Love Is Hard

As Bailey began to unpack her things in the guest room she announced some news to me I wouldn't forget.

"Do you think I could stay for a couple months? I am going to transfer to college out here but I can't move into the apartment until it's closer to when school starts." I was confused, school started in like 3 weeks,"Doesn't school start in 3 weeks?" She nodded,"Well yeah, but maybe I could just stay here for a while to get used to Cali and since you're my best friend, I figured I could stay for a little bit longer," I looked at her, something was wrong I could tell by the way she was talking that she wasn't telling the entire story.

"What's going on?" I asked trying to figure out what was wrong,"Promise you won't tell?" She asked,"What are we in high school again? I promise but what is it?" She looked at me and started to speak,"The real reason I came out here was to get away before my parents came home, I did transfer here from Maryland but only because I knew you were out here and I told my parents you were out here and well I didn't tell Levi I was because, because I'm pregnant." I looked at her and I was going to be like what the hell? But since I am her best friend I decided to keep calm.

"You didn't tell him or anyone?" She shook her head,"You are the first person to know, I feel bad about not telling anyone but I can't do it, I see you with Ali and I can't do it. You are supposed to have her you know? But I can't tell Levi or my parents. My parents will hate me and Levi doesn't even want kids." I looked at her confused,"What are you going to do then?" She stated the one thing I was thinking,"Adoption," I was trying not to look sad but I just wasn't happy with her.

She should keep the baby. Tell her parents and work everything out with Levi. If I knew one thing that baby was going to be missed one day. I couldn't let her just let the baby go. She would regret it.

"Bailey, don't," I was going to stop her from making the wrong choice, "Talk to Levi, maybe he thinks differently. Maybe he wasn't planning on having kids but it worked out that way. You can't just not tell your mom and dad," She interrupted,"Ava, I made my decision," I stopped her,"No we aren't little kids anymore, this is your own child that you want to just give away. Maybe you don't want the baby, but in 5 years, then what? How are you going to live with the regret of making a bad decision."

I wasn't trying to push it but maybe that's how it was coming off,"Please don't think I would hate you, but thats a big decision. You haven't even talked to Levi about it. Don't you think you should? Call him, have him come out here. Something." She nodded her head,"I will call him later."

She looked upset, she spoke softly and I wasn't going to push it. She came and hugged me. I hugged her back,"Whatever you end up doing please know I will always be your best friend."

She didn't speak and it felt like something made us come closer. That day we spent watching movies. It was a good day spent with my best friend. That night when Bailey was already in bed because she was tired it was around 8, when I decided to call my mom to say goodnight to Ali.

"Ava, someone has been waiting to say goodnight." My mom said answering, there was no hello or hi when she answered. I laughed.

"Mommy," I heard her voice and smiled.

"Aliah, did you have fun with nana today?"

"Yeah we eat ice cream and went to zoo. It was fun." I smiled, she was so cute.

"You did? Were you good for nana?" I asked, "Yes I was." I laughed. "Goodnight Ali, love you, I will be there tomorrow to get you and we are going to be with Bailey ok?" I told her.

"Ok, goodnight mommy love you," I said it once more, "Love you too."

I hung up the phone and decided to go to my room and I walked by the guest room. I heard Bailey talking. "Please I just need to see you,come out here, Ava said you could come out here, I just want to see you," She was at least calling him and thats really all that mattered.

I went to my room and plugged my phone into the charger. I contemplated everything that had happened today. I was going to let Bailey live in my apartment until the baby was born. I was confused and tired as I went to lay down I heard my phone beep. I looked at the text.

Tomorrow do you and Bailey want to do something with me and Ryan? Justin was so dumb.

Uh sure. What?

Do we have to do something can't we just like go out to like lunch or something? Will Aliah be with you?

Most likely, she will be. We can go out to lunch or something I was mocking him but he was ok with it.

Haha very funny.

Justin, I will text you tomorrow after I get Ali ok? I'm tired.

I waited for him to text back before putting my phone down.

Goodnight Ava. Have good dreams about me. I rolled my eyes at his obnoxious voice in my head saying that to me. I could hear him say that to me and it was ridiculous.

In the morning I woke up and walked past the guest room, which I guess was now going to be Bailey's room. She must still be sleeping because the door was shut. I walked to the kitchen and made some toaster waffles.

It was weird without Ali here. It was too quiet. While the waffles were in the toaster I turned on the television to cartoons. It felt like Ali was still here. As I ate breakfast watching Spongebob the phone rang. I stood up to go answer it chewing the food in my mouth.

"Hello?" I answered, "Ava, honey when do you want Ali home she wants to come home now." I smiled, "Uhm, in like an half hour?" I shook my head saying that.

"Ok, we will be there in a half hour." I smiled as I hung up the phone. My mom was being so nice with Ali. I'm sure no other mom would watch their granddaughter once a week and have her sleepover and stuff. That would be too much for any other grandparent I think.

I went to finish my waffles and cleaned up after I was done. A few minutes later a person appeared around the corner. It was Bailey. She yawned and sat down in the living room.

"Want breakfast I asked her?" She shook her head. "Bailey you have to eat. Why aren't you hungry?" She shrugged her shoulders. "Bailey come on talk to me." She looked sad and upset.

I went to sit next to her. "He won't come, he doesn't want to see me. I didn't even tell him and he doesn't want to see me what makes me want to keep this baby now?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Because this baby is yours. More yours than his. He doesn't have to carry the baby for 9 months you do. You have to struggle more than him." She smiled.

"I'm only 3 months pregnant. How am I supposed to do this?" She stared at me.

"What being pregnant? Being a mom?" She nodded. "I don't know but the minute I saw her eyes open. I held her for the first time. That's when everything kicked in. Being a single mom isn't easy. But I've learned to love it. I've learned that it's gets easier. It's good to have a good support behind you though. Like parents, who should know!" I exaggerated the last part a little bit too much. When Bailey was about to speak I heard a knock on the door and I yelled come in,"It's my mom, no one can get in the building without a key." She nodded. I ran to the door and there stood my little girl. I hugged her tightly.

I never really appreciated her until more recently when I had let her go for Justin. She hugged back. It was a weak hug but it worked. My mom said goodbye without even saying hi to Bailey but today must be the day she goes with her book club ladies or golf team for lunch or something. I had no idea what goes on in my mothers life.

I picked up Ali and went over to Bailey.

"Ali, this is Bailey she is your godmother and my best friend," She looked at me and smiled. I put her down. She went off to her room and I just let her go.

"She really doesn't like strangers, Sorry Bails," She nodded,"You are such a good mother. You really love her huh?" I nodded, "I don't know what life without her would be like? She is everything to me."

"I remember you made that video with Dylan did you show her yet?" I shook my head. "I haven't even watched it yet. I will cry if I do. I don't want to cry in front of Ali when I show her but I don't want to watch it alone." She hugged me. I hugged her too.

"So Justin and Ryan are going to take us out for lunch today I think. You want to come?" She nodded. "Lunch sounds good."