Love Is Hard

I got dressed after Pattie had helped curl my hair. I thought I looked cute. I put the final touches on the outfit with my gold heart earrings and the necklace Justin had given me.

I smiled looking into the mirror once more before walking out of the bathroom. I walked to the living room where Pattie and his grandparents were sitting. Pattie saw me and smiled.

"Ava, you look beautiful," she said to me. "Thank you Pattie. Oh I forgot something." I said going back to get the bag. I put my phone inside along with my lipgloss and some other little things. I walked back down to the living room and Justin was standing there talking to his mom. He turned and saw me.

He smiled walking towards me. "You look beautiful." He whispered before kissing my lips. "Even with this cast?" I asked. He nodded. "Even with the cast, hey wait I need to sign that thing." He ran off.

He came back with a Sharpie. He wrote a long message on the cast and then signed his name.

I smiled. "Ready to go?" He asked. I nodded.

He opened the car door for me and I got in. I buckled myself in and Justin shut the door walking to the drivers side and getting in. We carried a small chat as he drove us to some restaurant. He parked the car and I got out. Grabbing my bag and shutting the door behind me.

Justin came over and grabbed my left hand this time, remembering my right one had the cast. The restaurant was kind of casual but like you definitely couldn't wear shorts to this type of place.

We walked in and Justin talked to the girl standing there. She grabbed two menus and showed us to a table in the back corner of the restaurant. Probably so no one would really notice Justin.

"This place is beautiful," I said sitting down. The blonde haired girl put a menu down in front of both me and Justin before saying, "Your waiter will be right with you," And walked away.

I admired the red sheer sheets hanging like canopies over the lights. The lights were dimmed and there was soft music playing in the background.

"Justin, this place, is perfect." He smiled, "Ava, its just because I love you."

"Justin, I love you too." I looked in the menu and decided what I wanted.

"What are you going to get?" Justin asked. "I was thinking the linguine pasta with seafood and tomato basil sauce." I answered him, "You?"

"I was thinking the steak with a baked potato and chicken soup. Do you want a soup or salad?" He asked. I thought about it, I was kind of hungry.

"Uh, sure I guess I will have the grilled chicken caesar salad." He smiled. We talked for a while before the waitress came over. Her name was Katie.

We ordered our food and then my phone began to ring. It was loud and everyone near our table in the restaurant looked at me. I grabbed the phone and it was my mom. Which meant it was Ali.

"Look Justin, it's Ali. I will be right back. I promise." I walked out of the restaurant answering the phone.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Mommy." I heard a scream from the other end of the phone. "Are you better now?" She asked.

"Yeah Ali. I am. Are you bring good?" I asked.

"Yes mommy. When you coming home?" She asked.

"Tomorrow, I will be home tomorrow." I said smiling.

"Really? Tomorrow?" She asked.

"Yeah Ali-bear. I miss you. I love you. Can I talk to grandma?" I asked.

"I love you too Mommy. Here grandma." She said and I heard the phone pass off as Ali was talking.

"Hello?" She answered. "Mom, I'm really sorry about not being there but with the crash and everything I really was hoping to be back there sooner. Like 4 days ago." I said into the phone.

"Honey, it's ok, and about Nelson we broke up. So I don't want you to be mad at me anymore, you are my daughter." She said.

"Mom, I'm coming home tomorrow. I will text you the information tonight but can you just be there to pick me up? We can talk about it then. I have to go back to my dinner now." She understood and we hung up.

I walked back to the table and Justin was sitting there alone. I must have left him there for a good 10 minutes. I sat down and immediately apologized.

"I'm sorry Justin. That was Ali and my mom." He shook his head, "No, it's alright. Do you miss her?" He asked.

I nodded, "You have no idea." I said smiling.

We chatted for about 10 minutes before our soup and salads came. You know how when people are eating they just don't talk while you eat? That's exactly what happened. I ate my salad and Justin ate his soup.

I finished after he did and then I asked him a really ridiculous question. "Do you love me?" He looked at me confused.

"Do you?" I asked again. "Ava, I've been telling you I love you everyday. When you were in the hospital I made sure you knew that I loved you. Even though you couldn't hear me, I said it everyday. Because Ava I do love you and I want you to love me. Why would you ask me that?"

"Because Justin, if I'm going to move in with you, I want to make sure you love me just as much as I love you." He smiled, "You're going to move in with me?" He asked. I nodded.

"Bailey and Levi are going to get married after their baby is born. I figured I could give them the apartment and Ali and I could move in with you. If you still wanted us to." He smiled again and spoke,"Of course I want you both there. Ava what made you change your mind? Because I know it wasn't Bailey."

I thought about it and realized exactly what he knew all along, "I just really like you, It just seemed right," Our food had come shortly after and this time while we were eating we talked.

He told me how excited he was even if he was going on tour. I really did appreciate him. He was doing everything for me and it was finally ok.

We ate our dinners and chatted quietly. Justin paid the bill a little while later and we decided we would go get ice cream. We were going to walk.

We got outside the restaurant and there was a few paparazzi standing there waiting to take pictures. Justin suddenly got tense and he put his arm around me and spoke up to them, "Can you all just leave me alone on the last night I have to spend with my girlfriend? Please."

I smiled. He was being decent with them, not mean he was being calm. One guy who looked kind of young spoke up, "Can we at least get one picture?" Justin was about to say something when I spoke, "Sure." He looked at me, I knew he would've said no and these guys would've stayed around all night.

We posed for one picture, hiding my purple cast behind Justin. We said goodbye to them and we walked off, "Why were you so nice to them?" Justin asked, I replied, "It's simple they wouldn't have left if they didn't get the picture and what is one picture? What's the harm?"

He shook his head,"You have no idea, everyone will know about you. Not that they already didn't but my fans, they aren't going to love you." I nodded my head, "Yeah but do any of them actually have a chance with you?" I asked as we continued to walk.

"No, you are the only girl for me." I smiled as he said the words. He put his hand in the pocket of his pants and pulled something out. There was a little black box and he opened it. Inside was this beautiful ring.

I looked at it and then at him, "This is proof, I bought this for you." He took the ring out of the box and picked up my right hand. He slid it onto my finger.

"I really love you Ava, I want you to have that. I know you're going to say. You bought me the clothes and the dog, but this is from my heart." I smiled. He closed the box and put it back in his pocket. I picked my hand up and admired it.

The perfect heart with the diamonds. It was just perfect.

We got ice cream and we talked about dog names. We talked about the future. We ignored that it was the last night together and we ignored the tour. I didn't want it to end. It was all too perfect.

We got home and when I saw the little puppy running towards me I knew what her name should be. "Belle," I announced out loud. Justin walked over to me.

"What?" He asked whispering. His grandparents were already asleep. "Her name. Her name is Belle." I said smiling. He smiled and picked her up. "I think it works." She whined in his arms so he put her down and I heard a noise come from the other room.

Pattie walked in the kitchen where we were standing, "Hey, I waited for you guys to come home. Hope you both had a fun night. Justin your flight tomorrow is at 3. We have to leave around 1."

She mentioned leaving. The airport, the flight. I was leaving at 3:35. My flight to LA was leaving at 3:35. Justin's flight to Atlanta was at 3:00. I felt the tears coming. I tried not to make any sounds but instead I got the attention of both Pattie and Justin.

I ran off to the bathroom before Justin could get me. I closed the door and locked it. I heard knocking, "Ava, come on open up this door." I turned the light on and looked in the mirror, my makeup was running down my face. I was just sad.

Why did everything good have to stop? I didn't want to lose Justin. I wasn't was I? He was still going to be mine right? I wiped the tears and cleaned off my face. Justin was still knocking on the door. I heard some talking and knew Pattie was there.

"Just give her time, you expect her to want you to leave?" Pattie asked Justin.

"No, mom, but I don't want her to be upset as much as I am. Ok? I love her and she loves me. I just want her to understand I don't want to go, I would rather be with her. I just don't want to have to leave. I want her standing there by my side." I heard him say to Pattie. I felt the tears coming again.

"Just give her 5 minutes. Why don't you go change and maybe by then she will be ready." She said to him. I heard footsteps go in opposite directions. I wiped my tears and unlocked the door. I opened it slowly and to my right Pattie stood there.

She nodded and shook her hand into the other direction, "Go talk to him," She said softly. I nodded and smiled. She smiled. I slowly made my way to Justin's room. I heard a loud bang and he sounded upset.

I walked to the doorway where he was standing in pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. He hadn't seen me yet. I walked into the room and he turned around.

"Justin," I said quietly. He interrupted, "This whole time, I have just been doing all of this, because I read this letter. I know you don't want me anymore." He handed me the letter I had written him before the crash.

"Justin this means nothing. I just didn't think you would want to stay with me while you were on tour, this is before you asked me to move in with you. This i before I knew you were getting me a dog and you gave me this ring. I love you alright? Don't you understand? I love you. I do. This letter was telling you, that I still did. But none of that matters, right here. Right now. Thats what matters."

He looked at me, he looked at the letter and then I ripped it in half. I ripped it again and again. Until it was in a whole bunch of tiny pieces. I threw them out in the trash in the corner of the room, "So tomorrow when we say goodbye, thats a whole 7 months before I will see you again. That's why I was crying. I don't want to have to say goodbye." I said starting to tear up again.

"Stop crying, It's making me sad, ok? And tomorrow when we say goodbye. It's not for a long time. By the way did I tell you? The first stop on my tour is in Michigan?" He asked me, I smiled. "No but you should go visit someplace when you go." I said.

"What?" He asked. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and wrote down an address. "This is the place where my dad and Dylan are both buried." I drew a little picture and marked two x's. I wrote Dad on one and Dylan on the other.

"I know you probably don't want to but it would mean the world to me if you got to know who I used to be." I wrote down another address, "This is my house. We still own it and the spare keys are in the back under a wooden pot of probably dead flowers." He smiled. "You can go inside. There isn't much there. Pictures and some things. The power still works and you should look around at the place I grew up in."

He smiled, "Why are you so perfect?" I shrugged my shoulders. He kissed my lips. I kissed back and I was finally ok with having to say goodbye.

I grabbed the pajamas that I had brought, and went to change. I heard Justin talking to Pattie and he gave her the paper so he wouldn't lose it. I came out of the bathroom and Justin picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I was laughing so much. Pattie went into the other bedroom.

"Justin what are you doing?" I asked him still laughing hysterically.

"Well silly, my mom has the other room I have to stay with you tonight if thats alright?" He asked. I smiled.

"No, its not allowed," I said sarcastically. He plopped me down on the bed and he looked at me, "Well that's not very nice." I smirked, "I know." I put my arms around his neck and kissed him.

"But I was just kidding." I said pulling away from the kiss. He laid down next to me and we laid there talking.

"Are you going to miss me?" I asked. "Yes, everyday. Are you?" I nodded, "I will every single moment of every single day."

"You won't forget me right?" He asked so faintly. LIke he was afraid of the answer, "Did you really just ask that because no I won't. I am moving into your house Justin. You got me this ring and a dog. I could never forget you. What about you?" He didn't say anything automatically as if he was thinking.

"I won't. I have someone to come home to. I someone great to come home to. Two great, amazing, beautiful girls. Someone I know will always be there for me."

I smiled. We got underneath the bed sheets and cuddled for a while keeping a chat going until I got tired. I fell asleep right in his arms.

I woke up the next morning to talking. I got out of the bed and forgot Justin had even stayed there with me the night before.

"I think it's best Justin." I heard some guy say.

"I'm not leaving until the scheduled time, come on. Mom?" I heard Justin say after.

"Scooter, just let Justin leave when he wants to. He deserves to say goodbye." I heard Pattie say to Scooter. I never met him but just hearing this, I already didn't like him.

"Fine he can stay, we are leaving on the plane at 3. He better not be a minute late." He was being rude. I heard the door shut and I walked into the room a few short moments after.

Justin was sitting at the table not facing me with his head in his arms on the table. Obviously pissed off. Pattie and Diane were standing in the kitchen making something on the oven. I heard the television on and saw Bruce sitting watching the news.

I walked over to Justin and wrapped my arms around him. He didn't say anything he just sighed.

I put my head on his shoulder and whispered in his ear, "Justin it's our last day together. Let's do something." He put his head up and turned towards me.

"I love you, Ava." I smiled,"I love you too Justin." I sat down next to him and we discussed what we were going to do. Pattie came over with a few plates, silverware and syrup. She put them down in front of us. Diane came over with another plate full of waffles. She put them in the middle of the table.

We ate while we chatted. It was just like any other day. But in the back of my mind I knew it was the day I would have to say goodbye.

We spent the day hanging around the house. Helping each other pack up and just spent the day happy, together.

As 1 o'clock rolled around it was time for us to leave. Diane was going to ship Belle to me in a few weeks. Just so I had time to settle in and such. I would have to go get her at the airport one day.

Justin, Pattie and I loaded our things into the car before we said our goodbyes. I said goodbye to Diane first, "Thank you for everything. Letting me stay here and just for everything. I know why Justin likes it here. It reminds him of home, it reminds me of home too." We hugged and I said goodbye to Bruce too. Justin was taking the longest to say goodbye to them.

I watched as he hugged them how sad he got. He really didn't want to leave I could tell. I saw them all hug one last time before Justin came over to me and hugged me.

We got into the car and the drive was silent. We knew what was coming and we didn't want to believe it. We arrived at the airport and Pattie dropped us off as she went to go and park the car.

Justin was going one way and I was going another and this was goodbye. "You better text me when you land." I said to him. He smiled, "I land before you and you will still be in the air when I text you." I nodded, "I know but if there isn't a message from you when I land, I will be worried." He smiled.

We stepped towards each other and hugged for the longest time. I tried to stop myself from crying but it just didn't work. There was a silence around us and then I heard the clicking and it was paparazzi. We took our bags and walked inside the airport.

I pulled up my sweatshirt hood and Justin did the same. "I just wish they would leave me alone, sometimes." I just shrugged my shoulders. Pattie came in and saw us. She came over, "Justin we have to get going, Scooters going to get mad." She walked off to the side a little to give us a minute.

"Goodbye Ava Whitney, I love you." Justin spoke and tears were streaming down my face. "I love you Justin Drew Bieber, you go show the country what you were made to do, I love you." He wiped away the tears that just continues to stream down my face.

We kissed and it was perfect. This was it. He handed me a plastic bag full of things.

"Open it on the plane, It will give you something to do." I smiled. We kissed and hugged once more.

"I will text you when I land, and I expect the same." He said. I nodded. I wiped away my tears and he walked off to Pattie. I watched him walk away and I shook my head. I dropped my bag and ran to him. I had to kiss him once more.

I tapped his shoulder and he picked me up. I kissed his lips and he kissed mine. He was everything to me. He put me down and we said our final goodbye. I hugged Pattie and said goodbye to her. I walked back to my bag. I walked to the security check after watching him walk away.

I was so upset but I knew I had to let him go. He had to show everyone what he was truly made for doing. He was a singer. I couldn't get in between that, not ever.