I'm Always on My Knees for You

At the office Josh saw his doctor while I saw mine.

During my meeting, the doctor suggested I went to support groups once a week and kept a journal. I agreed and so the doctor gave me a piece of paper with some support meeting addresses and whatnot. By the time I had finished with my appointment Josh was outside waiting for me.

“hm, you finished early.” I said with a smile.

“Yeah, well there wasn’t much to discuss, it was pretty simple. I walked in, told him I needed rehab for a heroin addiction and walked out with an address to a clinic in town.”

“I see, well we should get out of here then, to book your stay there. Yes?” I turned and started making my way to the car with Josh right behind me.

For the most part the ride back was just as quiet as the ride up. So I decided to get as much information about what was to happen out of him now, so it wouldn’t spoil the evening.

“So uh…. How long is this thing going to take?”

“The doctor told me the 90 day program would be best so I’ll do that.”

“Sounds good.”

A few minutes later he looked over to me and simply smiled.

“Hey Ramsay… I’m proud of you, this must be really hard to do and shit..” I said in a low voice, it was a little awkward telling him I was proud of him, since it’s usually something you hear form a parent, but I needed my friend to know he was doing a really good thing for himself as well as for our friendship.

“Thanks Helen, that means a lot to me. And likewise. You’re doing an awesome thing, and maybe it will show your mum she can do better as well.”

Although I knew my mum was too fare gone for any sort of help, it was nice that he said such a thing back. I know he didn’t like my mother much, simply because after my father passed when I was 11, she stopped caring for me and I was left to raise myself.

I would spend countless nights at the Ramsay’s house because my mother wouldn’t come home from the bar. I considered his mom and dad kind of like surrogate parents because I got all the love, attention and care my own mother stopped providing me with.

Don’t get me wrong I still love my mother; hell, I never stopped loving her. She was just a sad depressed woman that lost her one true love. She used to cry herself to sleep every night, and dream of my father. It was up to me to take care of her now, and get her back on her feet.

“Josh?”

“What?” he replied still focused on the road.

“Thanks.”

“What fore, Helen…?”

“For everything, for getting your family to take me in when I need it, for being there no matter what for…” Then he cut me off.

“Shut up Helen. You know my family loves you, my sisters consider you a sibling and you know mom and dad think of you as an other daughter.”

“Yeah, but I wanted to tell you it means a lot to me.” He smiled at me and for some unbeknown reason I started to cry, I felt at that moment I really missed my dad, and I guess I just needed someone.. More then a friend?

Josh’s face fell from smiling to a worried face.

I wiped the tears away from my face but they kept on flowing down.

“Holly shit sorry man, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Don’t fucking apologize for crying, what’s wrong, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I.. I just really miss my dad right now I guess.”

He took my hand into his and rubbed his thumb over my skin.

“It’s alright, I bet you any money he’s proud as fuck that after all that you’ve been though you’re still the same, if not better a better woman.”

As he said that we pull in to his driveway. He turned the car off and we made our way in to the house. Once inside he gave me a giant hug.

“Know what?” he asked with a caring smile.

“I might.” I giggled.

“You are the very best person I have ever met. And I thank you for being my friend.”

“You’re so cheesy Josh.” I slapped his arm and went to the basement of his house and put a movie on.