Kryptonite

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and reached for it.
By the time I had it, the caller had hung up.
Looking at who it was, a big smile was on my face.

"So he's in town again?"
Liv asked.

"How'd you guess?"
I asked, baffled.

"Because you always get this stupid grin on your face.
I can't believe he still makes you feel that way."
Liv said, smiling and shaking her head.

"I see him once maybe twice a year Livy."
I answered, smiling again.

"Didn't he have a girlfriend?"
she asked.

"I couldn't tell you. He gives me hints that he doesn't but there
are things pointing in the other direction as well. I always try to
keep him on a safe distance butit doesn't work. At all.
And it doesn't help that he always makes
the first move, either."
I said, pressing the 'call' button.

"Am I ever going to see him?"
Liv asked.

"I don't know. I don't know if he wants to."
I said, shrugging.

This time I couldn't reach him so I figured I'd wait
until I heard from him again.

"Why not? What is so special about him that he doesn't
want to meet me?"
she asked, with her eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh, Liv. That's not it. I told him about you and he seemed
to like you. It's just complicated. I can't really tell you."
I said, feeling guilty.

"I'm your best friend and you can't even tell me?"
she asked, pouting.

"I promised him I wouldn't."
I said, my guilt encreasing.

"Well, I don't like him."
she said, crossing her arms.

"Shut up, I know for a fact that you do."
I said, laughing now.
If she only knew who my secret crush was.

"Then tell me who he is, please? I can't live with the fact
that you're keeping things from me."
Liv replied, pouting again.

I sighed and shook my head.
"I'll talk to him about it and then I'll tell you,
maybe."

By then my phone rang again and I picked it up.
"Hey."

"Hey you. How've you been?"
he asked.

"Just fine, really. You?"
I asked, trying to get Liv off of me.
"Sheeesh, Liv!"

I heard him laughing before I heard his voice again.
"Is Liv hounding you about me again?"

"Yeah, she almost sat on top of me. She really hates the
fact I have a secret I can't tell her."
I said, running away and locking myself up in the bathroom.

"Mack! If you don't get out here and tell me I'll.. I'll..
Do very very hurtful things to you!"
she yelled through the door, pounding on it.

"Shit, she's persistent."
he said, laughing.

"Yeah, you laugh. I can't hold back much longer.
But then she'll never ever believe me."
I said, sitting down against the door.

"Just tell her."
he said.

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open.

"Mack?"
he asked after a few minutes.

"I can't just tell her, you made me promise I wouldn't."
I replied.

"And I'm thankful you kept it. You're not breaking it by
telling her, I told you to do it."
he said, sounding tired.

"Are you okay? Like, really?"
I asked, wanting to know.

"Really? No, I guess I'm not."
he said, sounding terribly sad.

"Do you want to meet somewhere? If you want someone
to talk to besides the guys, I'm here, you know."
I said, biting my lip.
I was being a bit selfish by asking him to meet somewhere.
It had been almost 6 months since I last saw him.

"Are you sure?"
he asked.

"Brian, don't even ask that. What hotel are you in?"
I asked, standing up and opening the door.

"The Mayweather."
he replied.

"Shit, that's goddamn huge. Text me the room and shit okay?
I'll be there in 20."
I said, grabbing my bag.

"Sure. Thanks, Mack."
he said, sounding a bit relieved.

"No problem, see you soon."
I said, disconnecting the call.

"Liv, I'm going out for a while. Please, don't be mad at me?"
I asked, walking over to her and hugging her from behind.

"I'm not mad, I just hate secrets. We're living in the same appartment,
we have to be honest to each other."
she said, turning around and hugging me back.

"His name is Brian."
I blurted out.

She released me and looked at me.
"Brian? What's so special about him, then?"

"He's a guitarist. In a band. A big one."
I said, biting my lip.

"What band?"
she asked.

I sighed.
"Just know I'm telling you the truth, okay?"

"Of course."
she said, crossing her arms.

"Brian is also known as Synyster Gates."
I said, looking at her reaction.

Her mouth dropped open.
"Mackenzie.."

"I have to go. I'll talk to you when I come back okay?
He really needs someone right now and I have no idea what's
wrong with him. See you later!"
I said, walking away.

I saw in her eyes that she thought I'd lost it completely.

------------

Arriving at the hotel, I parked the car and then walked inside.
I walked up the elevator and allowed it to take me up to the
sixteenth floor.

I pulled out my phone, looking at Brian's text, to make sure
I got the roomnumber right.

"1608."
I whispered to myself, getting out of the elevator.
Taking a look in the hallway, to my left and right, I saw it was
the room at the end of the hallway.

I knocked on the door and it opened shortly after.
Brian stood in the doorway, with sad eyes.
Nevetheless, his beauty always caught me off guard
everytime I saw him. His beautiful eyes, his perfect
shaped face, everything. I couldn't understand why he'd chose me
out of all the girls he could have.

"Hey."
I said, smiling.

"Wow. You look amazing."
he said, grabbing my hand and gently pulling me inside the room.
He closed the door and hugged me close.
He buried his face in my neck and I couldn't help but get goosebumps
at his warm breath tickling me.

"I look like I always do, Bri."
I said, taking in his lovely scent.

"Exactly."
he whispered, while he gave me a soft kiss in my neck.

He released me and just looked at me.
That always made me very self-conscious so I averted my gaze to the room.

"Holy shit, Bri. This place is fucking huge."
I said, my eyes almost popping out at the space and luxury.

"You should see my house."
he said, laughing a bit.

"I think I'll get very jealous then so how about no?"
I said, smiling as well.
"So I've never seen you so sad. What's wrong?"

He sighed and took me to the couch and sat down.

"I haven't been completely honest with you."
he said.

My heart started thumping, scared of what was coming next.
"Okay.."

"I do have a girlfriend. Matter of fact, she's my fiancee."
he went on.

My heart shattered into a million pieces.
"Oh.."

"So I think we should.. I mean, it's better if we.."
he said, looking for words.

"Don't see each other anymore."
I finished for him.

"Yeah.."
he said, with furrowed eyebrows.

I sat there for a few minutes, next to him before I got up.
I didn't want to be in that room any longer.
I'd been the other woman for far too long.

"Where are you going?"
he asked, also standing up.

"I thought I came here because you needed a shoulder.
That you needed to talk to someone. Why didn't you just tell
me through the phone? That would have been way easier for me.
You could've just told me you had to talk to me, instead of making
me believe that you were actually depressed about something."
I said, walking over to the door.
My eyes were getting watery with tears because eventhought I knew
this wasn't a break-up, it felt like one.

I felt his hand around my wrist, stopping me from opening the door.
My fist collided with the door, angry at myself for thinking
that I had a chance with him.

"Mack, come on.."
Brian started but I turned around and pulled my wrist out
of his grip.

"I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself for ever thinking
that this could actually work. I should've known you had a girl
back home all a long, but I didn't want to hear it. I've been
a complete moron for letting myself getting involved with you."
I said, staring into his eyes.
If they were sad when I walked in, they were downright depressed now.

"She'll find out eventually if we keep doing this, Mack.
I don't want this to stop but I don't think we have a choice."
he said, his hands cupping my face.

"I'm the other woman, Brian. Of course we're stopping."
I said, trying to get his hands off of me.
Whenever he touched me, I felt incredibly weak.
Like he was my Kryptonite.

"I'm sorry."
he said, before his lips pressed against my forehead.

"No, you're not. I'm just another one of Synyster Gates' victories."
I said, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Could you please stop doing that? I'm Syn when I'm on stage,
not now. I've always been Brian with you and you know that."
he said, wiping his eyes from tiredness.

"Look, it's fine. I get it. It was fun but now you have to think
about your soon to be wife. I get it, really. It's just gonna
take me alot of time to get over you. You were more to me than
just a friend with benefits, Bri. Good luck with her and who knows..
Maybe I'll see you again someday."
I said, trying to hide the pain that was evident on my face.

"I.."
he started but I shook my head and place my hand over his mouth.

"I'm leaving now. I'm gonna miss you."
I said, looking at him one last time before opening the
door and stepping out of the room.
I closed the door and then walked down the hall.
When I stepped in the elevator and the doors closed, I allowed
the sobs to come out completely.
The entire ride down, I was crying like a baby.

Arriving at the appartment, I went straight to my bedroom
and locked the door, so Liv wouldn't come in.

I ignored my phone and I ignored Liv's attempts to talk to me.
I just wanted to sleep and forget all about Synyster fucking Gates.

----

The last encounter between Brian and me had been a month
ago and I still wasn't the same person.
He'd had more impact on my life then I ever thought possible.

I was still in bed most of the time. I went out to work
when I had to and when I got home I ate something, just to keep Liv
happy and then went back to bed, just lying there. I didn't
want to do anything else.

"Mack, for the thousandth time, could you please just
come sit and watch a movie with me? It's been a while and
you can't keep doing this to yourself."
Liv said, sitting on my bed, near my feet.

"I'm sorry Liv. I know I'm being pathetic but I really
don't feel like doing anything anymore."
I said, sitting up to face her.

"It's almost like you're mourning over someone. Last time
I checked he was still alive. And single by the way."
she said, shrugging.

"What?"
I asked, my eyesbrows furrowing.

"Yeah, if you were really sorta seeing Synyster Gates, he broke
up with his fiancee about two weeks ago. I couldn't find out why
so I just assume he totally loves you."
Liv said, smiling.

I laughed and shook my head.
"Sometimes I don't know if I should love you or kick your ass."

"Love me, that's a given though. Aw, Mack, please just watch one
movie with me?"
she asked, grabbing hands and pouting like her life depended on it.

I sighed and shrugged.
"I guess. I'll be up in 10 minutes."

"Yay!"
Liv jumped up and hugged me.
"How about Twilight?"

"Robert Pattinson as a vampire is very yummy but
I think it's best if we choose something less romantic."
I said, stretching.
Then there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get that, you think of the movie you wanna see, 'kay?"
Liv said, while walking out of the door.

I heard Liv opening the door and then I heard a male voice.
Pulling on some socks, I stood up and walked inside of the livingroom.

"Eerrm. Mack. Someone's here to see you."
Liv said, softly.

I looked up at her and saw Brian in the doorway, looking at me.
My heart started pounding in my chest, my breath got stuck in
my throat and my eyes widened.

"What the.."
I said, staring at him.
He looked pretty miserable, eyes so sad it broke my heart.

"Hey Mack. Can I talk to you for a second?"
he asked, nervously.

"Yeah, I guess. Liv? Liv. Liv!"
I had to call her three times before she reacted.

"Mhhuh? Yeah, what?"
she asked, facing me.

"Could you move over so Brian can step in?"
I asked, smiling at her face.

"Yeah, of course. Sorry. Come in!"
she said, opening the door a bit further and allowing him to step in.

"So you're Liv."
Brian said, smiling.

"And you're Brian."
Liv said, smiling at him.

"I'm afraid so. Sorry that she couldn't tell you, you know.. before."
he said, scratching the back of his head.

"Now I understand, no worries. I'll leave you to it.
Mack, do you want coffee or something? I can bring some if I come back."
she said, grabbing her bag.

"I'll take a hot chcolate. You want anything?"
I asked Brian.

"Coffee would be nice. Just black, nothing fancy."
he replied, looking at me instead of Liv.

"Okay, consider it done."
Liv said, smiling,

"Thanks Liv."
I said, smiling thankfully at her.

"No problem."
She said, before walking out of the appartment and closing the door.

"You look like shit."
I said, looking at Brian.

"Gee, thanks."
he said, frowning.

"It's true. You look like you haven't slept in days."
I said, pointing out why I thought he looked terrible.

"I haven't."
he replied, wiping his eyes.

"So.. Why are you here?"
I asked him, still standing.

"I came to tell you that I broke up with my fiancee."
he said.

"I know."
I replied, finally sitting down.

"You do?"
he seemed surprised.

"Liv told me. Why'd you do it?"
I wanted to know.

"Because of you. The day you left, crying.. It broke my heart.
And then I started thinking and I realised that I felt better around
you than I did around anyone else. I couldn't marry her, knowing I was
in love with you."
he said, sitting down next to me and looking into my eyes.

"You.. what?"
I asked flabberghasted.

"Mack, I love you. I realised that when I started thinking
about me and her and then about us. The way I feel when I'm with
you is so much better than when I was with her. You're everything
I want and then some. You're perfect, Mack."
Brian said.

I looked back at him in shock.
Surely he was mistaken me for someone else, he had to be.

"I don't know.. I'm.. I've been miserable the past month, Bri.
This doesn't make sense. You're supposed to get married soon."
I said, shaking my head slightly.

"I'm not."
he said, simply.

"You shouldn't love me."
I replied, confused as hell.

"Why not?"
he asked, not understanding.

"I'm just plain old Mackenzie Willows. You're Synyster Gates. It
doesn't make sense, Brian, it doesn't."
I said, trying to make him understand.

"It does. If you've been miserable, like I've been, you must feel
something for me, too."
he said, his eyes lighting up.

"Of course I do. I've been in love with you since the first
time we hooked up in your bunk."
I confessed, smiling a bit.

"Then everything makes sense.
I'm just a guy alot of people know and who travels the world
alot. But I'm still just a guy. I fall in love, too and that's exactly
what happened."
Brian said, stroking my cheek gently with his fingers.

"I love you too, Bri."
I said before smiling and closing the distance between our lips.

Kissing him had always had a huge effect on me.
Knowing he kissed me while he loved me was even better.
I felt bad for being the one he broke the wedding off for but
I felt completely ecstatic with the way things had turned out.
Finally, I could tell everybody about us and I'd never been happier.