When We Were Young
un.
When I was seven years old, I watched my mother break my fathers heart and then laugh in his face when he told her he loved her. That was the moment when I decided that I never wanted to see Carolina Clifford ever again.
I didn't understand it at the time, but I knew that she was not the kind of person that I needed to have in my life. I had my father, and my twin brother, what did I need that heartless woman for?
My father was the single greatest person I had ever known, and I never could figure out what made Carolina turn around and intentionally shatter his heart like she did. However, I did know that Grandmama was entirely correct when she called 'that wretched woman' a female dog. How could I maintain any respect for a woman who had none for the family she left behind?
Michael Gordon Clifford was exactly 2 minutes and 34 seconds older than me, and he never let me forget it. Michael was the most annoying twit i'd ever met, but he was my other half. The main thing we always managed to agree on, was that we absolutely despised the woman who had given birth to us.
Soon after the divorce had been finalized and the two of us flat out refused to attend the remarriage of Carolina, our father sat us down and said something which was imprinted in both of our brains for the next 10 years.
"Little moon, Little star" he said, using the nicknames my mother had always hated "Loving somebody, is about giving them the power to break you, but trusting them not to."
And I distinctly remember the two of us scrunching up our chubby little faces and answering him in unison,
"But papa, I don't understand"
And we didn't at the time, part of me thinks we still didn't understand for a long time to follow.
Michael and I took the advice in two entirely different directions. On the one hand, Michael was completely and wholeheartedly determined to avoid love at any cost, and for some reason, that made him completely irresistable to the opposite sex. Girls flocked to Michael, and it was incredibly rare to see the same girl on his arm for more than two weeks at a time.
I, on the otherhand, had difficulty even looking a boy in the eye, much less being able to date them. I was in love with the idea of love though, and I wanted to have it, no matter what the consequences for it might be.
[&&&]
Monday's were always something of a bloodbath in the Clifford household, with the ever unwelcomed sound of father dearest banging, quite loudly might I add, on my bedroom door before moving to awaken my twin.
"Up and at'em kids! Today's gonna be a great one!" his annoying chirpy voice rang out at ten past six in the morning, I could hear Michael grumbling a collection of profanities in response before he presumably went back to sleep.
Nobody in our family was particularly fond of awakening in the morning, and it took all of my energy to drag my body into my bathroom. After launching my body into a steady stream of blistering hot water and blasting Sum 41 from my phone, I was considerably brighter.
By the time I eventually trotted down the stairs at 7 on the dot, Michael was already onto his fourth cup of coffee. I was halfway through spreading cream cheese onto my bagel when I noticed my twin glaring at me critically.
"What the fuck is that look for?" I very eloquently asked him through a mouthful of bagel.
"What, you couldn't find a top to cover your entire stomach?" he snapped back at me, folding his arms over his chest.
"At least mine doesn't look like I slept in it!" I growled back at him, stepping away from the counter and narrowing my eyes at him.
"Hey! I'll have you know that girls love my style!" He exclaimed indignantly
I couldn't help the scoff that burst out of my lips "Style?! You throw on whatever clothes don't smell like they were washed in sewerahe!"
"Oh and when was the last time you went on a date? Oh that's right! Never!" He sneered at me, a satisfied smirk spread over his overly plump lips.
"Michael, Luna, that'll be quite enough for today" Dad commented as he walked into the kitchen, stealing a bite out of my bagel. "You two had better get going if you want to pick up Calum and Jade before school starts" He continued, making us both groan.
Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I leaned up on tip toes to kiss my dad's cheek softly "Love you papa."
"To the moon and back, Little Moon" it had been a thing between us since Michael and I were kids, it was just something that we'd always done.
Michael handed me a thermos as soon as we were both in my car, that ever-present crooked grin on his face. "I might think green tea with honey is disgusting, but you love it" he mumbled as he fiddled with my radio.
I gave him a grateful smile as I took a long sip, before handing him my phone. "You pick the music today, mister DJ" I offered, our relationship wasn't one which was in any way affectionate, but we showed our appreciation for each other through small yet meaningful favours.
By the time I was pulling up outside Jade's house, we were already blasting Mayday Parade. Jade lived on the nicer side of town, so I reached over and turned down the volume carefully before climbing out.
Jade had been my best friend since she accidentally Macy Greengrass over on the first day of fifth grade, and I loved her to absolute pieces, but punctuality was not her strong point. I was halfway up her driveway when I spotted her attempting to haul a massive canvas out of her front door.
I let out a groan before rushing to help her, she was the greatest artist I had ever seen but my car just didn't have the capacity to haul her pieces. "I'm gonna have to start towing a trailer just for your artwork, Jade" I grumbled to her as we forced it into the trunk of my car.
She grinned at me brightly before sliding into the passenger seat of my car, I noticed a slightly pink tinge to her cheeks as she glanced back to where my twin brother was seated. "Hi Michael, how are you today?"
"Much better now that your lovely face is here" My brother flirted back smoothly and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. He flirted with everybody, but I had yet to see him sincerely like a person for more than how far they could spread their legs.
"Are you finished flirting or shall I text Luke and let him know that we're gonna be late for home room again?" I quipped at the two, drawing an even wider smirk from Michael.
"I can't help it if you have gorgeous friends!" He exclaimed, winking slyly at Jade. I resisted the urge to throw up in my mouth as I followed the ever familiar route to the Hemmings household, glancing between my twin brother and my best friend cautiously.
"Yeah, just keep it PG, alright folks?"
The most wonderful thing about Luke Hemmings was that, unlike my own best friend, he was the most punctual human being I had ever stumbled upon. Every morning, he was waiting outside his house for us to arrive, with a bright and cheerful demeanour to match the ever present grin on his face.
I couldn't stop myself from smiling over my shoulder at him as he climbing into the back seat, that weirdly anxious feeling bubbling up in my stomach as he smiled back at me, before turning to converse with Michael. The two of them had been thick as thieves for a few years now, after having hated each other for a year or so, and Luke was just someone who I was used to being around.
That wasn't to say that I was completely relaxed around him, because he was still a gorgeous, tall and broad shouldered guy who made me weak at the knees - not that I would ever tell Michael that. One of the reasons I didn't date, was because Michael scared off most of the guys I spoke to.
I was broken out of my reverie by the boy in question piping up from behind me, "Luna! Did you hear about the You Me At Six gig next month?" he exclaimed, immediately drawing my attention as I pulled into a parking space. It was a good thing too, seeing as I nearly dislocated my neck from spinning around so fast.
"What? No way! Who's supporting?!" I very nearly screeched as I got my bag out of the trunk, turning to talk to Luke excitedly. One of the things that I could talk about for hours with him, was the different bands we were into, in fact I quite often found myself sitting outside some raging house party with Luke and talking about bands until Michael came stumbling out.
"Tonight Alive, duh. It's gonna be the sickest gig ever!" He grinned down at me while we walked into school and I tried to focus on something other than how pink his lips looked.
Whoever said that high school was easy?
I didn't understand it at the time, but I knew that she was not the kind of person that I needed to have in my life. I had my father, and my twin brother, what did I need that heartless woman for?
My father was the single greatest person I had ever known, and I never could figure out what made Carolina turn around and intentionally shatter his heart like she did. However, I did know that Grandmama was entirely correct when she called 'that wretched woman' a female dog. How could I maintain any respect for a woman who had none for the family she left behind?
Michael Gordon Clifford was exactly 2 minutes and 34 seconds older than me, and he never let me forget it. Michael was the most annoying twit i'd ever met, but he was my other half. The main thing we always managed to agree on, was that we absolutely despised the woman who had given birth to us.
Soon after the divorce had been finalized and the two of us flat out refused to attend the remarriage of Carolina, our father sat us down and said something which was imprinted in both of our brains for the next 10 years.
"Little moon, Little star" he said, using the nicknames my mother had always hated "Loving somebody, is about giving them the power to break you, but trusting them not to."
And I distinctly remember the two of us scrunching up our chubby little faces and answering him in unison,
"But papa, I don't understand"
And we didn't at the time, part of me thinks we still didn't understand for a long time to follow.
Michael and I took the advice in two entirely different directions. On the one hand, Michael was completely and wholeheartedly determined to avoid love at any cost, and for some reason, that made him completely irresistable to the opposite sex. Girls flocked to Michael, and it was incredibly rare to see the same girl on his arm for more than two weeks at a time.
I, on the otherhand, had difficulty even looking a boy in the eye, much less being able to date them. I was in love with the idea of love though, and I wanted to have it, no matter what the consequences for it might be.
[&&&]
Monday's were always something of a bloodbath in the Clifford household, with the ever unwelcomed sound of father dearest banging, quite loudly might I add, on my bedroom door before moving to awaken my twin.
"Up and at'em kids! Today's gonna be a great one!" his annoying chirpy voice rang out at ten past six in the morning, I could hear Michael grumbling a collection of profanities in response before he presumably went back to sleep.
Nobody in our family was particularly fond of awakening in the morning, and it took all of my energy to drag my body into my bathroom. After launching my body into a steady stream of blistering hot water and blasting Sum 41 from my phone, I was considerably brighter.
By the time I eventually trotted down the stairs at 7 on the dot, Michael was already onto his fourth cup of coffee. I was halfway through spreading cream cheese onto my bagel when I noticed my twin glaring at me critically.
"What the fuck is that look for?" I very eloquently asked him through a mouthful of bagel.
"What, you couldn't find a top to cover your entire stomach?" he snapped back at me, folding his arms over his chest.
"At least mine doesn't look like I slept in it!" I growled back at him, stepping away from the counter and narrowing my eyes at him.
"Hey! I'll have you know that girls love my style!" He exclaimed indignantly
I couldn't help the scoff that burst out of my lips "Style?! You throw on whatever clothes don't smell like they were washed in sewerahe!"
"Oh and when was the last time you went on a date? Oh that's right! Never!" He sneered at me, a satisfied smirk spread over his overly plump lips.
"Michael, Luna, that'll be quite enough for today" Dad commented as he walked into the kitchen, stealing a bite out of my bagel. "You two had better get going if you want to pick up Calum and Jade before school starts" He continued, making us both groan.
Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I leaned up on tip toes to kiss my dad's cheek softly "Love you papa."
"To the moon and back, Little Moon" it had been a thing between us since Michael and I were kids, it was just something that we'd always done.
Michael handed me a thermos as soon as we were both in my car, that ever-present crooked grin on his face. "I might think green tea with honey is disgusting, but you love it" he mumbled as he fiddled with my radio.
I gave him a grateful smile as I took a long sip, before handing him my phone. "You pick the music today, mister DJ" I offered, our relationship wasn't one which was in any way affectionate, but we showed our appreciation for each other through small yet meaningful favours.
By the time I was pulling up outside Jade's house, we were already blasting Mayday Parade. Jade lived on the nicer side of town, so I reached over and turned down the volume carefully before climbing out.
Jade had been my best friend since she accidentally Macy Greengrass over on the first day of fifth grade, and I loved her to absolute pieces, but punctuality was not her strong point. I was halfway up her driveway when I spotted her attempting to haul a massive canvas out of her front door.
I let out a groan before rushing to help her, she was the greatest artist I had ever seen but my car just didn't have the capacity to haul her pieces. "I'm gonna have to start towing a trailer just for your artwork, Jade" I grumbled to her as we forced it into the trunk of my car.
She grinned at me brightly before sliding into the passenger seat of my car, I noticed a slightly pink tinge to her cheeks as she glanced back to where my twin brother was seated. "Hi Michael, how are you today?"
"Much better now that your lovely face is here" My brother flirted back smoothly and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. He flirted with everybody, but I had yet to see him sincerely like a person for more than how far they could spread their legs.
"Are you finished flirting or shall I text Luke and let him know that we're gonna be late for home room again?" I quipped at the two, drawing an even wider smirk from Michael.
"I can't help it if you have gorgeous friends!" He exclaimed, winking slyly at Jade. I resisted the urge to throw up in my mouth as I followed the ever familiar route to the Hemmings household, glancing between my twin brother and my best friend cautiously.
"Yeah, just keep it PG, alright folks?"
The most wonderful thing about Luke Hemmings was that, unlike my own best friend, he was the most punctual human being I had ever stumbled upon. Every morning, he was waiting outside his house for us to arrive, with a bright and cheerful demeanour to match the ever present grin on his face.
I couldn't stop myself from smiling over my shoulder at him as he climbing into the back seat, that weirdly anxious feeling bubbling up in my stomach as he smiled back at me, before turning to converse with Michael. The two of them had been thick as thieves for a few years now, after having hated each other for a year or so, and Luke was just someone who I was used to being around.
That wasn't to say that I was completely relaxed around him, because he was still a gorgeous, tall and broad shouldered guy who made me weak at the knees - not that I would ever tell Michael that. One of the reasons I didn't date, was because Michael scared off most of the guys I spoke to.
I was broken out of my reverie by the boy in question piping up from behind me, "Luna! Did you hear about the You Me At Six gig next month?" he exclaimed, immediately drawing my attention as I pulled into a parking space. It was a good thing too, seeing as I nearly dislocated my neck from spinning around so fast.
"What? No way! Who's supporting?!" I very nearly screeched as I got my bag out of the trunk, turning to talk to Luke excitedly. One of the things that I could talk about for hours with him, was the different bands we were into, in fact I quite often found myself sitting outside some raging house party with Luke and talking about bands until Michael came stumbling out.
"Tonight Alive, duh. It's gonna be the sickest gig ever!" He grinned down at me while we walked into school and I tried to focus on something other than how pink his lips looked.
Whoever said that high school was easy?