I'm Not Dead

P!NK'S POV
He put his forehead against mines and closed his eyes. It was certainly an angry kiss, but I was still surprised by it. He put both his hands on either side of my face and reasted his forehead against mine.

"Dammit Alecia," he paused, his eyes still closed.

"I'm sorry. You're the last person I'd wanna hurt on purpose, " I told him, glad that I couldn't see his eyes. I felt his soft touch turn into a grip on the side of my face. It didn't hurt, but I could just feel his anger.

"Why the fuck did you have to come to my hotel room..." he said, wiping the tears away from my face that I hadn't even realized were there.

"I missed you," I whispered, trying to stop my eyes from letting tears fall out of them. He kept on going as if I hadn't said anything.

"...and make me fall in love with you. This isn't right Alecia. I shouldn't feel this way about you, but I do. And I don't know how to control it Alecia."

His hands were still firmly holding on to my face and he leaned closer to my face so that his nose was touching mines. His voice saying my name still struck me every time.

"I'll do anything for you. I'll get our divorce finalized. I'll...I don't know but I don't want to ever be away from you. And I'll...I'll...I just love you," I felt him stop wiping my tears and just let them stream down my face. I'd never had somebody make me feel so many emotions in a week than he has.

Then, he finally opened his eyes and stared straight into mines. I forgot how to breath for what seemed like an hour.

"I believe you Alecia," He mumbled, " But don't make me regret it."

With that he let go of my face and turned away. I used the the back of my hand to wipe off my tears and
I looked at the ground as he hit a wall. I walked back towards the receptionist area and found the restroom before anyone could see my face. I went over the sink and washed my face off with water. I stayed inside the restroom until it didn't really look like I had been crying.

"Come on Alecia," he told me as I walked over to where he was. I couldn't even look at him as I we walked out with his bodyguard. I hadn't felt that horrible in a long ass time.

***
We sat on his bed that night, flipping between The First 48 and Sports Center. I sat with my arms wrapped around my knees and he laid down the pillows concentrating on the TV.
He'd ignored me all day and all the silence was irritating me.

"Look if you’re not gonna talk to me...I just…I can leave,” I whispered to him, though I have no damn idea why I had to whisper that. There was no one in there, but him, me and some detective from Detroit talking on the T.V. about possible suspects.

I got up and walked towards the door when I heard him mute the T.V. I turned around at the this sudden cause of even more silence and he was staring right at me.

“Alecia…what the fuck am I supposed to say to you? You hurt me. I didn’t do not a damn thing, but love you and you hurt me. What I really should be doing is telling you get the fuck up outta my house,” he responded, shaking his head and looking up at the ceiling.
“That’s what I was just offering a second ago though…” I trailed off.

“But then I think to myself…you don’t fall in love with someone then kick the out your house. That makes no sense.”

“But if they hurt you…”

“It’s partially my fault for falling for you so quick,” he shook his head and sighed heavily. “I’m sorry Alecia.”

That’s when I jumped on the bed and went over to him. I sat Indian style next you him and grabbed his arm.

“Don’t you DARE say sorry to me Marshall. It’s not your fault. Don’t fuckin say sorry to me,” then I leaned over and began plating soft kisses all over his face. He didn’t stop me neither. He just closed his eyes and turned towards me. I spread out and laid down next to him, intertwining my fingers with his. In response, he pulled me closer to him, locking our lips together, but I could still feel the hesitation so I pulled away.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured , running my hand down the side of his face softly. His eyes, though still causing a shock in me anytime they stared at me, were gentler now that he was tired.

“I’m sorry. I’ll make everything right. I promise,” I kissed him softly. “Believe me,” kissed him again. “Please,” another kiss. “I just wanna,” kiss. “Make you happy,” I trailed off as he finally began to kiss me back.

EMiNEM’S POV

When I went to sleep then night before, I had a beautiful women in my arms. When I woke up the next day, I had a pillow and a note saying ‘I’m gonna make it right.’ She didn’t even sign her name for me to know it was Alecia. Little did I know that her making it right would make a whole month go by before I ever saw her again. I thought about going to her concert, but decided if she wanted to come back she’d come to me. A couple phone conversations did nothing to comfort me. In front of everyone I seemed just fine. Working on a new album to make up for Relapse, concert here and there to get used to seeing a crowd again, getting business deals done etc. But no one, but me and God how much I was hurting for Alecia to come back to me.

“Daddy, your phone’s ringing,” Hailie came to me while I was sitting in the basement studio, “You left it in the kitchen and I didn’t wanna disturb you, but it keeps on ringing.”

“Thanks,” I said, half paying attention and taking the phone from her. Then she just stood there looking at me.

“Weeeelllll, aren’t ya gonna answer it, father?” she asked me in her horrible fake southern accent. I laughed at her and looked at the caller I.D. Not a number I recognized.

“Weeeelllll, are you just gonna stand there and try and eavesdrop on my conversation? Go study or somethin.” I told her back in a ten time better accent than hers.

“Oh fine,” she replied, going back upstairs to leave me alone. I finaaly answered the phone when the strange number called again. I was getting just about ready to cuss someone out, but I heard Alecia’s voice on the other end. There was a lot of noise in the background and even I could hear the snaps of cameras above all of it.
Me: “Where the fuck are you?”

Her: “I’m at the airport. I’m coming…”

I missed the last part of her sentence and the sentence after because of all the noise.

Me: “I can’t hear you! I’m thinking maybe that’s not a good place to try and talk to me. Just a thought.”

Her: “Fuck. I didn’t bring my bodyguards with me and I’m in a public airport! In LA! I. Need. You. To. Come. Pick. Me. Up. When. I. Get. To. Detroit.”

Me: “Aiight, what time?”

After I got the information, I just realized I hadn’t seen Alecia in almost a month. She went to finalize her divorce with that one guy, but instead of taking a day it took more and she ended up having to go on tour anyways. I made sure I was freshened up and ready before men and the guys went to go pick her up.

When we finally got there, she hopped into the car and hugged me automatically after she closed the door.

“Oh I missed you so much,” she mumbled into my shoulder, as I rubbed her back.

“I missed you more,” I finally said back, making her sit down and put on her seat belt as we sat in the backseat of the SUV.

“What’s the first order of business, baby?” She asked, excited for some reason. Or anxious. I couldn’t tell which one.

“Well, I have this song, and I want you on it,”

“Oh really? I’ll sharpen up my voice for you,” she said. Yeah. She was definitely anxious.

“Alecia, what the hell is wrong with you? You look like you’re about to have a panic attack,” I trailed off because I knew she was about to tell be something big. I could see it in her face.

“I think…I’m…”

“What? Alecia don’t stop mid-sentence,” I put my hand. “Just tell me. There ain’t nothin I haven’t heard before.”

“I know you’ve heard this before…I think I’m pregnant Marshall,” she kinda chuckled to herself.

I just stared at her and hoped I’d heard her right. Or I hadn’t heard her right.