Love Is Hard

I woke up around 10 on Saturday. It was quiet, Bailey was watching Aliah out in the other room. They were letting me get my sleep, Bailey said it was ok to do that this morning even though she would probably be more tired than me, being pregnant. But she insisted.

I got up and hopped in the shower. After washing my hair completely I just stood there for an extra minute the water felt so nice. When getting out combed through my hair and dried it. Putting in some product so it would curl easy, I put on sweatpants and a t-shirt because I didn't need to be ready for a couple more hours.

I went out to the living area and heard Aliah talking to Bailey about Justin. She really did like him, heck I really liked him too.

"He telling me story, about this boy and girl who love each other but would not say so to others," I smiled. She saw me and smiled, running towards me. I knelt down to hug her, "Did you have fun with Bailey this morning?" I asked.

She looked at me and nodded. "Yeah she was telling me all sorts of things," Bailey told me, "Well thanks, I really needed the sleep," She nodded. I wasn't even hungry. I really wasn't, but I wasn't nervous for tonight.

I sat down and Ali sat down next to me. Bailey yawned, "Go take a nap," I told her, she shook her head, "I will, I just have to talk to him soon," I glared. “Come on you have to get sleep for you and that baby!” I was very stern with her when it came to that stuff, she was having to stay healthy for 2 people. That’s a big deal.

She nodded realizing I was right since I had been through it and went to her room. Ali and I watched a movie on the couch. We just laid there laughing and she would ask me questions.

“When Justin come?” She asked me. “Soon. Like 3 hours I think.” I couldn’t believe when I looked at my phone it was already 3:30. Where had the day gone? I forgot what it was like to sleep in so late with Ali now. Ali began to fall asleep and I sat there for a half hour more with Ali napping by my side.

When I stood up Ali just stayed on the couch sleeping. I had to begin to go get ready. I went to Bailey’s room and knocked on the door. She answered, “Yes Ava, what would you like?” She asked all happy. I smiled, “What’s got you so happy?” She smiled and replied,”Levi, he’s coming out here, I get to tell him I’m pregnant.” She smiled and I smiled too. I was happy for her. I really was.

“Is he coming when I am going to be gone?” She nodded. “Well I was coming to let you know that I am going to start getting ready. It’s like 4 now and Justin will be here in like 2 hours.” She nodded.

“Do you want to do my hair?” I asked. She nodded. It was something we had done since we were little. I figured it would make her a little happy.

She began to curl my hair when my phone rang. She continued my hair and I answered, “Hello?”

“Hey, how are you doing? I just got out of rehearsal.” It was Justin. His voice made me happy. “I’m doing good. Starting to get ready.” I answered his question.

“How’s Ali?” He always had to ask about her. “She’s taking a nap. But she and I watched a movie today.”

“That’s good. I have to get going see you soon.” I smiled, “Alright bye.”

After hanging up I was now so excited to go. I still didn't know what for and I couldn't get Bailey to crack. As she finished curling my hair she pulled a part back and pinned it up. I liked what she did with it. She hair-sprayed it about 1000 times. No lie.

"I just don't want you to mess it up." She said laughing. "Ha Ha Ha, very funny." I said sarcastically.

I booted her out of the room to put on my dress and my accessories.

Justin told me to be ready by 6:15 and when it was 5:45 I began rushing around like a maniac because I wasn't ready. I was nervous. He was bringing me into his world. His famous-ness. His crazy life and I was going. When I told him yes I wasn't thinking. I just said it out of instinct.

I want to go I do but what if something goes wrong or I say something wrong. Or what if the people there don't like me. The thoughts were just rushing through my head and as I slid on the necklace he had given me I was trying to calm myself down.

As the clock turned to 6. I was nervous. I was putting on mascara carefully trying not to get it under my eye. As I finished my makeup I heard Bailey yell my name. I heard the patter of feet run down the wood floor hallway and stop.

"Mommy, Justin here. Bailey let him in." I smiled. I picked up my bag and slipped in the lipgloss I was wearing. I walked over to Ali.

"Mommy, you look pretty," she said, "Well thank you honey." I knelt down in my heels to her level, "Are you gonna be good for Aunty Bailey tonight?" She nodded. I hugged her tight and stood up.

She followed me out to the living area where Bailey was facing me and Justin's back was turned. They were talking and I saw Baileys lips say,'turn around.'

As he turned around and I walked towards him I couldn't hear Bailey say the words she was saying and Ali wasn't there. Justin walked over towards me. He looked at my dress up and down. He was wearing a nice purple and white plaid button down shirt. He came over to me and pulled me into a hug.

"You look beautiful," he whispered into my ear. I smiled. We hadn't seen each other for a few days and it just felt nice seeing him.

"I missed you," I said quietly. He pulled away and whispered again, "I did too." I really did miss him. "Come on, let's get going." He took my hand and we walked out the door and went to the elevator.

When he took my hand, it brought me back to high school. Sophomore homecoming. It was a lot of fun and one of my friends wanted to dance with me.

We were getting water and and he was there in line behind me. We started up a short conversation in the line and after he said he wanted to dance with me.

He took my hand in his and said "Let's go," his hand gently pulled mine as he pulled me onto the dance floor. They began to play a slow song and as I was about to go away he turned me around. He pulled me close to him. No one danced like that, not anyone I knew of. He danced with me, told me I looked beautiful and then we dated, for like 5 months and it didn't work out.

I smiled remembering that, Justin looked at me questionably but I just shook my head,"Sorry just remembering something, that made me happy."

As we got to the main floor, Justin opened the front door for me and then opened the car door. "Can you please tell me where we are going?" He shook his head, "I can't, it will ruin the surprise."

We arrived at a large building. It looked empty. No one was there.

"Justin why is no one here?" I asked.

He didn't answer. "Justin, come on!" I was getting mad. I got all dressed up and no one was here. What happened to that fancy dinner?

He didn't answer. He took my hand and walked me to the door of the building. It was unlocked and he walked right in. He turned on a light when we walked in.

He took his hand from mine and covered my eyes. "Justin what are you doing?" He began to speak. "Nothing, step down."

I smiled,"Justin if I fall you will die, I mean it."

"You won't fall, I promise. Keep walking. Now wait. Sit down." I fixed my dress and sat down.

"Keep your eyes closed." He said, his voice was getting distant. I nodded, I listened and I couldn't hear his breathing or footsteps close by.

"Open them." I heard him talk loudly from the other side of the room. Whatever room we were in.

I opened my eyes. There in front of me was a stage. A stage and Justin was standing there in front of me with a microphone. I was sitting in a row of seats, it was a small concert arena.

Justin began to speak into the microphone, "Tonight, for that one special girl out there, I am playing one special song on this instrument called the piano behind me." He turned around and he didn't take the microphone with him. He sat down at the piano.

He took his hands and placed them along the piano keys. He played a few notes. I wanted to move closer to get a better view. I stood up and walked to the edge of the stage. He didn't notice me, he was concentrating on the beautiful song he was playing.

I walked over to the stairs on the edge of the stage, listening to the piano song. I walked over to his side, watching his fingers slowly press down on each key. I realized this is what he was supposed to do. Music.

He was born a musician, with that talent, with the adorable charm that everyone could just fall in love with. As he finished playing he looked out into the seats. Realizing I wasn't there I could tell he got a little nervous. He stood up quickly and I tapped him on the shoulder. "What?" He jumped a little.

I began to laugh. "Now darling, don't do that to me." He said mocking my laugh. I smiled, "That was really good. Now why doesn't it have lyrics?" I asked.

"I just don't know if it needs lyrics. I mean I did write that for you." I smiled, "For me?"

He nodded,"Tonight is going to be fun, I just needed you to see what I do everyday is what I love. That no matter what I still find ways to think of you." I smiled. "Can you show me how to play it?" He nodded. "Of course. But another time, we have to be somewhere."

He took my hand and I followed him back to the car and as he drove we weren't talking. It wasn't a weird silence or an awkward silence. It was just quiet. We pulled up to a restaurant that I had never been to before. But it looked really fancy.

Justin pulled up and parked the car letting me out and holding my hand as we walked inside.

As we went in, I felt like I didn't belong, Justin was saying hello to all these people, I just didn't know who they were. They were all people that had something to do with his job.

I was being introduced but forgetting who they were by the time the next person was introduced to me. As Justin sat me in a chair and he sat across the table from me. I felt alone, he kept on talking to all the people and I didn't realize what I was even here for. Why was I even invited? As more people kept walking in and being sat down I felt alone. Alone in this fancy restaurant in this stupid dress, that I couldn't even afford.

I stood up pretending I had a phone call and picked out my phone from my purse. I put it to my head and walked out to the front of the restaurant.

As I got away from everyone I put my phone away and let tears slip from my eyes. We were here for no more than 15 minutes and he was already talking business with everyone. I had no part of that conversation.

As I sat there on a bench for about 5 minutes keeping myself from crying someone sat next to me. It was Pattie.

"Hey, Ava, what's going on? Why is a beautiful girl like you in such a pretty dress sitting out here?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"I thought maybe Justin would notice I was gone. But he obviously hasn't." I said. "Did he start talking business to all those guys in there?" I nodded. "And then he sat me down, across from him. I wasn't even sitting next to him. I just think I should go home." She shook her head.

"It's not my fault my son isn't being good, but I can tell him to get his act together because he obviously is hurting you." I nodded. But I already felt horrible and the night started so good.

"Why did he even bring me here anyway? All it is, is a business dinner meeting." She shook her head,"I'll go get him to let him explain that to you." I nodded and when she walked into the restaurant I began to play a game on my phone. It was getting cold out as it got darker. I was getting a little shiver in my dress.

It honestly felt like 7 minutes before Justin came outside and it probably was. He walked over to me quickly.

"Ava why are you out here?" I ignored him. "Ava, why aren't you inside with me?" I ignored him again. "Ava answer me." He was stern but I still ignored him. "Speak."

"Justin first of all I am not a dog. You can't tell me what to do. But first of all I am not inside because you were ignoring me. I was sitting across from you at that table. I didn't know anyone and the least you could do was sit next to me. Try to make me feel comfortable but you didn't, I felt so alone in there. So I decided to be alone out here. Tonight was supposed to be fun and so far Justin I am not having too much fun." He didn't reply to anything I said.

"Why did you even bring me here anyways?" I asked, it was a simple question.

"I brought you here to see what I go through, that trying to make this tour 6 months wasn't easy. Tonight is the night that I truly find out every little detail about my tour. These people here all help put it together. Scooter was sitting in there with a couple other people that mean the most to my job. If they mess up one little thing I won't have anything to do. I will be done. I wanted you to find out with me so you would hear it from them yourself. Also so I wouldn't be the only young person here. Sometimes things like this, I get tired of being around older adults. I have since I was younger."

I didn't say anything. I began to shiver again. "Come on let's go inside, we can talk about this later." I nodded. But something told me, being away from his for 6 months just wasn't going to work.