adore

Longing doesn’t even cover the half of it. Sometimes he catches a glimpse of her on the subway and she’s all he can think about for weeks afterwards....could it be, he wonders. Is it possible that what he was feeling was something akin to obsession? He knows not; and frankly he doesn’t care. It’s a little too late for regrets.

And yet he wonders just what he’ll do, if this innocent little affection of his turned out to be more sinister than he’d first thought. If what he longed for was something darker than a cure for his infatuation...He didn’t want to dwell too long on those kind of thoughts when today was one of those days that he might get lucky, one of those days that he might actually see her.

Those days were rare and far in between. The kind of days he couldn’t plan for because she was always catching him off guard like she could sense the moment he’d given up all hope, just so she could reappear and turn his world upside down again.

He knew that this wasn’t love, even if he was more caught up in this stranger than he’d ever been with anyone else in his life and he knew that he shouldn’t be. Not with this stranger, this girl he didn’t know the name of, yet he couldn’t help but think that strangers were all around and to avoid a stranger would mean avoiding everyone and he was sure that caring for this one wasn’t going to hurt anything. He was fine like this, content even.

So when things began to change, he had a hard time trying to change with them.

And with each day that he was lucky to look upon her, he was taking snapshots in his mind’s eye. Savoring every second and holding his breath for minutes on end, never quite sure of when he’d be able to breathe again.