A New Life for Hope
Chapter Eight
The next day I woke up late; with tired eyes and a headache, I decided that I really didn’t feel like getting out of bed, or doing anything at all, for that matter.
So, I lay like that until the midday sun became too bright to ignore, before giving up and climbing out of bed.
I could hear voices from downstairs, and from somewhere came the inviting smell of a coffee machine working away.
Getting up wasn’t so bad, I decided - I was generally a morning person, but for the past week I hadn’t wanted to get up at all, and had got into the habit of sleeping late.
Now would be a good time to get out of that habit, I resolved.
By the time I was dressed and had pulled my hair into a loose ponytail, I didn’t look any less tired, but I felt a little better.
I washed my face in some cold water from the adjoining bathroom, the brisk freshness waking me up a little.
Walking out the door, I felt a twinge of nerves, but I took no notice of them, dismissing them to the part of my mind that used to be cautious.
It was no use to me now; the old me would never have flown across the country, to live with their father - a famous musician!
I shook my head to clear it, deciding once and for all, that I was no longer going to spend all of my time thinking about things - I would just do them.
With this in mind, I found my way downstairs to meet my new life.
I had only gotten to the bottom of the tall staircase before I doubted my newfound courage, but it was too late to back out now - I had already done so much in the past few days; things I would never have done before Mum died, and before I met Gerard.
Speaking of whom, I could hear him talking to someone in a room off the hallway; he sounded happy, laughing and joking as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
I started walking automatically towards the door, before realising I couldn’t do it; I just couldn’t walk through that door.
It meant a new life, a new beginning… but I couldn’t face up to it.
Even if I had to spend the rest of my life in limbo, doing nothing and having no one, it had to be better than trying vainly to forge a new life out of the Eastside A-list.
I turned and climbed the stairs, moving as if in a dream.
That was all this was, anyway - a terrible nightmare hidden in an amazing dream.
Now I just had to find a way to wake up.
I grabbed my bag and shoved a few things into it: my iPod, a jacket, and the savings I had brought with me.
Sneaking back down the stairs, I walked quietly, stopping at the bottom to check that Gerard was still busy.
I felt a moment of guilt as I caught part of his conversation.
“…and here she is!...”
“I can’t believe it…”
“Neither can I, but I’ve gotta help her out; I’m all she’s got left…”
I turned away quickly, before I could change my mind.
I had reached the door when I felt a stranger‘s presence behind me. I could tell there was someone there, but in my daze, I dared not look back. It couldn’t be Gerard, because he would have stopped me.
Slipping out the door, I closed it gently behind me. I started to walk, hearing a faint voice call after me in my head, but not knowing if it was real or not.
I had walked a few blocks, before realising I had no idea where I was. I kept on, though, until I came to a park.
A quiet fountain bubbled in the middle of a large pond and, all of a sudden, I knew exactly what I had to do. I could just let go of it all…
I sat on a dirty old park bench on the bridge over the pond, talking to Mum in my head, until I felt I was ready to go.
‘Hi, mum… I hope you’re doing good up there… you’re probably helping out some poor soul who misses their family, knowing you.’
I smiled to myself, probably looking like a madwoman to the ducks, who were watching me closely for breadcrumbs.
‘I’m happy; well, I will be before long, anyway. I’ll meet you there soon, I promise…’
I closed my eyes, saying my last goodbye to all the people I knew on Earth.
‘Bye, Maria… Bye, Gerard… dad…’
I somehow kept the tears from overflowing as I walked towards the edge of the bridge.
I stood on the palisade, feeling strangely calm, for a moment. It was going to be all gone; I leaned forwards…
So, I lay like that until the midday sun became too bright to ignore, before giving up and climbing out of bed.
I could hear voices from downstairs, and from somewhere came the inviting smell of a coffee machine working away.
Getting up wasn’t so bad, I decided - I was generally a morning person, but for the past week I hadn’t wanted to get up at all, and had got into the habit of sleeping late.
Now would be a good time to get out of that habit, I resolved.
By the time I was dressed and had pulled my hair into a loose ponytail, I didn’t look any less tired, but I felt a little better.
I washed my face in some cold water from the adjoining bathroom, the brisk freshness waking me up a little.
Walking out the door, I felt a twinge of nerves, but I took no notice of them, dismissing them to the part of my mind that used to be cautious.
It was no use to me now; the old me would never have flown across the country, to live with their father - a famous musician!
I shook my head to clear it, deciding once and for all, that I was no longer going to spend all of my time thinking about things - I would just do them.
With this in mind, I found my way downstairs to meet my new life.
I had only gotten to the bottom of the tall staircase before I doubted my newfound courage, but it was too late to back out now - I had already done so much in the past few days; things I would never have done before Mum died, and before I met Gerard.
Speaking of whom, I could hear him talking to someone in a room off the hallway; he sounded happy, laughing and joking as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
I started walking automatically towards the door, before realising I couldn’t do it; I just couldn’t walk through that door.
It meant a new life, a new beginning… but I couldn’t face up to it.
Even if I had to spend the rest of my life in limbo, doing nothing and having no one, it had to be better than trying vainly to forge a new life out of the Eastside A-list.
I turned and climbed the stairs, moving as if in a dream.
That was all this was, anyway - a terrible nightmare hidden in an amazing dream.
Now I just had to find a way to wake up.
I grabbed my bag and shoved a few things into it: my iPod, a jacket, and the savings I had brought with me.
Sneaking back down the stairs, I walked quietly, stopping at the bottom to check that Gerard was still busy.
I felt a moment of guilt as I caught part of his conversation.
“…and here she is!...”
“I can’t believe it…”
“Neither can I, but I’ve gotta help her out; I’m all she’s got left…”
I turned away quickly, before I could change my mind.
I had reached the door when I felt a stranger‘s presence behind me. I could tell there was someone there, but in my daze, I dared not look back. It couldn’t be Gerard, because he would have stopped me.
Slipping out the door, I closed it gently behind me. I started to walk, hearing a faint voice call after me in my head, but not knowing if it was real or not.
I had walked a few blocks, before realising I had no idea where I was. I kept on, though, until I came to a park.
A quiet fountain bubbled in the middle of a large pond and, all of a sudden, I knew exactly what I had to do. I could just let go of it all…
I sat on a dirty old park bench on the bridge over the pond, talking to Mum in my head, until I felt I was ready to go.
‘Hi, mum… I hope you’re doing good up there… you’re probably helping out some poor soul who misses their family, knowing you.’
I smiled to myself, probably looking like a madwoman to the ducks, who were watching me closely for breadcrumbs.
‘I’m happy; well, I will be before long, anyway. I’ll meet you there soon, I promise…’
I closed my eyes, saying my last goodbye to all the people I knew on Earth.
‘Bye, Maria… Bye, Gerard… dad…’
I somehow kept the tears from overflowing as I walked towards the edge of the bridge.
I stood on the palisade, feeling strangely calm, for a moment. It was going to be all gone; I leaned forwards…
♠ ♠ ♠
cliffhanger... xD