No Clue Why You Left

The group came over, mingling with each other. Ray and Christa spent most of the time talking about music, Mikey and Alicia talked about cats, and Gerard and Lyn-Z spent the time playing tonsil hockey with each other.

Which left me with Jamia. At first we sat together quietly, just staring at any space that wasn't each other's face.

"I'm sorry," She suddenly blurted out, causing me to snap back into reality. "That she left you... but she still might come back.."

I shrugged. "I hope so... I really do." I let my hands drift over the pillow by my side. Addison's pillow. It hadn't left my side since she left and her smell was starting to fade but I really didn't care.

"It'll get better," She smiled softly, standing up and going over to where Christa and Ray where discussing the importance of nylon strings on guitars.

I hope so.

~~

On a poor attempt on distracting myself from Addison I decided to check my Myspace. I ended up searching her.

Scrolling through her pictures I noticed some recently added ones. There was one of Addi being spun by some dude, Her and some other dude falling, among others. I sighed and got off the computer, shaking my head. This was my fault. If I hadn't of said that to her we'd be the ones taking pictures, smiling.

I laid down in bed, pulling her pillow close to my chest. The tour was going to start back up soon. Hopefully I'd be able to throw myself into the music. Deep enough to forget, forgive. To drown.

I am tearing at the edges.