Love Is Hard

Two and a half weeks later, the day Justin was coming home. We had talked to each other and facetimed a lot but it was nothing like seeing him in person. We had spent Valentines Day apart and although it was horrible, he promised to make it up to me.

Ali wanted to come but she had school and I didn't have classes until later on. As I arrived at the airport I could see paparazzi waiting for the next big star to arrive. How did they know about everyone's locations? It creeped me out.

Landon still didn't know about Justin, he hadn't met Ali, although he begged a few times. I didn't want her to get confused. I didn't want to get confused.

If Ali somehow liked Landon more than Justin I knew it would be difficult for me to explain to her what was happening, it would be even difficult for myself to know what to do in that situation. I still loved Justin but something in me told me I wasn't ready for the relationship to move forward. But I didn't do anything with Landon so I was just confusing myself.

Walking into the airport and baggage claim I waited. Waited for the one that I knew I loved. I walked around seeing all the people in LAX grabbing the bags that belonged to them, hugging their loved ones, little kids running up to their parents. I pulled out my phone, 10 minutes. Only ten minutes until I could see him.

Minutes seemed to pass quickly, but I don't think they did. I looked back at my phone, two minutes, thats all it had been. I just wanted to see him. I didn't want to wait anymore.

Standing there admiring the people walking by with their suitcases, I waited some more. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I quickly turned around, Justin was standing there, a smile on his face. He put his two hands on my sides. "I love you, Ava." I smiled, "Kiss me you fool."

We kissed as if we hadn't in forever, and we hadn't, almost two months, that was a long time apart. He pulled away. "I love you." He said it again and I think he expected me to say it back. But when I opened my mouth to say it, I couldn't.

"I..." He looked at me, "You know I know about that guy. Jess told me. I can't believe you would cheat on me." I looked at him wide eyed. I just wanted to cry.

I woke up in a cold sweat. Tears streaming down my face. My mind had been playing these situations in my head over and over again. Today was the day I had to tell Justin about what happened that Friday night. I didn't know what to say, how to bring it up, or what would be left of us.

I didn't even want to kiss him, it just happened. Twice.

**Two and a half weeks ago (Friday)**

As I arrived at Tony P's, I was late. Traffic was jammed and I knew it would be. I had joined the table and realized that everyone was staring at me.

"Hey sorry I'm late. Traffic was horrible." Emma glared at me.

"Well we ordered our meals already." Wasn't it polite to wait for the last person to get there before ordering or was that just me?

"Oh, well I will just wait until the waitress comes over to order then." I looked down at the menu. Deciding what I would order.

I decided on the tomato basil pasta. The other people at the table all sparked up conversation about college and I sat there with nothing to talk about. I checked my phone to see if my mom had texted me. I had asked her if she wanted me to take Ali because of her IVF today, but she said Scott would take care of her while she rested.

The waitress came over with everyone's drinks and so I ordered my food. Landon finally decided to stop his sports conversation with Conor and started one with me.

"How are you?" He asked and I felt like at minute I would break down in tears. Trying to stay positive all day was truly difficult. "Fine." I stirred the straw around in my water, distracting myself from any eye contact.

"Are you ok?" I nodded trying not to be emotional. I could tell he really cared. Justin only texted me this morning.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." I stood up walking off. I suddenly felt my hand pulled and I was turned around.

Landon's soft blue eyes stared at me, mouth slightly opened, I looked behind him only to see that no one could see us.

His face got closer and closer and then suddenly, there was no space between our faces. Our lips touched and the kiss was something different than anything I had with Justin.

"Ava. I really like you." I shook my head. "I can't." I ran into the bathroom as fast as I could. The door opened a short time later. Wiping my eyes I looked to see Emma.

"You know I know everything right?" I looked at her confused.

"I know that you have a daughter, I know you are dating Justin Bieber. You have been in countless magazines. Does Landon know?" I shook my head.

"He knows about Ali but I can't tell him about Justin, although at this point I should. I can't just lead him on. I can't just not tell him about Justin."

She shook her head, "You know why I'm such a bitch to you? It's because you seem to just get everything handed to you on a silver platter, I don't, I'm not like you. I'm not a slut who dates famous people." I shook my head.

"Do you even know that I don't get things handed to me easily? If you really knew everything you would know why Ali is so important." She looked at me wide eyed.

"You mean cause some guy in high school knocked you up. She was an accident, wasn't she?" I glared at her. "You don't know anything about me. I should just go." She nodded, "It would be better if you left." I nodded wiping the last tears from my eyes.

Going back to the table and saying goodbye wasn't difficult. Landon had noticed something was wrong. As I grabbed my bag and said my goodbyes he followed me out the door.

"What Landon?" I shook my head as he just kept staring at me.

"What?" I asked getting mad.

"Why are you leaving?" I shook my head, "Why don't you go ask Emma? She knows more about me than I do I guess." He looked at me, "What do you mean?" I shook my head once again, "She thinks she knows me, but she doesn't. So I'm just going to leave to make it easier on everyone."

"Don't leave Ava." He pleaded. "Do you know anything about me?" I asked walking over to sit down.

He joined, "What are you talking about?" I slightly smiled. "Look I have a boyfriend, we've been dating for eight months and he isn't just any guy. It's Justin Bieber." He didn't say anything. "I should get back inside."

"Wait, Landon." He shook his head. "No! I was the fool for falling for the girl who I thought liked me just as much. I am a fool. I am the idiot in this situation. I will leave you alone now. Sorry for being such a bother." What was he saying?

"Landon!" I yelled so everyone near me was looking at me. He turned and looked at me. I walked towards him.

"You aren't an idiot. I like you but as a friend, and I need friends. Please." He looked at me, just staring. I went on to the tips of my toes, I was closer to his face this way.

"Landon? Please!" He smiled ever so slightly and spoke quietly, "Kiss me." Did he not just hear anything I said? "Kiss me and if you feel nothing I promise we will still be friends. I just want to kiss you one more time if I don't get another chance." I understood where he was coming from but did I really want to wreck what I had with Justin?

"I..." Before I could say anything he was kissing me. This kiss was different, it wasn't as sudden. It was a kiss, and it wasn't that bad. But what was I thinking? I had Justin. I enjoyed it while it lasted.

When we pulled apart Landon smiled. "Look I should just get going, tell everyone I said goodnight. Have fun tonight alright?" He nodded and I returned home.

And picking Justin up at the airport today did not sound fun at this point because either he wouldn't care or he would get pissed and knowing Justin it would be the latter.

Getting up and getting ready was difficult. I didn't know how I would tell Justin. But was it my fault? Of course it was, if I wasn't late for class that day Landon would barely know I exist.

My mom was watching Ali once again and she was actually really happy to, she really enjoyed watching her for the night. I think she just missed having a kid around all the time.

As I got ready to go to the airport I put on a cute outfit. I decided to put on my black heels just because. I didn't really want to but I decided to.

As I straightened my hair and put on a little makeup I got a text.

Hey, haven't seen you in a while. Today's the day Justin comes home right? I figure you might want the night to yourselves but tomorrow night want to go out for dinner with me and Levi?

I was quick to reply. She had been so caught up with Lillia and Levi that we had barely talked in the last month or so. I decided to give her her time too. She definitely deserved it.

Yeah I will check with Justin. We have a lot to catch up on, but I will let you know!

I began my drive to the airport. I literally hated to sit in traffic for an hour just to get to the airport. Once I finally arrived I had to park like a mile away. I wasn't just going to wait for Justin outside because then I would continually have to make loops until he came out and with paparazzi and stuff it would not be a fun time.

I walked into the airport and waited for Justin in the baggage claim area. I pulled out my phone and looked at twitter. The last tweet he sent was that he was coming home, three hours ago.

He was sure to be here any minute and I absolutely could not wait to see him.

"I see a beautiful girl standing all by herself, why is she standing all by herself? Who is she waiting for?" I look up and Justin is standing right in front of me.

I feel tears coming from my eyes. He was finally home, he was finally home.

I jumped into his arms and he hugged me close, kissing me. He put me down and held me close, I felt him kiss the top of my head. "I love you Ava." I couldn't say it, not until I told him what had happened.

Pulling away and wiping the few tears that were falling down my face, I let everything run through my head. He looked at me, "You look beautiful today." I smiled, "Thank you, I wasn't going to wear these," I pointed to my heels. "But I don't like being short standing next to you." He laughed. He took my hand and we walked out of the airport.

When we made it to my car he kissed me again. "How's Ali doing?" He started normal conversations as though he had never left.

"She's good. She really likes school, its crazy. I can't believe she is growing up so quickly." He smiled. I began the crazy drive out of the airport.

"How's your mom?" I asked trying to make small talk. "She's doing good. After New Years she went up to Canada. She is going to be there for a while I think, it doesn't surprise me either."

I narrowed my eyes, "What do you mean?" He didn't answer. I turned to look at him. "Justin, what are you talking about?" I asked once again. He still didn't answer. He didn't look at me or anywhere. He just looked at his phone. "Justin!" He still didn't say a word. "Just drive." He said once I realized people behind me where honking their horns.

Suddenly everything about the car ride had become different. I no longer was happy to see him, he was lying to me, not telling me something, but then again so was I.

If he didn't say anything about his mom, then I technically didn't have to say anything about what happened the couple weeks ago. I began to wonder if this was just an excuse for me so that I wouldn't have to tell Justin.

"Are you hungry?" I asked him as I was still driving. "A little yeah, but I am kind of just tired. Can we just go home? You can make me something to eat maybe?"

"Yeah sure." I said not really sure what else to say. "What have you been doing all this time since I saw you last?" He asked the one question I didn't want to answer.

"Well, going to college, taking care of Ali, being a mom is like the number one priority and then school and then shopping for food and coming home and studying and doing work and then taking care of Ali some more." I felt like he was distant from the conversation.

"Have you talked to anyone recently?" I looked at him confused. "What do you mean?" Out of the corner of my eye I saw him shrug his shoulders. "I don't know, like your sister, Bailey or anyone really? Like aren't you kind of lonely?"

"Really Justin? Can we not talk about this right now? I really don't feel like talking about anything right now. It's like eleven in the morning."

"You know what Ava..." He trailed off. "What Justin?" I was calm, I didn't want to freak out at him.

"Nevermind. Just never... never mind." Now he was just confusing me. "Let's just get home alright?" I nodded and continued to drive. Finally I had pulled into the driveway and as if Justin couldn't get out of the car fast enough he ran up to the front door and unlocked it. Getting out of the car myself and into the house, I realized Justin had missed his home.

"Wow, it looks a lot different with all these toys around here." I noticed some of Ali's dolls and her toy kitchen was there. It hadn't been the last time Justin was here.

"Yeah I was working on stuff the other night and she asked me to play with her and I told her I couldn't and she wanted me to come to her room and I told her I couldn't so she asked if she could bring the kitchen down here and serve me dinner." He laughed.

He walked towards me, "I'm sorry for whatever that was back there, I just wanted to make sure you were ok and not too bored while I was gone."

I smiled, "Well I did miss you. Of course, but it wasn't too bad. I met these new people at school and they seem alright."

"What about Bailey?" I shrugged my shoulders. "She's been with Levi and Lillia since she was born. She invited us out to dinner with them tomorrow night though."

"Yeah we should go." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I took in his scent closely, his embrace was warm and inviting.

He slowly pulled away and kissed me. It was the perfect kiss and it made me happy. But I had to tell him. I couldn't just lie to him anymore.

I pulled away, "Justin, I have to tell you something..." His facial expression changed and I knew mine did too.