The Richardson List

“Vaginas,” Parker said, his passive face showing no sign of a betraying smile as Carter would have expected from the boy.

Smile or not, a peal of laughter rippled through the air courtesy of the raven-haired girl. Clutching the side of her stomach she attempted to calm herself down, only to look back at the boy and regain laughing once again. And it wasn’t the word itself that instigated the hysterical laughter, she was mature enough to hear such words and not giggle like a four-year old. However, the notion behind this particular word was just so weird she couldn’t help but laugh.

As she averted her gaze onto the floor and once again tried to sober up, Parker remained with a serious face. Once she was able to glance his way without pressing her hand over her mouth to block the laughter, she cocked an eyebrow in his direction.

“Vaginas?” she echoed, snorting afterward.

He nodded his head, clearly finding this all very serious. “Yes! Seriously, vaginas are the only reason I’m not gay.” As he said this he finally cracked the smile that Carter was awaiting.

Chuckling slightly Carter could only form one coherent word to this statement. “Why?”

He learned further into the couch cushions. “It’s quite simple really. All girls do is bitch and complain, whining about everything possible things all day long. This and that and nagging and shit, all the time, I can’t do that. Seriously! But… I just can’t go gay,” he explained, grinning cheekily afterward. “The plumbing of dude’s just doesn’t work for me.”

Carter narrowed her eyes, placing her hands on her hips in an attempt to seem menacing.

“All girls do is bitch and complain?” she repeated his words in question, finding that the last time she checked she was in fact of the female race. But there was no real anger in her face, only trying not to laugh again.

To this Parker patted her shoulder comfortingly. “Except you of course, you’re alright.” He grinned, pulling her into a hug to prove his statement that he was able to stand her presence.

A sigh escaped her lips, laced with a slight chuckle, as she shook her head. “Only you Parker, only you.” With a pat on his back she returned his hug with the less amount of effort possible.

He apparently took this as a compliment by the way he jumped from the couch and stroke a pose.

“I know,” he breathed confidently before grinning down at Carter.

Rolling her eyes she grabbed the remote from the floor that had been left abandoned.

“You’re cute and all, but I’m trying to watch TV,” she teased, waving her hand to try and push him out of the way.

Parker sighed and trudged back to the couch, sighing dejectedly and crossing his arms over his chest childishly. When it didn’t grab a reaction he resorted to another melodramatic sigh, peering over to see if Carter had noticed.

She had but decided to ignore it, knowing that if she pretended to disregard him he’d turn agitated in a matter of seconds. And as she had foretold, he changed his position on the couch and gave another try at an exaggerated sigh, louder this time.

When he realized his attempts had gone to waste he gave a groan.

“Hello, you do realize you’ve hurt my feelings deeply and haven’t even apologized?” Parker asked, his furrowed eyebrows clearly communicating his hurt feelings.

Carter’s passive façade cracked and she liberated a small chuckle.

“Shush you, television is on.” She pointed to the screen, the moving picture very enticing to her.

His mouth fell agape, sending Carter an incredulous stare which she didn’t catch.

“I wonder why I’m friends with you,” he muttered under his breath, grabbing a decorative pillow that had been thrown to the floor and hugging it tightly. Pausing for a moment, Carter turned her head to see if what she thought she was seeing was true.

“Are you hugging a pillow?” she asked in disbelief, her eyes wide as they darted from Parker’s face to the pillow in his arms and back again.

Here was a guy who constantly proclaimed his manliness, holding a pillow to his body and pouting.

For a moment he froze before scoffing and throwing the offending cushion across the room as if the damage wasn’t already done.

“Psht, no,” he attempted to save himself from the inevitable embarrassment that was to follow his founding out.

Like before, laughter spilled from Carter’s lips in large amounts. It rang through the room, causing Parker to narrow his eyes at her. Like the many glares he had been sending her way that day she was oblivious and continued to laugh manically, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

Sniffing he stood up from the couch, feeling that he was much too good for this.

“I’m going to go eat meat and watch porn and workout,” he said to Carter, trying to think of the most macho things he could.

Carter’s laughter never ceased as she waved him off, nodding her head to show that she had heard him. Giving one last glare he left the girl on the couch, watching the television screen with a smile.



“So, tell me about school,” Parker mused while they sat on his deck, the rest of his backyard their view. His small Yorkshire terrier was running around frantically, down onto the grass and back up to where the pair sat then repeating the process.

That day had been fairly nice, the summer weather was beginning to edge closer on the city. The sky was a vast blue abyss with a few clouds hanging in the air, blocking out the suns rays occasionally. Carter was glad that she could finally wear t-shirts, getting tired of dragging a sweater along everywhere she went.

When he asked the question she paused for a moment, realizing that never once did she mention the chaos that had been taking place at her school. It wasn’t that she was hiding this piece of information about him; it just never came up into conversation. Hardly anything as weird as that would on normal circumstances.

He seemed to notice her mauling over her thoughts and his interest was instantly piqued.

“What, what’s with school?” he prodded her, shifting closer to her on the steps of the deck.

Their gazes met and she could see the curiosity drowning in his gaze. She didn’t know why, but something was stopping her from spilling about the whole crazy predicament she felt herself in.

Contrary to her doubts, she proceeded to help him anyways.

“Well,” she began out of force of habit. “There’s this guy called Skye Richardson.”

He nodded his head, showing that he was indeed listening.

“Well, he came to our school not to long ago and created this weird kind of list. Whatever, right? Well he kind of rates the girls on the list. It’s pretty much every girl in grade ten. Stupid, right?”

Her gaze had been fixated on the patch of browning grass in front of her, quickly flashing up to Parker once she was done explaining The List.

Intrigue was written across his face, mingling with a sense of shock and amazement. “Wow, that’s… wow.” He blinked, evidently attempting to process the information. “So wait, he rated all the girls?”

She confirmed his question with a nod of the head. “Pretty much.”

He opened his mouth, about to comment about this but Carter had already set off into the next instalment of her rant. “And you know, he rated me kind of low. But he always seems to talk to me! I mean, it’s not just because I sit beside him in Math either. For instance, I went to this party-”

“You went to a party?”

“And he talked to me the entire time. And we ate lunch together, lunch!” She ignored his input, getting lost in her own words and thoughts. It was the first time that she was able to let it all out, to finally get it all off her chest. Whether Parker even seemed remotely interested in hearing her small tirade was not important.

Still, he managed to keep up, cocking his head to the side slightly portraying small bits of confusion.

“Does he like you?” he asked, stating the question that had been constantly irritating her since the day he invited her to lunch.

“You tell me! I don’t have any idea with this guy,” she admitted with a slight whine in her voice. “Oh, and then there’s Audrey!” Carter instantly was back in her moment and Parker sat attentively, awaiting her maniac raving.

He of course was only attempting small talk, being polite. This was probably not what he had in mind when he asked the simply question, still he found himself slightly fascinated by her thoughts.

“Suddenly she’s acting all… weird! She’s so paranoid about everything. Sometimes, out of no where she get’s all tense and really quickly changes the subject. And it all happened after this stupid party, and she won’t even tell me what happened! Supposedly it was ‘boring’. I’m not stupid, seriously.” Crossing her arms over her chest, Carter pouted.

If it was one thing she hated it was not-knowing things. Her curiosity was much too intense for her to wonder about things, let alone important things that were putting her best friend off edge. And since the day at the store the questions floated at the back of her mind, raging when she found herself unoccupied.

All it really did was add onto the larger pile of things she was questioning at the time.

“Oh! And then there’s Nina, this girl Audrey’s all of a sudden besties with. I mean, I have no reason not to like her I just… don’t.” There was a pause as Carter began to maul over her words and the honesty behind them. She really had no legitemate reason not to like this girl, she just really didn’t. A gut feeling, she supposed.

Parker rolled his eyes and sighed at this.

“See, this is what I’m talking about. You don’t even have a reason not to like her, it all ties into before. Girls do this all the time! ”

He grinned as Carter turned to him with her eyes slightly narrowed, slapping him lightly on the arm.

He raised his hands in defence, a smirk still present on his face. “Kidding! But go on.”

“Anyways, Audrey and her are best friends or something now. And, yeah, I have this girl name Tiffany who I hang out with a lot and I like her but… she’s not Audrey, you know? I miss her and her odd ways.” Her voice grew quieter at the end, her gaze falling back to the familiar path of grass.

It was petty and stupid to dislike Nina, but the feeling that she was slowly ripping Audrey away from her was apparent.

Parker scooted closer to her, their thighs now skimming each other. Sympathy was marked on his face and Carter was surprised to see that he actually looked like he cared, considering this was Parker who didn’t care about anything except making sure that no one found out he liked to hug pillows.

“What about Cole?”

Carter restrained the eye roll she was very tempted to do at his words. “Cole? He’s still around sort of but it’s always Lily now. Lily this, Lily that, oh my god will Lily leave me? Do you think Lily will like this? Lily, Lily, Lily!”

Involuntarily her face nose scrunched in abhorrence, earning a chuckle from Parker.

“You just hate everyone, don’t you?” he teased, laughing while throwing a small rubber ball that his dog had been nuzzling closer to him the entire time of Carter’s speech.

She grinned cheekily at him. “Shush, or I’ll tell everyone you’re a closet pillow-hugger,” Carter threatened him, her laughter mingling with his in the air.

A gasp escaped his lips as he placed a hand on his chest, pretending to be shocked.

“Oh no, please don’t. I beg of you.” Parker mock-pleaded with a grin on his face.

Carter pretended to think about it for a moment before giving an exaggerated sigh. “Oh well, I guess I could let I go. Well, if you buy me a frappuccino,” she reasoned with him, shrugging her shoulder and smiling innocently.

His face immediately fell and the unintelligible grumbling ensued. Carter laughed, knowing that it would probably take a lot more convincing. But inside she was finally glad that she was able to get everything off her chest, a feeling of relief washing over her.

Except, even though she able to do this, her problems were still there. Her troubles were still present and she was still in the same predicament as before. Even though, she could breathe a little easier and there no longer was this giant weight on her chest, she felt a little lighter, and for that moment, that was enough.