Heartbreak Warfare

We were walking down the street, enjoying the weather and
each other's company. The months without Jimmy had been
more than amazing. I was always with Gerard and he really
tried to give me my space and time. He had been nothing
short of amazing to me.

"Rose, come on! Let's go to the park and find a tree."
Gerard said.

"There's trees everywhere in the park, Gerard. I don't think
we'll have to search for long."
I said, smiling.

"Find a tree to sit under. You knew what I meant, why am
I explaining myself?"
he asked, shaking his head.

"Because you screwed up. You said you wanted to find
a tree. You never said you wanted to find a tree to sit under."
I reasoned.

Gerard stopped dead in his tracks and defeatedly
threw his hands in the air.

"You are so, so irritatingly sharp these days. Knock it off."
he said, with a pout.

I smiled and shrugged.

"What can I say, you bring out the best in me."
I said, grabbing Gerard's hand and pulling him with me again.

"I'lll try to not be so sharp. Okay?"
I said, laughing at Gerard's face and movements.

"Just for an hour or two would be nice. Please."
he said, rolling his eyes.

I quickened my pace and released Gerard's hands.
That went with a little protest on his part but I turned around
to face him and stopped.

"You do know I think you're amazing, right?"
I asked, while hugging him close.

His arms found their way around my body, too and I felt his
chin resting on my shoulder.

"Ditto."
he just said, what made me smile.
I kissed his cheek softly before we walked further.

When we arrived at the park we tried to find a good spot
under a tree. Gerard wasn't really a big fan of the sun and I
wasn't, either. So we usually stayed indoors if there was any
sun. Today I felt like going out for a while, seeing we had stayed
in for almost 5 days straight.

After I got out of my relationship with Jimmy, Gerard wanted me
to stay over at his place for a while because of the state I was in.
He wanted to keep an eye on me, just in case.
He was right to do that, I woke up alot in the middle
of the night having bad dreams.
The extent of his abuse became clear then and I was shaking
all over most of the time.
That's when I'd stand up and went over to Gerard and he'd
be the one to help me through it.
I had my life and sanity back because of him and I had no idea
if he knew that. I'd have to thank him somehow.

Of course there was the situation of him kissing me on that
day he made me stand up against Jimmy.
We hadn't really talked about it and we really didn't have to.
All was said that day so we never felt like we needed to
explain ourselves.

"There's a good spot!"
Gerard said, pointing at a gigantic tree.

"Hey, it actually is. Nice one."
I said, as we made our way over to the tree
and sat down.

Gerard grabbed his notebook and started drawing the minute he
sat down. He was always drawing when we were in the park.
I was curious to see what he was drawing but he was very hesitant about
showing everything to me.

"Someday you'll have to show me what you've been drawing the past few days."
I said, putting on my sunglasses.

"Someday, sure. But not now. It's not finished so I don't
want to just yet."
he smiled at me and I smiled back.

"I'm going to get my book out so if you need me.."
I wanted to say but Gerard finished my sentence for me.

"I'll punch you in the face. No worries, I know how you
get lost in a book. It's pretty much me with drawing."
he said, concentrating on his notebook, still.

"Hm, that wasn't very nice. Be glad you're my friend and I love
you, I would've kicked your ass otherwise."
I said, grabbing my book and opening it.

But Gerard was already lost in his drawing.
I was soon lost in my book and we were both content with the
way life had turned out.
Somewhere along the way my thoughts drifted off to my life
before and my life now. Thinking about Jimmy made my stomach
turn. I never wanted to see him again. Ever.
He never contacted me anymore, probably because Gerard said
he'd called the cops on his sorry ass. I was glad about that, I was
happy with life in general, now.

"I'm done with sitting in the park. Can we leave?"
Gerard asked after an hour or 2 of just sitting there, doing our things.

"Yeah, sure. Where do you wanna go?"
I asked, putting my book away.

"Well, I have something to do so you can go home if you want?"
he said, standing up and brushing grass off of his pants.

"What is it?"
I asked, while Gerard helped me up gently.
This time it was my turn to brush the grass off of my ass-area.

"Nothing, really. But it's something I kind of have to do alone.
I won't be gone long, I promise."
he said, grabbing my hand and walking out of the park with me.
When we were actually out of the park, we stood still in front of the
gates.

"Crap. It's bad enough I have to miss you when we're working.
And now we have a day off and I still have to miss you. You suck."
I said, pouting.

Gerard smiled and his eyes sparkled in the sun.
"Sometimes you're too cute for your own good. I promise, promise
it's not going to take me long. You can read some more. Get the laptop
out or I don't know. Something."
he reasoned, wiping strands of hair out of my face.

I smiled and looked him in the eyes.
Sincere eyes I'd really came to love with all my heart.

"Okay. Fine, I'll go do something. If you're not back in an hour,
can I call?"
I asked, shyly.

"I think it'll take a little more than an hour but yes, you can call."
he said, smiling again.

"Okay. Then I'll see you in a little more than an hour."
I pouted and he kissed my cheek.

"Be back soon!"
he said and walked off in the other direction.

I stared at his back until I couldn't see him anymore and sighed.
It was about time that I got my feelings out there.
For the past month, I'd been having more than friendly feelings
for Gerard. I was just wondering if it wasn't too soon.

Lost in thought I arrived at his appartment. Or 'home' lately and
unlocked the door.
After I closed and locked it again, I decided to take a shower
and calm myself a bit. I was always a little nervous, still to be left alone.
Gerard knew so he left me alone as little as possible.
So whatever he was leaving me alone for, had to be pretty important.

After my shower, I decided to check my email and such until Gerard was
back. Checking the clock I saw it had already been 45 minutes and my
heart made a weird leap. I knew by now, that it was because of Gerard and
seeing him again.

I didn't really check the clock or anything after I had my laptop up and
running so when I heard keys in the lock I looked at the time.

"You didn't even call. You said you would!"
I heard behind me and I smiled.

"Sorry, I pretty much lost track of time."
I said, standing up and embracing Gerard in a huge hug.
"I'm glad you're back."

"You didn't even miss me, did you?"
he asked, throwing something on the couch and then hugging me
back.

"Of course I did, moron."
I gently slapped his shoulder while letting go of him.
"So, did you do the thing you needed to do?"

I walked over to the pc again and sat down on the chair.

"Yeah, I did."
he answered and took he bag he had into his bedroom.

"God."
I whispered.
He knew I was way, way too curious about stuff like that.
I heard him chuckle before he entered the livingroom again.

"No worries, you'll find out tonight."
he said, grabbing himself something to drink.

"Why not nowww?"
I asked, pouting.

"Becauuuuse."
was his response.

"Gah. Fine."
I turned my body towards the laptop
and started surfing the net again.

"What are we doing for dinner?"
Gerard asked then.

"Take-Out?"
I asked, craving Chinese.

"Chinese, then?"
he read my mind.

"Fo sho, my love."
I responded.

When dinnertime came around, Gerard seemed a bit nervous
about something.

"Are you okay?"
I asked, while unpacking our food.

"Yeah, just fine, really."
he said.

When we had what we ordered we ate in silence.
It wasn't really a comfortable silence because I knew he had something
on his mind. And I didn't want to ask him about it. He gave me my time,
it was only fair I gave him his.

"Can you close your eyes, please?"
Gerard asked when we were done eating.

"Erm. Why?"
I wanted to know.

"Because I have something for you and you can't see just yet."
he said, moving his hands through his hair.

"That's what you're nervous about, isn't it?"
I asked.

"I'm not nervous."
Gerard said, acting like he had no idea what I was talking about.

"Sure you aren't. You're talking to me here.
But fine, if you want me to close my eyes, I will."
I closed my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Sorry, I know. I guess I am a little nervous about it.
I hate the way you seem to look right through me, damn it.
Give me a second."
he sounded distant so he was probably in his room.
I smiled at his words.

"Okay, so you can open your eyes now."
he said, so I did.

In a frame was a drawing of me and him in the park, looking
in each other's eyes. My hands were in his and there was a look
of adoration in our eyes.

My mouth dropped open at least an inch before slowly making my
way over to Gerard and the drawing.

"I had to get a frame for it this afternoon. That's why I had to
leave you alone for a while."
he said, still nervous.

"Is this what you were working on for the past few days?"
I asked, grabbing the frame and sitting down with it.

"Yeah, I've been actually working on it for a week or 2.
I wanted it to come out just right."
he replied, still standing in the middle of the room.
He looked at me expectantly but I just kept staring at the drawing
in awe.

"So erm.. Do you like it?"
he asked.

"I love it, Gerard. It's beautiful."
I said, touching the drawn Gerard.

I gently placed it on the seat next to me and stood up.

"Gerard, I think it's about that time.. that I told you how
I feel."
I began.

"Okay.."

"Remember when you kissed me after Jimmy left and I told you that
you had to give me some time to, you know. Clear my head?"
I asked.

"Of course. Oh shit, did I screw up?"
he said, his eyes big with worry.

"No! No, not at all! Gerard, you've been a complete sweetheart,
you've been everything to me that I wanted you to be. I guess I
just wanted to tell you that I've had enough time. The past month I've
been starting to feel more and more for you. And I'm just saying that,
you know, if you want to, we could erm. You know. Try."
I said, not really knowing how to express what I wanted to say.

He looked at me for a few seconds before his smile appeared.

"Really? I mean.. Really? 'Cause if you're not up for it, I don't.."
he said but I shut him up by softly pushing my lips against his.

I caught him surprise so he didn't quite kiss me back.
It was a five second kiss but to me, it felt amazing.

When I parted our lips, I saw Gerard standing slightly shocked.

"Well. I didn't see that one coming."
he said.

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"You better see this one coming."
I said before closing the gap between us again.

This time he definetely saw it coming.
His lips on mine made fireworks go off inside my head.
It was the best I've ever felt and it didn't take long for us
to actually make out.

And then Gerard broke away from me.

"Hey. I wasn't done, here."
I said, what made Gerard laugh.

"Rose, are you 100 percent sure that you want to do this?
Are you sure you want to be with me?"
he asked, wiping some hair out of my eyes.
I saw hope in his eyes and I felt hope, too.

"I can't think of anything I'd want more."
I responded, smiling.

"You have no idea how happy you make me."
he said, hugging me close.

"And you honestly have no idea in how many ways you've saved me.
I can honestly say that I already know I love you."
I replied.

Gerard broke away from me, stared in my eyes and then smiled.

"Ditto."
he said before kissing me again.

I was glad that Gerard and I were an item, now.
I just knew that I'd be happy every day for the rest of my life.
In a way, Gerard was my savior. But he wasn't just that.
He was my best friend and he was the one I needed to be complete.