Running With Wolves

I stared at the papers in front of me then glanced up at the man in the tuxedo. It was a perfectly dreary day out, large grey looming clouds that made you want to lie in bed all day and do nothing. But I wasn’t doing nothing; I was sitting at the kitchen table with Conan beside me and this man in front me telling me to make decisions, to come to terms, to deal, and to plan.

But I didn’t want to deal and I wasn’t in any sort of mood to plan.

What kind of daughter wants to plan her father’s funeral as a result of a life cut too short? I didn’t want to deal with this, I didn’t want to have another reminder that the only man who could absolutely insure the protection of his daughters was dead. I didn’t want to be reminded that the Western Pack was without any true alpha. I didn’t want to feel my heart tear open further, more exposed.

Conan took the death certificate gently from my hand and stared at it silently.

“Cause Of Death: Blunt force trama.” He stated emotionlessly

My eyes closed and I winced, my heart bleeding, I felt as though I could feel every ounce of pain he must have in that moment.

A strangled sob escaped my lips and I quickly placed my hand over my mouth, snuffing out the sound. But Conan had heard and he turned to me in surprise, nearly forgetting I was there.

“Sorry,” He murmured rushed before he wrapped an arm around me. “I’m sorry Sage, I-“

I just shook my head numb, I just wanted Conan to stop talking. I didn’t want him or anyone fumbling over words to say, painstakingly so to attempt making this easier for me. But couldn’t they see that the easier they tried to make it, the more they tip toed around me, the more it was like dragging gravel over an open wound? Maybe I was truly that fucked up that I couldn’t handle that level of kindness out of people. Couldn’t they just act normal and ignore me bleeding silently all over the floor?

“I suggest Sunday,” the suited man stated solemnly, his hands folded in front of him. With that pale skin, sunken cheeks, and pointed chin, and suit he suddenly resembled the grim reaper to me.

“Sunday,” Conan echoed, he glanced at me to either confirm or protest the date but he wouldn’t get a response from me.

My mind was working a million different angles at once. Conan saw our father’s funeral and it consumed every inch of his mind, but me?

With the finality of our father’s death the pack would shift and change power, but a snagging haunting voice told me that Mankato couldn’t hold power. He wasn’t meant to be Alpha, he wasn’t even meant to be Beta; he was the Beta’s Beta of sorts, third down the rank. Viktor had been Beta and when the packs split it had gone to Mankato. While he could sound as authoritative as my father, Mankato couldn’t control the pack unless the pack submitted to him willingly each and every time but eventually…eventually they wouldn’t follow Mankato. Who would they follow then?

There would need to be guards protecting not only the borderline but also the funeral. The entire pack would be in attendance and without a true Alpha they were sitting ducks for anyone to come in and make the pack theirs.

I thought of Chey. My father might have been dead but Cheyenne had never been found, she was still out there and after the funeral I would find her.

I thought of Conan, the adopted son of a dead Alpha with no legitimate ties to the pack—would they let him stay?

I bristled at the idea of them shunning him, I would never allow them to even attempt the act.

“Sage?”

“Hmm?” I glanced to my brother who was looking rather expectant and I knew I’d missed his words to me.

“Can you make the list of people allowed to attend?”

I glanced at the suited man once and nodded, “Yeah sure, I’ll have it to you by this afternoon.”

The suited man nodded, “Sunday at four then,” he shook hands with Conan before my brother led him to the front door.

I knew the moment he returned, Conan would be asking me if I was okay and I couldn’t handle him evaluating my wellbeing at the moment.

When Conan returned I’d be gone.
_____________________________________________________________________________

I was in the clearing, in the boarder woods, a no mans land of sorts; Falcon Ridge Forest.

It was an at your own risk place. No one on either side patrolled it. The woods were too thick and hard to navigate to be worth protecting. But I’d grown up in these woods, exploring them with Lukas and Rune from sunup to sundown. It was our getaway place from everything, even when the pack was united no one really dared to come here.
It was also in this forest that my father’s life was taken and my sister disappeared.

A 100 square miles of thick dense woods that spread from the Eastern Pack through the Western Pack. Within these woods was one clearing, one reprieve from the dense brush and heavily populated trees. It wasn’t a large beautiful grassy meadow where wildflowers bloomed and bunnies bounced around happily. It was just a circular clearing about four hundred feet around, where the sun shone perfectly through the trees. It had been our favorite place to get away. The old tattered hammock was still faithfully swaying between two trees and the ugly yet surprisingly functional tree house was still in one piece fifteen feet up the old oak tree.

It had been Lukas’s corny idea when we were fifteen that we should have a tree house and with the help of Rune and I it became our sanctuary.
I climbed the tree care and skill, there was never a ladder to help you, just your own means. The tree house was nearly exactly as I left it with the exception of the two inches of leaves that evenly covered the floor. The old tattered blue chair from the garbage dump was in the corner, the fold up yellow table from Rune’s house was still here though overturned, the old desk from Lukas’ house was still pushed against the wall, and the coolers, pillows, and blankets, from my house where still stuffed beneath it.

I sat down on the floor and closed my eyes, trying to feel echoes of how this place once made me feel: Safe, welcomed, a secret spot for when the world got bad. I tried to feel carefree and light hearted. I tried to remember Lukas’s strong comforting arms around me and Rune’s whimsical carefree laugh in my ear but I couldn’t. All I could hear was the wind howling through the planks of wood as the storm moved in, all I felt was more alone than ever. This place was just another ghost now, an echo of something that was but could never be again.

I tried to catch Lukas’ scent, hoping he’d come here but no matter how much I tried I couldn’t smell him. Not even Rune had treaded here since my absence and I knew she prowled these woods more than ever.

I needed Lukas now more than ever and I was surprised that I could even admit that to myself. I needed Lukas who wouldn’t look at me like a fragile china doll of a little girl who just lost her father but of a woman who had more purpose now than ever before. I needed Lukas to be the one that held me in those moments I cried, I needed Lukas to hold me in his arms—the safest place in the world. I needed him to tell me I was strong, that I would get through this, that there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that I’d find Cheyenne, and I needed him to tell me that my pack would be okay without me.

But Lukas wasn’t here and all I felt was weak.

All I was, was numb.

______________________________________________________________________________

Knoll was quiet, staring at his brother curiously. He was watching his sibling stare out at the wood line of Lukas’ house, a place where Knoll himself stayed many days.

Lukas was stock still, staring out at the woods with hawk eyes and Knoll shifted uneasy trying to sense some coming intruder. There was nothing, however, and it silently confused Knoll, what was it that Lukas was looking for?

But then Knoll knew, there was only one reason why Lukas became quiet and still.

“She’s out there isn’t she?”

Lukas said nothing but Knoll saw the muscle jump in his jaw. What was she doing this far from home, this close to the border?

Knoll wasn’t paranoid like the rest of the town, he knew that Sage (while not harmless) didn’t intend to cause trouble for the Eastern Pack. He had known Sage since he was born, there wasn’t a single memory he had of his brother that didn’t include the strawberry blonde. Yet even in knowing Sage so long, he couldn’t sense her familiar presence like his brother did; he couldn’t feel the pull to go to her like a magnet.

Thunder sounded low and warningly and Knoll looked up at the sky growing darker.

“There’s a storm coming.” Knoll stated.

“Yes,” Lukas said finally. “yes, there is.”