Loving The Jerk Who Might Have Feelings

Three weeks later

I fly into my bed and just lay there until my breathing goes back to normal. He’d asked me out!! AJ! The hottest guy in junior year!

I sigh happily but then Lilith comes in. It’s been three weeks since she’s talked to me directly.

I don’t think she’s mad at me, but she doesn’t like me either way. The feeling’s mutual, in my perspective. But when Nate met her last week, he apparently ‘fell in love with her’. Now whenever we talk, it’s about how Lilith looks amazing in purple. God; how gross.

She barely takes off her shoes before she jumps into her bed and falls straight asleep.

I roll my eyes; which reminds me, I need to have a talk with Nate, what’s his room number? 295 I think?

I shrug out of my uniform and put on a comfortable pair of blue sweat pants and a matching jacket on top of a white tank top. It’s getting colder outside the more it gets towards Halloween. I’ve heard there’s going to be a dance, and everyone is completely excited.

I exit the room and walk down the stairs into the gaming room, the one with the snack bar and so on. I see Arrow there in a corner, cuddled up with her Peter. I’ve began to think of him as her property for some reason. As I pass I suddenly get the instinct to smile and ask, “What’s up?” but I shrug that aside and continue going; they certainly wouldn’t want me to interrupt.

I breathe in the cold air deeply when I get outside.

Then I jog towards the boy’s dorm. It takes me a good five minutes but I’m there none-the-less. It’s exactly the same as the girls’ inside but kind of messier.

I walk through their gaming area noticing a lot of making-out couples and head up the stairs.
When I find room 295 I knock slightly. No answer; great. I knock again louder.

Winters comes out of the room, “Yeah?” he says angrily. Great, he doesn’t have a shirt on.

I sigh, “Never mind, must be the wrong room, see you”

But he interrupts me, “I’m guessing you’re looking for Nate, he’s out; do you guys have a thing going on or something?”

I roll my eyes and I’m just about to tell him that we’re twins, so yeah you might call that something, but a boy comes up to us. He’s a Jamaican guy with liquid gold for iris’s and honey-brown skin. He has dreadlocks running down his head stopping short of his shoulders and he’s taller than me by a foot. A guitar case is strapped to his back, which I can tell is very masculine through his stripped white-blue tee.

He gives me an easy going smile, showing off brilliant, straight, white teeth, “Hi, the name’s Joshua, Joshua Hanson,” his voice is as smooth as silk and as hypnotizing as any angel could ever wish to be.

I blink for a second before I croak out with my stupid voice, “Athena”

Joshua smiles wider, grabs my hand gently and before I know it, he places a kiss on it, “You are beauty personified…” he sings softly.

A shiver trails up my arm leaving behind goose bumps, I have instantly melted, and my legs have turned to jelly.

That’s the second time a boy has kissed my hand, but AJ could never have done it that romantically.

Then Alex slugs Joshua on the shoulder, “Dude, why do you have to go mesmerizing every girl you see?”

Joshua grins, “Why do you have to do every girl you see”

Winters rolls his eyes and turns to me, “Well aren’t you going to leave?”

Then Joshua slugs Winters back, “And that’s why you can’t get a girlfriend, mystery solved,” he laughs.

I sigh, “Well I better go then, see you around Joshua”

“You can bet on it” he smiles slyly at me.

My heart flutters. Ah, musicians, aren’t they the greatest?

I walk away and head back to my dorm room.

Somehow on the way back Winters catches up to me. Still shirtless, even though, I’m pretty sure there’s a rule against that “What do you want?” I ask grimly.

“Oh nothing much, so how’s ‘Lil’?” Winters smirks.

I groan, “He told you, didn’t he?” I know because, that’s what Nate calls Lilith, even though she thinks it’s annoying.

Alex smiles at me, his snakebites glinting menacingly, “Yep, Nate spilled his guts to me, and I think it’s rather tragic, don’t you? I mean, since she’s so hung up on me, and if I really wanted to I could, y’know, give ‘Lil’ the privilege of being Alex Winter’s girlfriend,” he shrugs with a smirk.

I gasp at him, “W-wait what? You would actually do such a thing? W—“

He rolls his eyes at me as we continue walking and I know this is another one of his games.

He just fucking loves those, doesn’t he?

“Oh don’t look at in a negative way, Babe; Lilith simply needs someone that understands how shitty her life is and all that crap. And I can give her the escape she needs, it’s like a charity case, really, I think you should thank me”

I feel the rage boiling inside me, “You cruel, cruel bastard, you know Nate really likes her! Can’t you give him a break? You don’t even like Lilith!” I shake my head in outrage, “God, why are you planning to hurt Nate? I thought you two were friends!”

He laughs, “I guess, but I’m not planning anything, I don’t really want to do it; I’m just letting you know I can”

“Why?” I ask in disbelief.

“Because I can see how close you and Nate are, no matter what he says, and it gives me an advantage over you, and well I like that, so if you ever try to cross me or try to do anything bad to me, just know that I have the power of breaking Nate in my hands, give it a thought, won’t you?” then he smirks and jogs back.

I let out a scream. That fucking asshole! I hate him! I ABSOLUTELY HATE HIM!!

_____________________

I cancel the date with AJ knowing I am in absolutely no mood to make-out with him like I had planned to. Then I head back to my room.

What the hell is Winters playing at? Why is he so worried about what I may or may not do to him?

Or maybe he’s not. Maybe he knows I am no threat to him because, well as far as I can tell, he’s untouchable. But then, why threaten me?

Then it comes to me. He just wants to torture me; to make me feel week and paranoid.
I shake my head, I hate him so much!!

He is a true sadist; I bet even his parents can’t stand him!

That’s when I can’t take it anymore. The stress of leaving my friends behind, leaving my home behind, leaving myself behind, back in New York and coming to this fucked up place, finally gets to me.
_________________________

Surprisingly Joshua’s the one that found me crying underneath a tree that’s so far out; I can literally reach out and touch the wired fence that keeps us all prisoners here.

“Hello, Sugarplum” he says brightly, taking a seat in front of me.

“Hey” I sigh, looking upon him tiredly.

He takes out his guitar from its case and puts it in position in his arms. I’m not into instruments so I have no idea whether his guitar is supposed to be cool or not, but at the moment I did not care.

Joshua then began to play his guitar and started singing. I stare at him in shock.

“I'm fallin' in love but it's fallin' apart.

I need to find my way back to the start. When we were in love oh things were better than they are.

Let me back into, into your arms… Into your arms…” I sniffle and start to sway with the beautiful music.

“Oh she's slippin' away. I always freeze when I'm thinking of words to say. All the things she does make it seem like love.

If it's just a game, then I like the way that we play.” Suddenly I think of Alex Winters but I shrug him away, I want to enjoy this moment.

“I'm fallin' in love but it's fallin' apart. I need to find my way back to the start. I'm fallin' in love but it's fallin' apart. I need to find my way back to the start. When we were in love; oh things were better than they are. Let me back into; into your arms… into your arms… into your arms… into your arms…”

When the music stops I sigh deeply, “Wow, I had no idea you were such a great singer”

He smirks at me, “I amaze myself as well”

I laugh at him and slowly reach my arm towards his guitar. He doesn’t stop me as I pluck one of the strands. The sound vibrates for a while then stops.

“That’s a D-note,” he says but I shake my head, “I don’t want to learn music, I want to hear it, what was that song, don’t tell me you wrote it?”

He shakes head with a smile, “Oh I wish, but no, The Maine did, it’s called Into Your Arms”
I smile slightly, yeah, that’s what I need right now; a hug.

But instead of asking Joshua to give me one I start to stand up. He grabs my arm and pushes me back down, but rather gently. Making me look him in the eye he asks me, “So what’s wrong?”

Usually I HATE it when someone asks me that and anyone who knows me well knows that because really, if I wanted to talk about what was wrong I’d ask them to listen, don’t you think? I’m not that attention seeking that I need to mope around until someone notices I’m upset. That’s just stupid. But the way Joshua says it; I don’t know. It’s not the usual asking-out-of-pity or concerned fellow human; he asks it in a way that is totally laid back but at the same time completely caring.

In a way that makes me feel safe, no matter what I choose to say. It’s weird but at the moment he reminds me of Joy. But I shake that thought away.

“Nothing, well everything, well I don’t really know. Can I be confused?” I mumble.

Joshua chuckles, “You’re asking permission to be confused? Love, I think you already are”

My lips twist in an involuntary smile, God what was it about this guy that made me happy?

“Well, I guess I just hate this place. I miss New York City; things were much simpler over there. I hate my parents for dragging me back here. I mean it’s the middle of October, couldn’t they just wait till next year?” I sigh. But I know that isn’t true, I don’t hate my parents, they’re just doing what they think is best. Though, they are totally wrong about that.

He cocks an eyebrow at me, “Well aren’t you feisty, you could be my muse, y’know” he looks down at his guitar and plays a tune, “Ohh, Athena, she is so… Granola bar! Duh-Dum!”

I laugh, oh he is so like Joy, “You haven’t happened to have met my sister, Joy, have you?”

Joshua shakes his head, “No, why?”

“’Cause I can tell you guys share a lot of interests” I smile.

He stares at me weirdly, “Okay then, Goddess, my job is done here, you are obviously cheered up, time for me to gofeed my pet frog, later, Love” then he runs off.

I have got to set those two up; they will be such an unusual couple.