Keep Away

When I woke up this morning, I had an urge to see Trinity.

After that confrontation with Braiden, his words stuck throughout my head all night. The fact that I apparently had a crush on Trinity, made me physically sick. It's not like she wasn't a likely candidate for anyone to date, but why would someone like me, out of all people, have a crush on her?

I had no idea why, but I found myself dragging my feet all the way to her room and knocking on her door.

“Yo Trinity, you all right?” I tapped again, lightly, and waited for a response. When she didn't answer, I casually opened her door and peaked through the crack. I saw her lying face down on her bed, covered in pillows. “Trinity?” She didn't reply again. Worried, I ran over to her and shook her shoulders. “Trinity!”

Instantly she sat up, prominent messy hair and tired eyes that cried all night, were taring at me with an annoyed expression. “What.”

“Sorry, I thought you were - ”

“What? You thought I killed myself or something?”

“I mean, well, you didn't respond, so...”

“You're an idiot.” She responded flatly, smacking my head with nearby pillow.

“This is a dangerous weapon,” I snatched the pillow away from her and threw it in the corner. “So, are you all right? You know, from last night?”

“Not really.” She replied, falling back into bed.

“No Trinity!” I gently took her shoulders and made her sit up again. “You gotta get over it, okay?”

“Easy for you to say.”

“You're right. I don't know what it's like. But, I know that I don't want you to be sad anymore. You look so much better when you smile, so stop - ” I bit my lip. “making me worried.”

Trinity stared at me in bemusement, pressing her lips together. “You told me that on the Ferris wheel.”

“Yeah,” I started to feel uneasy and looked away.. “So what?”

“So, you meant then?”

“Of course I meant it. Why? Did you think I was lying?”

“Yeah,” She murmured, moving closer to me. Somehow I could feel feel her breath brush against my cheek, sending a shiver down my spine. “So, you like my smile?”

“I didn't said anything like that.”

“But you told me I look better when I smile.”

“Well yeah, because no one wants to see someone who just frowns all the time!”

“And you're worried too? You're really worried?”

“Of course I am. You're my friend.”

“Friend? I thought we had a truce.”

“That means I wanted to stop arguing with you and be friends!” That shut Trinity up. I looked away, running a nervous hand through my hair. “Anyway, I wanted to cheer you up. Where do you wanna go?”

“What?”

“I'm treating you somewhere.”

“Why?” I almost groaned out loud because Trinity just kept asking question after question. She wasn't understanding that I was trying to make her feel better. I knew that she thought I was trying to to trick her.

“How many times do I have to tell you? I felt bad that - “

“I know. But, do you really wanna go and treat me?”

“Yes I do. Now pick a place. But not some place far away, remember I still can't drive yet and we have to um....take a bus.”

“I don't wanna go anywhere. I wanna stay home.”

“Look Trinity, it's not healthy for you to stay home and sulk.”

“No, I wanna just stay home and watch a movie.”

“Oh.” I blinked in surprise. “What movie do you wanna watch? We have a lot.”

“Surprise me.”

“You're kidding.” My face dropped.

“You said you wanted to cheer me up, right?” She crossed her arms and frowned. “Go ahead and cheer me up.”

I stared at her then walked off to the living room where the cabinet of movies awaited me. How could I possibly know what movie Trinity had in mind? I scanned the rows of DVD's on the shelf before finally settling on one. I hurried back to her room quickly, where she was staring at the ceiling.

“You like these kinds of stuff right?” I held up Pride and Prejudice.

“I've read this book.” She took it from me and examined the cover in awe as if she discovered treasure.

“So you like the movie?”

“I've never watched it.”

“You, out of all people, haven't seen this movie?”

“My house has no DVD's.” She shrugged. “And I'm not sure if this....Keira Knightley person is fit to play Lizzie.”

“Well let's just see.”

And then I did the strangest thing.

I took her hand.

I could tell she was bewildered as I was, because her eyes were full of perplexity.

Hand in hand, I led her downstairs and into the living room. She never protested that our hands were touching, but surprisingly so didn't I.

“I'll go make some popcorn.” I said quickly, letting go of her hand. And as I stood there, while waiting for the popcorn to cook, I thought about all kinds of things. I thought about how I've wanted to cheer Trinity up, about how I held her hand, about what Braiden thought of me. I look over at the hand that held her's. It still longed for another, in particular -

Ding!

The popcorn was ready.

-**-

Pride and Prejudice wasn't a bad movie. It was just very long and boring in some parts. I had subtitles on because I couldn't understand some of the things they were saying, but it was going well. Trinity seemed to enjoy it. Most of the time during the movie, I found myself staring at Trinity whose eyes were fixated in awe on the movie.

“You know Mr. Darcy reminds me of you.” She said out of nowhere.

“Really? How?”

“You're as prideful as him.”

“Well I think Mr. Bingley reminds me of Braiden.”

“Except Braiden is a lot more clever.”

“If I'm Mr. Darcy and Braiden is Mr. Bingley, then who's Lizzie?”

She thought about this for a while, before grinning. “I guess I would be Lizzie, since we're both equally stubborn.”

“If I'm Mr. Darcy and you're Lizzie, does that mean we're a perfect match?”

“Of course not.” She said hastily.

“Why not?” I glanced at her suddenly uneasy face. “You don't imagine us together?”

“Just because I say we have similar personalities to these characters, means it's our destiny to end up together.” She snapped. Then everything grew quiet again as we watched the movie.

“I love you.” said Mr. Darcy, giving Lizzie a hard, yet tender, stare. “Most ardently.”

“What is ardently?” I asked, trying to ease the tension.

“It means passionately.” she said.

“Oh.”

“Hey Connor, have you ever been in a relationship?”

“Several times.” I gave her a questioning look. “Why?”

“Just wondering.” Her eyes were still fixed on the TV, but she continued to talk. “Were you ever in love?”

I stared down at my twiddling hands for the longest time before replying quietly, “Once.”

“I can't ever imagine you being in love.”

“I'm not as heartless as you think.” I paused the movie and sighed exasperatedly. “We were dating for a year.”

“Were?”

“She moved away to California, but even then we decided to keep a long distance relationship. Everything was going well, we would Skype and call everyday. Sometimes we would mail things to each other.” I looked up at Trinity and met her pitying eyes.

“What happened?”

“She cheated.”

“Connor, I'm sorry.”

“No, don't say sorry. I don't care anymore, so it's all good.” I quickly changed the subject. “How many relationships have you been in?”

“I've never been in a relationship before.” Trinity quietly replied, embarrassed.

“Then how do you write about love, if you've never experienced it?”

“I may have not been in a relationship before, but I've been in love several times.”

“Not possible.” I scoffed.

“And may I ask, why not?”

“I just think that love is a very special thing. And if it's for another person, then it's not meant to be passed around.” I looked back at Trinity, who was now staring at me with such wide eyes, then looked away again. “Hey I've been thinking; about how your main character is set to die at the end of your novel.”

“What about it?”

“If your main characters are in love, why don't you give them a happy ending?”

“It's unlikely. Her cancer - “

“So? People overcome cancer. I'm just saying, if these two people are in love then you should give them a miracle. They deserve the ending they need.” I paused to take a handful of popcorn. “Besides, you control the characters, their story, their actions, everything about them. There's no reason to make their lives miserable. Who wants to read such a depressing book anyway?”

Trinity grew quiet for a moment. “I hadn't thought of it like that.”

“Just because you're tragic, doesn't mean your stories have to be.”

“I'm tragic?”

“I believe that you can find absolute happiness.” I reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Don't give up, alright?”

She stared at me for a long bewildering while, before pressing her hand against my forehead. “I think Pride and Prejudice completely changed you.”

I knocked her hand away. “Jeez Trinity, what do you think I'm made of? Pure hate?”

“And a tad bit narcissism.” She chuckled. Then she moved closer to me, took my arm and laid her head on my shoulder.

There were so many things I wanted to ask her when that happened. I wanted to ask her, “What are you doing?” and “Why are you doing that?”

But, at that moment, I swear I felt my heart swell.

And it was the best feeling I've felt in a while.