Away From Everything We Fear

Lacey:

The music followed us, but got less loud the further we got from the living room. I hadn’t even had much to drink, but something about John intoxicated me more than liquor ever could. It was the thrill of knowing that I was doing something unlike me. I lead him to the outside terrace where we sat on the ledge of the wall surrounding the house letting our feet dangle over the edge, over empty darkness.

John leaned forward to look over the edge, “Holy shit! How high are we? I didn’t even know our city looked like this from up here.”

I gave an involuntary cringe at John’s words, but I quickly shook it off. “It’s breathtaking isn’t it?” I asked quietly as John tipped back the bottle of Jack.

He offered the bottle to me and I denied his offer. He shook the bottle tauntingly in front of me. I looked at it hesitantly before taking it from his hands and taking a small swallow. After it went down, I let out a small cough and could already feel it warming my body. He let out a small laugh before taking it from me. Our hands touched and we let them linger together for a moment longer until I cleared my throat and looked straight ahead of us.

We looked at the view of the sparkling lights of the city. I let my eyes slide to the left to look at him. I was surprised to find him staring at me. “What?” I asked.

“Tell me about yourself.”

I was a little taken aback. “Oh, um okay. Well… my name is Lacey. Oh, but that you already know,” I said with a blush. “I liked to run, and read. Oh, and I love to cook. And… right now I sound like a really boring old person. I’ve been told that I’m an old soul trapped in a young body even though I’m eighteen, nineteen in exactly two weeks.”

“Wait, what’s today?” He asked suddenly.

I thought for a second, “Oh, um… July 14th.”

He leaned back in thought, “That means my twenty-third birthday is in three weeks.”

The first thought that came to my mind was how cute it was that our birthdays were only a week apart, but then it hit me that he said he was turning twenty-three. “You’re twenty-two!" I practically shouted. That meant he was four years older than me.

“And you’re eighteen.” He stated simply before taking another shot of whiskey.

I couldn’t help the thoughts that were running through my head. It all came in a whirlwind. I couldn’t help it. It was hard enough that John was the type of guy that my parents would roll their eyes in disgust at and my friends would probably make fun of, but four years older? It was like this wasn’t meant to be before it even started. Maybe I was overreacting.

He shook his head with a laugh and climbed down. “Come here.” He said softly.

I eyed him curiously before stepping down and taking his hand. “What are you doing?”

“Just close your eyes and listen,” he whispered.

I stared at him begging for answers with my eyes, but he only repeated his last words. Slowly, I closed my eyes and felt him bring my body close to his. I kept my eyes closed and focused on the heat of his body against mine. He lifted one of my hands to his shoulder and the other he held safely in his. His other hand was on my waist.

He began to hum. Slowly, he rocked my hips to his tune and we began to dance. I liked the feeling of his hand on my hips. I unlaced my hand with his to lace them around his neck.

“You’re not drunk already are you?” I asked jokingly.

He didn’t answer. He continued to hum so I let my eyes flutter open. He was staring down at me. There was something hidden deep in his eyes, but I couldn’t detect it.

He eyed me with a grin. “Why did you invite me here?”

Our eyes connected, but I tried desperately to tear them away from his mesmerizing gaze. Something about the way they sparkled created butterflies in the pit of my stomach. The feeling made me sick—in a good way. Finally, I tore my eyes away. I broke our embrace. I stood up and began walking along the edge of wall.

He got up and extended his hand so that I could balance with him walking on the ground beside me. From up here, the top of his head was at eye level. He lifted his head slightly to look up at me. “Lacey, what are you doing?”

I stopped and turned to face him. “Listen John, I don’t really know why I asked you here, okay? I don’t even know what I want or what I’m doing.” It all came out in a rush and I felt like I was rambling.

With John my entire way of life seemed irrelevant.

And it scared me.



John:

She got up and started walking along the edge. I immediately grabbed her hand terrified that she might slip and fall, but she didn’t seem to be phased by the height at all. In fact she seemed to love it.

Her hand was warm in mine and seemed to fit perfectly. I looked up at her curiously, “Lacey, what are you doing?”

She froze and faced me. She bit her lip. “Listen John, I don’t really know why I asked you here okay?” It all came out in a rush. “I don’t even know what I want or what I’m doing.” She mumbled.

I clasped both of her hands in between mine. “Do you ever not think?” She looked at me with shock causing me to let out a small chuckle. “I mean like— do you ever just do what your heart tells you, no hesitations, no regrets?”

Her hands shook slightly in mine and I wondered what she was so afraid of. She looked into my eyes, “Can you just—I mean, I told you about me and you didn’t really tell me anything about you.”

I was taken aback by her sudden change in subject, but I decided to answer anyways. “Well, you already know I’m in a band. I sing in it. And let’s see… I like simple things I guess like listening to music, being around the people I love, watching.”

Her eyes widened in interest, “Watching?”

I shrugged relishing the fact that we were still holding hands, “Yeah, observing. I like watching the sun set and I like watching thunderstorms. I like watching people even, an-and I know that sounds weird, but—”

“But what about your band?” She interrupted, “like you make it seem like it’s your life. Don’t you ever get afraid that things won’t work out? Aren’t you afraid of the uncertainty in the future?” I knew her questions had more to do than just getting to know me. She seemed to be searching for the answers to some bigger question that she was dealing with.

I leaned forward and whispered, “Don’t be afraid. Just listen to your heart.”

She eyed me carefully. I watched as something deep inside of them ignited. Her eyes fell down to my lips and without warning she kissed me.

Her lips crashed against mine. She leaned into me causing me to lean back and wrap my arms around her. Our breathing got heavy as she kissed me roughly. I breathed in her hot breath making me lightheaded. I took a few steps back bringing her with me. Without breaking our embrace I set her feet lightly on the ground. She pulled away smiling and a laugh escaped her lips. I knew my grin matched hers. She breathed in the cool night air.

In an instant our lips reconnected. Her small hands were on my chest clenching my shirt tightly. She let her hands wander up, one on my neck, the tips of her fingers intertwining in my hair, the other on my arm where she was squeezing it gently. With the hand that was in my hair she tugged on my hair making a small groan escape my lips. I felt her lips curl up.

We detached ourselves from each. She leaned in and kissed me softly before whispering, “Come with me.”