I Walk This Road Alone.

I see myself there, waiting by the roadside. I've been here for around four hours now, waiting, for anything anyone. It's around two in the morning, it's raining, cold and I'm pregnant. This wasn't the type of weather for me, I didn't even bring a sweater. I was left with nothing but a black bag and the attire I stand in. I should have at least brought a hoodie. It's shocking to know that despite me being here on my own, my best friends are famous. They were Asking Alexandria and I had been their merch girl. My boyfriend, well I guess we could say he was a former boyfriend now, wanted me to come home. I was willing to give anything up for Dakota, I loved him with all my heart. The only thing I wasn't willing to give up was the baby inside of me. He wanted me to get an abortion, not because he didn't like kids, because it wasn't his kid. It was Danny Worsnop's. Crazy, huh? I'm sure you're just dying to hear this one. Well, since I was the merch girl for his band, I got really close to the boys. Sam was my best friend, along with Ben and I had a massive crush on Danny. I even slept on the bus with them, weird I know, but I didn't mind it one bit. Me being really good friends with them meant that I was also dragged into the parties that they attended. That night I had gotten really shit faced and had just been looking for trouble. This guy, I can't remember his name or his face, but he was all over me. I didn't like it one bit, I asked him to stop numerous times, but he just wouldn't listen. That's when Danny stepped in, he got the guy to back off, he also got us kicked out of the party.

"Sorry about the party." I shrugged sitting on the curb.

"It's fine Danny, it was getting lame anyway." He sat next to me.

"I guess."

"Thank you for helping me with that guy, I really didn't know what to do." He smiled at me.

"I got your back Gabs, you have nothing to worry about with me."

I smiled and tried not to blush. His face was slowly getting closer to mine and when it was only centimeters away, he kissed me. That kiss deepened into a make-out session, then we knew we wanted more. We headed back to the bus and had sex. About a week later around the time I was supposed to have my period, I didn't. I waited four more weeks and then I panicked. I couldn't remembered if Danny wore protection or not, taking in the fact that we were both trashed I highly doubt it, I wasn't on birth control either. I took about seven pregnancy tests, they all read positive. I told everyone but Danny, I didn't want him to know. Everyone agreed to keep it a secret. My mom always told me I knew how to pick them and she was right. This was only my second day back and I wish I would've stayed with the boys. Maybe Danny would've understood, no, he probably wouldn't have wanted me to keep it. In all reality he probably would have had a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a groupie in the other. But I'm sure today would've been ten times better with the boys than with Dakota.

Earlier today Dakota had told me he had some surprise for me. Since we've been dating for almost five years now, I thought maybe he'd pop the question, but I was completely wrong. He told me I needed to pack a small bag and leave anything valuable at home. Me being the dumb-ass I am, I left my keys, cellphone, pepper spray, and my iPod. I mean, I could have been at least standing in the cold rain listening to something good rather than just the rain pelting the ground. Once we had hopped in Dakota's car he drove for what seemed like forever. He didn't talk much during the car ride, which didn't bother me too much. The only thing that did bother me was the fact that we were in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night while it was raining. He slammed on the brake, making the car come to a halt. This couldn't be good. He put on the hazard lights and turned to me.

"Gabi, I know you're pregnant and everything but, I just can't be with you." I was shocked, this is what all of this was about?

"This is what everything is about? I thought you were actually going to man up and propose or something." He scrunched up his face in disgust, this hurt, really bad.

"No, not with you getting knocked up by other guys." Just a target on my temple and a hole in my head.

"It was one guy, I told you it would never happen again."

"I'm sure."

"Why did we have to talk in the middle of nowhere?"

"Because I'm leaving you."

"In the middle of nowhere?" He nodded almost like he was happy about it.

"But why?"

"I know if I asked you to leave, you wouldn't. At least I was nice enough to let you pack a bag, but nothing valuable. I want you to suffer, it's what you deserve for cheating on me." He tried not to laugh and I tried not to beat the shit out of him. I consumed my anger, hoping my blood pressure wouldn't rise and nothing would happen to the baby.

"Load up your six-shot baby, put it to my head. Pull the trigger, blank I figured."

"Look, all I wanted was for you to do was get an abortion, not that difficult."

"What if your father told your mom to kill you? How would you feel?"

"That's. Not. My. Child."

"I wish that would've happened to you, then I would've ended up with someone a million times better than you."

"Well you wanna know something? I already ended up with someone a million times better than you. Remember Emma? Yeah, I've been her since you've went on tour and I still am." I swallowed hard, he cheated on me? And he's making me leave because I cheated on him once, but he cheated on me for years? Tears started streaming down my face.

"And I thought I loved you. I could never love a jackass like you. I hope you burn in hell and I hope I die while I walk this road alone." It was starting to rain.

"I was thinking the same thing, you're good. Apparently you're so good that you got knocked up. Ya know, maybe you should become a groupie instead of a merch girl." I grabbed my bag from under my seat and got out of the car. Before I shut the door, I looked at him. I was soaked instantly.

"After all these years, it's hard to believe that I stand here as nothing to you." He grinned.

"Wind me up and watch me go." He leaned across the car and pulled the door shut, speeding away.

And that leads us back to now. The coldness didn't bother me too much anymore, I had pretty much gotten used to it. Surprisingly there weren't really many cars out, well, it was four in the morning. I was praying that any car would pick me up, drive me somewhere safe or kill me. I didn't care about my life anymore, I just wanted a one way ticket to a new one. Every car that did drive by passed me and probably didn't see me. I sat on my bag as another car came around the corner. They pulled up next to me and then drove away. This was never going to end and I sure couldn't walk back home, that was too far. I didn't really have a home, I at least needed to make it to a pay phone. I hadn't eaten for about twelve hours and I was starting to get hungry. I was just happy I wasn't puking my guts out like every other pregnant woman. I stared up at the sky and screamed, "Lay your guns down, let me die!" That's what I truly wanted at this point. My watch told me it was a quarter till five. Maybe a little sleep wouldn't hurt me. I got off my bag and laid down, resting my head on my bag as a pillow. I was hoping soon I'd wake up from this nightmare.

I woke up and I was back on tour with everyone, but I wasn't pregnant anymore. Ben walked over to me and kissed me as I got out of my bunk.

"Hey baby."

"Umm, Ben, are you drunk?"

"No silly, it's 10 in the morning, why would I be drinking?" Since when was I dating Ben? Danny walked in the door and over to where we were standing.

"Hey little sis, what's up?" DANNY WAS MY BROTHER?!? I FUCKED MY BROTHER?!? What the bloody hell was going on? I walked to the back of the bus, James was playing xbox. He looked up and looked like he was super pissed.

"James? What's wrong?" He stood up.

"You. You're a no good cheating slut, it's no wonder Dakota didn't want you anymore. you got knocked up by your own brother." Danny, Ben, Sam and Cameron all gathered around me in a circle. James pushed me to Danny, Danny pushed me to Sam and they all took turns. They mumbled the words, "Whore, slut and cheater." Why was this happening?

I awoke to someone shaking me, the sun had finally started to come up but it was still raining. I looked to see who was shaking me, it was Danny. My eyes almost popped out of my head and I jumped up to hug him.

"Danny! I missed you!"

"I missed you too Gabi." He pulled away. "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant? With my kid."

"I-I was scared that you'd want me to get rid of it. I knew I wouldn't do that and I thought you'd just get a girlfriend or sleep with someone else." I looked down.

"Why would you think that baby girl?" He lifted my chin up with his index finger.

"Because you constantly have a girl and, I dunno." He looked upset.

"Why are you out here?" Tears started falling down my face again.

"Dakota said I w-was a whore and he d-didn't want me anymore because I didn't want to get an a-abortion." Danny looked pissed.

"Oh, the next time I see him he's in for it." I smiled up at him, he made me feel safe. He leaned down to kiss me. "I love you Gabi, will you come back on tour with us? I wanna be with you, and only you." Was this really happening to me?

"I love you too, Danny and yes, I'll come back on tour." He had the biggest smile on his face. He picked up my bag and pulled me up. He held my hand back to the car and I looked up at the sky as a 'thank you'. Everything was perfect now and it was great.

That's when a car horn awoke me. Fuck my life, I had a dream in a dream. I was still living this nightmare. How much longer was this hell going to last? I was hoping it'd end soon, but I doubt it would. Why could a fucking car drive by and honk their horn but they can't help a pregnant fucking woman? People these days. I wish I had something sharp, so I could just end this. I was pretty sure I had packed all clothes and nothing more. I looked through the bag, emptying everything on the side of the road. I found one of those sharp nail files, perfect. Scars don't heal when you keep cutting. Blood was starting to stain my pink shirt, when an all too familiar car pulled up, it was a rental car. When it had finally came to a stop, five boys got out.