Love Is Hard

After the whole freak out I ate dinner not talking to anyone but Bailey or Ali. I wasn't happy with mom's decision. I was ready to leave after the whole thing started but Baile calmed me down and Ali was excited to see her nana. But no way in hell was this guy anyone to me or Ali.

He was judging and just having to sit at the same table as him during dinner made it worse. When the night was over I was so happy just to leave. There was no way I was going to let my mom watch Ali unless that Nelson was out of the picture and not there.

I was going to make that clear to her. I was happy just to go home and put on my pj's. Put Ali to bed and be able to tell Justin about my day. I went to my room while Bailey went to bed. She was tired and I couldn't blame her. She had a long day having to deal with the stuff my family starts.

I grabbed my laptop and Justin was on IChat.

I clicked call but he quickly ignored it. Was he on chat with someone else? I texted him.

Why didn't you answer my chat?

20 minutes later when I didn't get a text back I just put away my phone and my laptop and laid down. I fell asleep quickly.

The next morning I woke up to my phone ringing.

I picked it up, not looking. "Hello?"

"Ava, you didn't answer my messages. I was getting worried."

"Justin, I waited for like 15 minutes after I sent you the IChat request. You didn't answer my text. I wasn't going to wait. I'm not."

"I didn't ignore an IChat from you." He said confused. "Well it declined when I sent it so where you on with someone?"

He didn't say anything. Like he was thinking. "Justin?" "Yes I was. But if I knew you were calling me I so would've chatted you." He was lying.

"Stop lying, I know you are."

"Ryan was using my laptop last night. I told him if you chatted me or something to tell me and he never did. I didn't get a text from you either." What?

"Why would Ryan do that?"

"I don't think he would purposely do something like that. He's my best friend. He wouldn't. I mean it's not a big deal anyways. It was only an IChat."

Only an IChat. Is that how it was going to be when he was on tour? Only a video chat. Only one. Soon it was going to be 2 then 5 then 10 and then none. He wasn't going to answer any of them. The fact that he was going to just blow off the situation and not say anything to Ryan made me a little upset.

"Can't you just mention something about it to Ryan?"

"I mean it's not that big of a deal. Right?"

"Yeah sure, whatever Justin."

"Look I have rehearsal all day today. Call you later?"

"Sure."

I hung up. I wasn't mad, I was just a little disappointed. That he wasn't even going to say something to Ryan. I mean I understand he is his best friend and everything but I just don't get that he wouldn't even try to say something about it to him.

When I was out eating breakfast with Ali, Bailey finally came out with a smile on her face.

"What's the smile for?" I asked chewing a pancake. "It smells good," I laughed,"That's why you are smiling?" She shook her head,"No Levi just called me, he is going to come out here." She looked really happy.

"That's good. So you're gonna tell him?" She nodded.

"I have to, the baby is his too. But no matter what he says I am keeping the baby. Speaking of which I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. Please come?" I nodded.

"Of course I will. You went to some of of my appointments. I want to be there for you too." She smiled. "Can I have some pancakes now?" She asked. I nodded laughing.

I didn't tell her about what was going on with Justin. She was so happy and I didn't want to give her something to listen to me complain about or ruin her happiness.

So that day I didn't mention anything about Justin and when 6 rolled around after spending a long day doing all kinds of things with Bailey and Ali. But by 6 I hadn't heard from Justin. He still couldn't have been at rehearsal. So I texted him.

Maybe you're still at rehearsal but I just wanted to say hi

I got a reply.

hi. sorry I was just changing. Can I come over? I want to talk to you.

I looked down at what I was wearing. Crappy clothes. I didn't want to see him like this.

Sure

I went and ran to go change clothes put my hair up into a bun and put on a little mascara.

I walked out into the main area and Bailey saw me. "Where are you going?"

"No where. Justin's coming here. We are talking." She looked at me,"About?" I smiled, "Just talking about everything. Nothing important." I wasn't going to drag her into something unless it became worse after the talk tonight.

"Can you watch Ali? I am gonna go down there we are probably gonna take a walk." She nodded,"No problem," I heard the buzzer and instead of answering it to let him in I walked down to him.

When he saw me he smiled. I smiled too. When I walked out the door he came to me. Trying to hold my hand. But I pulled my hand away.

"Why?" He asked,"Because Justin, I am not happy with you right now. I don't understand how you could possibly not mention anything to Ryan about what happened last night. It may not have been a big deal to you. But what if I had to tell you something important?"

"Well did you?" I shook my head,"That's not the point though." He looked at me,"That's why I came over. Look we have that dinner thing this weekend. I don't want this to be a problem between us. So I asked Ryan. He did it. I was mad ok? I asked him why? He said he missed guy time. That all I ever talk about is you."

He looked upset,"He said you were a problem and that he didn't want me to get too attached to you. He did it because he wanted me to spend more time with him. He really isn't like this I promise. I think things with his girlfriend just aren't working out. So he's taking it out on everyone."

"So? This morning you said it wasn't a big deal Justin. It's a big deal. What if on tour you miss one video chat? Soon it becomes 2,3,7, and then all of them. It's a big deal. I," I was going to say it. I was going to say the words but they didn't come out of my mouth.

"I will miss you too much. I can't do this if you aren't going to try to care."

"Ava, the only reason I am doing this is because I care. I care about you and I care about Ali and I want to be with you. I do, I am trying and the reason I said that this morning is because Ryan is my best friend and I didn't think he could do something like that."

I looked at him. I felt saddened by the entire conversation. I sat down on the step and I felt him sit down next to me.

"Please just know I care, that's why I asked. I care enough to ask my best friend if he tried to keep you away." I leaned on his shoulder and he put his arm around me. I was happy he asked, but something told me our relationship wouldn't last while he was on tour.