Dirty Laundry

''I've got to go out tonight'' Smith sighed as he came out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist. I was flipping through the channels and just looked at him. ''What? You're bruised and can barely pick Kyle up because of your ribs'' ''I can pick up-''

''I see you flinch in pain so don't tell me it doesn't hurt'' I growled. He disappeared into the closet grumbling to himself. ''..Was that why Miri came?'' I asked. He poked his head and the rest of him followed. ''Yeah'' he shrugged on his black shirt ''Put an undershirt on'' I got up went to his sock drawer and took out a white tank top for him. ''Why?'' ''Because it's going to keep the bandage in place if you move too much'' I rolled my eyes ''I'm not putting any bandage on'' he shrugged. I pursed my lips and he smiled lightly shrugging on his jacket ''Baby I'll be fine, this isn't the first time I've broken a few ribs besides it's a simple snipe. I'm not going anywhere near anyone'' he tried to assure.

I twisted my lips crossing my arms. ''I'll be fine'' he kissed my cheek. ''Mhmm'' I just looked at him. ''Why are you giving me that face'' he chuckled. ''Because that's what they all say 'I'll
be fine nothing will happen' and the next thing you know their home injured again'' ''Like I said I'm not going anywhere near anyone'' ''Fine'' I sighed. ''I won't be home until breakfast though, I have to go to Richmond'' ''OK'' I nodded. He turned away from me and went to get his boots. When he sat down to pull them on I meshed my lips. I wanted to ask him about Miri.

He must have noticed my hesitation because he looked up at me. ''What?'' I walked the few steps before I was in front of him. ''I'm curious'' I shrugged with my arms crossed. ''About?'' he raised a brow. I let one hand loose waving it around unsure how to start ''Well..I. I noticed a few things when Miri was he-'' ''On with it'' it seemed that bringing up her name made him impatient. ''Is she your mother?'' I meshed my lips regretting it since the glare that crossed his face made me look away. He looked down at his boots but didn't say a word. With angry jerks he pulled at his laces and tied them. I didn't dare ask him anything since he seemed irritated. ''I shouldn't have said anything I'm sorry'' I said quietly. He shook his head ''Don't you were just curious'' ''Then are you going to answer?'' I said hesitantly.

He stopped lacing his other boot and sighed a quiet ''Yes'' ''Yes?..'' I urged. ''She's my mother'' ''I thought you said you didn't know-'' ''She gave me up why do you think I don't want to see the likes of her around me?'' ''You work for her'' ''Before I found out she was my mother, if I had known what I know now then I'd never have agreed to my training and I'd just have stayed in the Air force'' he growled. ''Does she know you know?'' ''No, I don't think she knows who I am, but we don't see eye to eye she just keeps me around because I'm good at what I do'' ''Are you mad at her?'' ''Hell yeah, she had me, then only a few years after that she had Matt, why keep him but not me? And don't think I'm jealous, I'm angry because she denied me a family'' he said hurt.

I sat down beside him and laid my head on his shoulder. ''Family isn't all it's cracked up to be, sure it's nice in the long run but on the short side there's always someone there making your life a living hell. Sad part is you can't escape them because you live together. I won't say I understand how you feel because I don't, all I can say is I'm sorry. I understand the necessity for a family but I don't understand what it's like to not have one, and I'm sorry that it hurts you and all I can say is you have me and Kyle now. It won't make up for anything but we're here. I just want you to know that'' I wasn't really sure what to say. I had no insight into not having a family. ''All I wanted as a kid was a family..growing up was tough, no one cared what you did or where you were. I'd leave for days on end and sleep in the forest hoping that when I got back someone would be worried but no one ever was. In an orphanage
it feels like you could die and no one would notice, no one would miss you, no one would care. So I stopped trying and just went on with life. I didn't talk much since no one sat down and taught me how to speak, I learned by listening around me. The one thing the orphanage didn't deny was education, once I was old enough I went to school but the years before that, I was a disassociated baby, I didn't respond to people the way I should have'' he sighed looking down at his boots.

I felt sorry for him. I placed my hand under his chin and turned his face to look at me.
''You do have a family, it may not seem like it but me and Kyle are your family, I love you, you know that. And even though you think you've been denied things, there's always time to
access them and the only way to be denied them again is if you let yourself be denied'' I reached for his hand and squeezed it comfortingly. He just looked at me with those pale blue eyes and I could see years of hurt. It was almost heart breaking to see him like that, and combined with his injuries made him look worse.

I smiled lightly at him hoping it could lift his mood or at the very least take the pain out of his eyes but it didn't. ''I can't do anything to make you smile right now can I?'' I whispered. He shook his head. ''Just know I'm here, I can't make the memories or pain go away but I can hold your hand when they're there'' I whispered leaning my forehead against his. He kissed me ''That's good enough for me'' he whispered laying me on the bed. I smiled kissing him back. But all too soon he groaned. ''Damn it I have to go'' ''I don't want you to'' I sighed straddling him. ''If I don't then Miri will suspend me on insubordination'' he grumbled annoyed at Miri. ''You're kidding me'' I sighed. He shook his head. I leaned in kissing him then rolling off of him so he could get up. He stood up righting his shirt and coat. ''I'll be home soon'' he cleared his throat. I leaned over to the nightstand and handed him his phone. ''You better'' I smiled. he chuckled leaning in pecking my lips then walking out of the room.

I plopped into bed sighing. Cerberus jumped on the bed beside me and I stroked his fur.
I groaned when my phone rang. ''Hello?'' I sighed. ''Hey it's me'' ''Oh hey Li'' I smiled. I always
talked to my friend Lina at night, sometimes at two in the morning sometimes at one but tonight it was only eight. ''Why so early?'' I snuggled beside Cerberus. ''Caleb is being an asshole again'' ''What did he do this time?'' I growled. She fell silent ''So how is Sasha?'' she asked about my sister changing the subject. ''Don't change the subject'' I sighed. ''He was drunk'' she sighed. ''And?'' ''He didn't mean it'' ''What?'' ''He hit me'' she sighed. ''Lina'' I growled sitting up ''Where are you?'' I grumbled. ''At home why?'' ''I'm in town..I'm coming over'' ''You are!'' I could hear her eyes widen. It made me laugh ''Yes I moved in with my boyfriend'' ''Holy shit! You have a boyfriend'' ''Thanks'' I grumbled wryly. ''I didn't mean it like that'' ''Is Caleb there?'' ''He's asleep, I just wanted to talk to you'' ''Lina this isn't the first time he's done this, but it'll be the last or so help me the next time he hits you drunk or sober I'll kill him and shrink his head and wear it around my neck'' ''That's a pretty picture'' she snorted. ''Hang tight I'm coming over'' I hung up getting dressed. I packed Kyle's diaper bag and put him in his car seat then grabbed my keys.