Snakes and Secrets

GHOSTS AND MEMORIES

Draco flew towards an open window on the 7th floor and entering it; he dropped his broom off in the Room of Requirement and summoned his bag from the Great Hall. Stopping himself he thought and just knew this would be a bad idea but still dug through to the bottom of his dresser drawer. He pulled out the clothes Pansy had once bought him saying he looked like every girl’s bad boy wet dream. He had never worn them but decided that if he was going to be a rule breaker he should at least dress the part. It was all part of being the actor he was.

He remembered when Pansy first bought them for him. He’d only worn it once and swore never to wear again…

*
…”Please Drake Pretty Please!”

“I am NOT wearing that! It’s cheap and denim… Its Muggle and well its bloody American!”

It was a week before school started 5th year and Draco was rattled about the return of the Dark Lord. His nightmares were worse then ever and all 4 of them were unnerved because there was a rumor that Voldy was looking for new, fresher faces in his ranks. Draco was the most frightened but was trying to hide it like he hid everything else. Only his friends saw right through it. (Okay, mostly Pansy. Blaise was too busy subtly pinning after Pansy and Theo was too busy trying to keep him from doing something stupid. Like walk into traffic like a love sick moron, trying to get a good look at her arse.)

So Pansy declared that they needed a vacation as far away from England as possible. Draco expected Rome, Sydney, Cairo maybe. The Taj Mahal perhaps.

Not Los Angeles, California. In America! Pansy’s American pureblood pen pal Katrina had arranged for rooms in her mansion and they arrived by Floo. Pansy and Kat then had taken a sick sadistic pleasure in Draco and Blaise’s twin expressions of horror when she told them where they were.

Theo looked outside on the terrace overlooking the city curiously. “So this is what America look’s like. A lot brighter than England that’s for sure.” He paused and asked. “What’s Hollywood? You said this was Los Angeles! Who’s Hollywood and why is he so bloody important that he gets to have his name on a mountain!?”

Kat had a sudden coughing fit and Theo still hasn’t forgiven them for refusing to tell him who in Salazar’s name Hollywood was.

Pansy of course had an alternative reason for coming here and it was to find a present for Draco that might calm his nerves. She sent Blaise and Theo with Kat on a shopping trip to Pantherum Mall, the local Wizarding mall.

Pansy was ‘the distraction’ and Draco was dragged against his will through many (oh Salazar so many) muggle clothing stores until he finally snapped and demanded to know why she was torturing him. Her reply was “Because I need a big strong man to protect me.”

Which Draco knew was a total lie. Pansy could punch just as hard as him and scare off any unwanted party with one icy smile. All without mussing her hair.

Draco came to the conclusion that Pansy was trying to slowly drive him mad.

She finally reached his limit when she came to a stop in front of a store with a dark interior and loud music.

Draco caught Pansy’s eye and slowly started to back away. “Right. I think we should go find the others.”

“Come on Drake.”

“I mean it! Who knows how many poor innocent Americans Theo has terrified?” She grabbed his hand. “You are going in that store Draco Malfoy.”

“Actually its way past lunch and I’m hungry. Did I ever tell you that I’m hypoglycemic which means I get really pissy when I don’t have food?”

“That would explain a lot.” Came the unsympathetic reply.

“Hey!” He cried indignant. He was halfway through the doorway when he stopped.

“What is it?”

“This is a muggle store right?”

“Yes” she said slowly, suspicion narrowing her eyes.

“That’s weird.”

“What is?”

“Nothing” he said as he floated through the door.

Pansy followed him instantly suspicious trying to process every little part of him that moved and why. What had happened that made him willingly walk through into the shop? The cheap, tight, ripped and paint splattered clothes didn’t seem to interest him in the least.

He seemed focused yet he wasn’t really looking at anything or searching. And he was muttering under his breath. She came up behind him and listened.

“Cuz I lie
Not because I want to
But I seem to need to all the time
Cuz I lie
And I don’t even now it
Maybe this is all apart of my
Flawed design”

He was singing! And he was singing the muggle song that was blasting through the speakers! Who would have thought that a Malfoy would actually like something about muggles? She had some other theories about him too but she wasn’t about to tell him that she bet Daphne Greengrass 3 galleons on why her friend had no interest in girls at all.

What he didn’t know won’t hurt his pretty little head.

Pansy smiled like a snake and tapped him on the shoulder startling him. “You’re a size 38 right?” “Yes…” “Hm that should be about a medium here.” She darted away leaving a confused blond (AN: lol when aren’t blondes confused? Hehe I’m blonde too. Confused blondes of the world UNTIE!) alone. She came back with an armload of clothing with her sneaky all-knowing smug smile still in place. He scowled.

”Please Drake Pretty Please!”

“I am NOT wearing that! It’s cheap and denim… It’s Muggle; and well it’s bloody American!”

“Drake” She said so sweetly syrup practically dripped from her words. “If you don’t I’ll tell everyone in school that you still sleep with Blacky hidden under your pillow.”

“But I haven’t had that old stuffed dragon since I was 10!”

“They don’t know that.” Her voice was still a sickly purr. He snatched up the clothes.
“Manipulative bitch”

“Way to state the obvious Dearheart. Now, get going!” She ordered. Draco obediently sulked towards the changing rooms. Pansy made sure he was inside before locking the door with a rubber band twined around the handle and a nearby hook. She was truly evil.

Hurrying out, she went to the Pantherum Mall and went to the music store. She described exactly what she wanted to the worker and got the best thing she could hope for. A muggle device with magical properties that could play music of any song in the world that had been written that you asked for, and wouldn’t mess up in magically sensitive places; like Hogwarts. Pansy loved America.

She ran back to her friend who- as she expected- was still locked in the changing rooms. He was too proud to ask anyone (muggle or otherwise) for help. Stubborn idiot. Stubborn muggle music loving idiot. She thought smugly.

“Is there any particular reason” Draco seethed. “That you locked me in a muggle store for an hour?”

“Yes. You’ll thank me later but” she nodded at his outfit. “Maybe with those you’ll actually get a date. You look like a friggen wet dream.”

“You know I’m going to burn this first chance I get right?”

“I know. But you can’t blame a girl for trying.”

*
Draco smiled to himself remembering the present he got from her a month later. It was amazing and he’d faithfully listened to it every night when his dorm mates went to bed. (It was a reoccurring joke among the boys that Draco loved the thing more than he loved himself if that was even possible)

Even though it had been a little more than a year, he hasn’t grown that much (unfortunately) and the clothes still fit him pretty well.

The items in question were ripped-at-the-knees black muggle jeans and a black button down shirt with thin barley noticeable vertical stripes and a grey graphic design of a dragon. He admitted that he looked good before thinking that he looked good in anything really.

He ran down the stairs for his first class when he realized that he had one free period that morning before double advanced potions with all 6th years smart enough to make it.
With a groan he slowed his pace and decided to go to the library when he was roughly shoved into a transfiguration classroom. Reacting quickly (reacting. Not panicking. Malfoy’s do NOT panic) he lashed out and felt the crunch of bone.

“Ah! I think you broke my nose!” Now free Draco pulled out his wand and pointed it at his assailant.

“Weasely!? I thought you were smith!”

“For a ferret you have a mean right hook.” He redhead growled holding his nose.

“I played quidditch for 4 years. I didn’t get muscles from sitting there and looking pretty”

Ron got up from the floor. “And Harry still beat you. Repeatedly.”

“Boys please!” Hermione separated them. “He broke my nose Hermione!” Ron cried indignantly.

“That’s what you get for dragging him into a darkened classroom. He doesn’t even bother pretending to follow the rules. Especially since he’s not a prefect anymore either. Honestly Malfoy? The lake?”

Draco smirked. “I’m sure he and the Giant Squid are becoming great friends now.” Almost absentmindedly he fixed Ron’s nose with a waved of his wand. Ron howled in pain but realized his nose was now healed. “Besides,” Draco continued “You don’t seem to care about the rules when Dumbles lets you off the hook for going out on suicide missions every year and-“ he turned and stopped short. It wasn’t just Weasel and Granger there. It was well…everyone from the DA and then some. Pansy, Blaise and Theo too. They were all quietly watching. Some rolling their eyes, other’s shaking with laughter. It was rather unnerving that they were all waiting for him.

He let out a shaky laugh and leaned against the back wall. “This is either my unwanted, unexpected fan club or the homophobic mob Smith ordered.”

With a sob Pansy flung herself towards him and latched on crushing his arms and ribs and crying into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry for everything! I’ve missed you so much and now your back! You’re back!”

‘I never went anywhere!”

“You were quiet and depressed and we never saw you and now you’re making jokes and fighting back and oh I’m so sorry!”

“Pans I can’t breathe!” She didn’t let go. She was a sobbing mess. Her make-up was running and her breaths were coming in little hiccupping sounds. Blaise and Theo- the traitors- were doing nothing but laughing at his predicament and everyone else in the room was watching in amusement.

His face was getting hot and it was getting increasingly difficult to breathe. “Pansy Margaret Parkinson I don’t know what in the devil you’re crying for but if you let me go and let me breathe properly I’ll forgive you for everything!”

She let go and forgetting the last bit of pride he had left he ran and hid behind Blaise and Theo. “Yes why are you crying Pans?” Blaise hummed. “Now you finally have someone girly enough to go shoe shopping with you.”

“OW!” He rubbed the back of his head where Draco hexed it. “What the bloody Hell was that for!?”

“Accident.” Draco purred and the room erupted into laugher at the Slytherins antics. Even the quartet’s glare at being the center of attention did nothing to faze them.

Draco sighed and sat on the teacher’s desk and looked around at everyone assembled around the room. Theo sat down and to his surprise Seamus Finnegan planted himself in his friend’s lap. Draco raised his eyebrows at them but did not comment just smiled knowingly. “Will anyone tell me what I’m doing here and what’s going on?’

“Nope!” Seamus chirped from Theo’s lap cheerfully. “I know Slytherins ain’t all bad but you’re the worst of the worst. These three been sayin’ that you were acting so the spies in the other years wouldn’t report you as less than loyal to Voldy. So prove ‘em right.”
“Do I really need to?”

“Ya” Hannah spoke up. “Prove how smart you are.”

“He’s not in Ravenclaw.” Terry Boot argued. “Don’t prove how smart you are. Prove than you can be three steps ahead of everyone else and give us a reason that you would go against your dear old dad.”

“No!” Theo moaned. “Don’t say that! He’s gonna go all bloody Sherlock Holmes on us!”
“More like Salazar Slytherin on us. He was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s ancestor.” Everyone looked at Pansy in shock. “What? I read more than just fashion you know.”

“It the fact that you read at all that surprises me.” She gave Theo the two-fingered salute and sat on the desk next to Draco. “Alright Dray lets hear it.”

He took a deep breath feeling ridiculous. “Pansy Blaise and Theo went along with hating me so they could gain a little time. Blaise could arrange to live with his sister with us when we’re all alone. His mom was serious about disowning him: no Slytherin would ever send something so undignified unless they were really mad and completely pissed. She was drunk when she sent it too.

Theo and Pansy planed to cut ties with their family when they are of age but have accounts of money in case we’re ever found out. Then they planned to change the school around. The teachers weren’t doing anything. Mostly on orders from Dumbles because he wanted his golden boy to do all the work.”

He heard a gasp from the shadows to his left by the door. Poor gullible Potter. “But he underestimated the snakes. They recruited you all because you’re all trouble makers dedicated about what you think is right. Most if not all of you hate me with a burning passion but you hate homophobia more. Possibly because you are yourself queer or most likely have a friend or relative you care about or just like to break the rules. You all put drops of hair changing potion into everyone’s goblets via peeves. You could just barley taste it but I know a potion when I taste one.” he looked at Pansy. “I was depressed but I got over it. It wasn’t like you said; because of exile. I could handle that. It was something much more real. And much more devastating. And about why I would hate my dad? That’s really none of your goddamn business.” He looked out to everyone.

“Have I proved myself? Yes? Good.” He jumped of the desk and went to grab his bag when Harry Potter of all people finally came out of the shadows and seized his arm. There was a pregnant pause where the Harry’s hand seemed to burn through Draco’s clothes and scorch his skin. “Is it true?”

The whole room held their breath waiting for a fight. Ron drew his wand as did Pansy. Draco asked quietly. “Is what?”

Potter’s eyes flashed. “This” he hissed yanking up Draco's sleeve to expose the cuts. “Why?” Suddenly everything clicked in his brain and furious Draco spat. “You tell me!” He pulled his rival closer and wrenched his sleeve up too exposing numerous cuts. “Mad that you aren’t the only scared little boy with issues? You asked me why because you wondered how my life could be any more messed up than yours!” he was shouting now gripping Harry's wrist like a lifeline completely oblivious to everyone around them. “I’ve been living in fear my entire life. I lived like a robot because if I didn’t do what was expected of me I would be hurt. Again and again and again!”

Harry was transfixed by the boy in front of him. It was more of an explanation than he’d ever dreamed for. Hermione held Ron back. She wanted to hear it too. It was remarkable. It sounded like Malfoy had wanted to say this for a long time.

Draco growled out “Now I’ve been sentenced to death by the one who made my life an endless nightmare! And my father not only approves- he ordered it! He ordered it every time I got…” His voice suddenly got really soft. So soft Harry couldn’t hear the next word, but he caught the hesitation and he connected the dots. There was more to the story but Malfoy was done explaining.

He voice still had that annoying soft tone and everyone leaned in to listen. “Just because we’re on the same side Potter doesn’t make us friends. You try but you can’t save everyone.” The words washed over Harry and he remained enthralled by the blonde and his words.

Draco looked at his arm and studied the scars and patterns that painted the tanned flesh. So alike yet so different. Deeper and longer to cause the most pain. He used an actual knife judging by the thickness of the cuts too. Viciously beautiful. Filled with so much grief. “People think you’re haunted by the death of your godfather. That it hurts deep inside. He was your family of course but that’s only part of it. There’s more to it isn’t there?” green met silver and Harry realized that Draco knew. And understood. And he couldn’t look away. Couldn’t turn from the only one who understood. Even if it was Draco Malfoy.

“You see ghosts Harry. You hate yourself because you are the one that caused them. Your saving people urge that everyone says you have is a small part of it. The other is the side you hate. You didn’t ask for danger but you didn’t complain. You were bored. What’s the point of being brave if you couldn’t prove it? You hate yourself now because you suspected it was a trick but went after him anyway. It was an adventure. You see his ghost every time you go one a new adventure. Only you welcome the reminder.”

“You aren’t haunted by the death. You aren’t haunted by the war Harry Potter. You miss it.” Draco leaned in close. “Welcome back.” He let go abruptly and picked up his bag. “It’s time to choose a side, Harry. I’m tired of pretending to be what I’m not. I bet you are too.”

The door closed behind the blonde and the spell was broken. Everyone was buzzing about it but shushed up when Neville piped up.

“Was it true Harry? What he said about you?”
“Ya” his friend said softly staring at the door in awe absentmindedly rubbing the place when Draco had grabbed it. He mentally shook himself and his voice got louder “Ya its true. Every last word”

He fixed his sleeve and spoke to the others. “Come on everyone. We are going to be late for class!” They left until it was only Harry, Ron Hermione and Blaise.

“He does that.” Blaise said. “If you give him the chance and a few minutes conversation he could tell you your whole life story. It’s how he’s survived this long. He’s outsmarted everyone since he was 10.”

“Was he really beaten?” Hermione asked softly. She had connected the dots too. Blaise nodded slowly.

“Who would to that to their own son? Or to a little kid?”

“His father never got his hands dirty. He just confounded Narcissa and ordered it.”

“But ordered what!? He wasn’t just abused was he?” Hermione asked knowingly.

“Granger” Blaise turned on her. “For the sake of your mental health don’t ask that again. Don’t research it. Don’t solve it don’t even think about it. Just please forget it and get over the fact that you don’t know everything. Honestly… you don’t want to know”

Blaise shook his head sadly all anger evaporating and walked out to find his friends. “Harry?” Hermione asked gently. “Why didn’t you tell us how you felt?”

“Because you wouldn’t understand. You would’ve tried but it wouldn’t have been enough. No one understands.” But Draco No one spoke the words but everyone seemed to hear them. And they walked out in silence and wondered how Draco, in 45 minutes managed to turn their world completely upside-down.

Slytherin talent, probably.