‹ Prequel: In Over My Head
Sequel: P.S I'm Dying, ›
Status: Finished(:
Loving The Jerk Who Might Have Feelings
It Came To Me. I Think They Call It An Epiphany and That’s a Big Word
Alexander Damian Winters, son of Damian Jesse James and Mindy Alexia Winters, passed away on the night of April 9th that year. He was my lover, soul mate, closest friend, and, at one point, a strong rival.
Alex came in and out of comas for the longest time, but we never got to have another conversation after that first one.
My mom found me after the funeral curled up in bed with a faraway look in my eyes. She sat down on the edge and stroked my side soothingly, “Hi, Baby, how are you holding up?” her voice was smooth like velvet but provided no comfort.
I felt like was detached from my body. I was numb and couldn’t find any emotions inside of me.
Alex’s death left a hollowness inside of me, like if he scooped up my insides and took them with him into the Great Beyond.
From my peripheral vision I saw her take of a necklace. No, not just any necklace. That’s the necklace Dad gave her before he left. It’s silver and the pendent is a lot of ovals overlapping. It shimmers and moves like water. She places it on the palm of my open hand, then she curls my fingers with her own.
“This is the symbol for eternal love. Your dad gave it to me to show that’d he’d love me forever, even if he couldn’t come back, his mother gave it to his sister to signify that even though she wasn’t mentally stable, she’d always love her no matter what. Now I’m giving it to you as a reminder that love exists in many shapes and forms—“
“I can’t love anyone, mom, not like I love Alex” I intentionally used the present tense verb.
“I know, sweetheart, but maybe, one day, you’ll have a child and you’ll love them as much as I love you. Life passes by whether you want it to or not. The only thing you can control is the way you take things. Athena, you are smart, beautiful, and strong. I have complete faith in you”
But although my mother’s words touch me deeply all I can think about is her first sentence, “...you’ll have a child and you’ll love them as much as I love you...”
Child...
I have to take care of her. She needs me. I sit up abruptly and clutch the necklace in my palm, “You’re right, Mom, about everything”
She starts, “I am?”
I stare at her with utter seriousness.
“I’m moving to Switzerland”
Alex came in and out of comas for the longest time, but we never got to have another conversation after that first one.
My mom found me after the funeral curled up in bed with a faraway look in my eyes. She sat down on the edge and stroked my side soothingly, “Hi, Baby, how are you holding up?” her voice was smooth like velvet but provided no comfort.
I felt like was detached from my body. I was numb and couldn’t find any emotions inside of me.
Alex’s death left a hollowness inside of me, like if he scooped up my insides and took them with him into the Great Beyond.
From my peripheral vision I saw her take of a necklace. No, not just any necklace. That’s the necklace Dad gave her before he left. It’s silver and the pendent is a lot of ovals overlapping. It shimmers and moves like water. She places it on the palm of my open hand, then she curls my fingers with her own.
“This is the symbol for eternal love. Your dad gave it to me to show that’d he’d love me forever, even if he couldn’t come back, his mother gave it to his sister to signify that even though she wasn’t mentally stable, she’d always love her no matter what. Now I’m giving it to you as a reminder that love exists in many shapes and forms—“
“I can’t love anyone, mom, not like I love Alex” I intentionally used the present tense verb.
“I know, sweetheart, but maybe, one day, you’ll have a child and you’ll love them as much as I love you. Life passes by whether you want it to or not. The only thing you can control is the way you take things. Athena, you are smart, beautiful, and strong. I have complete faith in you”
But although my mother’s words touch me deeply all I can think about is her first sentence, “...you’ll have a child and you’ll love them as much as I love you...”
Child...
I have to take care of her. She needs me. I sit up abruptly and clutch the necklace in my palm, “You’re right, Mom, about everything”
She starts, “I am?”
I stare at her with utter seriousness.
“I’m moving to Switzerland”
♠ ♠ ♠
Yep, there's gonna be another story! :D Last one i promise, though :)