Love Is Hard

*16 years old.*

"Ava, I'm sick," I heard Dylan say. I couldn't believe what I heard.

"Are you going to be ok?" He shook his head.

That was the last time I saw Dylan normal without his treatments and he would be home twice a week until towards the end. I didn't want to think about the end.

*Two Months Later*

I looked at the test. I was pregnant. I had to tell Dylan. We were having a baby. We were having a child together. I went to the hospital and saw him, he looked so lifeless and helpless, I wish I could do something for him.

*Four Months Later*

Today was Dylan's funeral. I only heard I'm sorry about 400 times and I didn't want to hear it anymore. After the funeral I went to the field across from the cemetery I laid in the field like me and Dylan had many times as it came to the past year. He kept saying, "You better visit."

I kept telling him to stop thinking that way. I didn't want to think about him being gone and now that he was gone I couldn't even accept it.

*Three Months Later*

It was early in the morning. I felt a pain rush through me. I was going into labor.

It was June 17,2011. I was going into labor. I called my dad and he rushed me to the hospital. At 9:15 in the morning I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, Aliah Delaney Jansen. That was the day my life changed.

*One Year Later*

Ali made the first year rough, going to bed at 7 waking up at 2 and then again at 3 and then 6 and then sleep at 11 until 3. Then the same routine over and over again.

I tried to keep her awake during the day but she would fuss and wouldn't stop screaming and crying. I couldn't deal with her screams and her cries. I needed help.

*One Month Later*

I saw my mom's car pull up in the driveway. I ran to her. My father had died. Freak accident, just died in his sleep. I found him in his room. My mom came from LA to come to the funeral. I was moving out there in a little apartment not far from my mom.

Today was the funeral and I heard all those sorry's again. I didn't want to hear sorry, I know they are sorry but why is it that EVERYONE has to be sorry!

*One Year Later*
*June 15, 2013*

Ali's birthday was in a few days. I told her we could go get a cake for her birthday. So we went to the cake bakery down the street to order it.

As we walked Ali ran ahead of me and turned the corner and I tried to catch up to her but I didn't see her. She could have went anywhere.

I looked to the right and she wasn't there but she wasn't to the left either. I was so worried. I didn't want to lose her too.

Then I saw her. She was in someone's arms. He was walking towards me. It was Justin Bieber. I recognized him from E! and every other channel talking about what he's doing next. Also because Ali like loves his music.

"Is she yours?" he asked. I nodded. He put her down and I picked her up.

"Don't you remember what I said, No running off. Look what you did you ran off. You can't do that something could happen." She looked like she was going to say something, "What Ali?"

"But it's Justin Bieber mommy." I smiled and laughed.

He started to talk, "Well if you don't mind I would like to take you both out for lunch or something," he suggested. I decided why not. Ali would get to see him and get an autograph and whatever and it would be a good birthday gift.

"Sure, why not? But we have to go order a cake for someone's birthday. You can come if you want?" I said unsure of what he would say.

"Ok." I started to walk, carrying Ali and Justin was right next to me.

We got to the bakery and ordered a simple chocolate cake in the shape of a balloon, a purple balloon.

We went to Chili's for lunch. Justin and I sat across from each other. To start a conversation he asked me the question I got asked a lot, "How old are you?"

I replied, "20, and before you say anything about Ali," I paused, I looked at her. Coloring away. She was bouncing her legs up and down. She was so cute. Then I continued, "I had her at 18. I had her with the guy I thought I would have forever. But he got sick. I got pregnant about months before he died. She's a gift to me and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"If you don't mind me asking, what did he have?" I nodded my head, "Leukemia," I started to shake, I never talked about Dylan and when I did it wasn't to guys. I haven't dated since Dylan died. In fact I haven't even tried. This was the longest I have been with a guy since Dylan.

Ali started saying, "Mommy," over and over again. But I was talking so I kept telling her to be quiet.

"Mommy," she said, so then I was mad, "Aliah Delaney Jansen, I said be quiet."

She started to cry. I took her out of the booster seat and tried to pick her up but she wouldn't let me.

I looked at Justin, "I'm sorry, she really never acts like this."

He nodded, "It's ok, I have a little sister and brother, they were just like this when they were her age." He went to pick her up and walk around. I sat back down and just let him do what he was doing. When they came back she was laughing.

"What did you do?" I asked him.

"I really have no idea. Maybe she just wants someone in her life to act like a father."

"Woah, what do you mean?" I asked. He laughed, "Oh not me, but someone, anyone really." I nodded agreeing maybe. Maybe she did want someone to be a father in her life. I missed Dylan too much, I couldn't replace him.

The rest of the day was spent with Justin and we exchanged numbers and he said he might make an appearance at Ali's party if he was invited. I laughed. It was a good day.