falling in Reverse

I cautiously sipped on my sweet tea, drenched in the blazing, Arizona sun. I let out a sigh before sitting up and glancing around curiously. Everyone thought it would be a good idea to throw a goodbye party for Kennedy and his friends since they were scheduled to leave in two days.

The grill was lit up, the bonfire blazing. In the Summer. In Arizona. It isn't that hard to realize that some people just aren't the brightest.

I looked around and realized all of the adults have managed to go inside. The younger kids, like me were outside. Talking. Laughing. Sharing stories. Making fun of each other to no extent. They were living it up.

While it lasted.

I frowned to myself as I continued to watched Kennedy and 'The Maine' goof off like hoodlums from a distance. All I've wanted my whole life was to fit in.

Feel wanted.

Needed.

As if I belonged.

When my brother Adam passed away, that left me homeless. An orphan. The Trotters took me in, fed me, clothed me, acted as if I were one of there own sons. Too bad Kennedy didn't really acknowledge me..

"Elijah!"

I snapped my head up abruptly, just as a blue blurred disc hurdled towards me. I clenched my eyes closed as it smacked into my neck.

I winced at the stinging sensation that seemed to spread over me. I let out a shaky breath as I rose up and caressed my neck.

It only grew worse as they started laughing, not once concerned over my well being. I looked up through my eyelashes and met eye to eye with Kennedy.

His expression was contorted into mixed emotions, never truly showing the actually one he was feeling. He abruptly turned his head and started talking to Jared, one of his less violent friends.

I gazed up at the blue, Arizona sky, sighing softly. I watched as the clouds leisurely moved by, going through there daily cycle. I only stopped when I heard loud talking pouring out from the kitchen window.

"He's been accepted to the University of Arizona!" Mrs. Trotter exclaimed, delighted. "We're so proud of him, he's been through alot."

"Especially after the events with his brother," John Senior, he was John O'Callaghans dad, I find it very complicating since they're both named after each other.

"What a pity," John's mother sighed. "But that's news to us, John hasn't mentioned anything about Elijah getting accepted. That must mean an awful lot to him."

"It does," Mrs. Trotter laughed lightly. "He couldn't sleep for a whole week. It tore Kennedy up pretty bad though since he knows we didn't really care much for him joining a band.."

"He must understand though, not everyone wants to be in a band." Pat's mother, Joyce spoke up, shaking her head. "Him and Kennedy still haven't patched up there relationship?"

"Not even close," Mrs. Trotter sighed.

"That's horrible," John's mother scolded, as if Kennedy was in the room. "If that was to happen between Ross, Shane or even John, well, they wouldn't leave the house until they came to terms with each other."

I ran a pained hand through my hair as I slumped my shoulders, suddenly pulling my knees up to my chest. If only Adam was still alive.. I smiled ruefully as old memories came rushing back to me, no pity in sight.

"Hey uh, Eli.."

I looked up to see John towering over me, offering me an awkward smile. I starred up at him expectantly, ready for him to start bashing me.

"...Yeah?"

"What are you.. up to?"

"What do you want?" I sighed.

He frowned and sat down next to me, forcing a smile. "I just, I don't approve of how our friends treat you. I find it rude and down right immature."

My lips slowly turned up into a small smile. "I would've thought it would be Jared to come talk to me before you do."

He laughed before shaking his head. "He wants to, really. But, he also knows that Kennedy would give him shit for being 'nice' to you. I don't give a flying fuck about what Kennedy thinks, he needs to grow a pair."

I snorted and looked at him. "Thanks for caring, but.. don't. It's only going to cause problems in your friendship."

"This is why I wanted to talk to you." John pointed out. "I admire how you don't give two shits how everyone treats you. Kennedy does too, he's just a stubborn ass who can hold grudges."

"It's not a grudge." I muttered, "Kennedy loathes me. No doubt about it, he has plenty of reasons and sometimes I don't blame him."

"He just-" John paused, shaking his head as he ran his hand through his hair. "He needs some time."

"How much time?" I snapped, "It's been five fucking years!"

He winced as my voice continued to grow louder. I huffed and crossed my arms, casting my gaze downward from the rest of the visitors here.

"Did I mention he's stubborn?" He offered weakly.

"Once or twice." I drawled out. "But it doesn't bother me as much, anymore. Adam wouldn't want me to live my life in self pity for doing something he wanted."

"Exactly." John nodding, smiling.

Why did I get the gut wrenching feel that he wasn't, in the slightest bit convinced. I abruptly bent down and picked up the vibrant blue disc that lay on the ground.

I finally began to tune John out, and his lame attempts to get my attention. Why would he now, pick out of all the times to try to gain my friendship?

I breathed out and gazed up at the now darker skin, blinking my tears away. Oh, Adam.. How much I wish you were here.