Love Is Hard

I walked out the door of her building. I walked to my car. I sat in the drivers seat and I was pissed. Why did I let myself walk away? I let myself walk away from the girl I loved. I didn't talk to her at all about Canada. Like I was supposed to.

As Sunday came around I was depressed. I didn't want to talk to Ryan and I didn't want to do anything related to my tour. I was going to go for a run. I went for a 3 mile jog. I let my mind clear itself and I still felt like crap.

When I got back to my house I went to take a shower. As the day ended I was beginning to pack for Canada, where I was going to have my first concert. But now that Ava wasn't going I wasn't too sure I wanted to either.

Did I have to wait 6 months? 6 months to see her again. I can't wait 6 months to get her back.

I took my car keys and began to drive. I drove to her apartment. I didn't see her car anywhere around. Then I forgot her sister was coming in today. So I decided I would drive. Drive to the airport and then if I had to I would drive to her moms. I needed to see her again. Just to talk, to say anything. I wasn't sure if she saw me again she would talk, but I at least needed to know that she really wants to do this.

As I drove to the airport, I ran the words from last night through my head. I said everything I wanted, I was going to keep her forever. I was determined. No matter what I had to do I was going to do it because I knew I wanted her. Only her.

Did she want me? That was the only thing running in my mind. She didn't want me. That's why when I said goodbye she said nothing. She let me go. I wasn't ok with it at all. She was up to something I knew she was.

She had something on her mind and I just didn't know what it was. I thought what we had was right. But her mind must be running different.

I parked my car and ran into the airport stopping at one of the service desks, "Can you tell me the list of flights that are landing from New York?"

"Now kid, there are about 100 flights." I stopped the lady.

"But this afternoon, how many? Please." I remembered hearing Ava say something, "around 4 maybe."

"3 flights. One at 4:10, one at 4:25, and at 4:50." She said slowly looking at her computer, "All of them are landed or landing soon and they are each different airlines. Here." She printed out the list of them.

As I began to say thank you she said, "Go get her." I looked at her questionably.

"You have the look of love on your face." I smiled. I ran off. I had to drive around the outside of this big airport trying to find Ava.

As I drove to the first airline, I looked for her car around and it wasn't. So I drove to the other one realizing it hasn't even landed. So I drove to the airline that landed at 4:25. I saw a woman who looked very familiar who was pregnant cross the street with two little kids and a car seat. One child running across I recognized. Then I saw her, she was carrying a car seat and a suitcase. I put down my window.

"Jess, I still have to go get your other suitcases. Just wait here." As they finished crossing the road. I was going to get out to help but a car behind me honked.

I began to drive and I was going to help them, they obviously needed it. I parked after paying a ridiculous parking fee. But I just ran over to them and as Ava was turning back to go get the suitcases I took her by surprise. Her face was in total shock.

But she smiled. She broke out into a smile and I couldn't help but smile back. "Let me help you guys. Somehow."

She nodded, "Take them to my car. I will go get the other two suitcases. You take this one." I nodded. She handed me the car seat and rolled me the suitcase.

I took the car keys and Ava walked off. "How was your flight?" I asked Jessica. She was carrying a sleeping Danielle. "Good, long, she cried a lot. I just need to get to my new home."

"Where exactly is that?" I asked. "Just a few miles from my moms. But closer to Ava, right in the middle." I nodded.

We walked up to the car and I unlocked it. Letting Jessica buckle in Danielle, Aliah got in her car seat in the middle and I put Jackson's in on the other side. "Justin," I heard from the other side of the car.

"I think you deserve an apology, you are good to Ava and Ali. The first time we met." I slammed the door shut walking to the back and putting the suitcase in there. "I was pretty upset with the whole situation at the time and I shouldn't have said those things. I see how you are dealing with my entire crazy family and Ava loves you. The way she says your name its like magic for her. You're a real special guy."

I nodded. "Thanks. I appreciate that. Although after last night I'm too sure how much more of me you will be seeing."

"Why? What happened?" I looked at her shutting the trunk of the car, "Ava didn't tell you about our fight where I basically told her I love her more than anything and she said nothing. How I love everything about her but she said nothing. Nothing at all."

She looked at me with sad eyes, "Justin, I'm sorry." I shook my head, "It's not a problem, Ava just has to realize,"

"What?" I shook my head. "Nevermind." She spoke, "Your relationship, something about it I'm sure."

Then I saw her lugging over the suitcases. One kept getting stuck behind the other and she would have to turn around to fix it. It was funny Jess started to laugh so I did too.

She walked over opened the trunk and put them in. Ava closed the trunk and walked over to the drivers seat taking the keys and putting them in the ignition, "Jess get in the car."

She shook her head, "Not until you and Justin talk."

She looked at me standing next to Jessica, "Hi." She looked at Jess with the you happy face.

"Ava, please. Just listen one minute. After that you can hate me and leave but I love you. I love everything you do. I love that when you are upset you don't let it show but to the people who know you well enough can tell that you are upset. Ava, you gotta let me in. Just let me know what you need or,"

She stopped me, "Justin, I need someone who will always be here."

"What do you not want me to go on tour?" She didn't say anything.

I was going to fight and say everything to get her back but instead I just said, "Wasn't it perfect? Weren't we fine?" I walked to my car pissed that I even came at all.