Running With Wolves

It was a simple easy sense of peace to sit on the floor between Lukas’ legs with my back pressed against his chest; it was one of my favorite places. I loved the feel of the warmth that radiated off of him, I loved to run my hand along the rippled muscles of his arms; here was safe, here was love.

“Have you found anything interesting?”

I had lost myself in the moment and a part of me wished to stay there in the quiet but I knew these things, least of something as rare as quiet in these times, could last.

“A few actually.” I announced, clearing my throat. I reached for one of the books that surrounded us. “Apparently this is not the first time She-Wolves have gone missing. Look,” I handed Lukas the book for closer inspection and pointed to the appropriate text.
“ ‘December 7,
There is something in the woods.
Something that watches us, hunts us.
The elders try to tell us there is nothing to worry our minds with but something is terribly awry. Two of the church girls, Mable and Janet, as well as the choir woman, Babette are all missing just this month alone. Last month June and Mary disappeared without a trace.
Something is out there.
The elders say not to go into the woods at night.

Strange isn’t that Were Elders fear the nighttime wood?’”Lukas paused, absorbing the words on the page. “When was this?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know,” I sighed in frustration. “There is no date, mid 1800’s I think.” My hand touched a book beside me almost absentmindedly. When I glanced down at the cover I could almost feel the blood drain from my face; this one book held the weight of so much. I withdrew my hand as though the book had scorched me and I couldn’t help but momentarily be lost in thought. How could such an inoffensive looking book that could weigh no more than a pound, weigh so heavily and make me feel as though I just wanted to toss it across the room.

“Sage?”

I hesitated, “I found something, something about me.”

“What is it?” Worry filled Lukas’ voice, after everything else we had been through I could hardly blame him.

For a moment I was silent as I tried to think of how to word the things I meant to say—things I myself was having trouble computing. My mind was a mess of worries, wonders, and thoughts. Wordlessly I handed him the newer book amongst the collection.

“I found this,”

“A journal,” He commented his eyes scanning the binding of the inoffensive thing.

“Not just any journal.” I whispered.

Lukas gazed at me curiously before he opened the first page and read the dedication scrawled there in a careful fancy script.

“ ’To my daughter,
I am so sorry.’ ”His eyes flickered to her in confusion but she said nothing. He flipped to the next page and read the following entry:

’When we are young we are taught that our words hold weight. That the words in which we speak could affect opinions, change lives, create harmony, breed destruction. There are many words in which strung together can be heavier than many and yet there are few words more heavily weighted then Soulmate Principle.

The words are still new on my tongue and yet the concept preexists nearly everything that we are. There are theories, jotted notes, obituaries, peace, and war, all centered on the topic. I have found myself searching for answers, I came to only realize there are none. There is no rhyme or reason I could find that explains why these things occur. In fact, had it not happened to me I would have believed it a simple myth like so many do.

I remember when he stumbled upon our tribe, in search of the people of Sans Arc. I remember the surprise in his eyes when he asked to speak to their tribal leader and they brought him to me, green eyed and fire red hair, a stark contrast to the majority of the pack’s olive skin. They had wanted me as their Alpha, the lone wolf who sought only refuge amongst good people. But when their Alpha had died their instincts had turned to me.

I remember the first time I saw him, how handsome he was, his eyes holding more warmth and kindness then I had ever seen. I remember being drawn to him in a way like no other.

I find, the Soulmate Principle can be something so cruel. It knows no bounds of packs, or laws, or marriage. It rises above them all, demanding to be acknowledged.

I know in my heart I will never see Corneliu again and it something that has wrecked as both. Jaded us in a way that makes us both wish we never new of such things as Soulmates. His shame at our love, his marriage Joanna Brown, and his pride was a combination that would assure my loneliness for the rest of my days. I would never ask Corneliu to leave Joanna and stay with me but is it such an ugly thing to secretly wished he would?

I know the idea of me haunts him like a ghost. Which is why I never informed him of my pregnancy. Which is why you have grown to never know your father or the fact that you have a half brother and two sisters. I am forever sorry for this my love, denying you of your family will always be my biggest regret. If you are reading this I am gone and have never been able to tell you these things myself and for that, again, I am truly sorry. The people of White Bear Creek know the origins of your birth and that secret will die with each of them.

No one must know you are the daughter of two alphas Sage, I could not fathom the consequences of the information being common knowledge. But I do know this, no good would come of it my love. Since I am gone, I’d imagine you may feel alone. So as a last effort of atonement you may ask Keya to lead you in the direction of your father and family, in a place called Blackwood, a place so unlike the way we live.

Forgive me my most beloved daughter.
I’m sorrow and guilt will last me an eternity.

Your mother,

Cristina Flavin”

I was pretty sure Lukas wasn’t breathing at that point. I, personally, felt sick.

Lukas opened and closed his mouth several times looking for words. “I—how could—I mean—“

“I know,” was all I could say miserably.

How could it be possible for my life to get even more fucked up. Not only was the woman I’d grown up with not my mother, but that I was the daughter of not one but two Alphas. Even in the knowledge that she hadn’t been my real mother but another woman entirely I still didn’t get a mom—both were gone. Not only that but my birth mother’s surname was Flavin and she had been under the assumption I had grown up in White Bear Creek not Blackwood. What had happened?

“Her last name is Flavin,” Lukas stated, settling with stating the obvious first. “like, Razvan’s last name.”

“Here’s a plot twist,” I started with a grumble. “probably also the last name of Razvan and Salvia’s child.”

Again Lukas was silent as he tried to digest this information and I couldn’t blame him for the shock. When I had first read the diary entry I had sat on the floor in silence for hours.

“Why does she seem think you grew up here and never knew your family?” Lukas wondered.

I put my head in my hands. “my head hurts.”

“I think we should go find Keya.” Lukas murmured before kissing my temple and nodded and silent agreement.

Could things get anymore complicated?