Love Is Hard

After saying goodnight to my daughter, my sister called. She told me that David had gotten there and they finally moved stuff in today. I was happy. She said they were going to paint the kids rooms tomorrow so I would have to go and see the rooms when I got back.

Ryan sat there and was texting the entire time I was talking. He left his phone on the counter and walked off and I heard a door shut. He must have went to the bathroom. I hung up with my sister and Ryan's phone vibrated. I looked to see who he was texting and Justin's name appeared on the screen.

I heard the door open and began to play with my phone. I was spinning it around in my hands and looking the opposite way from the phone. As Ryan walked back over I said, "You got a text." He looked at me, "Did you look at my phone?" He asked.

"No, I didn't even see who it was from. I don't get into other people's business unless it involves me." He smiled and read his text and replied, "So what are we going to do?" I asked.

"Well we can't go out in public seeing how you look like that." He said laughing, "Come on Ryan, I only packed a few clothes and seeing how it looks like I may be here for more than 2 days, I may need to do some shopping here, tomorrow."

He laughed, "Do you know where Justin is tonight?" I asked. He shook his head at me. He was lying and I could tell.

"Ryan where is he?" He finally spoke up after I had asked the second time, "He-he- he has to do something with someone." He said quickly and stuttered.

I got all sorts of suspicions from what he had just said, "Ryan he isn't cheating on me is he?" He didn't say anything. He stopped and shook his head, "I think you should talk to Justin, ok? When he gets home, just talk to him."

"Ryan is there something I should know? Like does he complain that I'm a bad girlfriend? Am I not good enough for him?" I felt like crying.

He came and hugged me. I know he couldn't help me but I just felt like falling apart. I did just that. I cried for a while.

"Ryan, thank you." He just kept hugging me. "Ava, just know that whatever Justin is doing. You are good enough." I smiled.

"I should probably go. See you tomorrow?" I asked. He nodded. "Most definitely." I smiled, taking the car keys from my bag and going out his front door. I saw him pick up his phone as I got in the front seat. He watched me drive away, while he was on his cell phone.

I drove back to the house and while I was pulling in the driveway, I noticed the time was about 9. I parked the car and went to the front door, I opened it and realized Justin still wasn't here.

There was a light on in the kitchen.

There was a note on the fridge.

Justin & Ava,

We went to bed. Please be quiet when you get home. We will be up making breakfast in the morning. Have a nice sleep.

I smiled reading it and leaving the light on as I walked into Justin's old room. I picked up my bag and pulled out my pajamas.

I slipped them on and grabbed my toothbrush. Walking to the bathroom and brushing my teeth and then taking my hairbrush through my hair once more before bed.

I saw Justin's sweatshirt sitting on the top of the dresser in the room. I grabbed it, it smelt like him. I put it on over my shirt and walked over to the bed, checking my phone one last time before laying down in the bed and drifting off to sleep.

I was awoken from my sleep from talking. It was Justin and someone else. I looked at my phone and it was 1:30 in the morning. Being a mother I heard everything.

"Stop, Justin." I heard the girl say to him.

"Please, just don't tell anyone alright? It's a secret. It's a surprise. I walked down the hallway and saw some girl standing there next to Justin. I saw his face when he saw me. He obviously looked sorry but was he? Probably not. I walked off back to the room and shut the door, locking it. I laid back in bed, wrapping the sweatshirt around me tighter, listening to Justin knock on the door, trying to open it, taking in everything and I fell back asleep with tears streaming down my face.

I woke up the next morning around 7. I was used to my daughter waking me up everyday at this time. I began to pack all my things into the bag. I wasn't going to stay here. I changed into the last outfit, I had packed. I brushed through my hair and put on the headband.

Once I packed everything I had left, I opened the door. On the floor sleeping in front of the door was Justin. There were dried tears in his eyes and he looked said. I stepped over him and walked down the hallway to the kitchen where I heard talking.

"Hi Ava, you know whatever Justin did, he stayed there all night. I came out when I heard the loud noises and I told Justin he could talk to you in the morning. But he insisted he stayed until you came out. I just hope that whatever he did doesn't mean you have to leave. He really likes you I can tell."

"I'm really not that hungry. Can you just tell Justin goodbye when he wakes up? It was really nice meeting you, both of you. But I don't think I can stay. I'm sorry." She smiled.

"Don't be sorry that my grandson is an idiot. He is the one that messed up this time." She said hugging me. I pulled away.

"I'm going to take Justin's car to Ryan's and Ryan can take me to the airport. Just tell Justin that's where his car is in case he needs it. Not that he will." I said. Taking the keys and walking to the car. Waving goodbye to his grandparents and getting in the car.

I drove to Ryan's crying the entire time. I was so heartbroken. Why was Justin such an idiot? i got to the house and knocked on the door and Ryan came to the front door, I wiped away the tears.

"Why are you here? You should be with Justin. Wait what happened? Did he break up with you?" I shook my head in tears, "Is that what he's going to do?" I asked. I sat down on the step. I took deep breaths. I took off the sunglasses I was wearing. I wiped the tears with my grey shirt.

Ryan hugged me. I wept in his shirt. He wrapped both his arms around me and I just cried. I was so done with everything. The last time I cried like this was when Dylan died. It was so weird.

"Ava, what do you want? Do you want to be happy? Do you want Justin by your side forever?" Ryan asked.

I pulled away wiping my eyes. "Of course. I see Justin taking care of Ali and having kids of our own one day. I want him and just him. I don't care about his fame and I don't care about any of his past. I care about how he treats me now and I deserve to be happy now right? Well I want to be happy by his side. He always has the right words to say and he knows how he should act but sometimes I just wonder if he thinks. Like does his brain process what he's going to do before he does it? Because he showed me around this town yesterday and he was so genuine about it. He really loves this place. It's his home and I get that, I want him to be like that to me all the time." I wiped the last of my tears away.

"Then why don't you just tell him that?" Ryan asked me, I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know, I don't think he cares."

"I care." I heard a voice from behind me. I turned around it was Justin.

"Justin what are you doing here?" I asked him standing up.

"I woke up and you were gone and I didn't like that. Not one bit. I want you. I don't want anyone else, Ava, I want you." I walked closer to him.

"You heard that?" He nodded taking his finger and wiping the remaining tears away.

"Ava, you think I don't care. I care what you think about me. I want you to know that I'm not that famous guy that I'm just a person." I interrupted him, "Justin that's how I see you, you aren't some famous person to me. You are just Justin." He smiled.

"Can we talk about this, everything? Please. I don't want to fight. I want you to come back to my grandparents house and eat breakfast with me at the kitchen table while my grandpa talks to me about sports and my grandma tells us to stop. I want you there to understand my normal life." I smiled.

"Of course I will come and eat breakfast with you. But one thing, I have the keys." I said laughing, "Maybe I will make you walk." I laughed.

"Are you kidding me? I ran here! I woke up and I was lying on the floor, I realized you were gone and I came straight here. I ran all the way here. Now, you're going to make me walk home." I laughed at him hiding the keys.

He tried to grab them from me but it didn't work so I kept running but he caught up and put his arms around my body and spun me around.

"Ava Whitney Jansen, I swear if you do not give me the car keys." He said, "Well the worst that happens is that you have to walk home," I said laughing.

He placed me on the grass and started to tickle me. I was laughing and he grabbed the keys from me. He sat there looking at me and handed me the keys, "You know I really deserve to walk home after what I did last night. Take the car, see you in a half hour."

"Justin, I don't care alright?" I said, "But I know you are just saying that. I know it's not the truth. I know you were mad. Because you locked the door last night and I laid there waiting, I was just hoping you would come and get me."

"Justin that wasn't my place. It was your fault and you know I really was going to drop the whole last night thing but since you want to talk about it so much why don't we? Where were you? And who was that girl? And why the hell did you get back in 1:30 in the morning? Why did you even leave? Where did you meet her?" He looked at me.

"Can we not talk about this in Ryan's front yard. Look I will drive home ok? We can talk then. I promise."

I nodded and got in the car. Justin drove off.

"That girl that was with me was an old friend. She was somewhere last night that I was and we just started to catch up. She helped me with a few things and then she followed me home. I honestly didn't tell her to come." I said something, "But you didn't tell her to go did you?" He shook his head.

"As for where I was. I really can't tell you. The reason I was out so late I can't tell you." Justin said so calm.

"Justin that's just it you are my boyfriend you can't just lie all the time anymore. I don't deserve that." I was so mad. He turned and looked at me, "I didn't do anything I promise!" He yelled back. "Then why can't you tell me?" Suddenly the car moved there was a car coming towards us, "Justin!" I screamed.

I heard a crash and saw blood. I felt something sharp in my side and saw flames from the front of the car. Justin wasn't saying anything or moving when I said his name. I suddenly felt tired and closed my eyes.