Keep Away

After racing all the way home, I finally arrived at the house where I ran up the stairs and into my room. I flopped onto my bed, grabbed the pillow nearest to me, pressed it against my face and began to cry. This went on for a solid ten minutes or so, with constant tears streaming down my face. I looked up from my pillow, now darkened with mascara and tears.

I knew it was too good to be true. Even when I manage to find something for the first time that makes me happy, I couldn't attain it. Braiden's rejection weighed heavily on me, like a curse.

My entire body froze as I heard the door to my room creak open. I shot my glance towards the door, expecting Braiden to walk in.

Instead, Connor showed up.

I looked at him in horror, also embarrassed that it's been obvious that I've been crying. Connor's expression wasn't the one I thought it would be. I imagined a smug appearance, along with a sharp laugh, laughing at me for my naivety, believing that it was true love, boasting on how he was right the whole time. Instead, Connor's face was absolutely full of anguish and pity. Instantly, I buried my face back into my pillow and continued on with my shameful crying. He came over to my bed and sat next to me, rubbing my back.

“You were right. This isn't some fairytale.” I sobbed. “This is real life.”

Connor, who stayed silent, continued to rub my back, listening.

“I thought he liked me, I was sure of it. But, I was way off. Way, way, way, way off.” I felt myself crying even harder, crushing the pillow I had my arms around. I mustn’t looked pathetic to Connor and I felt it too, this vulnerability I was showing.

Connor then leaned over and did something I would've never expected. He wrapped his arms around me. I got up from my pillow and stared at him in bewilderment. He looked awkward but continued to hug me, tightening his arms.

“E-Even Riley couldn't tell I wasn't okay,” I whimpered. “How did you?”

I spent the rest of the night crying, letting out all my tears over a boy who didn't feel the same way I did. I spent the night thinking about everything I did wrong and everything I ever misunderstood, while Connor continued to put up with me, a hopeless wreck, his arms wrapped around me.

Xxx

There was a knock on the door and I walked over, dreading to answer it.

“Connor! Trinity?” Braiden's voice called from outside. “I need to talk to you.”

I took a deep breath and answered the door, holding back to urge to punch Braiden right in the gut. Instead, I forced a smile and replied, “Oh Braiden. What are you doing here?”

“I...I saw Trinity run home after what happened....and I saw you running after her. And I wanted to know if she's okay.”

“Okay?” I echoed. “How can anyone be okay after that whole ordeal?”

“She told you?”

“She didn't have to. I could already tell. You know what she did Braiden? She cried herself to sleep.”

“I'm sorry, I - “

“Did you say that to her, after you rejected her?”

“Of course I did! I meant it too!”

“Don't tell me you rejected her, just because everyone viewed her as the social reject of the school!?”

“Of course not!” Braiden's face grew hurt. “Did you think all the things I said to her or acted, was a lie? I like her, I really do.”

“Then why did you reject her!?” I bellowed. Braiden stumbled back and in realization, I gasped at my sudden tone. Why did I seem so angry? So hurt? I had promised myself that I wouldn't care, but that didn't work out for me very well.

“Connor, I...I've thought about it. Having a relationship with Trinity. At times, she would make me feel so...brave and wanted, you know? The time we went on the roller coaster together and she held my hand, no girl has ever done that for me. She wasn't making fun of me or feeling disgusted, she was comforting me even though she was scared too. As for the wanted part, she's just so caring and sweet towards me, I felt like I didn't deserve it, but her smile makes me feel better. All the time. And she's cute. She's just so cute.”

As I heard all this, I realized that this was the first time that Braiden had been so open about his feelings. The Braiden who kept to himself, was telling me that Trinity was literally the holy light to his dark life.

“But...because of that...I realized that she is like an older sister to me. I know it sounds weird, but I just feel like she helps me guide my life. She's always looking out for me and she never stops smiling at me. That is why I couldn't accept her feelings. These sisterly feelings towards her went a little over than my feelings of admiration towards her.”

“So, you're saying that...”

“Yes Connor. I did have a crush on her.”

“Well at least it's better than not fully returning her feelings.” I sighed.

“Did she really cry herself to sleep?” Braiden asked, looking incredibly guilty.

“Yeah. She was crying really hard too.”

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make her cry. I never wanted her to cry.”

“I know. I never want to see her cry too.”

“I guess, I should leave.” Braiden rocked on his heels. “I don't want her to wake up suddenly and see me.”

“Maybe you should lay low, until she calms down.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Braiden turned to leave, but stopped abruptly. “Oh. There's another reason why I had to say no.”

“What?”

“I didn't want to steal her away from you.”

“Wait!” Connor ran into the dark, where a blast of cold wind cut across his cheek. Braiden who was known to walk fast stopped again and turned around.“What are you talking about?”

“I would feel guilty if I just took her from you, without considering your feelings.”

“What feelings!? Are you saying that I like her!?”

“Don't you?”

“Well, why would you say that!?”

Braiden raised an eyebrow. “It's kinda obvious.”

“No! No! You're making a mistake! I don't like her like that!” I had no idea why, but I felt sweat forming at the corners of my forehead, although it was deathly cold outside.

“Thomas and I think so. Riley is starting to suspect too.”

“What? Why?”

“You may be trying to pretend that you don't care, but you have so much sincerity in your eyes. Anyone who looks directly at you can see it. In fact, you're doing it right now.”

“What? Right now?” I took out my phone and stared at my reflection, barely visible in the dark. “What?”

“Are you sure that you don't like Trinity? I think you might actually love her.”

With that, Braiden walked away in the dark and I was left, standing there in a daze.

Falling in love with Trinity? Since when? Yeah sure, she's cute and sometimes she can be pretty...cool. But I just hated the way she acted. She always pulls off that cynical act, complaining that she's alone, but she's not. She may have been alone in the past, but she's got people who care about her now. Riley, Braiden, Thomas, Toby, Mom, Dad, Captain, and now me. She always looks sad and she's always saying how she doesn't deserve happiness because of her hard life. She needs to get a grip and appreciate what people are trying to do for her. She's different from anyone I've ever meet. She writes in her free time and often has that far away look in her eyes. When she smiles, it's rare, but it's just so uplifting. That smile makes me wanna make her smile all the time. It's a beautiful smile too. Trinity, who seems so afraid of everything around her, should stop her act because I'll be the one to protect her. I'll be the one to protect her, because -

Feeling the goosebumps crawling up my skin from the cold and suddenly feeling tired, I slowly went back inside the house.