Love Is Hard

The day was spent with Aliah and Justin. Watching cartoons, trying to make Aliah realize being in the hospital wasn't so bad. She still wasn't feeling well and Justin was keeping me from crying in front of her.

That night I said goodbye to her. Justin was driving me home again and I was tired.

"Bye, Ali baby, see you tomorrow ok? I love you," she smiled, "Love you mommy," I hugged her and left. The nurse in the hallway waved at me and I waved back. We went to Justin's car and I broke down. "Justin, what if something is really wrong?" He held my hand and I squeezed it tight.

"Ava, she is going to be fine, if she is like you she is strong, she will be ok." I let the tears fall down my face.

"Ava I promise I will be with you until you know what's wrong with her. If something is wrong." He tried to stay positive, I knew it was hard for him to, I mean I brought him into a crazy life, I'm 20 and have a daughter, he didn't need to even be my friend. But he was, he was being my friend when I needed a friend the most.

I let myself stop crying, "Justin, go home tonight, please. Just go home, I'll be fine, I'll go to the hospital tomorrow by myself, you aren't obligated to come or to stay," I said sternly.

"I want to come, I may not be obligated but I want to, I have nothing to do anyways," he rebutted at me. "Justin you have friends, a career, and a life to go to, Aliah is my only job she will only ever be my only job. I have nothing or anyone else in my life, please, just don't come." I said so rudely, I didn't even mean to be mean.

He looked at me with a face I wouldn't forget. We stopped at a light and he was going to say something but didn't. He turned away and looked at the light and the traffic.

He turned to me again and started to speak,"You know Ava, I started to like you. I love your daughter, she may not be mine, but since I met her I never did anything wrong. Last night at our coffee date I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend. I know it's stupid but you won't let me in, you won't let me into your life. I don't know if you are scared or something, but just let me in. Let me know what's on your mind. Please." I could tell I hurt him, heck I hurt myself.

I heard honking and Justin turned and realized the light had turned green. He drove off and I didn't speak. Five minutes later he dropped me off at my apartment. He didn't get out to open the door for me but instead he just unlocked the door and let me go myself.

Once I was out of the car he drove away quickly. Not even enough time for me to even walk to the steps of the apartment building.

I hurt him, why couldn't I just say something to him? Tell him I liked him too. I just decided to text him.

Justin, I'm sorry. It's hard for me to let people in. I want to let you in, I do. Please if you even care come to the hospital tomorrow.

No reply. First off he was driving so I knew he wouldn't reply but he wouldn't want to anyways. I was probably never going to hear from him again, and if he had asked me out well I would've said yes. But who knows if that chance would ever happen again?

The next day I woke up early so I could drive to my mom's house to meet up with her, she was going to be there with me when the doctors were going to tell me what was wrong with Aliah.

I checked my phone no new messages. Figures. I knew he wasn't going to try to contact me. I took a quick shower, straightened my hair and put my clothes on. I slipped on my hat sitting on the end table in my room. I looked ok. I didn't put any makeup on.

Once I was at my moms I saw her come out the front door. She was coming in the car with me so I just unlocked the door and let her come in.

"Hello honey," I smiled back, "Hi mom," I turned the radio up a little and listened to the radio guy talk about whatever he was talking about. My mom didn't really strike up a conversation with me so it was quiet.

The ride got done quickly and we arrived. I rushed to get in to see my daughter. I wanted to see her.

When we got to floor 5 I practically rushed in front of my mom to get to her room. I opened up the door and she was fast asleep, it wasn't like her to be sleeping. Then a nurse came in behind talking to my mom. "Why is she sleeping?" I asked, not worried just wondering.

"We gave her some medication, the doctor is going to come talk to you, there's nothing to worry about," I sighed as the nurse finished and walked off.

I sat in the chair next to Aliah and my mom sat in the one in the corner of the room. I heard a light knock at the door and saw it crack open. Then it fully opened and Justin was standing there.

"Hey," I said, then he started, "Hey can we talk?" I nodded and went out in the hallway with him.

"What did you want Justin?" I asked, "I came to apologize, I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry. I know you didn't want to hear something like that and I got your message so I know you weren't that hurt by it but still, I'm sorry." I looked into his eyes, he was so serious. "Justin I shouldn't have come to conclusions, you can make decisions for yourself." He smiled and I did too.

"So now I have a question." I looked at him, "Do you want to be my girlfriend? Just picture us drinking coffee and being there with no people around us rather than at the hospital." I laughed, he was funny,"Yes Justin, I want to be your girlfriend. But first I have to tell you my entire story. But not today, not until I know what's wrong with Aliah." He smiled, "That's ok. It's a step in the right direction." I smiled and he put out his hand and I placed mine in his.

We walked back in the room and waited for the doctor. It felt like hours passed before he came but it turned out only to be like a half hour.

"Ava, Aliah is fine, she has the stomach flu, she has been dehydrated and we just have to get the liquids in her at a moderation but quickly." I listened intently to the doctor talking. "You can take her home later this afternoon as long as she starts eating and drinking," She handed me a paper, "for the next few days I recommend she only eat those few items until she isn't puking and doesn't have diarrhea, and water, lots of water, gatorade too. No milk. She has to stay hydrated. If she is in pain give her some children's medication. If it gets worse come back."

I took the list in my hand and read it: Bananas, toast, white rice, crackers, oatmeal, applesauce, and things like that. Food I knew Aliah probably wouldn't eat. I looked back up at the doctor, "Thank you," Then she walked away and out the door, I looked at Justin and smiled, "I told you it wouldn't be that bad." He said, "I know but she's my daughter, I only was thinking the worst." He smiled and kissed my forehead. Aliah was ok.