Love Is Hard

A few days later, Levi and Bailey had made up and he moved back in with her, leaving Ali and I alone in the big house again.

She continued to go to school everyday and everyday was one day closer to Justin getting back February 16th. He was excited to get home and have the entire summer off, to work on his music with barely any traveling involved.

It soon became the day I started school, with a class at 8:30 in the morning I would have to drop off Ali at my moms so that she could bring her to school with this LA traffic.

I woke up at 6:30 so that I would have enough time to get ready and wake Ali up too. I quickly got dressed and curled my hair, adding a cute headband and putting on very little makeup.

I woke Ali up and she got dressed quickly and I combed through her hair and put it in a braid. She made me do her hair every morning. I made her a bagel and put it on a paper plate that she could just throw out at my mom's. I grabbed my laptop and put in my bag.

We got in the car and it was 7:10. I hoped I would make it to my first class in time. I drove less conservatively than normal, not afraid. But getting stuck in traffic was something I had no control over. I couldn't help if we got stuck in traffic, in fact, in LA it was pretty normal. I tried not to look at the clock, 25 minutes to my mom's house and then had another short drive to the school, in which I would have to park and most likely run to my class.

I had to remember what class I had, English, I think, the basic English course. It was the only one I could get into last summer, because I decided last minute to sign up. I didn't want to but I had to.

Unfortunately, English, was on the far side of one of the buildings:one disadvantage of living off campus and having a daughter who had to get to pre-school at 8:30.

After what seemed like a 45 minute drive, which it could have been, but I had decided not to look at the clock which would only stress me out even more. Ali got out of the backseat and ran off to the front door.

Scott opened the door and she ran inside without her backpack.

"Hi Scott." I said to him. "Here let me take that." He took her backpack from my hands and then he continued, "You should get going, have a good first day of school, should we pick Aliah up too?" I thought about it and I had a class at 2:30. I definitely wouldn't make it there to pick her up.

"If you don't mind, I mean I have class and it really wouldn't be possible. But I guess I could miss it." He shook his head. "Don't worry, we will get her and bring her back here." He reasoned. I nodded.

"Thank you, but I really should get going, say hi for my mom and really thank you." I liked Scott, I liked his sons and their families. It was like the brothers, Jess and I never had.

I quickly ran off to the car and drove away. Hoping and praying I wouldn't be late. I couldn't be late.

The drive seemed long, and as I found a parking spot as close as I could. I got out locking it and looking at my phone. Three minutes. I ran, I had no energy to run and I didn't want to. But I had to, there was no way I would make it. My long hair was held back by the headband otherwise it would have kept whipping me in the face.

As I made it inside and began running down the halls I slowed down. I didn't want to look like a complete idiot. It was bad enough I was a 20 year old in freshman classes. One reason I wanted to take summer classes to make up a year and I could be with all the people my age.

But Justin didn't want me to. I walked up to the door of the small lecture hall. I was late I knew it. My professor looked at me. The students in the class looked at me. I'm sure I looked worn out, tired, and a little crazy.

It was my first day back and I was late. He was tough, we weren't allowed to be late, and somehow I never had been, until today. I saw someone laugh and I decided just to leave.

"Sorry for disrupting the class, Professor Birch I will be leaving, again sorry." I felt a tear slowly slip out of my eye. Everyone in the class eyed me, as I slowly began closing the door I heard someone say something.

I turned around and made my way back to the main area so I could hang out until my next class in two and a half hours.

"Ava?" I heard a young man's voice ask behind me. I turned around, a classmate who I didn't know the name of had closed the door behind him.

"Are you ok? You look tired." He blatantly stated it, no hesitation at all.

"Go back into class. Don't miss out because I came in late." He shook his head. "No, besides he already told me if I left I couldn't go back and I don't even care. I kind of hate him." I laughed. I will admit he was cute.

Short brown hair, cut so it could be spiked just enough in the front, he had soft blue eyes that shined in the light of the hallway. He smiled.

"Let's go sit outside?" He asked, I nodded. He was being friendly right?

We walked through the double doors and out to a picnic table.

"How come I never see you here on campus?" He asked as he sat down.

"I don't live on campus, part of the reason that I was late today." I said putting my bag on the table.

"Well how far away do you live? It might be more convenient to live here." I shook my head, unsure to tell him about Ali, "It would be pretty impossible for me to live on campus."

"Well why?" I didn't even know his name, but he was not backing down until he had a complete answer from me, "I just can't ok?" I said getting a bit ticked off.

He put his hands up, "Tough time at home?" I shook my head, beginning to stand up. He put his hand on mine as if asking to stay. I decided to, what else was I going to do?

I opened up my mini notebook quickly making a list of groceries that I would need to get through the week. Something to keep my mind busy from this boy.

Bread
Eggs
Cheese
Turkey
Ham
Lettuce
Watermelon
Milk
Fruit Loops
Bagels

"What are you doing?" He suddenly asked. "Making a grocery list." I quickly answered, "Do live by yourself? As a freshman?" I shook my head.

"No I don't live by myself." He looked even more confused, "Then why don't your parents go shopping?" I rolled my eyes, "I don't live with my parents."

Looking at the time on my phone I noticed it had only been 10 minutes. Please someone save me from him.

"Then who do you live with? Are you all by yourself?" I stared at him blankly, "Do you have to ask so many questions? I don't live by myself, but I don't really feel comfortable talking about my private life with you."

"Well then ask me questions, I really am bored." I nodded. "How about you just keep talking, I'll listen." He nodded and he began.

"Well where should I start? I guess I should say my parents got divorced when I was three. I have an older brother, two older sisters and one younger sister. She was born and they just disagreed with everything and got divorced. I lived in Idaho almost my entire life, until the summer of my junior year of high school,"

He didn't take a pause between his words and for some reason, I just sat here and admired him. Maybe it was because Justin and I never just sat and talked, it was always go here, go there, watch Ali, do this. We never talked, and even though I didn't know his name, he was by far catching my eye.

What was I saying? I am dating Justin Bieber. But maybe that was it, did I really want to be with Mr. Famous popstar? I just wanted a normal life, but I wouldn't get that with Justin would I?

"Anyways, I lived out here with two of my old friends and loved it, I got accepted here and was ecstatic, I was so happy to be here. Everyone here is just so different than Idaho," Yeah could you imagine how different it was than Michigan? And coming with your one year old daughter?

The wind blew and I shivered slightly. I had forgotten a sweater, what an idiot. "Are you cold?" I shook my head. He noticed the lie. He pulled off the zip up sweatshirt he had on walking over to my side of the picnic table wrapping it around me. It smelt outdoorsy, something total polar opposite than Justin and I liked it.

I smiled.

But instead of moving back to the other side he stayed on the same side. "So do you care to tell me anything about you?" He asked softly, I decided I could tell him small details of my life.

"Well I have an older sister, she is married and has four kids with him. My parents got divorced while I was in middle school. My dad died a year after I graduated high school. I came here to LA with my," I stopped myself, I wasn't going to tell him about Ali not today.

"I came here to LA, my mom moved back out here to all her family after they got divorced, I would have stayed in Michigan but there were some reasons why I couldn't, I needed help. My sister at the time was living in New York."

"Ok but why are you 20? As a freshman?" I shook my head, "No questions!" He smiled and laughed. I liked his laugh, it was contagious.

"I just couldn't go to college. But now my mom has a new boyfriend and I really like him, he has two sons who are married and have kids. For once in my life everything seems to be going right."

"You have issues in the past?" He asked unsure if he would get an answer.

"Kind of, can we not talk about it right now though." I opened up the mini notebook to the calendar in the back. Today, Tuesday January 18th, it was four days. Four days. Four days, four years. I still couldn't handle it. It seemed like only last year we were sharing laughs and I couldn't believe it was four years since I last saw his face.

"Are you ok?" He asked. I nodded trying to say something but no words came out. "Are you sure Ava? Did I do something?" I shook my head.

"No... no. It's just something important is coming up that I kind of forgot about until just now." He nodded.

Suddenly my cell phone began to ring.

It was Ali's school. I answered it in a panic.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Is this Ava? Aliah's mother?" I was worried, "Yes this is, why? Is everything ok?"

"This is the nurse, she is complaining of having a stomach ache but it doesn't seem like she has one. Her teacher says this came on randomly, do you or can someone come get her?"

"Well I can't get her, I am at school. But you can call my mom, she is listed as an emergency contact, my sister too, but please don't bother my sister if you don't have to. She has twins at home and her husband works, so just let Ali stay there for a while if need be."

"Well you are her mother, you know whats best for your daughter."

"Thank you," and with that we both hung up. I was now getting weird looks from this boy.

"What exactly was that? Did I hear that lady say daughter? Ali? What is this Ava?"

I knew it would happen, people who don't know me, freak out, to say the least. They think I'm awesome but they have no idea about Ali and then they do and hate me. They won't even take the time to listen.

"Please, let me explain." He nodded and so I began my story, the story I planned on not telling him until I got to know him a little better, at least his first name.

"... and so now I am a single mother to a four year old girl. The reason I kind of was upset for a minute before is because he died four years ago Friday." He looked compassionate. He hugged me close and I took in his outdoorsy scent once again, only stronger this time.

"Look I should get going, my next class is in the last building, I can't miss that class too. But thank you for keeping me company! It was nice." He smiled. "My next class is in the next building, at least let me walk with you." I nodded. He stood up and I did too.

Grabbing my bag I walked next to him. He opened the door to the building for me and we walked through to keep warm, not realizing I still had his sweatshirt.

"Do you want this back?" He shook his head. "No you keep it, stay warm." I smiled a small smile.

As we continued to walk he shared jokes and we laughed. Our hands gently brushed each other and it felt funny, like I was doing something wrong. Was I? He was a friend right? Just a friend.

As we walked from one building to the other he kept opening the doors for me. It was very nice. On our last walk out in the windy Californian air he grabbed my hand and held it. I hadn't told him about Justin but I didn't have to right?

We ended up at the door a few minutes early.

"Well I should get in there, but thank you for everything, leaving class, don't do again if it should happen again." He nodded. "Ava,"

"Yes?" He smiled. "Thank you, for telling me the truth about your life, a little part of it anyway." I smiled. "She actually is everything, she is a big part of me, and the person that I am today." I decided to take off his sweatshirt.

"Here, thank you though." He nodded again and I decided to step into the lecture hall.

"Landon." He said before I could open the door, "Huh?" I looked at him, "You didn't know my name and you never asked. It's Landon Mitchell." I smiled.

"Well then goodbye, Landon." He smiled and nodded as he walked off to his next class. Unsure of what had occurred in his mind, I smiled as I stepped into the room.