I Ain't Waiting For The World To Change

Johnny's PoV

I was driving through my hometown without an aim. I had a lot in my mind the last days and I couldn't sit anymore in my forsaken house. My car turned down in Matt's driveway and I killed the engine. I walked towards the door, opened it and let the dwellers know that I was there.
„What you're doing here?“ Val appeared on the stairs.

„Just wanted to hang out a little bit. Where's Matt?“ I asked.
„He had something to do with this band he supports. I don't know what exactly, but you're welcome to stay.“ While she was speaking I had sat down on the couch and ruffled Bella‘s fur. I didn’t say anything but lifted my head as I noticed Val staring.

„So what's on your mind? You seemed pretty in thoughts the last days and we all know you're not the great thinker.“
„You noticed?“ I asked and ignored her last comment.
„So tell me!“ I would like to talk about it, but I didn't want Matt and the guys to know. And if Val knew she would tell her husband. But on the other side Val is really great to talk to. „If you want I would keep it private, if it's that what you're thinking 'bout.“

„I don't want Matt to know 'bout this,“ I admitted. She just nodded and waited for me to start my story. „Well there is this girl I was...“
„Oh my gosh I knew it!“ She exclaimed before I could finish my sentence. „You like Kim!“
„What? How do you know?“ Is she a mind reader? How the fuck did she knew it?
„You two are so sweet together, you make a great couple…“

„Hold your horses! We're not a couple... It's just that I.. think...“ I didn't know how to say it.
„That you like her?“ She put it in the right way.
„Think you could say that,“ I admitted and my hand struggled in Bella's fur so she yelped and walked away. Fuck why did every woman walked away from me? Am I such a loser? Fuck yeah, like I didn’t know the answer. I mean the guys told me that every day. And then Kim came and she was like... I liked her from the beginning but more than a friend. But by the time I realized she was a woman and a hot chick by the way. And we had spent a lot of
time together and the night we shared...

„Everything okay?“ Val interrupted my thoughts.
„Yeah.“
„I think you two would make a great couple. Why don’t you ask her out on a date?“
„A date?“ I frowned.
„You could go to a restaurant, or eat some ice cream at the pier or go to the movies. Something romantic but don't overplay it. Remember you have to work with her every day.“
Like I didn't know that! She wasn’t just a random girl, she was the girl who played in my fucking band. How was I supposed to get her out of my mind if I saw her every day? We were on tour for months and lived together in this little place. I had my own house but she spent there a lot of time and I didn't mind it.

She's not like the other girls I saw. She wore just some random shorts and big shirts, had messy hair and doesn't wear make up and still she's one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen.
„Thanks, Val,“ I said and she held out her cheek so I could kiss her. When I was at the door she yelled after me. „Don't fuck it up, Christ!“ Like I didn't knew that already! So I was in my car again and drove back to my mansion. I saw Kim's car before I saw her sitting on the hood.

“Forgot my keys, again,” she said and jumped from her car.
“Why didn’t you wait inside?” I asked and opened the door and entered the house where the cool air greeted me. I took her keys from the commode and handed it her.
“You know, I don’t like to enter a house without someone knowing.”

“But I told you, it’s okay.” She wasn’t used to the fact, that nobody locked his house.
“So what ‘bout eating something, tonight?”
“Sure I can come over and we order some pizza,” she said. That wasn’t exactly what I meant.

“I thought we could go out, visit a restaurant, something like that,” I suggested.
“Sounds good. You’ll drive. Pick me up at six?” I nodded and she left again. I stood in my doorway till I heard her car driving away.
I played my bass, took a walk with my dog and went showering. I ended in front of my closet and didn’t know what to wear. Actually I picked some jeans and a black chemise which covered most of my tattoos.

“Wish me luck, buddy,” I said and patted my dog before getting into my car. I knocked at Kim’s door, knowing she didn’t like it, when someone entered it without her permission.
“Wait a moment,” I heard her say and then the door opened. She had made a lose ponytail and was wearing a long white blouse with some black leggings and some boots. “I’m ready,” she said and I just nodded.

“So why are we eating outside?” she asked while she locked her door and walked downstairs. I shrugged my shoulders.
“Thought it was something different,” were my simply words and I started the engine after she had put her seatbelt on. “Is Italian okay for you?”
“That would be perfect,” she answered and I smiled like an idiot. She had said perfect and I hope this evening would turn out that way!

I had picked the restaurant near the beach and it turned out to be a bad idea. Why? Because the whole town decided to go out today and the only free table was near the toilets. I sat on the opposite from her and I wished she had closed more buttons because I had a wonderful sight right into her décolleté. Not that I didn’t mind, but actually… fuck! I just wanted to talk to her and the only thing I could think of right now was to jump over the table and hump her right here.
“What?” I asked as I noticed her staring at me.
“I asked if it’s okay if I drink some wine since you’re the driver.”

“Sure, take whatever you want. I invited you,” I said and looked right into her blue eyes and then her mouth took my attention. Her lip ring sparkled when the light hit it and it would take two seconds for me to hurdle the distance and connect our lips. But this would bring me to the point I had already mentioned.

We ordered and I didn’t like the way the waiter was staring at Kim. I mean she was there with me and he looked at her like he would ask her if he could show her the stock. I throw daggers at him and the next time he came and filled her glass with the red liquor she grabbed my hand and thanked him. His gaze was fixed at our connected hands and then he went away. As soon as he was out of sight she let go of me and I groaned silently.
“So, how is Nap doing?” I asked because it was the first thing which came to my mind.

“Same as yesterday. This lazy thing sleeps most time of the day. I tried to take him jogging, but after five minutes he just stood there and looked at me with his puppy eyes until I had picked him up and carried him,” she said but she looked happy. She really loved this dog and I was glad she wasn’t alone at home – even if it was just a dog. I would prefer it was me she was staying with but she made her mind clear the day I had bought the house – and the day after, and the day after that…

We talked a bit about our dogs and I took a look at my watch. Time for the dinner I thought and heard Kim’s stomach yelling for food. I chuckled and she blushed.
“Hey, I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I’m fuckin’ starving,” she said and I chuckled even more.
Actually it took the waiter thirty more minutes until he brought the food. There your tips went, asshole, I thought. And as it wasn’t enough the food was cold. But the woman was so hungry she didn’t thought about letting the food go and ate it cold.

“What about goin’ to the movies?” I asked when we had finished. “It’s still pretty early.”
“Sure, but I’ll get the movie,” she said with a grin on her face. I shrugged with my shoulders and headed towards the bar to pay. I didn’t give any tip for the guy who stared at my girl like she was some fresh meat. I went back to our table and asked if she was ready to go.

She saw the waiter looking in our direction and took my hand as we left the restaurant. Before I stepped through the door I looked back with a big grin on my face. Saw that, loser?
I drove down to the cinema and when she saw the poster she decided that we would watch ‘Bad Teacher’. It would be all the same so I just paid the tickets and when we stood at the food bar and I took out my wallet she looked confused. “I’m goin’ to pay it. You already paid
the food and the tickets.”

“No, it’s okay. I asked you out and I’ll pay.” No way she was going to pay on a date with me. I may not be a real gentleman all the time, but when I ask a girl out I’ll make sure she feels comfortable and my mother raised me that a guy had to pay.
Her eyebrow was still raised but she didn’t say anything and took the tacos and the drink and headed for the right cinema hall. We sat down in the last row and she ate like she
hadn’t eaten something in a week.

“Save one for me,” I said and grabbed for a taco and sopped it into the cheese sauce.
“Hey, get your own,” she said playfully and I quickly put the potato chip in my mouth. “Thanks for the sauce on my shirt,” I heard her say and as the light wasn’t out I couldn’t see I had hit her blouse. FUCK! “I take it,” I said with a light smile on my lips and as she laughed I hoped she wasn’t mad at me.

“Save it for later,” she said and I was glad the light went out so she couldn’t see the big grin on my face. My mental cinema was getting crazy. I had to focus on the screen. It was crowded in here and then a real tall man came and took the place right in front of me. Why did I have to be the one who is so small? Really I’m the only one in my family who’s less than 5’ 7’’.

This movie was so stupid! It was so unfunny and I started to get bored. I wished we had picked a horror movie. I love them and I knew Kim wasn’t really into them. But that shouldn’t be a problem the last time we found something to entertain us. As I remembered the night my pants were getting tight. God damn, I have to get laid sometime soon! My thoughts were dominated by sex.
“Oh come on, it isn’t so bad,” she said after a while. “See, she almost jumps there naked,” she said and pointed at the screen where Cameron Diaz washed the cars in a dirty way. I hadn’t even noticed it.

“If you did it I would be more impressed,” I said and almost slapped my face. I haven’t had said that out loud, had I?
“If you wash my car in boxers it’s a deal,” she said and held out her hand.
“Deal,” I said and accepted. Maybe there would be more than that for me, I thought and actually watched the movie with more interest.
Actually there wasn’t more for me and after the movies I just didn’t want her to get home. I saw a little ice cream parlor which had open. “Ice cream?” I asked. I knew she wouldn’t refuse it. We headed to the little shop and left it with an ice cream corn in our hands.
We walked down the way to the park without saying a word. “So, can I ask you something?” she broke the silence.

“Sure,” I said.
“Is this supposed to be a date?”
Okay, what should I say? This should be a date, but if I had to admit it first, it wasn’t clear from the outside. And what if she just wanted to be friends? And... “Actually it should be one, but it’s the lousiest one someone could get!” I said before my mind could tell me I was stupid for speaking before collecting my thoughts.

“Why do you think that?” She had sat down on a bench and I sat next to her with some space between us.
“Let me think about this,” I said caustic before I enumerated. “First of all you didn’t know it was a date, the restaurant was too crowded and the waiter undressed you with his eyes while I couldn’t find a nice topic to talk to you, it took ages until the food arrived and then it was cold, you’ve sauce on your shirt and you think I’m a pervert ‘cause I had to stare at your décolleté the whole time and… isn’t that enough?”
It took a few seconds before she answered and I was scared I had put her off.

“Actually I thought it was some kind of cute. It was nice to go out with you and I planned on washing this shirt anyway,” she laughed a little. “And I’m looking forward to that day when you’ll wash my car. So don’t be so mad at yourself. I enjoyed the evening, really,” she said. And then her face was right in front of mine and I could finally feel the cold metal on my lips. I was so shocked my eyes were open when her lips gently touched mine. All too fast she was away again and I missed the feeling of her lips, which were cold from the ice cream.
“I would really like to go on a date with you again, but … I would only do it, if the guys are cool with it. You know the last time Matt didn’t agree and I don’t want to piss them off or do something behind their backs.”

That’s it. We won’t go out on a date again! “Don’t look like someone died. I’ll ask them tomorrow. It’s just that I’ll let them know that… you know... the dating thing,” she said and I was absolutely sure that Matt would freak out again. “You’ll drive me home?” she asked and so we walked back to my car. We drove in silence until we reached her apartment building.
“Thanks for the nice evening. Think I’ll see you tomorrow in the studio?” she said and kissed my cheek before she was outside of my car and walked towards the house. I sat immovable in my car and watched as I could see her illuminated apartment through the window.

Seward, you behave like a stalker! I averted my gaze and drove away. I stopped at a little shop and bought a bottle of Jack before driving home.
I sat down on my big couch and took the phone from my table. I dialed the number and hoped Matt wouldn’t pick up.
“Sanders,” I heard Val’s voice.
“You’re alone?” I asked.

“That sounds like you want some dirty talk and I really hope that’s not the reason for your call.”
“No, it’s not. I needed to talk to you.”
“You’ve asked her out?” She sounded really excited.
“Yes.”
“Don’t let me get a straight answer from you like squeezing blood out of a stone,” she complained.
“Okay, I had asked her out. And you know, everything went completely wrong,” I started my story. She didn’t interrupt me and waited till I had finished.

“Well... When I told you what you could do I thought you would pick one of them. Maybe you pushed it a bit too far, but seemed like she likes you. So, you’ll tell Matt tomorrow?”
“Think I have to, but I’m not looking forward to. You know Matt is one of my best friends but... I know he will be really pissed when he knows I asked her out.”
“Now you act like he’s some heartless monster,” she said. “I’m going to bed now ‘cause it’s pretty late. Don’t worry, things will sort themselves out! You can be sure I would be really happy for you.”

“Night Val and thanks,” I said.
“You’re welcome. And Johnny?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t get wasted tonight,” she said and I looked at the bottle on my table.
“I won’t,” I said and hung up. I put the phone on the table and grabbed the bottle.

-x-

I woke up on my couch. Actually I had cleared some of the bottles and went to sleep right here. I put my feet on the wooden floor and suddenly my sock was wet. I looked down and guessed I had slept a little too long for my little friends bladder. I cleaned the floor and then I went to the shower and cleaned myself. I put a ton of hairspray into my Mohawk so it was right on his place. I knew Kim liked it this way. When I opened the door from my closet there wasn’t much selection. I had to do the laundry soon because there was just a really old striped sweater. But I had to wear something so I took it and went downstairs to get something for breakfast. In my freezer was yawning void. I took a sip from the milk carton and ate a piece of cold pizza. Actually I didn’t know how long it lay there and I really didn’t want to know!

My watch told me it was time to go and so I stood in front of the studio ‘bout twenty minutes later. I wanted to smoke a cigarette before entering the room but realized soon I forgot them at home.
“Need one?” I heard Brian say and took one of his cigarettes.
“Thanks,” I said after lightening it. The smoke filled my lungs and I stood there in silent until Brian got inside as he finished his one. I saw Kim walking towards me with a big grin on her face and Napoleon at her side.

“Good Morning. You had a nice night?” she asked when she stood next to me.
“It had been better if you had stayed at my place,” I said and she blushed a little. It was kinda cute, because it was rarely to see her blush. I was about to take the last drag as she snapped it and took it herself. I had to admit it was kind of sexy when she smokes, but I would prefer if she wouldn’t do it.

“You coming?” she asked and thrown the stem away. I followed her inside and as I saw the others were there.
We started practicing until Matt told us to stop. “What’s wrong today, Kay? Johnny actually didn’t get a right accord but we’re accustomed a perfect play from you,” he said.
“There’s something on my mind that I would like to tell you,” she started and I began to sweat. Not only ‘cause I was wearing a sweater but I was sure Matt would beat the shit out of me if he knew about last night.

“Hit me,” he said and I could see her swallow.
“I was on a date last night and it convey a great deal to me if you would support me.”
“So who’s the guy you were with?” Zach asked.
This was my time to tell them. “Me,” I said and earned some skeptical gazes.
“Well this isn’t the time for some April fools,” Matt finally said and cracked a smile.
“This isn’t a gag. I asked her out and when I drove her home she told me she would only date me another time, when you guys would tell her it would be okay for you.”

“We talked about it, didn’t we?” Matt said and I had bet he just started one of his speeches.
“But this time it’s something different. It’s not a fake, this is something important for me… and I hope for her too.” I looked at her direction and saw her nodding. “So just tell her it’s fucking okay for you and everything will be fine.”
“What if it doesn’t work out? What will be with the band?” I just rolled my eyes but before I could answer Matt’s question Kim answered it.

“Matt, I know why you’re worried, but we’re old enough to handle this. And if it doesn’t work out I think we can be in the same band anymore. We’re not thirteen or something like that.”
“If it’s what you want and if you promise it wouldn’t harm the band it’s okay for me,” Brian said.
“Sure and by the way you two actually act like you’re in a relationship,” Zacky said with a smile on his lips. He didn’t seem surprised at all. I looked at Matt who sighed and then nodded.

I put my bass in the corner took some steps towards Kim, fell down on my knees and took her hand in mine. “Kimberley I-don’t-know-your-second-name Aldrin, would you like to go on a second date with me?” I asked her and heard something like ‘wondering why she should date him’ from someone in the room.