The Richardson List

“Get up,” a firm voice ordered, the covers being ripped from Carter’s limp form afterward.

Her fingers that were tangled within the cotton sheet remained unresisting, allowing the warmth to slip away as the bitter surroundings spilled over her exposed skin, causing goose bumps to rise for the occasion. She remained sprawled across the mattress with no motivation to move. With her eyes shut tightly, she willed the intimidating figure looming over her bed to disappear, hoping that without enough concentration her wishes would be fulfilled and the blonde would evaporate.

Though, it seemed that with her lack of energy and overall lack of caring, it didn’t. This meant that when she took a daring peek she was greeted by the harsh gaze of her dear friend, Audrey, and as soon as she allowed her eyes to drift open, they were closed.

“Go away,” the exhausted girl mumbled into her pillow, burying her fingers underneath in a futile attempt for warmth.

And while she sounded quite convincing to herself, apparently not to Audrey who continued to stand beside her bed with her arms crossed over her chest, not very pleased at all, it seemed.

A few moments passed of tense quiet, so thick that Carter felt it weigh against her neck. Or that could have been the fact that only a limited amount of air could find her nose buried in the pillow. Either way, she could do without Audrey looming over her.

The edge of the bed curved downwards slightly, taking her by surprise. Carter made no conscious efforts to acknowledge it though, instead focused on allowing the oxygen into her lungs. All she wanted was for Audrey to go away, just to be alone.

“Carter,” the voice was soft, almost as if it was afraid of breaking the silence. “You’ve got to get up.”

At the attempted coxing, Carter lifted her head, breathing in the accessible air deeply and eyes opening to see concern on Audrey’s face.

“I don’t want to,” she grumbled, falling back onto the comforts of her bed, however pressed her ear to the cushion and now held Audrey’s gaze.

“Carter you’ve… got to get up, seriously. I get that you’re probably pissed at yourself but I mean, you guys will get over it. You guys are like lovers! And what’s a dispute between lovers?”

At her words Carter hid her face as the heated blush washed over her cheeks, cursing Audrey’s horrible metaphors. “We’re not lovers,” she said dryly into the pillow.

It made no difference to the oblivious blonde who continued attempting to allure her friend from the mattress. She continued spilling the awkward words of what Carter guessed was supposed to be a pep talk, filled with weird similes that didn’t make any sense.

The mop of raven hair hadn’t left her fortress all weekend, aside from the times where her stomach demanded food, or when she had to go pee. Otherwise she remained either wallowing in her pity party or simply falling into an empty sleep.

“Okay, you screwed up. I mean, you should’ve told Cole, but you didn’t. Come on, it’s just Lily! He’ll get over it!” Audrey reassured the girl with a bright smile lighting up her face, pouring every ounce of reassurance into her voice.

“But, but you should’ve saw him Audrey. He didn’t want anything to do with me! He doesn’t want anything to do with me!”

The familiar tears began brimming over, their threatening presence causing Carter’s vision to blur slightly. With each time she remembered came something akin to waterfalls. She held no control over her emotions wreaking havoc.

Empathy shimmered in Audrey’s eyes, a comforting hand reaching out and placing itself on Carter’s shoulder. “Come on, we’re supposed to take down Skye Richardson, remember?”

Carter lifted her head to see Audrey’s lips curled into a light smile. She could feel the edges of her own quirk up slightly.

“It was stupid anyways,” she admitted, beginning to swallow back the tears though only remaining partly successful.

“No, it wasn’t.”

Carter gave her a deadpan look. Audrey laughed.

“No, seriously, I mean you’ve got that picture. Looks like Skye has got a dark past?” She rubbed her hands together in a pseudo-evil genius manner. “How juicy is that?”

Carter let out a small laugh, rolling her eyes at her friend’s antics.

“You’re stupid, you know that?”

Audrey merely beamed at the girl, happy to even somewhat relieve Carter of the guilt she’d been drowning in. And though she didn’t show it, Carter knew what the girl was doing, and smiled for her sake.

That didn’t mean inside she didn’t feel every moment her heart pounded painfully against her ribcage. Of course she still did, and she still felt guilt course through her veins every breath she took. It clawed at her sanity, wrapping its throbbing talons and digging into her mind. All she wanted was a chance to explain to him, a minute, that’s all.

But she forced that to the back of her mind, a sigh falling from her mouth as she regained her composure. Audrey smirked smugly as a response.

“Ah, is that a white flag I see?” she teased, grabbing one of Carter’s free hands and throwing her off the bed, only allowing the girl a few moments to find her balance before dragging her down the hall.

Carter was still amazed to that day on the muscles hidden so very well under Audrey’s skin.

“Okay, okay,” Carter let out a breathless laugh, stumbling around in a pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt that overwhelmed her. “Can you let me get changed?”

Audrey paused for a moment, taking into consideration what Carter said. “Ah, you’re just going to my house, what’s the point?”

Carter took in her reasoning and since trying to rid herself from Audrey’s grasp was next to impossible, she found herself being dragged across the street to a few houses down to where the blonde’s humble house was, without any objections. She couldn’t have cared less, really.

Once she had been successfully pulled all the way to Audrey’s home, complete with red brick light enough to pass for pink and a grey roof to create a feminine flavour, she was thrown inside. However, not a complaint left her throat once she was greeted by a delicious aroma wafting in from the kitchen.

True to the essence of the house, only women could be found inside. Audrey’s aunt who was bearing a child lounged in the living room watching her favourite- wedding television. And in the kitchen was the blonde’s mother, performing her favourite pastime to which no one held any on objections to, cooking.

Some may take the consistency of men dashing out of the Bennett household as a god-given sign, though Audrey was just as desiring for romance as the rest of them.

“And I mean, what’s more comforting than fresh baked cookies?” Audrey laughed while kicking her shoes into the closet.

At the sound of her voice, a woman called out a greeting to both of them. How Carter knew she was there was beyond her, maybe it was woman’s intuition. Nonetheless, she returned the gestured with a polite hello and a smile.

They broke the threshold into the kitchen, each surface glimmering with the sunshine licking in through the window, filled with ingredients. When her mother noticed them come in she instantly stopped her mixing, turning to Carter with her eyebrows knitted in sympathy.

“Oh Carter, it’s alright, Cole will get over it! I made some cookies!”

She buried the girl into a supposed comforting hug that only rendered Carter breathless from the pressure, but it was appreciated anyways.

“Thanks.”

She smiled, eyeing the batch of freshly made cookies set on one of the counters, she swore they were calling for her, and she’d hardly eaten anything.

Her mom noticed and barked out a laugh as Audrey had already attacked them, one hand held a cookie she was chomping on and the right with another for later. Carter felt she needed a little in on this action.

In a matter of moments she found herself seated at the table, Audrey’s aunt had joined them too, with a platter in front of her. A light sensation had consumed her being as she nibbled on the cookie, listening to the rambunctious laughter from her aunt and mom.

Still, the thought of Cole was still current, perched in the back of her mind and waiting until she was alone and vulnerable to dig it’s claws into her mind. She could feel its presence, waiting.

She’d grown so familiar with the blank expression on her face, portraying a person who was composed and calm. It masked the chaos churning inside, ripping her apart at the seams and lingering until she crumbled.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” she interrupted a story that Audrey was so animatedly telling, and everyone nodded at her in acknowledgment. Carter took this as her cue and lifted to her feet, advancing towards the bathroom without another word.

Once she was away from their calculating gazes that she noticed were constantly sizing her up, she cracked. She flicked on the light switch, inhaling the scent of bleach and glade air freshener. Her face fell, finally displaying what she felt inside, as she took a seat on the porcelain toilet.

Her fingers trembled slightly as she sent another pathetic text to Cole, begging and pleading for him just to give her a chance to explain. All she needed was five minutes, if she could only have that much time to explain why she had done what she had done. If only he would listen to her, maybe, just maybe, he could understand why. She was only looking out for him, sort of, she was just so scared.

She was simply so terrified of losing him, and with Lily already tugging him from her fingers, slowly vanishing from her sight, she was scared. She was scared that he would realize that he could’ve done so much better than being friends with Carter, so much better than putting up with her pessimistic shit time and time again.

And with Audrey slowly disappearing from her life as well, she panicked. Lily had presented a proposition, and she took it without another thought. Pretend that she was oblivious, like she knew nothing, and her and Cole’s friendship would live to see another day. Carter knew the tight hold that she had on Cole and had no doubt that with another pushing; she could finally push Cole away from her.

A small, bitter chuckle left her lips. All in all, no matter what she did, she lost. Of course she had Audrey, and that she was so grateful for, but she still missed Cole so much. She didn’t feel like there were holes in her chest, and she wouldn’t compare herself to some sort of cheese, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t do anything to get him back.

To simply hear his laughter ring through her ears once more time, as sickeningly cheesy as it sounded. To inhale his familiar scent of mint and cologne, to hear his stupid remarks about his giant ego. She just wanted to talk to him again. She just wanted him to be her friend.

As a friend, it was natural, wasn’t it? To want all those things? Of course, when Audrey had made her leave of absence she missed things that were quite different, hearing her idiotic rambles and crazy antics, though she didn’t find herself missing Audrey’s smell or hugs. But that was just because she had a different friendship with both of them.

Friendship was what Carter had with Audrey, and Cole. Undoubtedly, the boy and her were just friends.