Dirty Laundry

We sat back down at dinner and Lina looked at me then Smith with wide eyes and meshed lips. ''..So it's raining'' she said absently thinking we were still in bad moods. ''Li we're fine''
I sighed. ''Really? cuz storming out like that doesn't imply that your fine'' ''We talked it over'' Smith shrugged. ''Mhmm..and the verdict?'' she raised a brow. ''Li eat your spaghetti'' I rolled
my eyes. ''What? I wanna know'' ''He's taking a week off'' ''Can he do that?'' ''Yes'' Smith nodded. I finished and got up taking my dishes to the sink. ''So no more fighting?'' ''We weren't fighting'' Smith snorted.

''That looked like a fight'' ''We weren't..It was a disagreement'' I laughed. ''Disagreement, fight..what's the diffrence'' she giggled giving her dishes to me and sitting back at the table taking Kyle from his carseat and playing with him. Smith leaned agaisnt my back pulling me in his arms as I washed the dishes. His chin rested on my shoulder and he whispered ''Why don't you want me to go?'' ''I already told you'' I shrugged.

''But I'm fine'' ''No you're not. It's reackless and stupid to go out there like that because you're not fully healed. All you're going to do is get hurt again and-'' ''I'm not going near anyone'' ''It doesn't matter. Did you forget you've got people riding your ass?'' ''No'' he said sternly.

''Then you need to keep your body in mint condition so that they can take your injuries and use them against you, but if you don't let yourself heal then..Then you're a dead man'' I choked a little at the thought of him dead. ''I already promised a week'' he kissed the hollow beneath my ear. I smiled since the shadow on his cheek tickled me. ''I know I'm glad you did'' ''Miri won't like it but she owes me'' ''For?'' ''Matt'' ''What did Matt do?'' ''I've saved his ass countless of times'' ''..He's your younger brother wouldn't you have done it anyway'' ''I did it because he's my younger brother but I can gain favors because of it. Miri loves him she'd do anything for him'' he said bitterly.

I knew it struck a chord. My poor Gabriel. I wish there was a way to tell him that I loved him, that I'd do anything for him..but would he believe me? He knew I loved him but that was about it. I guess I'd have to show him..Prove to him that I'm here for him and he doesn't have to hide so many things from me. I accept him. He knew that. I've told him what felt like a million times but he doesn't seem to see it. Sometimes when he looks at me he stares as if I'm a dream. Like this isn't real. But I am. I'm here and I want him to just be himself. I want to call him Gabriel, not Smith. Smith is someone else but Gabriel is real. But Gabriel is masked by Smith so deep that Gabriel seems as if he doesn't exist. But I know he exists. I've already seen him while others see Smith. All I could do was turn my head and steal a quick kiss on his lips.

I wasn't really used to being so lovey with someone. I hoped that I came off as sweet and not some creep. I didn't really know how to be sweet so I was going off instinct. ''I've got to get ready'' ''Your stuff is in the closet where I always put it and your gun is in the nightstand''

''What would I do without you?'' he chuckled. ''Suffer from the smell of dried blood and dirty laundry'' I snorted. I dried my hands on a rag and turned smiling at him. I crossed my arms and leaned back against the counter. ''I promise I'll be back by one'' ''I'm not your mother Smith. What bothers me is you won't let yourself heal. Make all the promises you want but it's not me who's hurt'' ''And I said I'd take a week'' he nodded uncrossing my arms and putting my hands on his shoulders.

I turned my head to the side smiling at him. ''Yes you did'' I nodded. On the inside I was still a bit frustrated but what can you do? ''Just stay inside..the trips were triggered earlier but
theres no sign of anyone. It might be an animal or friends of some enemies'' ''OK'' I nodded.
I looked over when Lina cleared her throat. ''I'll watch the kid if-'' ''Lina shut up'' I rolled my eyes.

''Well?'' she eyed us. Smith moved away from me uncomfortably. I looked down away from her. ''Oh my god really? I saw one little thing and you two are uncomfortable? Wow. for the record I know you'll be taking her virginity one day so might as well get it over with-'' ''Lina Ai Nguyen'' I interupted her wide eyed. She looked contrite ''What? It's the truth'' she said innocently.

''I'm going to go get ready'' Smith walked out. I narrowed my eyes at Lina and she smiled sweetly. ''What?'' she said innocently. ''Li..We'll get it over with on our own time'' ''Oh my god he's gay'' she said wide eyed. ''What?! No'' i shook my head. ''Then why isn't he all over you?'' ''Maybe he wants to take his time? I don't know'' ''Well you should know..if he's your boyfriend you shoul-'' ''I don't think this is somthing to talk about right now'' ''Well next month you'll be turning twenty..don't you think thats a little old for a virgin of today?'' ''Lina..just..hush''
''Fine''

''I don't want to hear it anymore..sheesh you sound like my mother whenever we pass by a military guy and she nags me about grandchildren'' ''OK'' she nodded backing off.
''All the same I'll watch Kyle if..Well you know'' she winked. I rolled my eyes. ''Can you watch him long enough so I can make sure Smith isn't anoyed enough to murder you?'' ''By all means go right ahead, take all the time in the world'' she giggled.

I went upstairs to find Smith pulling on his pants. ''..I know she's anoying'' I sat on the bed.
''No she's not..She's just open'' he shrugged. ''A little too open'' I grumbled. He held his hand to me. ''Come here'' he said quietly. I walked towards him. He sat on the bed sitting me on his lap. ''Whats bothering you?'' he asked. I shrugged pursing my lips. ''Nothing'' ''Nothing? that look doesn't say nothing..is this about me going out tonight?''

''No'' I shook my head. ''Then what is it?'' he ask. I shrugged. I was a bit embarrased to talk but I wanted to know. ''..You've never pushed me..into anything. Are you attracted to me in that way?'' I asked hesitantly. I blushed lightly as I kept my gaze away from his face. I looked down at his chest hoping that he wouldn't make me anymore insecure about my self than I was. He laughed. ''It's not funny'' ''I'm laughing because you'd actually ask that'' he calmed.
''What does that mean?'' I growled. ''Baby I'm attracted to you. I think you're beautiful and sexy. Why would you even ask that'' ''I can't read your mind Smith..I don't know what you're thinking'' I shrugged.

''Of course I find you attractive'' he cupped my cheek making me look up at him. I tried to look away but when he smiled like that it was hard. He had such a handsome smile and deep dimples. ''You look so cute when you blush'' he chukled. ''Shut up'' I growled blushing more since he called me out on it. It was impulsive. He tilted my head up to him and leaned in kissing me. He laid back on the bed still kissing me. He wasnt wearing a shirt from changing but that was fine. He stopped kissing me and pulled my leg over his hip. ''As for sex..When you're ready'' ''I'm not afraid if that's what you mean'' ''All the same..When you're ready'' he ran his hand up my leg. ''And if I'm ready now?'' ''You know it hurts right?''
''Yeah..but it won't hurt me'' ''How can you be so sure?'' ''Because it's already broken..''
I shrugged. ''I thought you said yo-'' ''I am..I broke it my self a few years back when I lived in arizona'' ''Why?'' ''A friend got raped..and another got used. I didn't want to go through what they did so I broke it myself'' I shrugged tracing circles on his chest. ''I didn't want to be used or hurt in that way. I'm just over cautious'' I said quietly. ''So technically you wouldn't hurt me'' I shrugged. ''I can understand the paranoia..but most people save it..'' ''I'm not like most people'' ''True. How did you-'' ''I don't want to get into this'' I giggled shaking my head.

''I wanna know'' he chuckled. ''I really don't want to say'' my face flamed. ''Please'' ''No''
i shook my head laughing. ''Please'' he kissed my neck.

''No'' ''I'm curious'' ''Well you know what, curiosity killed the cat'' ''Satisfaction brought it back''
''Thats so lame'' ''Yeah well if I can make you tell me-'' ''No'' ''Fine'' he sighed giving up.
I leaned in pecking the tip of his nose. ''Does it really matter?'' ''I guess not'' he shrugged. ''Then stop thinking about it'' I giggled straddling him. ''It's just most people go to great lengths in protecting their virginity, in some countries vrigins are reveared as valuable'' ''My virginity doesn't mean much to me, I could care less. I just didn't want anyone to hurt me''

''Thats understandable'' he nodded. His hands rested on my thighs pulling me to him but I didn't want to sit the full weight of myself on him incase I'd hurt him. His bruises still looked as fresh as the day he got them and he tried to cover up his pain too much.

His phone vibrated and he ground his teeth as I reached over him to the nightstand to get it. I handed it to him and he flipped open the black little phone and sighed. ''You're shitting me'' he said to himself annoyed. ''That damn bitch better have a damn good reason why she's double routing me'' ''You have two people?'' ''Now I do'' he sighed. He rolled on top and tossed his phone to the side of the bed and leaned in kissing me again ''I've really got to go before she rides my ass'' he sighed standing up and pulling on his shirt. He pulled on his jacket and was about to walk out. He turned back to me ''One week..After this no more work for one week..I promise'' he kissed my cheek then left.

I sighed propping myself on my elbow. Oh well. I just wish he didn't make it seem like I was upset because of his work, I was upset for his health.