The Iceberg Tipping

Torture comes naturally to those who only have too much time. Emma had long ago stripped herself of anything else and found it was all she had left. Time to do nothing but think, think and destroy herself. It was still an odd thought to her, how much she’d just love to lose her life, but she kept strong on the idea. Cutting, burning, bruising, pinching, and drinking; it would never be enough.
indent Emma shook her head, pulling her eyes open and closed as she gazed at the ceiling. Her bed was too comfortable so she laid on the hard floor. Every now and again the light coming from her window would vanish or flicker, causing Emma to lift her head and check for snow. The truth was that she wanted it to snow, she wanted it to snow more than anything. Her hopes dropped deeper than the ground far below her as she let her head fall back against the hardwood. It had merely been a cloud.
indent November had opened its arms to Emma, but Emma met November with a less than warm welcome. Maybe she could freeze to death in the snow; maybe she would just take her chances skating on thin ice. Thinking about it more and more, Emma stood up, taking good care to hit a newly bruised part of her shoulder against the corner of her bed.
indent Sneaking past her whale of a mother and quickly out the door, Emma stalked off towards her pond. Behind her a new old friend appeared, driving slowly and nearly silently behind Emma as she almost skipped her way out of the city limits. He sighed with a small smile on his face, the steering wheel cold beneath his warm fingers. “Emma, Emma, Emma,” he murmured. Just pulling back into town, a trailer pulling truck somewhere behind him containing his parents and practically everything they owned, James felt gleeful as he watched his old flame walk towards their old pond.
indent They’d discovered it together the last summer before high school started and everything went downhill. He wasn’t even sure what had happened, but he’d lost her in the rushing tide of depression. They’d dated even after he’d moved and to him she was perfect, if not a little stubborn at times. He watched her for a while longer, wondering if she would realize that he was following her.
indent James had a sinking feeling in his stomach, though, remembering the extremely rough terms they’d ended on. He shook the thought out of his head quickly, getting stuck instead on getting the girl of his dreams back. Emma would be his again, but his plans were disrupted for a little as Emma heard his engine running and turned to look at him. Her mouth formed a large ‘o’ as fear swam through her body.
indent Emma hated to be afraid, she absolutely and positively abhorred it. She would not take that, she had the control of her life now and she refused to lose it again. James smiled through his windshield as she went entirely numb. She wouldn’t feel it anymore, she vowed she wouldn’t feel anything anymore. That’s what control was, though, to be in control was to be numb.