I Ain't Waiting For The World To Change

“You’re here because …?” His expression wasn’t very friendly.
“Here is the audition for drummers, isn’t it?” I asked and looked around.
“But you’re a girl,” the big man spatted out.

“What’s the matter?” My voice was getting louder. “I’m a good drummer and they need one. If they don’t want me ‘cause there’s someone who plays better it’s okay, but I doubt that. So… can I?” I wasn’t friendly anymore. I was tired and this man wasn’t the first one who told me I picked the wrong job.

Finally he let me in and I went straight to the drums, picked the sticks and started to play as soon as I sat. In the advertisement stood they searched for a drummer for a heavy metal band. There wasn’t a name, so I picked up a song from Metallica. You can’t do wrong with them! I did not even trouble myself to look around. When I finished I saw the people who were sitting in front of me – one of my favorite bands sat there!

“Well,” M. Shadows looked at the paper in front of him, “Kim, that wasn’t that bad. You can play some of our songs?” he asked. He wouldn’t ask if I knew them. Maybe my expression told them. I nodded monotonous and started playing ‘Dancing Dead’. When I finished this song – I was sweating but I didn’t know if it was because of the men or the room temperature – I couldn’t say anything, I was just starring.

“Has the cat got your tongue?” someone asked and they started laughing.
“I think you found your new drummer,” I told the band and the other man, who was sitting with them. I thought it was their manager.
“Not so fast. You mind if I’m joining?” The man with the snakebites came up to me, picked up his guitar and looked for my okay.

“Sure,” I shrugged. “I don’t even mind if you’ll join, too,” I told the others.
“You know ‘Danger Line’?” The short guy picked up his bass, while the other one took his guitar. Matt, the leader and the one who spoke to me first, sat on his chair and was watching us. Seemed as it would be only an instrumental version. Four times I hit the sticks together and began to play. It was very easy to play with these guys and soon Matt joined us and sang along.

“You were the last one, right?”
I snorted. They let me wait, because I was a woman. “Yes,” I answered.
“What do you think ‘bout a drink? We could get to know us a little better.” He looked inquiringly at the others and when they nodded, I also gave my okay.
“How did you come here?” Matt asked.

“By car,” I told him, as we left the building.
“You give me a ride?” the little one asked. I knew his name was Johnny.
“Sure.”
“So scared?” Zacky asked laughing. He was the one with the two rings through his lip. I rolled my eyes, looked at Matt and asked where to go. I knew the bar he mentioned and so I went to my car, Johnny in tow.

“Why did you want me to take you with me?” I asked when I started the engine.
“Sometimes they’re annoying,” he murmured. I grinned. “So tell me something ‘bout you.” Suddenly he sounded enthusiastic.

“What do you want to know? My age, where I live, the same old stuff?”
“You can start with that, but I also want to know your deepest secrets.”
I laughed. “I doubt that, but I’m telling you the other shit. Twenty-three years ago I was born in Sacramento, lovely family and so on. Nothing interesting. When I was twelve I started playing drums. I started some apprenticeships, but wasn’t happy, ‘cause I always loved the music more. Now we have to turn right, don’t we?”

“Yes, then left and we’re there.” I nodded, still watching the street. I parked in the parking lot and locked my car.
“So, what happened then? You worked?” Seemed as the interview went further.
“Yep, here and there.” I said and didn’t want to talk about the last two years.
“Look, they’re almost here. Matt drives like he’s crazy, also a reason I wanted to drive with you. Thanks by the way.”

“You’re welcome.” I was a bit afraid, what if they asked about the last years? You don’t have to tell them, I told myself. I raised my head, tightened the shoulders and stepped in. Soon I saw them; they sat at a little table (just the band, the other man wasn’t around), which was full of bottles. “They’ll drink all of them?”
“Sure, WE will kill these bottles in no time.” He grinned from ear to ear.

“Driver,” I told him fetchingly and waved the key in front of his nose. He snapped them and with a “Matt’ll give you a ride” he joined them. I sighed and followed him. But I wanted this job so much, so I smiled when I sat down next to Matt.
Johnny smiled, grabbed one bottle and handed it to me. “Who thought you to play the drums like that?” Synyster asked. This was the first time he spoke to me.
“My ex-boyfriend.” My Voice was less noisy now.

“But he’s not going to stalk us, if you would become a member of the band?” Synyster laughed, while Matt looked a little bit worried.
“No.” I sighed. The knot in my stomach was there again. “I think I have to be honest, if this should work. My boyfriend died two years ago and I don’t like to talk about it. I try to enjoy my life, so I don’t talk about this topic. So, what should you also know? Here’s no one holding me back, I love music and my drums, I learned from the best and I think I can handle you crazy guys.” I took a sip of the bottle.

“Ouch, you heard that, Zack?” Syn asked and kicked him with his elbow. “I want to see, if this chick can handle us, but I doubt that.”
“Make me one of you and I’ll show you,” I promised him.
“She definitely can play these drums, she harmonizes with us and I like her,” Johnny said.
“Sure you like her, she’s a girl,” Matt laughed.

“I’ll give you some time to discuss this,” I said and went to the bar. On my way I stopped. “And Matt?” He glared at me. “Johnny promised you’ll give me a ride home.”
I sat at the bar and waited. I consumed three beers when Syn came to me, wrapped an arm around my shoulder and said “Now, you can show, if you can handle me.”

I remained outwardly cool but inside my heart was beating twice as fast. Who would have thought that the day would end like this? He pushed me back to the others, which were smirking. Suddenly I stood there alone, but Syn came back, handed me and the others a shoot – Matt stayed with water.

“So, raise your glass for the new member of Avenged Sevenfold,” he said. We joined him and drank it in one go.
“Doesn’t this happen to fast?” I asked.

“You know we’re crazy and as soon as it doesn’t work anymore, you’re out,” Syn grinned.
“You absolutely need a stage name, I saw your full name on your application and it’s …”
“… stuffy,” I finished Matt’s sentence. Kimberley Aldrin isn’t really a name you expect from a member of a metal band.
“We’ll think ‘bout that later,” he promised.
“So, you got any tats or piercings?” Zacky asked.

“There’s a little bit of ink on my back and only my ears are pierced and my labret here,” I told them, while I pulled at my plug.
“So then, what about a new hair cut?” he asked and pulled on my hair.
“Nope.” It took me ages to grow it. It’s blond … peroxide blonde and goes up to my elbows. I like it this way. “And I’m not goin’ to change my style. You have to deal with that.”
“Deal,” they said.

“So what’s up for now?”
“Think, you need a few weeks to practice our songs, then we’ll have to practice along, and then we’ve a few gigs on the table.”
“Think I know the most of your songs, so that wouldn’t be a problem.”
“Fuck, Val,” Matt suddenly cried and jumped up and ran outside. I raised an eyebrow. “What was that?”

“Think he forgot to call her.”Johnny shrugged his shoulders.
“Hope it’ll be okay for your girls that I’m in the band.” I said and Syn eyed me carefully. I refused to call him Brian.
“Sure, there’s nothing to worry about,” he assured me. “So what it’s like to be with the men of your dreams?”

I started laughing. “Can’t see them, but you’re also okay.” His expression was speechless and Johnny was laughing the hardest, so he fell from his chair. I started talking to them, they told me what it’s like being a part of a band. Matt was still outside, so I asked the others. I hope he didn’t leave us here. “He always phone with Val so long. I’m even wondering what they’re talking about.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t ,” Zacky laughed.
Time passed, Matt joined us (the boys teased him) and by the time I got really drunk. That’s nothing I would do every night! When we walked – or better tried to, ‘cause Matt had to support Syn – Matt asked me groaning where to drive. I told him my motel. “But that’s on the other side of the country.”

“Stop fuckin’ lying, Shadz. Just bring me there or I’ll sleep in your car.”
“I’m not driving there. I want to get home tonight and not tomorrow. You can sleep at Johnny’s.”

“Sure,” Johnny answered while I was staring at Matt. I shrugged and then slipped into the car. I sat in the middle right between Zacky and Johnny – Syn was on the co-driver seat, head at the window and he snorted. I was glad I was drunk, because Johnny was right: Matt drives crazy. If I would be sober, I would’ve freaked out! We were the first one who had to go off the car and the others told me a goodnight and I heard them laughing, as I followed the little man.

“So, welcome to paradise,” he opened his arms. If this should be paradise, I wouldn’t want to know hell. Everywhere laid bottles, dirty clothes and magazines and something I couldn’t define. “Bathroom, kitchen and bedroom,” he explained while opening the respective doors.
“I would give you my bedroom and sleep on the couch, if you like.” The bedroom was dirtier – if this could be possible. The bedclothes were crumpled-up the floor.
“Think I prefer the living room.” I put the magazines on the floor, slipped of my shoes and Johnny disappeared and came back with a pile of clothes. “Don’t know if these fit you, but … better than nothing?”

“Thanks.” I doubt that they would fit. He was 5’4” and I was ‘bout 10 inches taller than him. He left the room, said goodnight and locked the door behind him. I changed fast and it fit, so I lay down and stared at the white ceiling. What a crazy day!

I woke up, because my neck hurt. I moaned and rubbed it. This fucking couch was terrible, too hard for an overnight stay. Johnny’s door was still closed as I walked into the kitchen. I opened the doors and searched for coffee, but there was no coffee in these cupboards. I heard a little whimper and looked down. There was a cute little puppy. “Where do you come from?” I lit him up and started to pet him. Suddenly it was warm on my stomach. “Oh no, you didn’t do that?!” I asked with a loud voice. I let the dog down and stared at the big wet spot on the shirt. Even if it wasn’t mine – still disgusting.

“What you’re screaming ‘bout littl’ girl?” a sleepy Johnny asked. He called me little? “Good morning, Peanut? I forgot ‘bout you last night. I’m sorry!”
“He or she seemed to notice,” I told him and showed him the spot.
“You take a shower, I’ll take a walk with Peanut.” I mumbled something unintelligible. “Love me, love my dog,” Johnny shouted before he left his place.

The bathroom was really clean, not like the rest of the apartment. I took a towel, turned the hot water on and threw the dirty clothes in the corner. There was only shower gel and shampoo for men – better than nothing.
Soon I wrapped a towel around my body, another one around my hair and stepped into the living room. The clothes I wore yesterday were there and as I picked them up my host entered the room. “Nice back,” he commented. Soon Peanut was at my side and sniffed – maybe because I smelled like its owner. Between my blade bones was the stroke ‘Soulmates never die’ framed by two wings. Over my hole back was a branch of a cherry blossom tree. Everything was in black ink, only the blooms were a little red.

“Everything okay now, little puppy?” I asked the dog, while I raised him.
“He’s a rude, not a puppy.” Johnny sounded really upset, so I chuckled.
“Sorry, if I hurt your male ego. Could you do me a favor? I wanted to practice some songs, but my drums are still at home, so I thought I could use the drums at the studio, but my car is still at the bar. You give me a ride?”

“Give me five minutes and I’ll drive wherever you want ... if it’s in Cali,” he added after a short break.
“The bar is fine,” I assured. As soon as he was in the bath I put on my clothes.
In the car he wouldn’t stop talking and I could only think of coffee. He told some stories, concluding beer, wine and a dog. Something that’s just funny if you were on it. He parked at the parking lot in front of the bar and I told him I would meet him at the studio, because I had to change.

So I drove to my motel, changed my clothes. I wore a pair of cut off jeans, colorful chucks and a simple Tank top. Before I arrived at the bands place I stopped at a coffee shop, where I had bought an overpriced coffee. When I opened the door I heard Johnny’s voice: “Her whole back is covered with ink.”
“Why did you saw her back?” another voice asked. Zacky I realized.
“She had a little encounter with Peanut” he laughed.

Time for me to interrupt. “He peed on me, that’s not a,” I drew double quotes in the air with my fingers, “little encounter.” Zacky laughed and I heard another one, who joined them. Matt was sitting at the table, in front of him some papers. “And now I smell like a man,” I complained and took the seat next to the singer.

“No, you don’t smell like a man. You smell like Johnny and that’s differential,” he said. “Here are the notes for some songs. What do you think, how long do you need to learn these?” he asked.
“How long can I play here?”
“As long as you want.”

“Think I can handle these tomorrow at noon,” I told him and earned a disbelieved look. “What? These are just a few songs, not all of them.” I took the notes, walked to the drums and started to play. There was much to learn.

Don’t know how long I sat there but over time my shirt was wet so I pulled it out. I was alone in the room, didn’t know where the others were. I wore a short top beneath, which doesn’t cover much skin. But like I said I was alone in the room and playing drums is like a type of sport. You need a pretty good cardio to be able to play some hours.
“You want something to eat?” Zacky asked. I shook my head. “You’re sure? I’ll drive to Burger King.”

“No thanks, but what ‘bout some coffee? You’d be my hero.”
“I’m your man,” he smiled and left the room. I tried to play ‘A Little Piece Of Heaven’.
“FUCK!” I yelled, still looking at that damn note. It doesn’t turn out the way it should.
“Need some help?” Syn asked. I hadn’t realized he had entered the room. It was the first time I saw him this day.

“Back to life?” I asked smiling.
“Looks like. So, you need help?”
“This fuckin’ shit doesn’t turn out the right way. I don’t get the bridge.”
He had his guitar in his hands and started to play. I joined him and we repeated the part where I stuck until I had it on line. “Foods here guys … and lady,” Zacky yelled.

“Can’t see a lady,” Syn murmured. Revenge for the dream men? I stood up, walked to the couch where my bag still lay and draw a new T-shirt out of it.
“Do you have more in it?” he asked and holds the door open.
“Sure my whole wardrobe is full of it. It’s getting pretty hot at the drum kit,” I said as I walked through the door and waited for the guitarist to show to go first.

“We have to talk with you,” Matt began with a scary voice.
“Hmmm,” I took a sip of my black coffee.
“You’re living in a motel and you have to stay here at least for weeks, before we have the gigs. We thought maybe you would like to …”

Johnny interrupted him. “You could be my roommate. There’s still a room I could spare and even better than a motel, right?”

“Um … To be honest, I haven’t thought about it. I’ve two terms: First I’ll buy a coffee machine and I won’t take the walk with your dog.”
“Think I can live with that.”
“While we’re on it, I need to drive home to fetch up my personal stuff and I need my drums. Would it be okay, if I drive there Thursday and I’ll be back on Saturday?”

“You need two days for grabbing your things? That’s so girly,” Syn laughed.
“Actually not, but on Friday it’s my little niece’s birthday, so I would like to stay there.”
“What about that, you’ll pack up your things, celebrate the birthday and Saturday evening there’ll be a dinner at my place. Val wants to get to know you.”

“Sure, I just need to check something.” I pulled out my phone and dialed the number. It ringed three times before my mom answered. “Hey Mom, is Dad home?” I asked.
“Wait a minute,” she told me. I waited until a deep voice told me, that my dad had the phone in his hand.
“Dad, could you do me a favor?” I asked.

“What do you need?”
“You know there was this audition and they picked me,” I wanted to talk further but he interrupted. “So soon? Congratulation, kid. I’m very proud of you. And I know Bryan would …”
“Dad, please don’t talk ‘bout Bryan.” It hurt to say his name.
“Sorry, Hon. So the favor …,” he reminded me.

“Yes, so I have to settle down in Huntington Beach for a while and I need a car to transport the drums and my bed. On Saturday.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll drive the transporter and bring it home. But while we’re talking about your drums …”

My heartbeat was faster. “What ‘bout my drums?” My voice cracked and I knew the others were staring at me.
“Cassie let the kitten in your room,” he began.
“Just tell me,” I begged
“She scratched one drum, the big one.”

“Fuck! Stupid cat!” I cursed and was so angry my hand started shaking.
“I called Luke, he bought something new for the … what is it called?”
“Bass drum,” I helped.
“Exactly so when you’re home everything will be okay.”
“Thanks Dad, see you on Thursday.”

“See you, hon.” I pressed the red button on my phone.
“Everything okay?” Zacky asked but I just shrugged. I just needed to blow off steam. “I’m going to practice” I told them and left the room. I heard something behind me, sounded like ambitious.