Just the Five of Us

Have you ever been stuck in a bouncy jeep without a roof to stop big branches from whacking you in the head? Furthermore, did that bouncy jeep without a roof have two devils in it and a cheery, perverted, bald man singing “The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round” over and over until you felt like your head would pop off? If the answer is no then none of you can say you’ve been to hell. Because, what I am going through right now IS HELL.

“Mr. Rocky,” Crystal teeth chattered as the jeep did an almighty bounce, “I t-think you should c-calm down, you know, we d-don’t want to scare the animals a-away.” each stutter was a shake or jerk of the jeep.

Mr. Rocky, the guy who was dropping us off in the middle of nowhere to die, just laughed. He snorted when he laughed. Normally I didn’t care when people snorted as they laughed, I mean, everybody is different. But this guy made it sound like a REALLY big elephant had gas. And on top of that he kept giving…comments. The sort of suggestive type of comments.

I ducked as a branch took a swing at me. They really liked to aim at me for some reason. Kristin Baseball, the first one to get in a hit gets to keep her bloody head, while the rest get to sit on her bloody corpse and use it as fertilizer through the winter. I scowled up at the trees; I could hear them mocking me. I was tempted to shake a fist.

“Mss. Crystal,” Mr. Rocky said giving her a saucy grin, “The animals would naturally try to stay away; you are queen of the beasts after all.”

Pedophile.

Crystal gave him a blank look. He just looked back at the road with a glint in his eye. He had to be at least thirty-five, gosh. But despite the overall weirdness of the situation I couldn’t help but wonder if I was pretty enough to get that sort of attention from an older man. I mean, I wasn’t looking for that sort of attention, but still. It would be nice to know I was pretty.

Mr. Rocky veered off the main road and down a tiny path that was not made for vehicles. He had stopped singing and started whistling instead. Jake and David in the back were muttering to each other. Jake normally didn’t hang out with people like David but at the moment David was the only person who knew what a [insert complicated video game machinery part here].

“Well, kids, we’re almost there, just another five minutes, and then we go on the quad.”

I forgot to mention that there is a large quad in the back that scares the hell out of me. It doesn’t look safe or useable in any way. Five people are supposed to fit on that thing and it doesn’t look like it could hold two.

Voicing my thoughts Mr. Rocky said, “It’s not very big so we’ll have to squish, but that’s alright, we’ll be warmer.”

Pedophile!

Crystal snorted and scowled at the back of his head. Jake had a slightly disgusted expression on his face; poor innocent David didn’t notice anything. The kid would be in for a shock when Mr. Rocky started feeling him up without asking. I rolled my eyes and banished the thought.

There were four of us, one of him; he couldn’t do anything even if he tried. Yeah sure he had muscles and was smart, but he was out numbered. The only way he could probably get us to do anything willingly is if he threatened to start singing again, and I am not entirely joking.

“Mss. Kristin,” he said suddenly.

Oh shit, I’m not in the mood. I have a head ache! Please, dude, spare me…

“You’ve been awfully quiet,” he glanced back at me before smirking, “Something on your mind?”

Something on my mind? Yes, I want to hit you with a bat. But I also want to sleep.

I gave him a weak smile, “oh nothing, I was just…” I trialed of wondering what Crystal would think about what I said. She’d probably think I was weird, unless I said something super smart. But what would I say?

“You were just?” he prompted.

I resisted the urge to sigh, “I was just thinking about,” I went with wanting to sleep, “I just was thinking that I needed some more sleep.”

Oh, fuck me.

OH, wait! Please don’t take that literally.

I had said something so incredibly stupid. I could tell by Mr. Rocky’s sly expression and the “you’re so dumb” look Crystal was giving me, and Jake silently shaking his head. David still looked a little clueless.

“You need sleep,” he chuckled and I went red. He saw me blush and took that as an encouragement. “If you really aren’t feeling up to this, I have a blanket in the glove compartment, you could spread out in the back.” he put emphasis on the spread.

PEDOPHILE!

I shrieked out the first thing that came to mind, “I have a boyfriend.”

I don't really, it's a farfetched dream.

The car went dead silent and I cursed myself to Hades. Crystal gaped at me with an expression that made me feel even more moronic than ever and Jake put a hand over his mouth while David finally caught on.

“Okay,” Mr. Rocky said as if I had just said something that was completely irrelevant. He was playing innocent.

I went redder and hunched over myself sadly. I wish I had the social skills to make this guy look dump and stupid. But I didn’t, so I resorted to feeling sorry for myself. I couldn’t believe I had secretly wanted him to go all suggestive on me. It was better if I stayed unnoticed. It didn’t make me feel prettier; it made me feel like an idiot.

The jeep rumbled to stop at the end of the tiny road. Mr. Rocky hopped out first and smiled and held out his hand to Crystal who pointedly ignored it and slipped out. Jake followed her calmly, also ignoring the hand. David awkwardly took just so he didn’t look rude.

David was of medium height, he was sort of medium in looks and medium in about everything else. He was a good boy from what I could tell. He obviously came from one of those well balanced families where both parents were present and cared and the siblings got along for the most part. What a lucky duck.

I also took Mr. Rocky’s hand because…well…I didn’t have the gut to ignore. If I did I wouldn’t look as amazing doing it as Crystal or Jake had.

“All right campers,” He said going around to the back, “We only have one quad so it’ll be two at a time.
At first I thought we could all go at once but I thought that over and won’t work.”

I heard Crystal give off a distressed grunt. Jake took a deep controlling breath; he looked like he was refraining from punching Mr. Rocky. David and I just shifted awkwardly, not sure what to do with ourselves.

“I think, I should take Kristin and Jake first.” He commented as he pulled at the quad.

Things couldn’t get worse. I would have to wait with Jake as he got the other two. I glanced at Jake, he looked mopey.

Mr. Rocky finally managed to get the quad out and he started it up. He swung on and smiled up at us, “One in front and one in the back.” he chirped.

I groaned inwardly wondering if the comments would ever stop. We all just stood there for a moment before I realized that if I didn’t claim the back quickly Jake would and I would be in Mr. Rocky’s lap. I bustled forward and mounted in the back. I had the satisfaction of watching Jakes eyes widen slightly.

Jake shuffled forward after giving me the death glare. He awkwardly settled down in Mr. Rocky's lap. Crystal looked amused, it was amusing. Poor David looked like he wanted his mommy as badly as I wanted mine. The quad started and we sped off into the forest.

Poor Jake.

I could see Mr. Rocky bouncing against him. I had the luxury of leaning my lower body as far away as I could. Of course, if I let go of the death grip I had on Mr. Rocky’s shirt I would probably flip backwards at the next bump but it was better than being grinded by a pedophilic old dude. Jake had virtually no room to move, so he received all the torture.

Someone should seriously report this guy.