Dirty Laundry

I set the phone on the nightstand and looked at him. ''Don't you ever smile?'' I asked. He shook his head. ''Not even for me?'' I asked. He shook his head. I jutted my lip out in a pout ''Why not?''

''I don't like showing any emotion'' ''You know indifference hurts more than hate right?'' I asked as I traced my finger across his jawline. ''I'm not indifferent..I just don't show my emotion'' he
shrugged.

''Please?'' I batted my lashes. ''No'' ''Pretty pretty please?'' I giggled pecking his lips. ''I have a stupid smile'' ''Oh so you've smiled before?'' ''Once and I vowed to never smile again'' ''Pleeeeaaase'' ''..No'' he hesitated. I smirked as I realized he could be broken. I leaned in kissing him, her rolled so I was on top of him and his arms were around me. his hand rested on my lower back and inched slowly to rest on my butt. ''You'll grab my ass but when I ask for a simple smile you won't do it?'' I snorted. I sat up straddling him tracing the outlines of his face with my forefinger. ''One smile wouldn't hurt would it?'' I asked. ''I look retarded when I smile'' ''I won't laugh'' I meshed my lips as he rolled on top of me. ''That look says otherwise''

''Thats because you're making it seem worse than it probably is'' I tapped his nose. He ducked his head kissing my neck. I laughed as the light shadow on his cheeks tickled me. He pulled away with amused eyes ''What? I'm ticklish'' I shrugged running my hand along his side. He cringed ducking his head and chuckling. ''You're ticklish too'' I smirked trying to raise his head to see his smile. I rolled him on his back and tickled his side again and he laughed out loud. I was surprised to see him so smiley. His chuckle was deep and low and he had two deep dimples in each cheek. I thought his smile was handsome. ''You have a handsome smile why do you think it's stupid?'' I cupped his cheek. ''I just do'' he shrugged.
''well I like your smile'' I laid my head on his chest. It was incredible I was so comfortable with him. I usually hated to be touched but when his arms were around me I felt protected.

one hand was behind his head as the other rested on my hip playing with the hem of my Sofie's. He didn't wear a shirt but he was wearing his pajama bottoms. ''How did you get into it?'' ''What?'' ''Being an assassin?'' ''Matt's mother, Miri'' ''Who is she?'' ''Director of the CIA'' ''So you're in the CIA?'' ''Mhmm..but you're not suppose to know that'' ''Then why tell me?'' ''Because you already know what I am..I wouldn't want you to think I killed just because I got paid for it. I'm also a spy when needed'' ''I thought they didn't recruit assassins anymore'' ''They don't'' he winked putting a finger to his lips.

I laughed nodding ''Oh OK, so Matt's mother is a director of the CIA, why would she recruit her son and a few of his friends?'' ''I was in the air force before I went CIA, Spec Ops,
She saw..potential, I guess I would say, in me'' ''Potential? You didn't sleep with her did you?'' ''God no'' he said horrified. I laughed at his disgust. ''The woman is a bitch, but she has her moments'' ''Are you related to Matt?'' I asked. He shook his head stiffly. I pursed my lips but shrugged. ''I told you I'm an orphan'' ''Aren't you ever curious..Kentigem isn't a very common name you could always-'' ''If they cared for me then they would have found me already, if I'm not worth caring for then I don't give a damn. I've got my life and I'm fine with the way I live it if they don't want me a part of theirs that's fine by me''

''You can't really mean that can you?'' ''I do..I'm not a very forgiving person, I don't give mercy'' ''What about me and my sister? You gave mercy on us'' ''Thats because a compromise presented itself and I thought it beneficial if I could walk away without killing a whole family'' ''Is that what you tell yourself?'' ''Yes''

''Tell me the real reason'' ''You'll think I'm soft'' he grumbled. ''Sensitivity can be really sexy'' ''..I was jealous'' ''Of?'' ''You and your sister'' ''Why?'' ''I don't have a family..I don't know what it's like to have siblings, you put your life on the line for your family. No one has ever done that for me, I was jealous, I wanted what you and your sister had. She begged you not to go and you pushed her aside and left anyway for her own good..'' he shrugged.
I smiled lightly feeling for him. Poor Smith. My poor little Smith. ''I'll let you in on a little secret, family isn't all that it's cracked up to be, I'm the responsible one. Sasha is older but she's childish and she blames our parents because of the training we endured and the divorce our parents made us live through, so she acts like a kid now saying she was deprived of a childhood and that she deserves one now, unfortunately her late childhood cost me greatly.
I was always there to pick her up, I was the one who fought her battles, I took care of the kids, cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, I became my mom. Before my mom married my step dad we were poor, we barely made ends meet so my mother took on so many jobs, which was hard because she's from a third world country and she didn't have an education, the only jobs she could take were mediocre and menial, cleaning houses,
housekeeping in hotels that kind of thing and on top of all that the racism that came along with being Hispanic. But life wasn't miserable, not until we moved in with my step dad. Then I started getting suicidal, I think in the past two years I thought about suicide three times a week and attempted it at least three times. Believe me when I say that though I love my family I think I'd do just fine on my own. I say you're lucky'' ''I don't feel lucky'' he shrugged.

''What do you want really?'' I asked. ''..I have what i could ever ask for'' ''Then you don't ask for much..not to be offensive but your house is almost empty, now tell me what you want'' ''I'll sound like an idiot I'm not one to talk about my feelings shanell just drop it'' he sighed. ''Fine don't tell me'' I shrugged.

''I didn't mean it like that'' he grumbled ''I know, my father is the same way. I just want you to know I'm here'' I shrugged playing with the little blond hairs on his chest. ''I think we should
sleep while kyle is out'' ''OK good night'' I kissed his cheek rolling off of him and laying on my side. He put his arm around me laying his head on my shoulder. I curled up to him and frowned looking to the wall in front of me. He was avoiding my questions.

I know that some relationships need a few lies now and then but this was new, it almost felt like we've been together for a while but it's new. I was still getting used to thinking of him
as my boyfriend and it not being an act for his colleagues. Sure there are somethings that you just don't talk about but it would be nice to know what is behind the mask. At least he opened up a little. I got a bit more out of him than expected but at least he gave it away. It just means he still doesn't trust me. I just fear he won't ever trust me even if he tells me he loves me.
not that I expect him to tell me he loves me anytime soon. I guess what I'm trying to say, or think quietly in my head, is that I wish he wasn't as private as he was. Most of the things that
I learned about him were from his friends. He has yet to even tell me his real name. All I know is that his last name is kentigem. I wish he'd tell more. Honesty is always the best policy but what if he hasn't lied at all? What if he just hasn't said anything like he's been doing. Why do guys have to be so hard to figure out? I thought women were the ones who were complicated not the other way around.

He kissed my shoulder lightly ''good night'' he whispered bringing me out of my thoughts. His arms scooped me up pulling me into him snuggling his head on my chest.
I smiled closing my eyes getting comfortable. I fell into a light sleep knowing that Kyle would be up soon. I just can't wait until he starts sleeping through the night. He always seemed
like a happy baby in the day time but at night he was so pissy and finicky. But I guess that's babies for you.

After waking up a few times in the night I awoke in the morning to a sliver of sunlight escaping the curtains. I could hear Smith in the shower and Kyle was still asleep. I rolled over yawning and stretching getting comfortable again to fall back asleep when Smith walked out. He went to the closet and grabbed his uniform. ''This early?'' I looked at the clock. It was only seven.

''I have to take Matt back to Miri's place she's flipping out about him and on the way back I've got an errand'' he sighed. ''Your boots are in the corner behind the door'' I yawned again.
He sat on the edge of the bed pulling on his boots then grabbing his shirt. I grabbed my glasses from the nightstand and put them on to see better. ''Just be careful'' ''I will'' he said
quietly. I could see by the stiffness of his face he wasn't used to people fairing him well. He stood up pulling on his coat and checking his guns ''I already loaded them'' I snuggled into
my pillow. ''Where would I be without you'' he chuckled walking over to me and kissing my cheek ''Late..now don't you have things to do'' I smiled up at him. He leaned in kissing me again and rushed out ''I'll be back before dinner'' he said quietly as to not wake up Kyle.

I propped my self on my elbow and ran my fingers back through my hair. What about his breakfast? I guess he can grab something on the go. He's a big boy I can't take care of everything everyday. I removed my glasses and plopped back into bed pulling the blankets over my head and falling back asleep for what seemed like ten minutes then waking up because Kyle was crying.