Save Me

.:.Lexi's p.o.v.:.
i was put in this hospital on May 14th. it is now July 7th. the past month and a half has been pure hell. it hurt to walk up until this past week their taking my stitches out of my area today and then i'll be able to leave. my biological mother never once came by to see me. fron what i heard she was the only one who went to his funeral. but the towns people vandalized his grave site and head stone.
in my heart i hated him. i was glad he was dead. he raped me, beat me, and nearly killed me. i have 2 bullet holes on either side of my chest their scars now but it looked kinda cool. Matt, his parents (technically my parents), and Zacky were with me everyday even if it was for a few minutes. i saw more of Zacky and Matt than anything.
"hey i brought you some clothes to wear for when we leave." Zacky said walking in as i had just got finished with my last test.
"great. is it hot out?" i asked
"yes very. i brought you shorts and a shirt."
"your a prince." i smiled grabbing my bag. i stood and looked at him.
"right, i'll be out here waiting." he said leaving.
After what happened i didnt want to be revealed infront of anyone. i was skeptical about the shorts, they were too short. for some reason i was like worried about anyone seeing me naked. i had no guy doctors at all only girls. i didnt want another guy to see me naked again.i know Zacky is my brother but i dont feel right anymore when men are around. i put my hair up and put on the tank top and shorts then the sandals he got me and i grabbed the bag and walked out.
"ready?" he asked.
"yes." i smiled but shivered as he placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me out the door.
"are you ok?" he asked noticeing my uneasiness.
"yeahh im fine."
"am i making your uncomfortable?" he asked
"its not that. its silly really."
"i understand. its ok. i dont wanna come off as weird. your very vulnerable and i get that you are uneasy around guys."
"but i shouldnt be that way towards you or Matt or dad."
"it'll take time to get used to men again. and believe me i understand and i dont love you any less." he said shaking my hand.
"i love you!" i smiled at the hand shake.
once we got back home i went straight to my room and locked the door. the boys were having some guys come over to try out for their band. needless to say i didnt want to be around the new guys not knowing what they were gonna do. I sat and thought about what i was going to do. i was afraid of men so i couldnt help people because they could be boys and i would be afraid of them.
i made up my mind what i was going to do. i researched it on the internet and it was bad. you couldnt talk to your family anymore. you had to stay there and be by yourself. i think thats just what i need to get my life on track and get back to normal. over dinner tonight i'll let my family know what im doing and be sure to go do it soon.
"Lexi!" Matt chanted knocking on my door.
"yes?" i asked.
"we got a new guitarist!" he cheered as i opened the door.
"thats great."
"would you like to meet him?"
"uhm..thats ok maybe another time."
"oh well alright thats fine. his name is Brian Haner and he is really good."
"maybe i can take a quick peek but dont leave my side." i settled.
"no problem hes good people." he assured me.
we walked downstairs and out into the garage. Zacky and this Brian fellow were having a guitar battle. there were notes and sounds and all other different types of things going on in here and they were laughing and carrying on. Brian was about the same height as Matt. he was tanned had muscles. short black hair and had a couple of tattoos. he looked no older than we were.
"Lexi!" Zacky smiled noticeing my presence.
"hey." i laughed as he gave me a hug.
"Brian i want you to meet my amazing sister Lexi!" Zacky introduced.
"nice to meet you." he smiled extending his hand.
"like wise." i said then finally accepting his hand shake.
"its ok i dont bite." he laughed seeing my hesitation.
"good to know." i teased.
"well we came up with a band name." Matt chimed in.
"oh. what is it?" i asked eager to know.
"Avenged Sevenfold."
"a7x." i giggled.
"what?" they all asked.
"A for Avenged. number 7 for Seven. and X for fold." i schooled.
"see there ya go got our own abrieviation!" Brian stated.
"well you sound really good on the guitar im impressed. how old are you?" i stated.
"why thank you, and i am 18."
"thats good talent for ya'lls age."
"most deff. but hey i gotta get going i'll see you all tomorrow! like i say this guy is sick on the drums his name is Jimmy and you'll just have to see it he's out of this world." Brian said leaving.
"i like him." i said confidently.
"good we do too." Zacky said hugging me.
"DINNER!!" dad shouted from the house.
we raced to the table. we grabbed our clean white plates and stormed over to the food that was all neatly placed out like a buffet and began piling food onto the plates making a horrible mess but its ok because mom knows we clean it after dinner anyways. after we sat down we all took hands and said grace like every night and then before anyone could start a conversation about their day i decided to tell them of my news.
"uhm i have something to say." i said nervous.
"the floor is yours!" mom smiled.
"well ive been thinking about things since ive been in the hospital. i cant seem to get the thought of what happened out of my head. it hauts me and i dont know how to handle it. i cringed when my own brother shook my hand it just aint living." i opened up.
"go on hunny." dad reasurred that i had his full attention.
"ive decided to fly to Rome and become a catholic nun." i said and the room went silent after Zacky spit out his coke, mom dropped her fork, Matt coughed on his rice, and dad just sat there not making any sort of expression.
"uhm Lexi, you have tattoos, and piercings. i dont know if they'll let you be a nun?" Zacky said trying to make an excuse.
"you get forgivness for those things and your fully clothed so noone will see. i dont wanna go to hell." i said
"why would you go to hell?" dad asked.
"because im glad that Chad is dead. i fukking hate him for what he's done and i cant forgive him and if you die without forgivness in your heart you go to hell."
"hm. Alexis." dad began i felt a bit weird because that was the first time he has ever used my full first name. "hun i love you like the daughter we were never able to have. i mean that from the depths of my soul. i know that your hurting and you want to seek God to help you. if this is what you really want then i have no problem putting you on the plane myself." he said truthfully.
"this is what i really want."
"Lexi your not going to do this forever are you? i mean you cant talk to anyone hell you cant talk at all you take an oath of silence over there." Zacky said.
"this wont be a lifetime affair. but i know i;ll be gone a few years. and i know i cant talk but this will teach me what i need to have forgivness."
"why cant you be a nun here?" Matt asked.
"because it wouldnt do any good. i would want to come home. i need to be somewhere, where i know im gonna stay there i need a new enviornment."
"gotcha." he responded.
silence fell throughout the rest of dinner i quickly ate so i could hurry up and get done. i went over to the sink and put away the left overs quickly placed things in the dishwasher and washed a few pots and pans then went upstairs.
"hey hunny." dad said lightly knocking on my door.
"hey dad." i smiled.
"when would you like to go?" he asked.
"whens the soonest?"
"if you'd like i can get you there tonight."
"really?"
"yes do you wanna go tonight?"
"i really do."
"pack your things i'll call for a ticket and get you set up."
"thanks dad. i appreciate this."
"its no problem." he said patting my shoulder.
i went and packed a few key things and then i went and got in the shower. i took a very long shower and made sure i cleaned everything. i got out and got dressed in jeans and a t shirts. i took my bags downstairs and everyone was sitting around waiting for me.
"ready?" mom asked.
"as ready as i'll ever be." i faked a smile.
we got in the car and it was an awkward silent ride to the air port. i set my gaze out the window to take in one last look at California before leaving it. i dont know when i was coming back or if i would ever come back for that matter. i didnt wanna think about anything right now i was just wanting to get out of here. i wish my family could come with me but i think that this is one experiance that i have to endure on my own.
"baby girl, please dont stay forever. when your ready to come home we will be right here at this very spot waiting for you." Matt said hugging me.
"i'll come back to you Matty." i smiled hugging him.
"we are so very proud of you." mom said and dad nodded tears forming in their eyes as they hugged me.
"i love you." i choked tears spilling out.
"i cant say anything right now but that i love you so much." Zacky said crying his eyes out tightly embracing me.
"Zacky please dont cry. i love you too." i cried.
"promise me i'll see you again." he said looking at me.
"i promise." i sniffled kissing his cheek then walking away.
"bye Lexi." they all waved at me.
all i did was blow them a kiss and boarded my flight. i sat there before take off making absolute sure that this is what i wanted to do. and i confirmed that this is. this is exactly what i need to get my life together so i can live with myself. im still young so its not like im going to be gone 30 years. i still want a family but i need this to help me first. i pulled out a note pad and began writing my first and only letter since i wouldnt be able to there i thought i'd write it and send it once i got there and that would be good enough.

Dear Family,
this decision was tough. i never thought i would move away from the ones i love. but you must understand that i need to cleanse myself and try and forget everything that happened to me so i can be able to trust men again and be able to feel safe around my own brothers. Mom you are everything to me. you helped me with so much in my life that i could not begin to thank you enough for. Dad you were the only man in my life that i knew would never let me down i am very fortunate to have someone like you to care for me and love me as much as you do. Matt you are like my twin brother. i love everything about you and i feel like without you im missing part of me your a very good man and your going to make a great husband one day. Zacky my biological brother. my rock. my knight and shimmering armor. my hero. i love you more than you can know. i probably wouldnt be alive if it wasnt for you and your love for me. i want you to be happy. i want you to pursue your band career. and i want you to be rich and famous and live the dream. you guys are my life and i appreciate all you've done for me. i'll be back faster than you can copy the whole dictionary on paper.hahaha.

Forever Yours,
lexi(:

p.s. boys, i made some phone calls, there is a record label ready to sign you. get your 2 other guys and go to the Sun Tan records in Huntington and play for them. i sent in a video of you guys a while back and they loved it. your welcome<3

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/profile?id=1384385
Lexi's outfit leaving the hospital
http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=34089359
Lexi's travel outfit and stuff

Jimmy and Brian

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alrighty then soooo i am very excited about this story everything is falling into place. im glad ive had as many views as ive gotten. if theres anything that isnt clear or anything that needs to be put in or something that you think would be cool to add just let me know! :D