Status: active... i think.
Teach Me How to Read These Broken Lines
Prologue
"I'm fucking tired of this shit. I'm going home"
Every fiber of my body is exhausted and my mind is running in a million directions. I walked toward the exit of the room as I blurted out the words. I pushed the door in a very rough manner and in a quite maddening way. My best friend followed me as I walked down the hall carrying my bag.
"Jacey! Wait up!" Summer, my best friend, called out to me.
"Look, Summer. Not to offend you or anything, but I'm tired okay. I want to be alone right now and I want to go home. So please. I hope you understand. And no, I'm not mad at you or anything. I'll call you...when I'm okay." I said. Then I turned around to head to the parking lot. My dad's Toyota was the only remaining car on the right side of of the lot. It's already 7 and I just want to go somewhere far and be alone.
I drove off the lot and sped off. I turned on the radio and blasted Augustana. Boston started playing and I felt melancholic.
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed,
She said I think I'll go to Boston
I think I'll start a new life, I think I'll start it over,
where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain
Oh yeah and I think I'll go to Boston, I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice
Tears streamed down my face as I drove. I cried silently as I was listening to the song. Then I noticed. I'm here. In this place. I stopped and turned off the car's engine and went out. I sat on this stone bench and stared at the city below this hill. The lights got blurred as tears went. I wasn't sobbing or anything. It was a rather silent moment for me, a tragic feeling. I blinked and felt the salt liquid on my lips. I licked it and wondered why are tears salty.
I looked down and the city lights blurred my eyes as every orange, red, yellow light made burning pictures. I wonder how many people are in the streets right now, wandering through the city. How many people are with their loved-ones. How many people ate their favorite breakfast. All those questions entered my mind and I sighed.
Breathe, Jacey. Breathe. I thought. I stayed for another half hour looking at the city lights and the endless maze of lamp posts. I realized that my tears stopped flowing since my face feels so gross and sticky. It felt puffy and bloated. I stood up and exhaled. I took a last glance down the city and left.
I drove home and the smell of roast beef greeted me. But the idea of food and forcing it down my stomach isn't really inviting at all. I walked down the living room and saw my mom sitting in front of the television watching this rather weird show.
"Hey, Jace. Your dad's going to be here in 15 minutes from work. We'll eat dinner as soon as he arrives." My mom said in a happy tone and my heart sank. Don't get me wrong but, I love my mom and dad. I want to join them later for dinner but I wasn't in the mood.
"Um, I'm not hungry, mom." I murmured.
"What? Why? What happened? Is there a problem?" My mom asks too many question, I wish she's shut up sometimes and leave me be.
"Nothing. Just...school. Look, I need some alone time. I don't want to offend you and dad by not joining you for dinner tonight, it's just that I'm not on the mood. I'm tired and i want to rest. I love you, mom. Sorry." I said. I walked away without even waiting for her reply. I think she understood. So I went upstairs and entered my room. I locked the door and slumped on my bed.
The events earlier were just too...harsh for me to remember. Harsh may not be the right word to describe this day's events but I don't care. Because it really feels harsh
I remember every word and every movement he made. And right now, I don't even have enough courage to say his name. Let alone think of it.
~*~
The bell rang and I fixed my things. I went out of the room to meet my best friend, Summer, in the cafeteria. I saw her sitting in the middle of the cafeteria, eating. That bitch is always hungry she won't even wait for me so we could eat together.
"Hey," I greeted her.
"Jacey! Oh, are you ready to do this?" She asked, referring to my plan later.
"Umm, yeah. Kinda. I'm so nervous, Summer. Ugh." I grunted. The moment I stepped out of my car in the parking lot, I wanted to go home already and sleep all day. Until now.
"Oh, don't worry. You can do it." Summer said and smiled at me. I hugged her and said thank you.
"So, later at the auditorium?" I asked. She said he always spends his time there with his friends.
"Yes. Meet me up by the entrance later, okay?" Summer replied.
"Okay. Okay. Okay I can do this." I inhaled and exhaled. This is it, I thought.
The bell rang and my fifth period is up. Two more subjects and I'll be doing the biggest risk of my life.
The hours went by so fast and this is it. I ran through the hallway and searched for Summer in front of the auditorium.
"Jacey! Here!" There she is, waving her hand in front of the entrance. I walked up up to her and we entered the auditorium. The school is having a play next month and they're preparing the auditorium. The assigned students are fixing the props, doing some run-downs through the script, practicing some line formations. The works.
We walked through the auditorium and there he is. Seated at the right side of the auditorium, reading some lines. And yes, he's one of the main characters of the play.
"Jacey, this is your chance. I'm going to Mr. Langley to help the students do the the props. Good luck." Summer said. She hugged me and ran to Mr. Langley.
I walked around the auditorium for a good 15 minutes, not taking my eyes off him. He stood up after reading the script and went to his friends. Then his ex-girlfriend entered the auditorium. My heart sank.
Two hours passed and I'm still waiting for "chance". Every hope I have inside me is slowly disintegrating and turning to dust. They're still together, talking and laughing and smiling.
It's already 7 in the evening. I stood up from my seat and walked toward the exit. I heard Summer calling out my name across the auditorium. Then I saw him looking at me, confused.
"Jacey! Wait!" Summer called out.
~*~
And that was it.
You have no fucking idea what you do to me, Alex Mordane.
Every fiber of my body is exhausted and my mind is running in a million directions. I walked toward the exit of the room as I blurted out the words. I pushed the door in a very rough manner and in a quite maddening way. My best friend followed me as I walked down the hall carrying my bag.
"Jacey! Wait up!" Summer, my best friend, called out to me.
"Look, Summer. Not to offend you or anything, but I'm tired okay. I want to be alone right now and I want to go home. So please. I hope you understand. And no, I'm not mad at you or anything. I'll call you...when I'm okay." I said. Then I turned around to head to the parking lot. My dad's Toyota was the only remaining car on the right side of of the lot. It's already 7 and I just want to go somewhere far and be alone.
I drove off the lot and sped off. I turned on the radio and blasted Augustana. Boston started playing and I felt melancholic.
In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed,
She said I think I'll go to Boston
I think I'll start a new life, I think I'll start it over,
where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain
Oh yeah and I think I'll go to Boston, I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice
Tears streamed down my face as I drove. I cried silently as I was listening to the song. Then I noticed. I'm here. In this place. I stopped and turned off the car's engine and went out. I sat on this stone bench and stared at the city below this hill. The lights got blurred as tears went. I wasn't sobbing or anything. It was a rather silent moment for me, a tragic feeling. I blinked and felt the salt liquid on my lips. I licked it and wondered why are tears salty.
I looked down and the city lights blurred my eyes as every orange, red, yellow light made burning pictures. I wonder how many people are in the streets right now, wandering through the city. How many people are with their loved-ones. How many people ate their favorite breakfast. All those questions entered my mind and I sighed.
Breathe, Jacey. Breathe. I thought. I stayed for another half hour looking at the city lights and the endless maze of lamp posts. I realized that my tears stopped flowing since my face feels so gross and sticky. It felt puffy and bloated. I stood up and exhaled. I took a last glance down the city and left.
I drove home and the smell of roast beef greeted me. But the idea of food and forcing it down my stomach isn't really inviting at all. I walked down the living room and saw my mom sitting in front of the television watching this rather weird show.
"Hey, Jace. Your dad's going to be here in 15 minutes from work. We'll eat dinner as soon as he arrives." My mom said in a happy tone and my heart sank. Don't get me wrong but, I love my mom and dad. I want to join them later for dinner but I wasn't in the mood.
"Um, I'm not hungry, mom." I murmured.
"What? Why? What happened? Is there a problem?" My mom asks too many question, I wish she's shut up sometimes and leave me be.
"Nothing. Just...school. Look, I need some alone time. I don't want to offend you and dad by not joining you for dinner tonight, it's just that I'm not on the mood. I'm tired and i want to rest. I love you, mom. Sorry." I said. I walked away without even waiting for her reply. I think she understood. So I went upstairs and entered my room. I locked the door and slumped on my bed.
The events earlier were just too...harsh for me to remember. Harsh may not be the right word to describe this day's events but I don't care. Because it really feels harsh
I remember every word and every movement he made. And right now, I don't even have enough courage to say his name. Let alone think of it.
~*~
The bell rang and I fixed my things. I went out of the room to meet my best friend, Summer, in the cafeteria. I saw her sitting in the middle of the cafeteria, eating. That bitch is always hungry she won't even wait for me so we could eat together.
"Hey," I greeted her.
"Jacey! Oh, are you ready to do this?" She asked, referring to my plan later.
"Umm, yeah. Kinda. I'm so nervous, Summer. Ugh." I grunted. The moment I stepped out of my car in the parking lot, I wanted to go home already and sleep all day. Until now.
"Oh, don't worry. You can do it." Summer said and smiled at me. I hugged her and said thank you.
"So, later at the auditorium?" I asked. She said he always spends his time there with his friends.
"Yes. Meet me up by the entrance later, okay?" Summer replied.
"Okay. Okay. Okay I can do this." I inhaled and exhaled. This is it, I thought.
The bell rang and my fifth period is up. Two more subjects and I'll be doing the biggest risk of my life.
The hours went by so fast and this is it. I ran through the hallway and searched for Summer in front of the auditorium.
"Jacey! Here!" There she is, waving her hand in front of the entrance. I walked up up to her and we entered the auditorium. The school is having a play next month and they're preparing the auditorium. The assigned students are fixing the props, doing some run-downs through the script, practicing some line formations. The works.
We walked through the auditorium and there he is. Seated at the right side of the auditorium, reading some lines. And yes, he's one of the main characters of the play.
"Jacey, this is your chance. I'm going to Mr. Langley to help the students do the the props. Good luck." Summer said. She hugged me and ran to Mr. Langley.
I walked around the auditorium for a good 15 minutes, not taking my eyes off him. He stood up after reading the script and went to his friends. Then his ex-girlfriend entered the auditorium. My heart sank.
Two hours passed and I'm still waiting for "chance". Every hope I have inside me is slowly disintegrating and turning to dust. They're still together, talking and laughing and smiling.
It's already 7 in the evening. I stood up from my seat and walked toward the exit. I heard Summer calling out my name across the auditorium. Then I saw him looking at me, confused.
"Jacey! Wait!" Summer called out.
~*~
And that was it.
You have no fucking idea what you do to me, Alex Mordane.
♠ ♠ ♠
re-written.