Away From Everything We Fear

Lacey:

“Is it bad that I’m counting the days since I last saw him?” I said to the ceiling.

“Honestly? Yeah, a little bit.”

I straightened my head out and looked over at Chloe.

She sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder. It was Sunday night and Chloe and I were watching nothing, but Glee episodes. Glee marathon for the win. I wanted nothing more than to just be around John again. I hadn’t seen him since three days ago. I know it was bad that I had grown so attached to him already, but I couldn’t help it. Yet, here was Chloe being the voice inside my head telling me how dangerous it was to fall so quickly.

“I just can’t believe that you are so hung up on this guy that you’re already missing him after only three days. I mean and you had sex on the first night and it’s just—this isn’t like you at all Lacey.”

“I know isn’t it great?” I felt myself exclaiming before I had time to even process the words.

She looked at me with worry. Her face softened when she saw the look on my face. I didn’t know what she saw on my face, but I knew how I felt. John and I just fit.

She bit her lip. “I’m really happy for you Lace. Just be careful okay?”

“I will.”

We grew silent as we watched the Rocky Horror Glee Show episode. My mind was racing. I stood up quickly and started pacing. I glanced at Chloe and she had a bemused expression on her face. “Just call him, Lace.”

I jumped back on the couch next to her and crossed my legs. A slew of words came pouring out my mouth. “What should I say? Does it make me sound desperate? Shouldn’t I wait for him to call?”

“Lacey, Lacey, LACEY!” She shook me. “Please, calm down. I’ll tell you what. We should go to Tucson tomorrow, y’know get out of the city for a day and you bring John and I’ll bring… well I don’t know yet, but I’ll bring someone.”

“Like a date?”

She nodded, “Uh, yeah…” She began. “That is what people do when they like each other.”

I grinned. Without another word I grabbed my phone and dialed his number. I shifted my feet nervously as the phone rang.

“Hello?”

His voice was raspy like he was out of breath.

I bit my lip, “Um… hi John. It’s me Lacey.”

He let out a cough and cleared his throat. “Lacey!” He said excitedly. “How are you?”

I was happy that he sounded excited to hear me, but I was also a little bummed that I had been the one that had to call him.

“I’m good.” I responded which was lame because that was the response I gave to everything.

I heard some talking in the back ground and then it grew silent before he started talking again. “Sorry, we were having band practice. So what’s up?”

I didn’t know what to say, well I knew what I wanted to say and that was ‘I miss you’, but I couldn’t exactly come right out and say that. It had only been three days after all. “I just wanted to talk to you.” I started twirling the string that tied my shorts.

“I’m really glad you called.”

A smile broke out across my face. “You are?”

“Yeah, I mean, I didn’t know how much time you needed to… I don’t figure out that I’m actually not the guy you should be falling for.”

My eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not falling fo—I mean, I like you John. I thought you knew that?”

“I know you do and I like you too. I’m just being stupid.” He mumbled. “So why did you call?”

I focused my eyes on Chloe who I knew was listening to my end of the conversation and was wondering what he was saying in return. I turned away from her in thought. Could it be possible that my feelings for John were just short lived? The way John made it sound; I wasn’t really a girl that would be with him for the long run.

“Lacey, are you still there?”

I closed my eyes. “I’m still here. John, I don’t want whatever we have to just be some summer fling, okay? When we spent that entire day with Zack and Izzy everything felt natural and right and for once in my miserably perfect life, I found you, someone who seems like the complete opposite of perfection to my friends and family, but perfect for me. You’re exactly what I need.”

“Lacey, I’m not trying to deny these feelings that I have for you. I just wanted to give you time to make sure that I’m who you want. I know how what those guys said to me at that party really affected you and I’m not exactly a parent’s dream boy so… I just want you to know that I’m me and that’s all that I’ll ever be and I won’t change and I don’t want to be kept a secret.”

My eyes clouded with confusion. “I’m not keeping you a sec—” But then I remembered how I made Zack and Izzy promise and the truth was at the moment I really had intended for John to never meet my parents or at least not for a very long time until I knew things were serious.

“John, I’m just kind of really sheltered, I guess… and I don’t know— it’s really hard for me to live under my parent’s rules.”

I heard him let out a sigh. “Lacey, do you not hear yourself right now? I like you. A lot. But if you can’t be comfortable being seen with me how is this ever going to work?”

“What if I told you that I would try?”

“Try?” He asked.

“I’ll show you off to my friends, I’ll introduce you to my mom, dad, even my brothers and sister if you’ll go out with me tomorrow.” It all came out in a rush, but I felt myself believing the words coming out of my mouth.

He chuckled. “I’m guessing this date was the reason you called.”

I laughed in relief, but in the back of my mind I had a feeling that this conversation wasn’t over. “Yeah, it was actually, but I’m glad we had this talk. So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”



John:

“So we’re going to Tucson?” I asked once I was sitting in the back of the car next to Lacey.

She smiled and I immediately felt all my earlier worries fade away. I loved just being around her. I leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. She was the type of girl that made me speechless.

I cleared my throat. “So, I was thinking you should come to my show tomorrow night.”

Her eyes opened ride. “Where is it? Is it like some sketchy place?”

I laughed at her naivety. “No, it’s at Scottsdale Venue. Don’t worry it’s safe, you’ll be fine.”

“Oh okay. That sounds fun.”

I could detect the uncertainty in her voice, but I didn’t say anything more. If I could just get her to the show, I knew she’d love it. I had begun to notice that Lacey was the type of girl who was scared to do a lot of different things, afraid to break out of her shell. It was as if she was the complete opposite to me. The Yin to my Yang? Or so opposite that things could never work out?

They did say that opposites attract.

“You remember Chloe?” Lacey asked.

“Yes, I do. Good to see you again, Chloe.”

Chloe turned to acknowledge John. “The feelings mutual.” She said brightly. She put her hand on the arm of our friend who was driving. “This is Jeremy. Germs, say hi.”

He glanced back and grinned. “Hey.”

I was glad that Lacey actually had friends that weren’t stuck up rich kids. Lacey squeezed my hand.

“So, you sing in your band?” She said, making conversation.

I nodded “And play acoustic guitar occasionally.”

“That’s hot.” Chloe said from the front seat.

Lacey and I laughed. “Excuse her. She’s really up front with people.”

“Yeah, I can tell.”

Chloe let out a laugh and turned around in her seat to face us. She grinned. “So if you can sing… why don’t you sing for us now?”

John’s eyes glanced at me before going back to Chloe. “Actually, I just asked Lacey if she’d come to my show tomorrow. You can hear me sing then.”

“I already told you I’d go.” She teased.

I grinned. “I know, but I want to make sure you go. That’s why I’m telling Chloe.”

“She’s not my mother!” Lacey said with a laugh.

I caught her arm before she could hit my playfully and she struggled to come loose. She squealed. “John, let me go.”

I shook my head. “Nope, not until you promise me that you’ll go.”

Her cheeks grew red. “Fine. I promise.”

“You guys are so adorable, it’s making me sick.” Chloe observed before turning around.

Lacey scooted over so that she was snuggled up against me. I took off my seat belt to let her lean her head against my chest.

“So where in Tucson are we going?” I asked everyone in the car.

Jeremy answered. “I think they said they wanted to go to the mountains or down to the U of A and look around.”

The drive to Tucson was two to three hours and soon everyone grew silent just listening to the radio. She fell asleep in my arms. It was the middle of the day so I had no idea how she could fall asleep so easily. As for me, I was growing antsy. I didn’t like sitting down for so long without doing anything. I wanted to tap my leg up and down, but it’d wake Lacey up so instead I kept clenching my fist. After two hours we were in Tucson city limits and then it took about forty-five minutes to get to the mountains. I was relieved to get out.

I shook Lacey gently and she opened her tired eyes slowly. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. She smiled.

Her cheeks were a faint shade of pink. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you. I tend to do that a lot don’t I?”

I took in the clear mountain air and chuckled. I shrugged, “Eh, you’ve done it to me a few times.”

She grabbed my hand and we walked to the edge of the mountain secured off by a cement wall. She peered over the edge and her eyes landed on a hawk swooping down to catch it’s prey.

“You want to know what I wanted to be when I was younger?”

I shook my head and came up beside her. “No, what?”

“I didn’t want to be anything, nothing at all. That’s what I told everyone. My Kindergarten teacher thought something was wrong with me and even called my parents in.” She looked away from me and back to the view around her. “I told them I just wanted to fly. That was it. If I could fly, I’d be happy.”

I wrapped my arms around her waist and put my head on her shoulder while she continued to talk.

“You want to know what they told me?” She asked bitterly. “They told me that it was an unreasonable wish, that if I wanted to fly I could fly planes or something. That’s not what I wanted though, I just wanted to fly whenever I wanted, just me and the sky. Sounds weird, I know. But telling a little five year old girl that what she wanted most in life was impossible really hurt.”

“When I’m with you I feel like I’m flying.” I told her softly.

She turned around in my arms and smiled before kissing me softly.

“I feel the exact same way.”