Summertime

I walked around the room before taking a shower.
The shower was beautiful but the hot water drowned
all my thoughts. I stood there for a long while
before I heard a knock on the door.
My eyes flew open and I grabbed a towel.

"I'm back!"
Gerard yelled through the door.

"God, I'm sorry! I must've stood in here for ages.
I'll be right out."
I said and wanted to pick up my clothes.

"Can I come inside? I've got a present for you and it
pretty much can't wait."
he said.

"Oh, erm. Sure?"
I made it a question, not really certain of what would happen.

The door opened a little.

"Are you decent? Do you have a towel around you
or something?"
he asked, before he opened the door completely.

I smiled, knowing he wasn't that type of guy that
wanted to see girls naked like that.

"Yeah, I've got a towel wrapped around me.
It's safe."
I said, smiling a bit.

He stepped in but didn't close the door.
For some reason I got real self conscious when he
kept looking at me.

"What?"
I asked, looking down.
Maybe I missed a spot?

He still didn't respond so I walked up to him.
I waved my hand in front of his eyes.

"Hey, Gerard? Are you there?"
I asked.
He gently grabbed my hand and smiled.

"Sorry. I'm back. So, I bought you something.
I really do hope it fits you."
he held the bag open that was in his hands.

"What's that?"
I said, not wanting to ruin it.
It looked really nice.

He smiled, put the bag on the floor and pulled out
a beautiful black dress.
I gasped and my hands flew to my mouth,
to cover it.

"Wha.. Are you nuts?"
I said, touching the fabric from a distance.

"I'd like to think so. But right now I'm not.
I want you to have it and throw the other clothes away."
he said, pointing at my old ragged clothes.

"Gerard, I can't accept it. I can't take all this
from you. You've been more than generous and I just can't
accept new clothes. What about tomorrow, when
I'm out on the streets again?"
I said.

Disappointment flew over his face and he sighed.

"Yeah. Look, do you mind if I take a quick shower?"
he said, then, pulling off his jacket again.

"Ofcourse not. I'll be right out there."
I said.
Before I could collect my old clothes, he had picked them up.

"Just try the dress, please?"
he asked, handing me the beautiful, black dress.

I sighed in defeat.

"Fine."
I grabbed it from his hands and closed the bathroom door.

"There's some stuff in the other bag, too. That's
also yours. Whether you like it, or not."
I heard Gerard say through the door.
Right after, I heard the shower run.

Walking over to the other bag, I dropped my towel and put
on the dress.
It was soft and gentle around my body. Nothing like my
jeans and sweater.

I touched it in several places, but felt uncomfortable.
I had no underwear on which wasn't very nice.

When I looked in the bag, I saw Gerard had bought me some.
And it was all very feminine. I smiled to myself, when I pictured
Gerard in a lingerie-store. I shook my head while putting something
on and I instantly felt better.

Searching around in the bag, I also found a brush so I
quickly brushed my hair.
It took a while before I had all the knots removed,
but when my hair was smooth, I kept on touching
it. It hadn't been this clean, smooth or shiny in
a while.

Then I heard some rumbling and the door to the
bathroom opened.
I turned around, and saw Gerard coming out.

"You even bought me a brush and lingerie."
I blurted out and laughed.
"Thank you. So much for everything."

"No problem."
Gerard said but I saw a change in his mood.

"So.. Thanks and.. erm. If I ever can repay you, just
say so, okay? I'll be at the spot you found me.
Can I have my clothes back, now?"
I asked, timid. I never should've gone here with him.
It just made it harder to say goodbye.

"What are you talking about? You're not leaving,
right?"
he said, confused.

"Well, I think I've had enough for one day. You've already
been more of a friend to me than anyone has ever been.
I think it's best if we say goodbye now."
I said, sighing.

"You can't go. Please."
he said, looking at me with sad eyes.

I looked away before saying anything.
"But this is only gonna make it harder for me.
Around this time tomorrow, I'll be out on the streets again
and you'll be off living your amazing life. I can't stay here
that much longer or I'll only be disappointed when I go."

It stayed silent for a while, so I decided to turn around.
And Gerard was gone. I heard a door being shut and I
followed the noise.

I knocked on the door before opening it.
Gerard was laying on the massive bed in that very room.
I walked over to him and sat down.

"Put your head in my lap."
I said and he looked at me, with one eye.

"I'm not gonna kill you. I promise."
I said and lifted his head so it was in my lap.
I gently started to rub his temples.

"It's not that I want to go. It's just that I don't know
how I'm ever gonna say goodbye. I know we've only met
a few hours ago but you've made my heart turn into summer.
It's warm and cozy, there. Before, it was cold and I didn't
even know how to get warm. You've got something,
Gerard and I don't ever want to say goodbye but
I know I don't have a choice. And it sucks."
I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Just like my eyes suck?"
Gerard asked, mumbling a bit.

"Yeah well, they don't. But they're enchanting to look at.
It's like you hypnotized me. And you seem to like this,
or not?"
I asked, with a smile.

"Mhm. It's been a while since someone did this.
I've had headaches for the past few days and this
helps. Thanks."
Gerard said.

I gently kissed his head.
"You're welcome."
I whispered.

Somewhere along the way, Gerard fell asleep.
I loved his peaceful face when he was resting,
so I sat up most of the time, watching him.
At one point I gently lifted his head and placed it on a pillow.
I lied down next to him and then, I fell asleep too.

I woke up to someone stroking my hair.
Smiling, I opened my eyes and stared in Gerard's face.
This time, my head was in his lap and I sighed.

"This is nice."
I said, yawning a bit.

"Oh hey. Goodmorning. Or well, good afternoon is more
like it."
he said, smirking.

"It's noon already?"
I asked, shocked.

"Yup."
Gerard simply stateted.

I shook my head and laughed.
"It's been a while since I had a bed to sleep on.
I blame the matrass."

"Yeah, me too."
Gerard said, somewhere else with his thoughts.

I sat up and sat across from him and looked at him.

"What's wrong?"
I asked.

"Oh, no I'm fine."
he said, looking out the window.

"Nope, you're not. And you're not leaving until
you've told me how I can help. So there."
I gently held his hand and smiled.
"Your hands are really warm."

"Would you run away with me?"
he asked, then.

My eyebrows turned into a frown, because
I had no idea what he meant.

"Run away where?"
I asked.

"Well, it's not really running away. It's more
touring. But it would mean that you can run away
from the life you're living now."
he explained.

"You want me to go with you? Really?"
I asked in disbelief.
The grip I had on his hands was loosening but
Gerard held onto my hands real tight.

"Yes. I don't know how to tell you this but.."
he started but stopped, mid-sentence.

"You remember how you said that I made your heart feel
like the summertime? And before you met me it
was cold and you didn't know how to make it warm?
That's exactly how I feel. When I saw your eyes, it filled
me up with warmth and cozy-ness. I don't ever want to lose
that feeling and I want you to run away with me. It'd be a win-win
situation. You'll always be warm and so will I."
he said, moving his hand through his hair.

I was lost for words for a minute or two.

"It doesn't really make sense, though. Does it?"
I managed to say.
Slowly, I felt the tears well up.

"What doesn't make sense?"
Gerard asked.

"This. Me and you. I should be out on the streets and
you should be off with some model. It doesn't make
sense for you to say the things you just said."
I said, facing the bed, now.
The tears were falling down my cheek, now.

"When I saw you in the shower, with just
a towel around you, I couldn't help but stare. And this
dress.. It only makes you that much prettier.
You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.
No model can out-beautiful you."
Gerard said.

I laughed at his choice of words but I could hardly
believe them.

"I don't.."
I wanted to say but I felt Gerard hand under my chin
and he lifted my face up, again.
He smiled and wiped away my tears.

"I don't know what to say anymore."
I said, sniffing.

"You could say yes. But there is one condition, though."
Gerard said, while he kept looking into my eyes.

"What is it?"
I asked, scared I couldn't live up to it.

"I can only take you with me if you promise me
something."

I shook my head.
"I don't know how to.."

"Promise you'll stay with me?"
he asked, insecure.

"As a friend?"
I asked, not knowing what to say anymore.

"I can't be just friends with you, Lily."
he said, shaking his head.

"But I don't know how to be with you."
I whispered, looking into his beautiful eyes.
He smiled and then leaned forward.
His lips gently touched mine before he answered;
"I don't care. As long as you're with me, I don't care."

I just looked at him, completely flabberghasted.
Why would he want me?
Out of every woman he could get, he wanted to be
with me?
I was silently wondering in what sick, twisted world I
was living in before his lips were on mine again.

When I told Gerard I didn't know how to be with him,
I was being honest. I had never been with anyone and
I had no idea what to expect.
But when we kissed, I realized that I didn't have to know.
Our lips were perfect for each other, it fit perfectly.

I never dared to dream I'd find someone to love.
And I certainly never dreamed about someone
loving me, for who I was.
But Gerard did and he knew within 24 hours.
I smiled, while kissing him some more.

I thought about the summer, now.
The winter was far, far gone.