Love Is Hard

When I woke up after making myself fall back asleep that night, I rushed to get ready and to get Aliah ready. I had to bring her over to my mom's around 10 because Justin was coming around 11 to get me for lunch. When I got to my moms I acted like nothing was wrong with me and her for Aliah but I could tell by her face that she wasn't happy with me.

I went back home and got ready. I straightened my hair and put on a cute outfit. I waited to get the text from Justin that he was here. I was trying not to be nervous. But I was shaking on the inside. Then I heard my phone beep.

I'm here.

I didn't text back so I just went down the stairs after locking the door. When I saw his car parked at the front I ran over to it and opened the door.

"Since when did you have to dress nicely?" He asked me and I shrugged my shoulders,"I have to impress your mom, Justin. This is my first time meeting her. I want to look nice." I got into the passenger seat and closed the door. He started to drive.

"She will be impressed whether you look nice or not. Do you always wear jeans?" I nodded.

"First of all I just want to look good, not for just your mom but for you too and yeah jeans are comfortable. I really don't like my legs." The one thing I was self conscious about was my legs.

I turned on the radio, just to have background noise and then I told Justin about Bailey. "So my best friend Bailey is coming in 2 weeks to visit me. I'm excited for you to meet her. She is so nice and she is a lot of fun." Then I shook my head, remembering the dream I had last night. I kept my eyes closed and tried to not let tears out. I was rushing, Justin was meeting my best friend, I was meeting his mom. We had only been dating like 2 weeks. But I knew it would be ok. Everything was going to be ok.

I opened my eyes again and we were stopped, Justin was staring at me, "Are you ok?" I nodded, "I was just thinking, that's all nothing really, don't worry I'm fine, really." I smiled at him. He got out of the car and came to rush over and open the door for me before I could open it.

He took my hand and I stepped out of the car carefully. He held my hand when I got out of the car and he locked it up putting his keys in his pockets. "My mom is probably already here, she was really excited to meet you, you know?" I smiled, "She was?" He nodded.

As we walked into the restaurant Justin saw his mom so he just kept walking with me still holding his hand. When we walked up to the table my hand started to sweat and Justin looked at me and laughed. I pulled my hand from his and wiped it on my jeans. He started to giggle at me. "Stop, I'm nervous." Then we got to the table and he hugged his mom. I always knew he had a good relationship with her. But when I sat down and listened to them talk I knew he told her basically everything.

"So Ava, Justin told me you have a 3 year old daughter," I nodded as she said the words I knew were going to be mentioned, "Yeah, she's my life, everything I do is for her and I just want her to have a normal life and have little things in life that I really didn't get. But we lost her dad before she was even born," Pattie looked at me, "Oh, from what?" Justin glared at her, the tears started in my eyes, "Justin it's ok," he eased and I continued, "He had leukemia, it was bad, but I made him feel happy until the end, we got married, I got pregnant, he was excited, I made him happy. He made me happy." The tears were streaming down my face and I stood up, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be crying." Justin was standing up too but I ran to the bathroom before he could stop me.

I looked in the mirror. My mascara and eyeliner was all down my face and I tried to take it off but it wasn't working. I heard the bathroom door open it was Pattie. "Here let me help you," she started and I started to speak,"I'm sorry for crying, it's just I miss him a lot and I know I shouldn't cry because it's been 3 years and now with Justin," she interrupted,"Ava, it's ok to miss him, really I'm sure Justin understands," She stopped speaking and stopped wiping my face. "All better, Ava please realize that missing him is ok, crying is ok," She hugged me and I hugged back.

My mom had never said things like this to me. She was always so mean about it, he's gone don't you see, he can never be in your life again. When I was ready to go back out to Justin and eat lunch Pattie came with me.

I sat down and I looked at Justin, he looked upset. "Justin are you ok?" He nodded and looked at me. He kissed my forehead and spoke,"I don't like seeing you upset." He was lying I could tell and when I looked at Pattie I could tell she noticed he was lying too.

I shook it off and when the waitress came around I ordered the chicken. I was finally better and Pattie began to speak again.

"So how is it raising her alone?" Justin spoke, "Mom stop asking questions." I looked at him, "Justin really I'm fine, ok, you need to calm down now," I said confused and mad at him.

"It's a lot of hard work, she needs my attention and she's just a little 3 year old girl. It's hard trying to raise her alone," Pattie nodded, "Justin was the same way, he was always getting into trouble and being 17 and a single mother wasn't easy. I'm sure for anyone its the same way, but if you are ever in trouble or need help there are always parents there to help," she said it so peacefully, saying its ok to go to your parents when you need help it made me feel better about leaving Ali with my mom.

Lunch was fun and soon we were saying goodbye. I hugged Pattie. Justin hugged her too and he didn't take my hand when we left I just followed him. He didn't open the door to his car for me like he had every other time. Why was he in such a bad mood? Once we got in the car and he started driving I spoke up.

"Justin, why did you lie? Why are you in a bad mood?" He didn't speak right away, I waited then he started, "I just don't like when my mom gets in people's business, especially when she made you cry." I stopped him, "She didn't make me cry, I was crying because I was sad, you should get your story straight before you assume things. Your mom was nice to me today, you were rude to me. Just bring me home and leave." I said mad.

"Ava," he started, I didn't listen. I was mad. I felt my phone vibrate and I answered it. It was David. Why was he calling? I answered it.

"David? What do you need?" He started to speak, "Jess wants to talk to you," I didn't have time to say anything before I could hear the phone being handed over. "Ava, we are having a boy and a girl." I smiled. "Congratulations Jess. When are you due? I want to be there." She answered me, "Oh uhm about that we are going to be in California when I am due. We are coming to stay for a couple months." I smiled. "Why?"

"I want to be there, after our little visit I realized I missed you guys too much. We are renting a little house out there for about 3 months. We are going to be leaving in like a month. I am so excited. We are going to be there when the twins are born." I smiled. My sister was happy I wanted to be this happy one day. She was only 26 but she had her life already planned. A good job, a wonderful husband and a family. A big family. After we said our goodbyes I realized Justin was still driving.

We were past my house and past his. I didn't know where we were going. "Justin where are we going?" I asked so confused. "I'm sorry ok, I want to bring you somewhere, you have the rest of the day/night, why would you want to spend it alone in your apartment." He was right. This was a night off from being a mother and being a fun person again. I let him drive to where he was going and I just relaxed in the passenger seat.