Snakes and Secrets

GUILT
Harry hated this feeling.

He was shivering from the November wind blowing through the open windows in Professor Binns class. Beside him Ron was sleeping, snoring softly and drooling on his textbook.

For once Hermione wasn’t taking notes. They both were listening to the sound of crumpled paper hitting someone, a pink-haired someone for instance.

Harry never thought he would feel bad for Draco Malfoy but he did now. There 5th year at Hogwarts had changed them both. Death had humbled Draco and angered Harry. There was no need for prejudice differences anymore. There simply wasn’t a point to it. Unless they wanted normalcy, but then it was really sad when the only thing they could count on was each other’s anger.

Harry thought back to then night Ron had convinced him to snatch some Veritaserum from Snape’s private stores. They explained to Hermione that maybe it would help them get information from Slughorn about Voldy. Dumbledore would scold yet praise them yadda yadda… It had worked anyway until Draco had caught them. Well actually they had set off the Snape’s protection wards and while they grabbed it they waited while Snape barged through the door, wand at the ready, and the ears of his black bunny slippers waving wildly. They slipped quietly through the open door, fighting off insane fits of giggles.

They were using the Room of Requirement as a storage room. When Draco caught them, all Harry really cared about was finding a way to expose Draco as a death eater. And he was so very wrong. Draco wasn’t and would never be a death eater. He felt another pang of guilt as he glanced back and saw the scattered paper balls floating around the ponce. He’d bet his entire inheritance that they contained some nasty explicit things.

Everyone needs a friend. Harry wouldn’t have survived without his no matter how distant they’ve become lately. So grow up and be his. He shivered again like little snowflakes were trapped inside his skin. He couldn’t bring himself to spread the hand of friendship to Draco, no matter how much pity he had.

Suddenly he was back in first year talking to an eager blonde in a robe shop and remembered the hand of friendship he gave him on the train. Another wave of guilt washed over him like a wave breaking over the rocks. Draco had changed this year. He had been civil to Harry, to all of them. To Ron even.

There was something nagging at the back of Harry’s mind. The look in Draco’s eyes when he had caught them in the hallway was unmistakable. It was relief. Why on earth would Draco Malfoy be relieved to see him!? Was Draco hoping he wasn’t insane when he heard them in the hall? Or was it something more? He was completely on edge like the shadows would start moving and would morph into some horrible pure-blood-eating creature? What would set him off like that? What was Malfoy scared of? Why was he civil? Why didn’t he defend himself? Where did his sneer go?

Harry glanced at Hermione and realized that yet again she was right. He will finally somewhat admit that he had an almost sort-of complicated not really but yet still there small obsession with the Slytherin Prat. And now it was on a whole new level. Harry was deathly curious to find out who the real Malfoy was. A wad of paper flew past his ear and he winced at it hit its target.

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Hermione felt sick.

She didn’t understand the whole Draco situation at all. And she hated not understanding something. She tried to put little pieces together like she usually did.

1.Draco was Gay. And he hid that from everyone.
2.He was polite to those who were nice to him but then just ignored them like everyone ese.
3.He didn’t fight the bullies. He took it. Like he deserved it. Like he wanted the punishment.
4.Yet he kept the pink hair. Had even added stylish black streaks.
5.He was polite and civil to her on prefect duties.
6.He called her Granger or Hermione.
7.#6 is just plain surreal.
8.He and Harry had some kind of connection or understanding.
9.Harry’s hiding something about Draco.
10.Harry’s hiding something anyway.
11.Draco for whatever reason had probably changed for the better.
12.She needed to get him out of his quiet shell so she could explore this further.
13.She always, always, always, needs to remember that the past was the past.
14.She always, always, always needs to remember to watch her back around a Malfoy, even a gay one.
15.She needs to get the answers out of Harry too, so she could solve her confusion and understand the situation better.
16.The answers were sitting right next to her, and she hated it.

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Blaise hated himself.

He was a cowardly bastard he knew that. It didn’t help his guilt one little bit. He was the worst kind of Snake. No he was the 2nd worst. The worst were the ones that willingly gave up one of their own. What happened to the deep set Slytherin loyalty? Most Slytherins couldn’t trust their parents so they trusted each other instead. Yet they abandon their prince.

Zach Smith had declared open season on Draco and really only a select few went along. A couple nasty Hufflepuff, a team of Ravenclaws. Nott had been cruel at first but when he saw one of his best friends almost break his neck being pushed down the stairs he snapped. No one messes with a Slytherin. Blaise and Theo had been plotting revenge ever since. But it was the Gryffindors that were the most brutal, save Smith and his cronies. Everyone else just shunned him.

Not all Snakes were bad. And the other houses didn’t particularly have clear conscious. But what exactly have the teachers’ done to stop and punish the Lions? Nothing. They watched like it was a side-show street performance!

He studied his Charms Homework and wrote one sentence before he heard the grating voices of some first years talking about the last quidditch game. Madam Pince quickly shushed them but Blaise’s wire-thin concentration was lost. Again his thoughts strayed to his friend. He really needed to stop thinking about it.

But then there was the fact that Draco had quit the Quidditch team, something he had always loved more than anything. Not that Blaise blamed him. If he’d stayed on, Draco probably would’ve been mobbed by bulgers and knocked off his broom. Their new seeker is horrible. He sits on his broom daydreaming or watching the game, only half-heartedly going after the snitch. No one else could even stay one their broom.

They have never had such a terrible losing streak. No one on the team dares ask Draco to come back. No one wants to face The Nott’s. The Nott’s were pretty powerful in society and basically ruled with blackmail. If people stood for Draco, rumors and abuse -whether true or not- reached their parents ears. Theo swore that he never told his parents anything and had owled them repeatedly asking how they possibly knew. They never answered.

So instead Draco had received among the hate mail, countless anonymous letters that begged him to rejoin the team. Draco incinerated them with a blank look and a flick of his wand. The message was clear: He wasn’t going back.

Blaise turned back to his Charms homework but the words blurred on the pages and a slight pounding throbbed behind his eyes. He needed to stop thinking too hard. But he deserved it if he couldn’t even look his friend in the eyes anymore. He truly tried to help him best he could but Smith has been tailing Draco like a hawk.

The throbbing behind his eyes got louder. He was getting a headache. His mama’s threat rang in his ears. He laid his head on the table giving up all hope on homework.

He came to one conclusion: Life sucks.

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